"...further egg on the face of Craig Gordon..."

[Sexton Hardcastle]

 

 

[pigdog]

WTf

[BM1874]

A very good goal! No egg at all

[leginten]

Seems a long time ago. Wonder what the outcome would have been if PK hadn't been stupid enough to get himself sent off.

[alwaysthereinspirit]

That might be some of the worst commentary I've heard in ages. For any sport.

[GaryWood34]

Feyenoord and Schalke eh..

 

Ah ... Memories.

[Sexton Hardcastle]

Feyenoord and Schalke eh..

 

Ah ... Memories.

 

[media]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zvx6U89Ciik[/media]

 

How the **** was it not offside for the first goal?

 

Madness

[Gershwin]

The refs during that Europa League campaign were honkin'.

 

That Feyenoord game

[Gershwin]

[media]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zvx6U89Ciik[/media]

 

How the **** was it not offside for the first goal?

 

Madness

 

McKenna's goal!!! Twats.

 

And Bart 'Hoor'

[magicjohnston]

That commentary makes burley's words of wisdom in epsn sound amazing!!! Horrendous.

[The Great Khali]

the moose' disallowed goal

[WavyGravy]

Been to some shiteholes in my time but Rotterdam takes the biscuit.

[Gregory House M.D.]

10 days time it'll be nine years since The Tackles winner vs Basel.

[hearts151]

 

 

[media]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zvx6U89Ciik[/media]

 

How the **** was it not offside for the first goal?

 

Madness

 

Outrageous really. Almost as raj and godsajambos buses to Rotterdam haha. Ahh the memories. Trying to start on our driver because our driver said we'd been great and nothing wrong with us as their had been a raucous on the other bus haha.

[Sexton Hardcastle]

 

 

Outrageous really. Almost as raj and godsajambos buses to Rotterdam haha. Ahh the memories. Trying to start on our driver because our driver said we'd been great and nothing wrong with us as their had been a raucous on the other bus haha.

 

Almost turned the bus around at Dover iirc.

 

Some trip.

[hearts151]

 

 

Almost turned the bus around at Dover iirc.

 

Some trip.

 

I Know lol. Makes a good story I suppose haha

[hearts151]

 

 

I Know lol. Makes a good story I suppose haha

 

Almost as good as the guy who was on our bus but wasn't getting it back as he needed to get back for Work quicker than the bus would (or to London or something) managed to still get back later after passing out on the train and missing his connecting train in Paris waking up in Madrid

[shaun.lawson]

That might be some of the worst commentary I've heard in ages. For any sport.

 

One thing about this. I would agree - but it is hellishly difficult. Unbelievably difficult. I invite anyone on here to try it sometime: try commentating on a match featuring teams you know nothing about, and players you know nothing about.

 

In this case, given it was highlights he was commentating over, I'm surprised he hadn't put together a script first - but then again, maybe this was the first time he'd seen the footage, ie. he had to provide commentary at the end of a live match he'd been doing elsewhere or something? In which case, well...

 

Only a tiny number of people anywhere can be really good commentators. We all think we can do it - but trust me, we can't.

[colinmaroon]

That might be some of the worst commentary I've heard in ages. For any sport.

 

 

True - and that is really saying something!

 

I think his TeasMaid must have gone off just before the goal and distracted him.

[neave]

I remember when Ian McCall tried to blame CG for conceding an Andrea Pirlo free kick that went right in the top bag against Scotland.

 

I didn't really bother about Scotland conceding but such a no-mark spouting utter nonsense against a Hearts player filled me with rage.

 

Mind when he let a throw in go straight in against Livingston at Tynie? He knew the rules and made a very intelligent snapshop decision. My worry was whether the ref knew the rules as well as CG did.

[HMFC 86]

That might be some of the worst commentary I've heard in ages. For any sport.

 

Who is that erse of a commentator anyway?

[:shitwine:]

10 days time it'll be nine years since The Tackles winner vs Basel.

 

Don't say that - it reminds me that I'm getting old

 

That was a trip and a half...

[Guest Bilel Mohsni]

 

 

One thing about this. I would agree - but it is hellishly difficult. Unbelievably difficult. I invite anyone on here to try it sometime: try commentating on a match featuring teams you know nothing about, and players you know nothing about.

 

In this case, given it was highlights he was commentating over, I'm surprised he hadn't put together a script first - but then again, maybe this was the first time he'd seen the footage, ie. he had to provide commentary at the end of a live match he'd been doing elsewhere or something? In which case, well...

 

Only a tiny number of people anywhere can be really good commentators. We all think we can do it - but trust me, we can't.

 

Doubt we all think we can do it, to be honest...

 

However, these guys are doing it as a career, and so if they are no very good at some things, or don't know much about certain areas, they would be best just not getting overly sided on those issues, no?

[Tommy Brown]

Changing th subject to Schalke. I thought they were the best away support I have ever seen at Hearts game, by a country mile.

Big in numbers, big in colour and a right noisy non-stop bunch.

None of the pissy ultras garbage, everybody as one.

[Lord Beni of Gorgie]

A rare mistake from Golden Gloves I would have said. Played out of his skin in the next Murrayfield match v Csaba

[shaun.lawson]

Doubt we all think we can do it, to be honest...

 

However, these guys are doing it as a career, and so if they are no very good at some things, or don't know much about certain areas, they would be best just not getting overly sided on those issues, no?

 

Ha - in his case, I think it was more a case of just filling up space with any old thing to say, basically. That's what happens with a lot of inexperienced commentators.

 

3 weeks ago here, a friend introduced me to someone she'd just met: a British commentator of 6 years, who'd just arrived in Uruguay after landing a full time job, covering club matches all over South America out of a studio in Montevideo. So we had lunch, and he said: "Shaun - ever wondered what it's like? Come to our studio, see for yourself, and give it a try".

 

So I did - and aaaarrrrrgggggghhhhhhh........ I had to commentate for 45 minutes over a video of Hannover v Augsburg from September. And it was absolute hell on earth. I called incidents wrongly, at one point I called Hannover "Hamburg" , I could barely make out several of the players.

 

He listened throughout on a headset next door - then at the end, he came back in. A fairly comical exchange ensued.

 

Me (cringing with embarrassment): "Be honest. You've never had someone as bad as me, have you?"

 

Him (looking bewildered): "Eh? You're the best first time commentator we've ever had!"

 

Me: "Are you mad? I suck!"

 

Him: "No you absolutely don't. You're good. We want you!"

 

Me: "What???"

 

So it was that they offered me a job doing this for a living - well, at weekends to begin with, but with a view to plenty more when I've got a bit of experience under my belt. I told them I'd think about it, have been reflecting on it ever since, but of course I'm going to give it a go.

 

However, under no circumstances whatsoever will I be revealing the name of the company, what games I'll be doing, or which websites you'll be able to find me doing it on: not until I'm actually happy with the job I'm doing. Because between now and then, I'll be on the learning curve to end all learning curves - and if they heard me at this stage, any member of the public would think I was an absolute joke. Anyone at all.

 

The difference between them and him? He knows it's always like this first time out. Preparation - hours and hours and hours of it - is key basically.

[Guest Bilel Mohsni]

 

 

Ha - in his case, I think it was more a case of just filling up space with any old thing to say, basically. That's what happens with a lot of inexperienced commentators.

 

3 weeks ago here, a friend introduced me to someone she'd just met: a British commentator of 6 years, who'd just arrived in Uruguay after landing a full time job, covering club matches all over South America out of a studio in Montevideo. So we had lunch, and he said: "Shaun - ever wondered what it's like? Come to our studio, see for yourself, and give it a try".

 

So I did - and aaaarrrrrgggggghhhhhhh........ I had to commentate for 45 minutes over a video of Hannover v Augsburg from September. And it was absolute hell on earth. I called incidents wrongly, at one point I called Hannover "Hamburg" , I could barely make out several of the players.

 

He listened throughout on a headset next door - then at the end, he came back in. A fairly comical exchange ensued.

 

Me (cringing with embarrassment): "Be honest. You've never had someone as bad as me, have you?"

 

Him (looking bewildered): "Eh? You're the best first time commentator we've ever had!"

 

Me: "Are you mad? I suck!"

 

Him: "No you absolutely don't. You're good. We want you!"

 

Me: "What???"

 

So it was that they offered me a job doing this for a living - well, at weekends to begin with, but with a view to plenty more when I've got a bit of experience under my belt. I told them I'd think about it, have been reflecting on it ever since, but of course I'm going to give it a go.

 

However, under no circumstances whatsoever will I be revealing the name of the company, what games I'll be doing, or which websites you'll be able to find me doing it on: not until I'm actually happy with the job I'm doing. Because between now and then, I'll be on the learning curve to end all learning curves - and if they heard me at this stage, any member of the public would think I was an absolute joke. Anyone at all.

 

The difference between them and him? He knows it's always like this first time out. Preparation - hours and hours and hours of it - is key basically.

 

I'd be a shite commentator, I'd sound like a male Sara Cox, I'd just get all sidetracked about other things and start rambling.

 

To be fair, you would always make a better written word reporter than a live on air pundit, mate. No offence, but your voice at increased tempo and volume during a football match would get right on my tits!

[shaun.lawson]

I'd be a shite commentator, I'd sound like a male Sara Cox, I'd just get all sidetracked about other things and start rambling.

 

To be fair, you would always make a better written word reporter than a live on air pundit, mate. No offence, but your voice at increased tempo and volume during a football match would get right on my tits!

 

I actually told him I could see myself as a summariser of some sort. But as a commentator? Reacting to events split second, as they happen? I'm having a very, very, very hard time indeed seeing myself as that. But hey ho, we'll see.

 

And get this: he LIKED my changes in voice tone. Even told me I was a natural. I do see things much the way you do regarding that, so was once more left rather confuddled.

[Gigolo-Aunt]

One thing about this. I would agree - but it is hellishly difficult. Unbelievably difficult. I invite anyone on here to try it sometime: try commentating on a match featuring teams you know nothing about, and players you know nothing about.

 

In this case, given it was highlights he was commentating over, I'm surprised he hadn't put together a script first - but then again, maybe this was the first time he'd seen the footage, ie. he had to provide commentary at the end of a live match he'd been doing elsewhere or something? In which case, well...

 

Only a tiny number of people anywhere can be really good commentators. We all think we can do it - but trust me, we can't.

 

It being "hellishly difficult" is not a green light to talk absolute bollocks.

[shaun.lawson]

It being "hellishly difficult" is not a green light to talk absolute bollocks.

 

That's how I see it too. The guy who interviewed me liked that, so desperate was I not to talk absolute bollocks, I (believe it or not) shut up for significant periods, and let the pictures do the talking instead.

 

But... I don't think that option was open to the guy who did the Hearts-Schalke highlights. It's a LOT harder to stay quiet when it's a highlights reel like that that you're doing, I think.

[Guest Bilel Mohsni]

 

 

I actually told him I could see myself as a summariser of some sort. But as a commentator? Reacting to events split second, as they happen? I'm having a very, very, very hard time indeed seeing myself as that. But hey ho, we'll see.

 

And get this: he LIKED my changes in voice tone. Even told me I was a natural. I do see things much the way you do regarding that, so was once more left rather confuddled.

 

Crikey. If you get a chance to do it, then **** it, do it and give it your best shot.

 

As for me, I'll no be looking forward to any Uruguayan streams of football matches over the old interweb!

[shaun.lawson]

Crikey. If you get a chance to do it, then **** it, do it and give it your best shot. :thumbs up:

 

As for me, I'll no be looking forward to any Uruguayan streams of football matches over the old interweb!

 

 

At some point, 6 months or so from now, I'll let people know where on the web I can be found. And will then plead with them on pain of death NOT to tune in.

[Lord Beni of Gorgie]

I tried horse racing commentating once at an exhibition at the Cheltenham Festival. Would be my dream job, but I would be no use. You have to think about the event, tell a story of what is happening, add context and have remarkable timing. Sports commentators are gifted gobshites! Jealous as hell

[Darren]

Really surprised Shaun isn't telling us where we can find his commentary.

[Poseidon]

Bart Goor never watched the ball go in the back of the net. Ballsy. Not sure I was ever confident enough not to watch it go in, just in case. I guess I never had thousands of fans to run to to lap up the applause though.