Craigieboy Posted May 20, 2008 Share Posted May 20, 2008 I once told a girl that she wasn't 'ugly' but that she was 'fair faced'. I then went on to explain what I meant, saying "well, you are not ugly but you are nothing special". "Do you know what I mean", was what I asked her when she stared at me. I was only 18. What a fud. . Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tams bird Posted May 20, 2008 Share Posted May 20, 2008 Did you drink a lot in them days as well? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Commander Harris Posted May 20, 2008 Share Posted May 20, 2008 when noticing a mouse on the left hand side of a client's computer I exclaimed "oh! you're left handed too!" only to discover that although in a way my statement was accurate, his lack of a right arm might be an issue oops. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chester copperpot Posted May 20, 2008 Share Posted May 20, 2008 when noticing a mouse on the left hand side of a client's computer I exclaimed "oh! you're left handed too!" only to discover that although in a way my statement was accurate, his lack of a right arm might be an issue oops. Story of the week Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Toggie88 Posted May 20, 2008 Share Posted May 20, 2008 when noticing a mouse on the left hand side of a client's computer I exclaimed "oh! you're left handed too!" only to discover that although in a way my statement was accurate, his lack of a right arm might be an issue oops. :rofl: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Craigieboy Posted May 20, 2008 Author Share Posted May 20, 2008 Did you drink a lot in them days as well? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jambopompey Posted May 20, 2008 Share Posted May 20, 2008 of course i love and respect you,............ now get yer knickers off..... wake up in the morning and look over and say to yourself, how big a drop is it from this top floor flat Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Old Tolbooth Posted May 20, 2008 Share Posted May 20, 2008 when noticing a mouse on the left hand side of a client's computer I exclaimed "oh! you're left handed too!" only to discover that although in a way my statement was accurate, his lack of a right arm might be an issue oops. Brilliant Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Carl Weathers Posted May 20, 2008 Share Posted May 20, 2008 when noticing a mouse on the left hand side of a client's computer I exclaimed "oh! you're left handed too!" only to discover that although in a way my statement was accurate, his lack of a right arm might be an issue oops. :rofl: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Old Tolbooth Posted May 20, 2008 Share Posted May 20, 2008 Will you marry me! (first time around of course) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Better call Saul Posted May 20, 2008 Share Posted May 20, 2008 (speakin to the wife)..........well your Bum does look a little big in that new dress.:dribble::dribble: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
portobellojambo1 Posted May 20, 2008 Share Posted May 20, 2008 Probably shouldn't have said to my ex-wife on honeymoon "have to be honest and say Paul Ritchie has a better pair of legs than you". She took it very personally for some reason. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Doctor FinnBarr Posted May 20, 2008 Share Posted May 20, 2008 "I do" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Perth2Paisley Posted May 20, 2008 Share Posted May 20, 2008 I was out at a posh Gordon Ramsay restaurant with my wife for her 30th. Just as dessert was served, the subject of lap-dancing came up (can't remember how), and I mentioned that I'd been to a 'gentleman's special interest' pub some months before. Game over. No communication for 24 hours. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Quagmire Posted May 21, 2008 Share Posted May 21, 2008 I once told a girl that she wasn't 'ugly' but that she was 'fair faced'. I then went on to explain what I meant, saying "well, you are not ugly but you are nothing special". "Do you know what I mean", was what I asked her when she stared at me. I was only 18. What a fud. . that is truly, truly fantastic, like something out of the peep show Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dix Handley Posted May 21, 2008 Share Posted May 21, 2008 :beer::beer::beer:"You dont look like your getting any. I will do you if your desperate":oopsoops: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Legend Claws Posted May 21, 2008 Share Posted May 21, 2008 "You can stand up now" To a midget. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tams bird Posted May 21, 2008 Share Posted May 21, 2008 I seen Gullet in a taxi at the Balmoral Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
I P Knightley Posted May 21, 2008 Share Posted May 21, 2008 when noticing a mouse on the left hand side of a client's computer I exclaimed "oh! you're left handed too!" only to discover that although in a way my statement was accurate, his lack of a right arm might be an issue oops. Similar story: A few of us were doing some voluntary work helping out in a hospital and getting the patients up in the morning for their breakfast. One of my mates, assigned to a patient called Joe was making a fuss around his bed and said, "Joe, I can only find one of your slippers." Joe threw back the bedsheets and said back, "**** me! I can only find one of my legs too. Do you think they've run off together?" One of my own was when giving a presentation to a fairly large group. A girl in the front asked a question and I was busy explaining the point to her. I meant to say something like, "It's as clear as the nose on your face." (I actually can't remember the correct phrase now since I'm sworn off using it for life). What I actually said was, "It's as plain as your face." Which was a shame 'cos I would have. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Prince Buaben Posted May 21, 2008 Share Posted May 21, 2008 when noticing a mouse on the left hand side of a client's computer I exclaimed "oh! you're left handed too!" only to discover that although in a way my statement was accurate, his lack of a right arm might be an issue oops. :rofl: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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