The Brow Posted July 30, 2008 Share Posted July 30, 2008 I love bananas. I currently have a freaking huge one on my desk the now. Its at the golden stage where its completely yellow with just a hint of brown spotting. So the question is..... How do I go about eating it without looking like im starring in a gay porno? Suggestions welcome...... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
keith Posted July 30, 2008 Share Posted July 30, 2008 Suck on it like an ice-lolly. Best way IMO Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chester copperpot Posted July 30, 2008 Share Posted July 30, 2008 Get it Chomped!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Old Tolbooth Posted July 30, 2008 Share Posted July 30, 2008 I love bananas. I currently have a freaking huge one on my desk the now. Its at the golden stage where its completely yellow with just a hint of brown spotting. So the question is..... How do I go about eating it without looking like im starring in a gay porno? Suggestions welcome...... Are you male or female? I really shouldn't go there Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Helzibob Posted July 30, 2008 Share Posted July 30, 2008 Just wolf it down. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Brow Posted July 30, 2008 Author Share Posted July 30, 2008 Are you male or female? male! hence the problem. dont want to look like im re-enacting a scene from brokebank mountain. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
vegas-voss Posted July 30, 2008 Share Posted July 30, 2008 It's a banana for **** sake.The way your describing it it sounds like you want to suck it. As said before just get it chomped. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
keith Posted July 30, 2008 Share Posted July 30, 2008 Get some squirty cream involved!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sherlock Posted July 30, 2008 Share Posted July 30, 2008 Unclasp your sheath knife from it's scabbard amd slice inch thick portions to eaten from the knife blade. Once finished, clean your knife by wiping it slowly on your shirt sleeve. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
I P Knightley Posted July 30, 2008 Share Posted July 30, 2008 male! hence the problem. dont want to look like im re-enacting a scene from brokebank mountain. In that case, the correct procedure is: Start to peel away from you; don't pull the skin down towards you. Peel delicately and with your tongue sticking out the corner of your mouth. Don't blink while peeling. Jake Gyllenhaal would blink and keep his tongue in his mouth. While peeling, count out loud for each segment peeled. When you get to the 4th peel, giggle and say, "tee-hee - the 4th skin; gettit?" Once the banana's peeled, make sure that there are no unwanted bits on the sides by holding it as far from your mouth as you can while still being able to lick it. Lick it up and down 2 or 3 times on each 'side' all the way around. Hold the bottom of the banana in both hand and without lowering it, stretch your neck up to get your mouth over the top. Without biting, get the end of the banana as far into your mouth as you can. Bob your mouth up and down on it a few times to make sure it's suitably warm for consumption. To be a real man, the next bit is important. Try to get the banana to touch the back of your throat without you gagging. Try a few times and if it makes you gag, do so loudly. Only wimps and gay porno people gag quietly. When your eyes are running, and only then, (with your mascara running down your cheeks) should you bite slowly but assuredly into the banana. Job done. Weirdo. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Craig_ Posted July 30, 2008 Share Posted July 30, 2008 In that case, the correct procedure is: Start to peel away from you; don't pull the skin down towards you. Peel delicately and with your tongue sticking out the corner of your mouth. Don't blink while peeling. Jake Gyllenhaal would blink and keep his tongue in his mouth. While peeling, count out loud for each segment peeled. When you get to the 4th peel, giggle and say, "tee-hee - the 4th skin; gettit?" Once the banana's peeled, make sure that there are no unwanted bits on the sides by holding it as far from your mouth as you can while still being able to lick it. Lick it up and down 2 or 3 times on each 'side' all the way around. Hold the bottom of the banana in both hand and without lowering it, stretch your neck up to get your mouth over the top. Without biting, get the end of the banana as far into your mouth as you can. Bob your mouth up and down on it a few times to make sure it's suitably warm for consumption. To be a real man, the next bit is important. Try to get the banana to touch the back of your throat without you gagging. Try a few times and if it makes you gag, do so loudly. Only wimps and gay porno people gag quietly. When your eyes are running, and only then, (with your mascara running down your cheeks) should you bite slowly but assuredly into the banana. Job done. Weirdo. Christ on a bike! I'm never eating a banana again! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
keith Posted July 30, 2008 Share Posted July 30, 2008 In that case, the correct procedure is: Start to peel away from you; don't pull the skin down towards you. Peel delicately and with your tongue sticking out the corner of your mouth. Don't blink while peeling. Jake Gyllenhaal would blink and keep his tongue in his mouth. While peeling, count out loud for each segment peeled. When you get to the 4th peel, giggle and say, "tee-hee - the 4th skin; gettit?" Once the banana's peeled, make sure that there are no unwanted bits on the sides by holding it as far from your mouth as you can while still being able to lick it. Lick it up and down 2 or 3 times on each 'side' all the way around. Hold the bottom of the banana in both hand and without lowering it, stretch your neck up to get your mouth over the top. Without biting, get the end of the banana as far into your mouth as you can. Bob your mouth up and down on it a few times to make sure it's suitably warm for consumption. To be a real man, the next bit is important. Try to get the banana to touch the back of your throat without you gagging. Try a few times and if it makes you gag, do so loudly. Only wimps and gay porno people gag quietly. When your eyes are running, and only then, (with your mascara running down your cheeks) should you bite slowly but assuredly into the banana. Job done. Weirdo. Did you really spend 5 minutes of your life typing out instructions on how to give a banana a beej? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
I P Knightley Posted July 30, 2008 Share Posted July 30, 2008 Did you really spend 5 minutes of your life typing out instructions on how to give a banana a beej? When you put it like that.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sparky Posted July 30, 2008 Share Posted July 30, 2008 If you've not been put off bananas for life... With the banana lying on a table, peel the skin all the way down on one side. Snap the banana in half and eat from the broken half out towards the end. Repeat with other half. Preferably chomp it like you would a carrot (snapping it off) rather than a direct 'insertion'. That should allow you to eat the banana at a girlfriends house, on a building site or during dinner with the queen. Alternatively, find an overweight, balding gay friend and get him to hold it in his mouth while you take it in one. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wattie Posted July 30, 2008 Share Posted July 30, 2008 In that case, the correct procedure is: Start to peel away from you; don't pull the skin down towards you. Peel delicately and with your tongue sticking out the corner of your mouth. Don't blink while peeling. Jake Gyllenhaal would blink and keep his tongue in his mouth. While peeling, count out loud for each segment peeled. When you get to the 4th peel, giggle and say, "tee-hee - the 4th skin; gettit?" Once the banana's peeled, make sure that there are no unwanted bits on the sides by holding it as far from your mouth as you can while still being able to lick it. Lick it up and down 2 or 3 times on each 'side' all the way around. Hold the bottom of the banana in both hand and without lowering it, stretch your neck up to get your mouth over the top. Without biting, get the end of the banana as far into your mouth as you can. Bob your mouth up and down on it a few times to make sure it's suitably warm for consumption. To be a real man, the next bit is important. Try to get the banana to touch the back of your throat without you gagging. Try a few times and if it makes you gag, do so loudly. Only wimps and gay porno people gag quietly. When your eyes are running, and only then, (with your mascara running down your cheeks) should you bite slowly but assuredly into the banana. Job done. Weirdo. Is it wrong to get slightly aroused by that? Hypothetically....obviously. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jamboinglasgow Posted July 30, 2008 Share Posted July 30, 2008 ah brings back memory of second year at uni when I stayed in a flat with a czech girl (who sadly had a boyfriend.) Two of her male friends were round and had a few drinks when one suggested to her to show her technique on a banana. She then got a banana and almost deep throated it, then went through alot of the stuff that Ivanawfyticklikov suggested, hadn't been turned on like that too often. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Brian Whittaker's Tache Posted July 30, 2008 Share Posted July 30, 2008 Do you work in CC's? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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