i8hibsh Posted April 29, 2008 Share Posted April 29, 2008 Any funny stories of when a guy has done something to his girlfriend like tell a lie to do something naughty?Or indeed a girl doing likewise to their felly Here is an example............... Please note I have changed names,venues etc to protect the people (they are not on JKB but not fair to use any real names or scenarios) A guy I used to work with was seeing a wee girl behind his missus back and he had her coming round to his(his and hers) flat one night so he got me to phone up his girlfriend and pretend to be a potential buyer of her flat (she was seeling her flat in Dundee). I arranged to go and view the property at night so it would mean her driving through to Dundee to meet me. So she drove all the way through (from Edinburgh) to Dundee to meet 'me'. Obviously I was not there and my mate got a free house for a good few hours Obviously I feel really bad about this:evilno: and not something to be proud of but the story is hilarious How much of barsteward can a guy be? Reckon women are just as bad tho any more funnies? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Boris Posted April 29, 2008 Share Posted April 29, 2008 Would've been even more hilarious if the lassie on the wild goose chase to Dundee had crashed her car or something! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gavsy Van Gaverson Posted April 29, 2008 Share Posted April 29, 2008 Any funny stories of when a guy has done something to his girlfriend like tell a lie to do something naughty?Or indeed a girl doing likewise to their felly Here is an example............... Please note I have changed names,venues etc to protect the people (they are not on JKB but not fair to use any real names or scenarios) A guy I used to work with was seeing a wee girl behind his missus back and he had her coming round to his(his and hers) flat one night so he got me to phone up his girlfriend and pretend to be a potential buyer of her flat (she was seeling her flat in Dundee). I arranged to go and view the property at night so it would mean her driving through to Dundee to meet me. So she drove all the way through (from Edinburgh) to Dundee to meet 'me'. Obviously I was not there and my mate got a free house for a good few hours Obviously I feel really bad about this:evilno: and not something to be proud of but the story is hilarious How much of barsteward can a guy be? Reckon women are just as bad tho any more funnies? You are a truly great friend Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
alwaysthereinspirit Posted April 29, 2008 Share Posted April 29, 2008 Any funny stories of when a guy has done something to his girlfriend like tell a lie to do something naughty?Or indeed a girl doing likewise to their felly Here is an example............... Please note I have changed names,venues etc to protect the people (they are not on JKB but not fair to use any real names or scenarios) A guy I used to work with was seeing a wee girl behind his missus back and he had her coming round to his(his and hers) flat one night so he got me to phone up his girlfriend and pretend to be a potential buyer of her flat (she was seeling her flat in Dundee). I arranged to go and view the property at night so it would mean her driving through to Dundee to meet me. So she drove all the way through (from Edinburgh) to Dundee to meet 'me'. Obviously I was not there and my mate got a free house for a good few hours Obviously I feel really bad about this:evilno: and not something to be proud of but the story is hilarious How much of barsteward can a guy be? Reckon women are just as bad tho any more funnies? Your mates an idiot. You never $#!t where you sleep. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stewart MacD Posted April 29, 2008 Share Posted April 29, 2008 Your mates an idiot. You never $#!t where you sleep. Spot on. Golden Rule No.1. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jambovambo Posted April 29, 2008 Share Posted April 29, 2008 Any funny stories of when a guy has done something to his girlfriend like tell a lie to do something naughty?Or indeed a girl doing likewise to their felly Here is an example............... Please note I have changed names,venues etc to protect the people (they are not on JKB but not fair to use any real names or scenarios) A guy I used to work with was seeing a wee girl behind his missus back and he had her coming round to his(his and hers) flat one night so he got me to phone up his girlfriend and pretend to be a potential buyer of her flat (she was seeling her flat in Dundee). I arranged to go and view the property at night so it would mean her driving through to Dundee to meet me. So she drove all the way through (from Edinburgh) to Dundee to meet 'me'. Obviously I was not there and my mate got a free house for a good few hours Obviously I feel really bad about this:evilno: and not something to be proud of but the story is hilarious How much of barsteward can a guy be? Reckon women are just as bad tho any more funnies? Not funny. And I take it they are no longer together. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DavidRae Posted April 29, 2008 Share Posted April 29, 2008 One time I farted in the general direction of a girl. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
i8hibsh Posted April 29, 2008 Author Share Posted April 29, 2008 Not funny. And I take it they are no longer together. They are very much together Are you female or male? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
i8hibsh Posted April 29, 2008 Author Share Posted April 29, 2008 Spot on. Golden Rule No.1. Yup that is a major rule she has a boyfriend also so make sit safer for both Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Old Tolbooth Posted April 29, 2008 Share Posted April 29, 2008 Posted this on here before but it was on the old forum. An ex I was with over 3 years ago had plans for me over xmas and new year, she wanted me to spend xmas eve, xmas day, and boxing day with her mum and dad (sod that for a game of soldiers I thought) and had told them we were colming without consulting me. Hearts were playing Celtic on boxing day and I had my own agenda for that day, so after a gruelling xmas eve, and xmas day, I faked illness and pretended I couldn't move in bed and had sickness (I even pretended to chuck up by making fake noises in the bathroom). She took great pity on me and said that I didn't have to go to her brothers (with all the outlaws) if I didn't want to, so I said that even although I was feeling hellish (fnaar fnaar), that I would take them up to Stow (big brownie points to be had and it was on the way to Tynie anyway). I dropped the outlaws at her brothers, and then drove off heading back to Gala, got out of sight, and did a U turn and headed to the game (we were humped 2-0 I think). On the way back I stopped the car and called her to say that I had had a sleep and was feeling a bit better and if they wanted a lift home (more brownie points) that I would pop up from Gala and get them (it was on the way home anyway from Tynie), which I did. Her family thought I was wonderful for doing this and the praise was coming from all angles, as I still pretended to be ill and made it look like I'd done them a favour. They thought I was wonderful for another month at least anyway, because that's when I dumped the gold digging, controlling, nutcase of a freak, and got some life back Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Old Tolbooth Posted April 29, 2008 Share Posted April 29, 2008 Any funny stories of when a guy has done something to his girlfriend like tell a lie to do something naughty?Or indeed a girl doing likewise to their felly Here is an example............... Please note I have changed names,venues etc to protect the people (they are not on JKB but not fair to use any real names or scenarios) A guy I used to work with was seeing a wee girl behind his missus back and he had her coming round to his(his and hers) flat one night so he got me to phone up his girlfriend and pretend to be a potential buyer of her flat (she was seeling her flat in Dundee). I arranged to go and view the property at night so it would mean her driving through to Dundee to meet me. So she drove all the way through (from Edinburgh) to Dundee to meet 'me'. Obviously I was not there and my mate got a free house for a good few hours Obviously I feel really bad about this:evilno: and not something to be proud of but the story is hilarious How much of barsteward can a guy be? Reckon women are just as bad tho any more funnies? After what SUSS told me last night, I'm now wondering if your Coppercrutch in disguise Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
i8hibsh Posted April 29, 2008 Author Share Posted April 29, 2008 Posted this on here before but it was on the old forum. An ex I was with over 3 years ago had plans for me over xmas and new year, she wanted me to spend xmas eve, xmas day, and boxing day with her mum and dad (sod that for a game of soldiers I thought) and had told them we were colming without consulting me. Hearts were playing Celtic on boxing day and I had my own agenda for that day, so after a gruelling xmas eve, and xmas day, I faked illness and pretended I couldn't move in bed and had sickness (I even pretended to chuck up by making fake noises in the bathroom). She took great pity on me and said that I didn't have to go to her brothers (with all the outlaws) if I didn't want to, so I said that even although I was feeling hellish (fnaar fnaar), that I would take them up to Stow (big brownie points to be had and it was on the way to Tynie anyway). I dropped the outlaws at her brothers, and then drove off heading back to Gala, got out of sight, and did a U turn and headed to the game (we were humped 2-0 I think). On the way back I stopped the car and called her to say that I had had a sleep and was feeling a bit better and if they wanted a lift home (more brownie points) that I would pop up from Gala and get them (it was on the way home anyway from Tynie), which I did. Her family thought I was wonderful for doing this and the praise was coming from all angles, as I still pretended to be ill and made it look like I'd done them a favour. They thought I was wonderful for another month at least anyway, because that's when I dumped the gold digging, controlling, nutcase of a freak, and got some life back hahaha respect to you JM the funniest thing is lying is so easy when it comes to women. They swallow anything (steady now) trouble is you then have to tell another lie to back up your previous one and before long - your life is one big lie Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
i8hibsh Posted April 29, 2008 Author Share Posted April 29, 2008 After what SUSS told me last night, I'm now wondering if your Coppercrutch in disguise mods mods mods!! Personal insult by johnmitchell! infracture coming your way lol and if it was a disguise it would have to be a very very ginger one to pass as him Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
K1874M Posted April 29, 2008 Share Posted April 29, 2008 They are very much togetherAre you female or male? You should have turned up told your mates bird the story then proceeded to pump her till the smell got too much, video'd it then sent it to your mate explaining you didnt think he'd be bothered since he was banging the other bird. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Don Juan Posted April 29, 2008 Share Posted April 29, 2008 pump her till the smell got too much, Lol, belter, my tea nearly got spat out over the monitor after reading that! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
savage Posted April 29, 2008 Share Posted April 29, 2008 You should have turned up told your mates bird the story then proceeded to pump her till the smell got too much, video'd it then sent it to your mate explaining you didnt think he'd be bothered since he was banging the other bird. exactly what i was thinking Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Old Tolbooth Posted April 29, 2008 Share Posted April 29, 2008 mods mods mods!! Personal insult by johnmitchell! infracture coming your way lol and if it was a disguise it would have to be a very very ginger one to pass as him An infraction I can handle mate, an infracture sounds fekkin painful!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Old Tolbooth Posted April 29, 2008 Share Posted April 29, 2008 You should have turned up told your mates bird the story then proceeded to pump her till the smell got too much, video'd it then sent it to your mate explaining you didnt think he'd be bothered since he was banging the other bird. :rofl::rofl: Absolute quality mate!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
conn artist Posted April 29, 2008 Share Posted April 29, 2008 a mate of my mate has a little problem with wetting the bed when he has had a little too much to drink sometimes. on more than one occasion he has wet the bed when he was not alone, to cover his tracks he roles the poor unsespecting girl in to the wet patch waits for her to wake up initlally acts angry that she could do such a thing then proceeds to be all nicey nicey to her to make her feel better about the whole embarassing episode. which is both twisted and genius at the same time! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
K1874M Posted April 29, 2008 Share Posted April 29, 2008 :rofl::rofl: Absolute quality mate!!! You know it... the sour smell of sex. For maximum effect, keep windows closed amnd heating on! takes days to clear. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Old Tolbooth Posted April 29, 2008 Share Posted April 29, 2008 You know it... the sour smell of sex. For maximum effect, keep windows closed amnd heating on! takes days to clear. I thought it was a rather nice smell too Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
i8hibsh Posted April 29, 2008 Author Share Posted April 29, 2008 An infraction I can handle mate, an infracture sounds fekkin painful!!! doh! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Archived
This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.