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iantjambo

It seemed a good idea at the time

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Jamhammer
5 minutes ago, Morgan said:

Did you.ever get to go out with her though?

Sadly not. I’m guessing she, correctly assumed I was a cretin 

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Harry Potter

Oscars disco about 1982,  dancing with my girlfriends sister told her i liked her.

ended up getting thrown out, why did i ever say it.:sad:

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Morgan
Just now, Jamhammer said:

Sadly not. I’m guessing she, correctly assumed I was a cretin 

:rofl:

 

i’m sure it was her loss!

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Morgan
Just now, Harry Potter said:

Oscars disco about 1982,  dancing with my girlfriends sister told her i liked her.

ended up getting thrown out, why did i ever say it.:sad:

:lol: 

 

Why did you get thrown out, Harold?

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Jamhammer
Just now, Morgan said:

:rofl:

 

i’m sure it was her loss!

Mate me and her would have been Muhammad Ali level punching on my part

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Morgan
1 minute ago, Jamhammer said:

Mate me and her would have been Muhammad Ali level punching on my part

:lol: 

 

You're on form the day!

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Harry Potter
29 minutes ago, Morgan said:

:lol: 

 

Why did you get thrown out, Harold?

The 2 lassies were upset and told the bouncers, i got bounced out, well walked out.

My gran was upset with me, she liked her, think that was the worst part . 

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Morgan
28 minutes ago, Harry Potter said:

The 2 lassies were upset and told the bouncers, i got bounced out, well walked out.

My gran was upset with me, she liked her, think that was the worst part . 

:sadrobbo:

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Harry Potter
5 minutes ago, Morgan said:

:sadrobbo:

Was never a keeper back then, more like a sleeper. i was 21.

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Morgan
26 minutes ago, Harry Potter said:

Was never a keeper back then, more like a sleeper. i was 21.

:lol: 

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Craig_
On 12/06/2019 at 18:49, superjack said:

I crowd of us went go karting in livi a good few years ago and on the way there, we all got absolutely wasted in the back of my mates transit.

Due to this I decided to take my old jacket off. When I was getting out the kart I placed my left elbow on what I thought was a handy arm rest,  realised a few seconds too late that it was the exhaust manifold.

3 mo this later you could still make out a serial number just below my elbow.

 

Did something similar with a patio heater in a beer garden many years ago. Had a lovely mesh pattern on my hand for weeks. 

 

What's even worse is that my charred flesh smelt delicious! 

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jonnothejambo
On 10/06/2019 at 22:25, Brick Tamland said:

I had 5mins notice of a surprise visit from a bursd and needed a very quick shower as I’d been playing fives. To save time brushed my teeth in the shower and thought I’d give the wee man a freshen up with the toothpaste as well....

don't try this at home 😩

 

No doubt she ended up with a Colgate ring of confidence....

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jonnothejambo
On 11/06/2019 at 13:08, Maple Leaf said:

Many years ago I was about 8 years old and living on Royston Mains Avenue. My parents were going out for the evening and left me with the usual list of instructions ... don't open the door to anyone, don't play with matches, don't touch the fire, and don't let Charlie the canary out of the cage.

 

Needless to say, as soon as they were gone, I let the Charlie out of the cage. The canary had a grand time flying around the living room. Then it came time to put Charlie back into the cage, but Charlie didn't want to go back! For several minutes I made futile attempts to catch the bird as it whirred around the room. I got a brainwave about throwing a towel over it to bring it down. It worked and the towel, with the bird under it, landed on the floor near the fireplace. But the bird was flapping around under the towel, and I knew that as soon as I lifted the towel it would take off again. So I decided to stun it, like I'd seen happen to people in the movies. I picked up the hammer that my dad used to break up lumps of coal and "stunned" the bird with it. I was eight years old, remember; that's my excuse.

 

I put the corpse back into the cage and went to bed. Next day my parents sadly announced that Charlie had died. I never told them what happened.

 

:rofl:

 

The Canary Killer.

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IronJambo
15 hours ago, Morgan said:

Try this with your mum-in-law and the plug for the fridge freezer.

I'd need to use a taser that was designed to take down a buffalo for her to even notice.

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Sarah O
On 11/06/2019 at 14:08, Maple Leaf said:

Many years ago I was about 8 years old and living on Royston Mains Avenue. My parents were going out for the evening and left me with the usual list of instructions ... don't open the door to anyone, don't play with matches, don't touch the fire, and don't let Charlie the canary out of the cage.

 

Needless to say, as soon as they were gone, I let the Charlie out of the cage. The canary had a grand time flying around the living room. Then it came time to put Charlie back into the cage, but Charlie didn't want to go back! For several minutes I made futile attempts to catch the bird as it whirred around the room. I got a brainwave about throwing a towel over it to bring it down. It worked and the towel, with the bird under it, landed on the floor near the fireplace. But the bird was flapping around under the towel, and I knew that as soon as I lifted the towel it would take off again. So I decided to stun it, like I'd seen happen to people in the movies. I picked up the hammer that my dad used to break up lumps of coal and "stunned" the bird with it. I was eight years old, remember; that's my excuse.

 

I put the corpse back into the cage and went to bed. Next day my parents sadly announced that Charlie had died. I never told them what happened.

:vrwow:

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milky_26
3 hours ago, IronJambo said:

I'd need to use a taser that was designed to take down a buffalo for her to even notice.

Your MiL isn't Morgan's Sister in law is she?

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superjack
1 hour ago, milky_26 said:

Your MiL isn't Morgan's Sister in law is she?

Wouldn't want to be in a room with both of them, it would stink of rotten fish and there would be no space to breath.

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Lemongrab
53 minutes ago, superjack said:

Wouldn't want to be in a room with both of them, it would stink of rotten fish and there would be no space to breath.

Who, Morgan and his sister in law? :shocked3:

 

One of them must use this.

 

Sweet-Fish-Vaginal-Deodorant.jpg

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Morgan
6 hours ago, IronJambo said:

I'd need to use a taser that was designed to take down a buffalo for her to even notice.

 

:rofl:

 

3 hours ago, milky_26 said:

Your MiL isn't Morgan's Sister in law is she?

 

The description seems about right right, but I think the age difference is just too much. :) 

 

1 hour ago, superjack said:

Wouldn't want to be in a room with both of them, it would stink of rotten fish and there would be no space to breath.

 

Janet does indeed stink of fish and has horrendous halitosis to boot.

 

20 minutes ago, Lemongrab said:

Who, Morgan and his sister in law? :shocked3:

 

One of them must use this.

 

Sweet-Fish-Vaginal-Deodorant.jpg

Janet uses that in her mouth and still smells like a Turkish hoor on a busy Saturday night.

 

 

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Armageddon

After we won the cup in 98 we were in a bar on Rose Street, the bar maid was having a laugh with us all night, she was collecting glasses and I though for a split second i'd drop some ice down the front of her top ... she nearly broke my jaw, i was out cold, I woke up in a doorway on Rose Street with my mates trying to get me to come round but then ripping me as they'd all been kicked out from a great great night.

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Brick Tamland
20 hours ago, jonnothejambo said:

 

No doubt she ended up with a Colgate ring of confidence....

She did but I honestly thought my cock was going to burst into song 

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martoon

Starting the "Yesterday" thread. 

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