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Vlad Magic

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Vlad Magic

Why do they smell sometimes and other times not?

 

Why do your own farts smell amazing but others not so?

 

Why are some loud and some quiet?

 

 

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jonnothejambo

Marmite Peanut butter is a prerequisite for Michelin star bottom burps. 

 

Crunchy PB is preferable as it lessens the chance of the Marmite follow through which can best be described as Dante's Peak followed by a mammoth's tusk.

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Vlad Magic

French onion soup is my downfall in relation to the creation of hells smells.

 

That and beansprouts.

 

I can go weeks pumping without fear of embarrassment in public then all of a sudden the stinky ones appear from nowhere.

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Des Lynam
5 minutes ago, Vlad Magic said:

French onion soup is my downfall in relation to the creation of hells smells.

 

That and beansprouts.

 

I can go weeks pumping without fear of embarrassment in public then all of a sudden the stinky ones appear from nowhere.

 

What about the ones that escape that take you by surprise in say the supermarket? I do enjoy looking disgusted at other folks when that happens 😂

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8 minutes ago, Swanny17 said:

Why is farting in public so taboo? We all do it, so why cover it up? Just let rip. 👍

 

No one likes to reek of shite, or to have it known that a shitty reek comes from your hole. If you just keep calm it'll all be over soon.

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Just now, Sir Craig Gordon said:

Why do they stink more when you fart in the bath ?

This one I know!

When you smell something little particles are going up your nose and reacting chemically with your olfactory stuff. The wetter these particles are (let's call them sharticles) the easier they react with our detection systems.

 

It's not wise to think too much about breathing in someone's sharticles when you smell a fart.

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I used to have a thing on my Google home, if I said "Hey Google did you fart?" it would flash a lamp on and off, triggering one of those light sensitive air fresheners, and make fart noises.

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If you want the full Chernobyl I’d recommend a saag curry and Guinness as a combo. I swear it can make my eyes water sometimes. 

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otterjohn
1 hour ago, Vlad Magic said:

Why do they smell sometimes and other times not?

 

Why do your own farts smell amazing but others not so?

 

Why are some loud and some quiet?

 

 

Thats one if the best questions  ever asked on Kickback

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Salad Fingers

Had a Chinese stir fry for dinner and mines are like feckin bin juice tonight. 

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Der Kaiser

Toot

Honk

Parp

Rasp

 

I believe all farts can be categorised using this simple list with Rasp being the most dangerous. 

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29 minutes ago, Der Kaiser said:

Toot

Honk

Parp

Rasp

 

I believe all farts can be categorised using this simple list with Rasp being the most dangerous. 

 

Viz.txt

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I've always found that my air biscuits first thing in the morning don't smell at all. But by 10am I should be on trial at Nuremberg.

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Harry Potter
10 hours ago, Sir Craig Gordon said:

Why do they stink more when you fart in the bath ?

its a reaction with bubble bath

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Horatio Caine
1 minute ago, PortyJambo said:

Considering how my wife says my farts smell, this thread should be merged with the eggs one :lol:

Just as well women never fart.....

 

(according to Mrs Caine)

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highlandjambo3

Back in the day my unit ran around in these Warriors and, part of the built in defence system was chemical and biological proofing with hatch/door seals and, an air filtration system similar to an aircraft.  Every training exercise would involve a chemical element for a few days and all vehicles had to remain battened down (closed down)……..

 

Dropping a timely beef cloud was on a par to Chernobyl 😂……the commander sat top right in the turret with his “night fighter” just slightly higher than the troops in the back…..a glorious position any sniper would be proud of.

 

Often the troops would attempt to get out, preferring a chemical attack to a chocolate donut cough.

 

 

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3 hours ago, Horatio Caine said:

Just as well women never fart.....

 

(according to Mrs Caine)

Mrs Morgan doesn’t fart either.

 

She puffs.

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15 hours ago, Der Kaiser said:

Toot

Honk

Parp

Rasp

 

I believe all farts can be categorised using this simple list with Rasp being the most dangerous. 

Puffballs are infinitely more choking.

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Going back a bit when public loos were in abundance but money was tight. Thinking you might be caught short but a common outcome was often encapsulated with the words. 

 

Here am I broken hearted

Paid a penny and only farted 

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53 minutes ago, 132goals1958 said:

Going back a bit when public loos were in abundance but money was tight. Thinking you might be caught short but a common outcome was often encapsulated with the words. 

 

Here am I broken hearted

Paid a penny and only farted 

:)

 

Or....

Some come here to read and write,

Some come here to wonder,

But I come here to pish and shite,

And fart like thunder.

        

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