Squirt Posted August 15, 2012 Share Posted August 15, 2012 So boys and girls got a wee personal dilemma (maybe that's not the right word) going on here. My wee brother is 17, his girlfriend is 16, 17 next month. Now if you read the thread topic I'm sure you have deduced where this is going. The wee tit has gone and got her knocked up. So he tells me and, initially, I'm a very unhappy boy. He has the bruises to prove it. But after calming down a wee bit and promising not to tell the parents. I've got to thinking. Will this ruin his life? They were in a relationship 2 and a half years, broke up, decided to work on it, then discover she's pregnant. Now they are both pretty responsible (Don't use this as an example obviously) used birth control (that wee thing in her arm) and I suppose they were just that 1% that are unlucky with it. My brother has a good job, he works with me for my Dad's company. Only 17 and he's on about ?9K a year. And after having left school at 16 with less qualifications than Paris Hilton I reckon that's alright. He's a good lad. Letting her decide what to do (keeping it or not) because he says it's her who has to deal with the pain of it all. But he's promised that whatever she decides he'll be there the whole time, before during and after. And he will be, because it's the type of kid he is. I just wanted some advice from anyone who maybe has a family member who this has happened to? Or maybe has gone through it themselves? Is he up **** creek without a paddle? Or could it be ok? I know all of the social stereotypes about kids with weans. But both me and my brother come from a great family. Parents still together, own their own business etc etc. In other words we were both born with silver spoons in are mouths. IMO even though this is a life changing thing that they are in no way ready for by a long shot, I do think that there are cases where it doesn't all go tits up. So what do you guys think? My opinion is he's an absolute jackass for letting this happen in the first place, he isn't ready, and it's going to be a very rocking road once my parents inevitably find out. But I do think that if his girl decides to keep it.They can be happy and get on with their lives. Just because their young doesn't mean they can't be good parents right? Just because their young doesn't mean they are now ****ed for life because of this? Or am I dreaming and hoping for the best? If you got through all of that I applaud you. Any thoughts are welcome and feel free to make jokes, that's how i've been handling it anyway! Really just needed to vent to a keyboard since my other half has told me she has heard enough of it and i've to leave it alone and wait to see what happens. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tazio Posted August 15, 2012 Share Posted August 15, 2012 Which part of the dilemma is underage? They were both above the age of consent. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Squirt Posted August 15, 2012 Author Share Posted August 15, 2012 Which part of the dilemma is underage? They were both above the age of consent. Your right actually. My mistake. Guess I still see the wee bawbag as a child. I'm sure the problem is still understandable, living at home, 17 with a wean on the way? Not an ideal situation? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mr Orange Posted August 15, 2012 Share Posted August 15, 2012 Don't think i would want to be raising a kid on only 9k a year that must be about minimum wage. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chuck1874 Posted August 15, 2012 Share Posted August 15, 2012 Support the boy mate hes working whuch is a good thing and tbh a baby could be the making of him to grow up and be mature and also hold resposibility. You do however need to tell your parents asap because they will go ape at first but will calm down and support your brother through thick and thin. If it doesnt work out with his other advise him to go down the legal route. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
IronJambo Posted August 15, 2012 Share Posted August 15, 2012 It's harsh but it's the way it goes. My ex was 19 when I met her and she'd had an abortion when she was 16 with the only people knowing about it being her best mate, her boyfriend at the time and his parents. I don't think her mum knows to this day. Thing is, it stayed with her for long long time. If she gets rid she better be aware that there's a good chance it's going to be upsetting her for a good few year to come. Whatever they do it'll be the right thing for them, there's no right or wrong in how they deal with it. Encourage them to speak to both their parents about it though, as it'll help them both. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tiberius Stinkfinger Posted August 15, 2012 Share Posted August 15, 2012 Cast the pair of them into the wilderness and never let them darken your door ever again. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mullen13 Posted August 15, 2012 Share Posted August 15, 2012 Your parents are gonna find out eventually so he's gonna have to come clean. They definitely keeping it? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest C00l K1d Posted August 15, 2012 Share Posted August 15, 2012 Could stop him going places tbh. I wouldn't have done half the things i've done in the past year or so with a bairn. Everyone will deal with it in different ways. I'm only a year older than him and no fecking way would i be able to cope with a kid. Her choice and all that, but i'd be telling her that in my opinion it'd be beneficial for everyone to have a termination. The lassies only 16 ffs, if they're both sensible as you say i'm sure they'll do the right thing. Both got futures to think about. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dean Winchester Posted August 15, 2012 Share Posted August 15, 2012 JKB advice would generally be to get her pumped. But it seems he's already done that. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Squirt Posted August 15, 2012 Author Share Posted August 15, 2012 Support the boy mate hes working whuch is a good thing and tbh a baby could be the making of him to grow up and be mature and also hold resposibility. You do however need to tell your parents asap because they will go ape at first but will calm down and support your brother through thick and thin. If it doesnt work out with his other advise him to go down the legal route. This is the approach I take really, I mean when I was 17 I was on 9k a year, 18 now and I'm on ?32K, this really is because my parents make a lot of money, and the reason he's on peanuts the now is my dad would sack either of us in a heart beat if we're not good enough. He's been in the job 6 months. Once he's been here a year it goes up, another 6 months it goes up again. Kinda like a break in period. And I do think that it could make him grow up, because let's face it what choice does he have? [deleted] Yes hitting him won't help but I'm his brother. He spent his entire childhood getting beaten black and blue by me. So he's used to it Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ray Gin Posted August 15, 2012 Share Posted August 15, 2012 Unless she's up for having an abortion and they can get away with keeping it a secret, then he should tell your parents ASAP. The longer he waits the worse their reaction will get. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RussAsia Posted August 15, 2012 Share Posted August 15, 2012 I have been down this road a couple of times.. once when i was about 18/19 and the other time when i was about 21/22.. Both times i left it up to the girl to decide but at the same time explaining that I didn't see us having a long term relationship.. Both times i thought i was careful.. the first time i used a johnny so not sure what happened there and the 2nd time she was on the pill or so she said.. I am happy both girls got an abortion.. i was in no way shape or form ready to have a kid... i had a decent job both times and could have afforded it just but it would have limited the things i wanted to do in my life.. travel etc.. When i was 29 i finally had my first kid who is now 2.. Looking back i think it was a good time to have a kid, however even then if i could go back i might have postponed it for another year until i was 30.. I dont understand the people that say tell your parents first.. mine dont know about either of mine.. thats the way it will stay.. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Captain Price Posted August 15, 2012 Share Posted August 15, 2012 Always wear your wellies when you go swimming. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
moogsy Posted August 15, 2012 Share Posted August 15, 2012 you leathered him when you found out? Great example to set. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Squirt Posted August 15, 2012 Author Share Posted August 15, 2012 you leathered him when you found out? Great example to set. Not leathered. He sat me down, told me. Then because I was lost for words I turned to him, looked him in the eye. And gave him a wee right jab in the arm before having a few pints at the pub, then went back and had a real talk with him and my girlfriend. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Generic Username Posted August 15, 2012 Share Posted August 15, 2012 At least you know your wee brother isn't a bent shot. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mcdougg Posted August 15, 2012 Share Posted August 15, 2012 Nothing wrong with having kids at that age, provided you can become good parents. I have my first when I was 16. I wouldn't change her for the world. it's all dependant on the acutal person though. You need to do alot of growing up & quickly. Good luck to them I say. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Squirt Posted August 15, 2012 Author Share Posted August 15, 2012 At least you know your wee brother isn't a bent shot. [deleted] 2 nominations for quote of the day? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
johnny-r Posted August 15, 2012 Share Posted August 15, 2012 One of my mates was in a very similar situation when he was 18, no qualiications, in an on off relationship with a girl, and within a week of getting back together, she was pregnant. At first, he was absolutely terrified obviously, but after 2 years he says it's the best thing that ever happened to him. They are still together and something as huge as this has definitely been difficult but brought them together. The main reason I wanted to post though was because of your doubts about whether it will ruin his life. My mate is now at uni, with the full support of his girlfriend to try and make something for them both. She has just also taken over a pretty successful but small scale business with the help of a bit of investment from her parents, and is now running it full time. It's difficult for them to fit all of this in around being a parent, and there are some days where it gets close to too much, but it doesn't stop them from being there for the kid almost all day every day as well. The point being really that this is an example of the fact that although it will be a struggle and he wont necessarily have the life he pictured for a while, it doesn't have to stop either of them still achieving things if they sacrifice other things here and there. Not a lot worth doing that's ever going to be a walk in the park. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Generic Username Posted August 15, 2012 Share Posted August 15, 2012 Here's how to determine if your brother is going to be up to the job of being a parent or not. Tell him that now his girlfriend is pregnant they can't sleep together again as it is legally considered child abuse because his boabby could touch the babies head. If he believes you - he's an idiot & it's off to the Dyson showroom they go. If he knows you're pulling his leg then he's alright. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hansel Posted August 15, 2012 Share Posted August 15, 2012 This is the approach I take really, I mean when I was 17 I was on 9k a year, 18 now and I'm on ?32K, this really is because my parents make a lot of money, and the reason he's on peanuts the now is my dad would sack either of us in a heart beat if we're not good enough. Wait.......you're 18 and earning ?32K per year? Is this the real reason why you started this thread? To have a wee boast? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mcdougg Posted August 15, 2012 Share Posted August 15, 2012 So boys and girls got a wee personal dilemma (maybe that's not the right word) going on here. My wee brother is 17, his girlfriend is 16, 17 next month. Now if you read the thread topic I'm sure you have deduced where this is going. The wee tit has gone and got her knocked up. So he tells me and, initially, I'm a very unhappy boy. He has the bruises to prove it. But after calming down a wee bit and promising not to tell the parents. I've got to thinking. Will this ruin his life? They were in a relationship 2 and a half years, broke up, decided to work on it, then discover she's pregnant. Now they are both pretty responsible (Don't use this as an example obviously) used birth control (that wee thing in her arm) and I suppose they were just that 1% that are unlucky with it. My brother has a good job, he works with me for my Dad's company. Only 17 and he's on about ?9K a year. And after having left school at 16 with less qualifications than Paris Hilton I reckon that's alright. He's a good lad. Letting her decide what to do (keeping it or not) because he says it's her who has to deal with the pain of it all. But he's promised that whatever she decides he'll be there the whole time, before during and after. And he will be, because it's the type of kid he is. I just wanted some advice from anyone who maybe has a family member who this has happened to? Or maybe has gone through it themselves? Is he up **** creek without a paddle? Or could it be ok? I know all of the social stereotypes about kids with weans. But both me and my brother come from a great family. Parents still together, own their own business etc etc. In other words we were both born with silver spoons in are mouths. IMO even though this is a life changing thing that they are in no way ready for by a long shot, I do think that there are cases where it doesn't all go tits up. So what do you guys think? My opinion is he's an absolute jackass for letting this happen in the first place, he isn't ready, and it's going to be a very rocking road once my parents inevitably find out. But I do think that if his girl decides to keep it.They can be happy and get on with their lives. Just because their young doesn't mean they can't be good parents right? Just because their young doesn't mean they are now ****ed for life because of this? Or am I dreaming and hoping for the best? If you got through all of that I applaud you. Any thoughts are welcome and feel free to make jokes, that's how i've been handling it anyway! Really just needed to vent to a keyboard since my other half has told me she has heard enough of it and i've to leave it alone and wait to see what happens. This is irrelevant to making you a good parent. It's all about stepping up & providing your child with the bst possible start in life. Cutting out all the daft little things you done as a teenager & becoming a man. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Squirt Posted August 15, 2012 Author Share Posted August 15, 2012 Wait.......you're 18 and earning ?32K per year? Is this the real reason why you started this thread? To have a wee boast? Nothing to be proud of mate, like I said born with a silver spoon in my mouth. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Squirt Posted August 15, 2012 Author Share Posted August 15, 2012 One of my mates was in a very similar situation when he was 18, no qualiications, in an on off relationship with a girl, and within a week of getting back together, she was pregnant. At first, he was absolutely terrified obviously, but after 2 years he says it's the best thing that ever happened to him. They are still together and something as huge as this has definitely been difficult but brought them together. The main reason I wanted to post though was because of your doubts about whether it will ruin his life. My mate is now at uni, with the full support of his girlfriend to try and make something for them both. She has just also taken over a pretty successful but small scale business with the help of a bit of investment from her parents, and is now running it full time. It's difficult for them to fit all of this in around being a parent, and there are some days where it gets close to too much, but it doesn't stop them from being there for the kid almost all day every day as well. The point being really that this is an example of the fact that although it will be a struggle and he wont necessarily have the life he pictured for a while, it doesn't have to stop either of them still achieving things if they sacrifice other things here and there. Not a lot worth doing that's ever going to be a walk in the park. Great Post Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Generic Username Posted August 15, 2012 Share Posted August 15, 2012 Nothing to be proud of mate, like I said born with a silver spoon in my mouth. And a fifty pound note hanging oot yer arse Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mcdougg Posted August 15, 2012 Share Posted August 15, 2012 And a fifty pound note hanging oot yer arse Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest GhostHunter Posted August 15, 2012 Share Posted August 15, 2012 Again, some members outdo themselves with extremely poor taste posts. Expect to hear from the Moderators. Thread Closed. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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