Chewy Posted May 1, 2008 Share Posted May 1, 2008 An Austrian journalist asked a neighbour how long he had known Josef Fritzl's daughter, He replied ... Alice. Alice? Who the **** is Alice? You mean for 24 years I've been living next door to Alice? I know I know , but I liked it!!!!!! Chewy Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Markie Posted May 1, 2008 Share Posted May 1, 2008 Has anyone checked the McCanns house for a basement?? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gavsy Van Gaverson Posted May 1, 2008 Share Posted May 1, 2008 "News today that trips to Austria for Stag nights have nosedived since it emerged that Austrians really do lock up their daughters!" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jeremy Posted May 1, 2008 Share Posted May 1, 2008 During the war when the nazi's were about it was considered wise to hide you're children in the basement. Now its considered a "bad thing". How times have changed Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
I P Knightley Posted May 1, 2008 Share Posted May 1, 2008 This one and the case last year of that girl who'd been kept in a cellar for 8 years. I think it's high time that the European Courts got off their lazy backsides and started a search of all Teutonic cellars and put a stop to the hysterical fear that is spreading the continent. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Markie Posted May 1, 2008 Share Posted May 1, 2008 This one and the case last year of that girl who'd been kept in a cellar for 8 years. I think it's high time that the European Courts got off their lazy backsides and started a search of all Teutonic cellars and put a stop to the hysterical fear that is spreading the continent. Both in Austria as well Is that not where Hitler was born?? Bomb them all!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wibble Posted May 1, 2008 Share Posted May 1, 2008 Fill all cellars in Europe with concrete. That'll sort it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Markie Posted May 1, 2008 Share Posted May 1, 2008 Fill all cellars in Europe with concrete. That'll sort it. What and kill all the folk stuck down there!! Whats the odds the kids are Hibs fans?? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tedp6873 Posted May 1, 2008 Share Posted May 1, 2008 Old Austrian Proverb.......... A woman is like a fine wine, best left to mature in the cellar.............................................. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
I P Knightley Posted May 2, 2008 Share Posted May 2, 2008 Off topic a bit but: The testicles of a midget hurt and ached almost all the time. The midget went to the doctor and told him about his problem. The doctor told him to drop his pants and he would have a look. The midget dropped his pants. The doctor stood him up onto the examining table, and started to examine him. The doctor put one finger under his left testicle and told the midget to turn his head and cough, the usual method to check for a hernia 'Aha!' mumbled the doctor, and as he put his finger under the right testicle, he asked the midget to cough again. 'Aha!' said the doctor once more, and reached for his surgical scissors. Snip-snip-snip-snip on the right side... then snip-snip-snip-snip on the left side. The midget was so scared he was afraid to look, but noted with amazement that the snipping did not hurt. The doctor then told the midget to walk around the examining room to see if his testicles still hurt. The midget was absolutely delighted as he walked around and discovered his boys were no longer aching. The doctor said, 'How does that feel now?' The midget replied, 'Perfect Doc, and I didn't even feel it. What did you do?' The doctor replied 'I cut two inches off the top of your cowboy boots.' Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jamboinglasgow Posted May 2, 2008 Share Posted May 2, 2008 An Austrian journalist asked a neighbour how long he had known Josef Fritzl's daughter, He replied ... Alice. Alice? Who the **** is Alice? You mean for 24 years I've been living next door to Alice? I know I know , but I liked it!!!!!! Chewy funnily enough shared a flat in first year at uni with an Austrian, he would always do that chant when he was drunk. The guy was a legend who (thanks to having an English mother) spoke perfect English and so was playing scrabble and getting drunk all the time. Knew he had a sister though wonder if he has another in the basement, hmmmm Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wolfstar Posted May 2, 2008 Share Posted May 2, 2008 Off topic a bit but: The testicles of a midget hurt and ached almost all the time. The midget went to the doctor and told him about his problem. The doctor told him to drop his pants and he would have a look. The midget dropped his pants. The doctor stood him up onto the examining table, and started to examine him. The doctor put one finger under his left testicle and told the midget to turn his head and cough, the usual method to check for a hernia 'Aha!' mumbled the doctor, and as he put his finger under the right testicle, he asked the midget to cough again. 'Aha!' said the doctor once more, and reached for his surgical scissors. Snip-snip-snip-snip on the right side... then snip-snip-snip-snip on the left side. The midget was so scared he was afraid to look, but noted with amazement that the snipping did not hurt. The doctor then told the midget to walk around the examining room to see if his testicles still hurt. The midget was absolutely delighted as he walked around and discovered his boys were no longer aching. The doctor said, 'How does that feel now?' The midget replied, 'Perfect Doc, and I didn't even feel it. What did you do?' The doctor replied 'I cut two inches off the top of your cowboy boots.' haha heard this before. but it was every time it rains my balls hurt - so doctor cut 2 inchs off the top of the wellys - Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
coppercrutch Posted May 2, 2008 Share Posted May 2, 2008 As usual the Daily Mash raise the bar of bad taste **** takes http://www.thedailymash.co.uk/news/international/austria-launches-'birthplace-of-hitler'-campaign-20080430916/ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
geddy Posted May 2, 2008 Share Posted May 2, 2008 An old Austrian proverb........ A woman is like a fine wine. Best left in the cellar to mature Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Craig Gordons Gloves Posted May 2, 2008 Share Posted May 2, 2008 Josef Fritzl Ltd - Cellar Construction and Soundproofing - a family business for 24 years. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Old Tolbooth Posted May 2, 2008 Share Posted May 2, 2008 It's a good job Shannon Mathews was found, imagine finding her in 24 years with 7 kids who look like her! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sooperstar Posted May 3, 2008 Share Posted May 3, 2008 An old Austrian proverb........ A woman is like a fine wine. Best left in the cellar to mature I'm sure I've read that before somewhere... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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