Jambojohnnyboy Posted April 27, 2008 Share Posted April 27, 2008 ....when meeting someone for the 1st time or on a 1st date. We had a good laugh on the thread about things not to say following the deed. So let's see if we can improve on that....... 'I'm sure I recognise the back of your head' Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chester copperpot Posted April 27, 2008 Share Posted April 27, 2008 ....when meeting someone for the 1st time or on a 1st date. We had a good laugh on the thread about things not to say following the deed. So let's see if we can improve on that....... 'I'm sure I recognise the back of your head' Once told a lass who I was trying to fire into 'I've pumped one of your mates' Still got in in the end though. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Doctor FinnBarr Posted April 27, 2008 Share Posted April 27, 2008 Do ypu swallow???? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
no1jambo_ic Posted April 27, 2008 Share Posted April 27, 2008 you look just like your mum Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Malcolm Tucker Posted April 27, 2008 Share Posted April 27, 2008 "First things first, how much is this gonna cost?" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wattie Posted April 27, 2008 Share Posted April 27, 2008 A pal of mine, on his first date with his (somehow) current girlfriend: She arrived at the bar, where he had been waiting, almost finished his first pint. Pleasantries exchanged, she sits down, looking a bit awkward. Finally says "I'll get my own drink then shall I?" to which my mate replies "get me one whilst you're up". For about the first five or six dates I heard a new story just like that one, each time. The guy's a toley and a hero at the same time! For example, a few dates in he says: "You're not the best looking girl I've ever been out with, but you are one of the nicest". Legend. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BigC Posted April 27, 2008 Share Posted April 27, 2008 My mate told a girl that he had a yacht moored in the Firth of Forth, and she could come back to it if she wanted, but they'd have to wait a couple of hours because his helicopter pilot couldn't find Edinburgh...... While they were waiting for his helicopter to arrive, he pumped her in Princes St. Gardens. (He was actually on the phone to me shouting at me for not being able to find Edinburgh - I had no idea what was going on until he told me the story the next day). Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Walter Payton Posted April 28, 2008 Share Posted April 28, 2008 Remember a first date with one of my ex's a few years ago- We were out for dinner doing the usual small talk stuff and laughing at each others jokes no matter how unfunny they were, but Mandy kept on stifling a cough into her napkin. I didn't say anything the first few times, but after about the 8th or 9th time I made a wee joke like "Smokers cough eh? Need to cut back on those 40 a day" to which I got a polite, if not a bit awkward, wee laugh... Didn't think anything more of it though (despite her continuing to cough every so often throughout the meal) until later on when she was, well, thanking me for a nice night. I've got a bad habit of making cheeky wee comments at the wrong time, but realised I'd really stuck my foot in it when Mandy burst into tears after I said "What did you have to eat again? Must have been really salty, I'm still tasting it!". Turns out the girl had Cystic Fibrosis and was really awkward about telling people... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jamboinglasgow Posted April 28, 2008 Share Posted April 28, 2008 My mate had a date a few months ago, he had hit it off with a girl at charity speed dating we both went to. So he got really psyched up for the date, but slipped back into the flat about 11 o'clock. Would not say what went wrong until the next morning. Turned out they got speaking about T in the Park which he had gone into and said the line "what was annoying was the idiotic drug users that were everywhere." To which she replyed that she takes drugs a few times. There then followed and awkard silence and the realisation that it was not going to work. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ribble Posted April 28, 2008 Share Posted April 28, 2008 Was out with my mate on saturday night and we were outside the pub having a fag when this stunning blonde girl came over and asked for a light. My mate gave her a light and started chatting her up, I was thinking to myself that she was miles out of his league but to my surprise she was lapping it up and next thing kissed him. Couldn't believe he had managed to pull her but then he say's 'Tell you what hen, when we get back to mine the first thing you are doing is getting rid of that f****** stupid piercing in your lip!!' she just replied 'bye' and walked away !!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Heres Rixxy Posted April 28, 2008 Share Posted April 28, 2008 A pal of mine, on his first date with his (somehow) current girlfriend: She arrived at the bar, where he had been waiting, almost finished his first pint. Pleasantries exchanged, she sits down, looking a bit awkward. Finally says "I'll get my own drink then shall I?" to which my mate replies "get me one whilst you're up". For about the first five or six dates I heard a new story just like that one, each time. The guy's a toley and a hero at the same time! For example, a few dates in he says: "You're not the best looking girl I've ever been out with, but you are one of the nicest". Legend. Haha, that is top blokeness from your mate Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Malcolm Tucker Posted April 28, 2008 Share Posted April 28, 2008 My mate told a girl that he had a yacht moored in the Firth of Forth, and she could come back to it if she wanted, but they'd have to wait a couple of hours because his helicopter pilot couldn't find Edinburgh...... While they were waiting for his helicopter to arrive, he pumped her in Princes St. Gardens. (He was actually on the phone to me shouting at me for not being able to find Edinburgh - I had no idea what was going on until he told me the story the next day). Haha, that's quality! One of the first times I have geniunely laughed while on KB. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rudi must stay Posted April 28, 2008 Share Posted April 28, 2008 'what time is it?' just shows you're bored Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gavsy Van Gaverson Posted April 28, 2008 Share Posted April 28, 2008 My mate had a date a few months ago, he had hit it off with a girl at charity speed dating we both went to. So he got really psyched up for the date, but slipped back into the flat about 11 o'clock. Would not say what went wrong until the next morning. Turned out they got speaking about T in the Park which he had gone into and said the line "what was annoying was the idiotic drug users that were everywhere." To which she replyed that she takes drugs a few times. There then followed and awkard silence and the realisation that it was not going to work. I'm with the girl on this one. If you go to TITP (or any similar festival) you've got to expect a large percentage of folk to be on something. She's better off without your mate Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jamboinglasgow Posted April 28, 2008 Share Posted April 28, 2008 I'm with the girl on this one. If you go to TITP (or any similar festival) you've got to expect a large percentage of folk to be on something. She's better off without your mate I mate is no idiot, he knows they are there just was a comment as they annoyed him. Though if she is high on drugs so often think she will be happy enough with the pink dragon that she is chasing after. Though he is a Rangers fan so maybe she is better without him;) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lewis2006 Posted April 28, 2008 Share Posted April 28, 2008 Was out with my mate on saturday night and we were outside the pub having a fag when this stunning blonde girl came over and asked for a light. My mate gave her a light and started chatting her up, I was thinking to myself that she was miles out of his league but to my surprise she was lapping it up and next thing kissed him. Couldn't believe he had managed to pull her but then he say's 'Tell you what hen, when we get back to mine the first thing you are doing is getting rid of that f****** stupid piercing in your lip!!' she just replied 'bye' and walked away !!!! Your mate must be an idiot...lip piercings have SO many uses!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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