The 'I've decided to just get pished' Thread.

[Greedy Jambo]

Talk as much shite as you like. 

[Greedy Jambo]

I'll start

Went to asda the day

Stood in a cue for 15 minutes while a nurse (could have been a dentists assistant or anything) (i'll let her off) put a whole weeks shopping through the quick checkout. 

Long story short, the machine broke, and i was told that the checkout was closed,  i then went to move to the next one and some arse hole that had just appeared got there first. In a bit of rager i stormed down the other end of the shop to a proper check out to be stood for another 15 minutes. 

When i finally got to being 2nd in line, the guy scanning the food had not a care in the world, chatting away to the old dear behind him and taking all the time he wanted. I'm looking left and right and there's cues all over the place. Fuming. 

We're no supposed to be oot the hoose! We're no supposed to have people pushing past each other. We're no supposed to have some guy spouting pish out his gob infront of us. 

 

Edited March 26, 2020 by Space Pirate

[highlandjambo3]

7 minutes ago, Space Pirate said:

I'll start

Went to asda the day

Stood in a cue for 15 minutes while a nurse (i'll let her off) put a whole weeks shopping through the quick checkout. 

Long story short, the machine broke, and i was told that the checkout was closed,  i then went to move to the next one and some arse hole that had just appeared got there first. In a bit of rager i stormed down the other end of the shop to a proper check out to be stood for another 15 minutes. 

When i finally got being 2nd place, the guy scanning the food had not a care in the world, chatting away to the old dear behind him and taking all the time he wanted. I'm looking left and right and there's cues all over the place. Fuming. 

 

Nae wonder i'm getting pished. 

Am sure I read somewhere that bosses were trying to get their staff to cut down on the friendly banter, it was slowing down the process of getting punters through the checkouts and ultimately costing them dosh......some muppet had done a study on this.................However..........

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I myself might be a Schindler’s List and talking pish 

[Dawnrazor]

21 minutes ago, Space Pirate said:

Talk as much shite as you like. 

The SNP are ****ed, Salmond done it, Nippy kent, the virus was man made, Socialism works, Levine done a great job, Greta has a sex tape and Strachan will be Scotland's manager again.

[JWL]

14 minutes ago, Space Pirate said:

I'll start

Went to asda the day

Stood in a cue for 15 minutes while a nurse (could have been a dentists assistant or anything) (i'll let her off) put a whole weeks shopping through the quick checkout. 

Long story short, the machine broke, and i was told that the checkout was closed,  i then went to move to the next one and some arse hole that had just appeared got there first. In a bit of rager i stormed down the other end of the shop to a proper check out to be stood for another 15 minutes. 

When i finally got to being 2nd in line, the guy scanning the food had not a care in the world, chatting away to the old dear behind him and taking all the time he wanted. I'm looking left and right and there's cues all over the place. Fuming. 

We're no supposed to be oot the hoose! We're no supposed to have people pushing past each other. We're no supposed to have some guy spouting pish out his gob infront of us. 

 

 

You sure you weren't in a snooker hall?

[Morgan]

25 minutes ago, Space Pirate said:

Talk as much shite as you like. 

You've got an unfair advantage in this competition.   

 

You win it every Friday and Saturday night anyway.

 

 

[Greedy Jambo]

4 minutes ago, highlandjambo3 said:

Am sure I read somewhere that bosses were trying to get their staff to cut down on the friendly banter, it was slowing down the process of getting punters through the checkouts and ultimately costing them dosh......some muppet had done a study on this.................However..........

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I myself might be a Schindler’s List and talking pish 

 

I was fuming mate. I could see the guy keep looking at me for a reaction like he was funny as ****. I couldn't have made it any clearer that i just wanted out of there and there was a million people waiting to do the same. 

The woman he was giving his life story was there to take over from him, she served me and asked how i was doing.... 

I was like, I'm fine other than these cues...

She said to me, "well it's to be expected with what's happening just now"

NAW, it's to be expected if you employ complete and utter arse holes!

I told her that i had been standing in a a cue only for it to be closed and she didn't say another word. 

[Morgan]

2 minutes ago, JWL said:

 

You sure you weren't in a snooker hall?

 

[Greedy Jambo]

1 minute ago, Morgan said:

 

Drink up or get ooot!

[Morgan]

1 minute ago, Space Pirate said:

Drink up or get ooot!

Cheers!  

[Greedy Jambo]

8 minutes ago, Morgan said:

Cheers!  

 

Right, geeza story. 

[Greedy Jambo]

Ah see, YOU'VE NO DRANK ENOUGH HUV YAE!

no even drank enough for a story!

[Greedy Jambo]

This thread is all about the force majeure

[Restonbabe]

Voddy in hand. Kids fed. Chill out time. 

[One five]

I walked down to Tesco and tbf it was not that busy , got my essentials beer , chocolate , crisps that sort of stuff 🙄, I passed a few folk on the way and back keeping social distancing of course most smiled and gave a nod of the head! even a (hi ) Amazing ! normally folk would be to busy getting on with there day to even notice you , strange times indeed.

[Tommy Brown]

Sister in law and brother sharing a story of an NHS nurse at Fauldhouse getting assaulted for jumping the queue at the pharmacy.

Everybody shouting scum on Facebook, sharing it like ****.

Good lady is a nurse at said Fauldhouse.

Yip, you've guessed, nobody knows **** all about it.

Complete Facebook bollocks.

 

And they say kickbacks for arseholes.

[One five]

According to the news ,Wherever you can at the window ,balconies , front doors if possible, stand and clap your hands tonight at 8 to applaud the nhs👏

Edited March 26, 2020 by One five

[Greedy Jambo]

These stories are even worse than mine. I think we need to hand out the shots. 

 

Edited March 26, 2020 by Space Pirate

[Tommy Brown]

Abstaining from drink the now, but I'll talk shite.

 

Good thing aboot this, crime must be way Doon. Co2 gases way Doon. Hearts aren't getting beat.

What do you think

[Auld Reekin']

21 minutes ago, Tommy Brown said:

Sister in law and brother sharing a story of an NHS nurse at Fauldhouse getting assaulted for jumping the queue at the pharmacy.

Everybody shouting scum on Facebook, sharing it like ****.

Good lady is a nurse at said Fauldhouse.

Yip, you've guessed, nobody knows **** all about it.

Complete Facebook bollocks.

 

And they say kickbacks for arseholes.

 

Kickbackers are paragons of moral virtue, tolerance, and rationality; have the wisdom of Solomon and the patience of Job; and are intellectual colossi compared to the average Faecesbook user.

 

Saving my drinking quota for the weekend, I'm afraid... Don't let me stop you though!   🍺

[Robbo-Jambo]

1 hour ago, Morgan said:

You've got an unfair advantage in this competition.   

 

You win it every Friday and Saturday night anyway.

 

 

😅😅

[Tommy Brown]

6 minutes ago, Auld Reekin' said:

 

Kickbackers are paragons of moral virtue, tolerance, and rationality; have the wisdom of Solomon and the patience of Job; and are intellectual colossi compared to the average Faecesbook user.

 

Saving my drinking quota for the weekend, I'm afraid... Don't let me stop you though!   🍺

 

Great post

 

Go on....pull up a chair and have a drink.

 

Morgan's arrived, his banters normally good

[Greedy Jambo]

10 minutes ago, Tommy Brown said:

Abstaining from drink the now, but I'll talk shite.

 

Good thing aboot this, crime must be way Doon. Co2 gases way Doon. Hearts aren't getting beat.

What do you think

 

Honestly? All i'm thinking after that is , god, i wish wonderland on lothian road still sold air guns. 

[Greedy Jambo]

9 minutes ago, Auld Reekin' said:

 

Kickbackers are paragons of moral virtue, tolerance, and rationality; have the wisdom of Solomon and the patience of Job; and are intellectual colossi compared to the average Faecesbook user.

 

Saving my drinking quota for the weekend, I'm afraid... Don't let me stop you though!   🍺

 

There is no more weekend. Every day is now what you make of it and today i'm making it a mess. 

[Morgan]

33 minutes ago, One five said:

According to the news ,Wherever you can at the window ,balconies , front doors if possible, stand and clap your hands tonight at 8 to applaud the nhs👏

It’s been happening here for over a week now (tonight's one has just ended).  It’s really very uplifting stuff, and very well deserved imo.

 

There’s also torches being waved, and pots and pans being rattled together.

 

 

[Morgan]

7 minutes ago, Tommy Brown said:

 

Great post

 

Go on....pull up a chair and have a drink.

 

Morgan's arrived, his banters normally good

Cheers Tommy!

 

Or, was it sarcasm?  

[Auld Reekin']

1 minute ago, Space Pirate said:

 

There is no more weekend. Every day is now what you make of it and today i'm making it a mess. 

 

I get what you're saying, but I usually just have a few drinks over the weekend, mainly to ensure that I have more days off it than on. (If beer and red wine were actually deemed to be good for you, or even just kinda neutral like coffee, I'd be very happily pishing it up most days, but sadly they're not and I don't...)

[One five]

12 minutes ago, Morgan said:

It’s been happening here for over a week now (tonight's one has just ended).  It’s really very uplifting stuff, and very well deserved imo.

 

There’s also torches being waved, and pots and pans being rattled together.

 

 

Never knew that mate thought it was 8 tonight, maybe I’m drinking to much 🤣

[The Internet]

I don't drink but I walked straight in through the out door at asda chesser yesterday without realising. Didn't notice until I went out through the same door and noticed a queue of folk waiting at the in door. Oops. 

[Greedy Jambo]

28 minutes ago, Auld Reekin' said:

 

I get what you're saying, but I usually just have a few drinks over the weekend, mainly to ensure that I have more days off it than on. (If beer and red wine were actually deemed to be good for you, or even just kinda neutral like coffee, I'd be very happily pishing it up most days, but sadly they're not and I don't...)

 

I tried to read that but i'm too pissed. pm me tomorrow. 

[Greedy Jambo]

OH FFS

LIVEN THE **** UP YOU CAAAAANTS

 

[One five]

42 minutes ago, Morgan said:

It’s been happening here for over a week now (tonight's one has just ended).  It’s really very uplifting stuff, and very well deserved imo.

 

There’s also torches being waved, and pots and pans being rattled together.

 

 

Hope your ready to rattle them pots and pans mate 👍

[theshed]

Asda at the jewel had taken away at least half their checkouts and replaced them with the self service things. 
 

It’s a nightmare if you have a big shop tying to you’s those self service ones 

[Morgan]

49 minutes ago, One five said:

Never knew that mate thought it was 8 tonight, maybe I’m drinking to much 🤣

 

No, you were correct.  It’s at 8.00pm here in France.

 

19 minutes ago, One five said:

Hope your ready to rattle them pots and pans mate 👍

 

Just whistling and clapping on the balcony for us!  👍

[gjcc]

14 minutes ago, theshed said:

Asda at the jewel had taken away at least half their checkouts and replaced them with the self service things. 
 

It’s a nightmare if you have a big shop tying to you’s those self service ones 

Use the ‘scan and go’. Pretty simple. Scan stuff as you go around and put it straight into your bags then takes a few seconds at the checkout. 

[theshed]

4 minutes ago, gjcc said:

Use the ‘scan and go’. Pretty simple. Scan stuff as you go around and put it straight into your bags then takes a few seconds at the checkout. 

 

Will give that a try, cheers 

 

[trotter]

7 minutes ago, Space Pirate said:

That's me oot raving in the steet now for the nhs

 

 

 

If this sort of stuff is your bag, check out the "Euro Nation" channel on YouTube. It's run from Toronto of all places, but the boy loves his old-school Eurodance tunes. 

 

Clicky Here
 

Edited March 26, 2020 by trotter

[trotter]

Double Post

Edited March 26, 2020 by trotter

[Greedy Jambo]

1 minute ago, Vlad Magic said:

You really don’t help yourself.

 

 

 

Did you leave your house to clap in the street with absolutely no nhs staff watching?

I appreciate all that they do, but that's not doing shit, that's just going out in the street and clapping. 

 

[One five]

29 minutes ago, Morgan said:

 

No, you were correct.  It’s at 8.00pm here in France.

 

 

Just whistling and clapping on the balcony for us!  👍

Never knew you where in France 🇫🇷 Bonsoir  my friend 👍

[micole]

32 minutes ago, Space Pirate said:

 

Did you leave your house to clap in the street with absolutely no nhs staff watching?

I appreciate all that they do, but that's not doing shit, that's just going out in the street and clapping. 

 

For FFS!! you really don't get it do you ( or you are on a wind up) it was a JESTURE!! of support they don't need to hear it  but I bet you they know about it. 

[heartsfc_fan]

53 minutes ago, gjcc said:

Use the ‘scan and go’. Pretty simple. Scan stuff as you go around and put it straight into your bags then takes a few seconds at the checkout. 

This. The system at Tesco is pretty good.

[Lovecraft]

6 minutes ago, heartsfc_fan said:

This. The system at Tesco is pretty good.

 How do they weigh it?

 

Just pile it on the thing at the end?

 

 

[heartsfc_fan]

7 minutes ago, Lovecraft said:

 How do they weigh it?

 

Just pile it on the thing at the end?

 

 

Nah.

Any loose fruit/veg you need to weigh yourself round the shop on the scales then print the wee label and scan it.

Everything else you scan and pop in the bag in the trolley.

Granted you could easily not scan half the stuff (I'm not a cheap erse) but they do spot checks, perhaps 1 in 5 shoppers and a member of staff comes over with a scanner and scans random items in your bags to make sure you've actually scanned them.

[Morgan]

1 hour ago, One five said:

Never knew you where in France 🇫🇷 Bonsoir  my friend 👍

Same to you, mon ami.

[The Roller]

10 minutes ago, Morgan said:

Same to you, mon ami.

 Family.

[Morgan]

Just now, The Roller said:

 Family.

It was an error last night.

 

I tried to let you know that I got you confused with another poster.

 

Sorry. 

[Locky]

Nae drink tonight for me, but I always talk shite, so here I am.

[Morgan]

1 minute ago, Locky said:

Nae drink tonight for me, but I always talk shite, so here I am.

Seconded.

 

 

[Locky]

Just now, Morgan said:

Seconded.

 

 

The nae drink, or the talk shite part?