Professor.Arturo Posted May 24, 2008 Share Posted May 24, 2008 WIN A COUNCIL HOUSE Good morning and welcome to a brand new edition of 'ASYLUM'. Today's program features another chance to take part in our exciting competition: Hijack an airliner and win a council house! We've already given away hundreds of millions of pounds and thousands of dream homes, courtesy of our sponsor the British Taxpayer. And don't forget, we're now the fastest growing game on the planet. Anyone can play, provided they don't already hold a valid British passport, and you only need one word of English: 'ASYLUM'!. Prizes include all-expenses-paid accommodation, cash benefits starting at ?180 a week and a chance to earn thousands more begging, mugging and accosting drivers at traffic lights. This competition is open to everyone buying a ticket or stowing away on one of our partner airlines, ferry companies or Eurostar. No application ever refused reasonable or unreasonable. All you have to do is destroy all your papers and remember the magic password: 'ASYLUM'. Only this week 140 members of the Taliban family from Afghanistan were flown Goat Class from Kabul to our international gateway at Stansted where local law enforcement officers were on hand to fast-track them to their luxury ?200-a-night rooms in the fabulous four star Hilton Hotel. They join tens of thousands of other lucky winners already staying in hotels all over Britain Our most popular destinations also include the White Cliffs of Dover and the world famous Toddington Services area In Historic Bedfordshire. If you still don't understand the rules, don't forget there's no need to phone a friend or ask the audience, just apply for legal aid. Hundreds of lawyers, social workers and counsellors are waiting to help. It won't cost you a penny, so play today; it could change your life forever. Iraqi terrorists, Afghan dissidents, Albanian gangsters, pro-Pinochet activists, anti-Pinochet activists, Kosovan drug-smugglers, Tamil tigers, bogus Bosnians, Rwandan mass murderers, Somali guerrillas...COME ON DOWN! Get along to the airport, get along to the lorry park, get along to the ferry terminal. Don't stop in Germany or France . Go straight to Britain and you are guaranteed to be one of tens of thousands of lucky winners in the softest game on earth. Everyone's a winner, when they play 'ASYLUM'. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rawrrrrrrr Posted May 24, 2008 Share Posted May 24, 2008 Me thinks that will be gone soon along with the OP for an extended vacation Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Le Chat Posted May 24, 2008 Share Posted May 24, 2008 Me thinks that will be gone soon along with the OP for an extended vacation Shame it wasn't you who posted it then Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
belly Posted May 24, 2008 Share Posted May 24, 2008 I actually find it quite funny in a realistic kind of way, I am sick to death how this country bends over backwards to give hand outs to asylum seekers, who really should not be here in the first place under the rules of asylum. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mr Romanov Saviour of HMFC Posted May 24, 2008 Share Posted May 24, 2008 Me thinks that will be gone soon along with the OP for an extended vacation Why? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rawrrrrrrr Posted May 24, 2008 Share Posted May 24, 2008 Why? The PC brigade are bound to be offended by it, the fact it is very true to life is irrelevent Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dirk Diggler Posted May 24, 2008 Share Posted May 24, 2008 Me thinks that will be gone soon along with the OP for an extended vacation The irony. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Doctor FinnBarr Posted May 24, 2008 Share Posted May 24, 2008 Me thinks that will be gone soon along with the OP for an extended vacation You,re well wrong sir prancalot. Or should that be Dick. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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