The People's Chimp Posted August 26, 2010 Share Posted August 26, 2010 You know those horrendous 'women are thick and gullible and need a break from doing the ironing/cleaning/watching jeremy kyle' magazines? Things like "take a break" "NOW" and all other varieties of brain cripple reading materials? http://www.takeaweirdbreak.com/ trawls through and brings the funniest headlines... Includes: "A JEALOUS PHANTOM WONT LET ME DATE" "OUR ANGEL CAT TOOK MY HUBBY TO HEAVEN" "DOCS CONFESS, WE REMOVED YOUR JAW BY MISTAKE what could I say?" Not much probably... "I CAN ONLY HAVE SEX ON TUESDAYS" ("that's craig david's chances gone then...") "MUTILATED by my boss's [sic] DRUG ADDICT CHIMP" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
2NaFish Posted August 26, 2010 Share Posted August 26, 2010 that site has saved me ?3.25 a week. Good lad. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moriarty Posted August 26, 2010 Share Posted August 26, 2010 Why is he in the bed? Why has he got his top off? Have they set that bed up specially for him? WHAT'S GOING ON? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sterling Archer Posted August 26, 2010 Share Posted August 26, 2010 ?though, to paraphrase Diry Harry, if he's chasing you down the street with a butcher's knife and a hard on, he's probably a rapist. My favourite Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The People's Chimp Posted August 26, 2010 Author Share Posted August 26, 2010 MMMm chips. Chippy chips. **** sleep, I want chips. Presumably he just stays up all night eating more chips. mmm chips. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sterling Archer Posted August 26, 2010 Share Posted August 26, 2010 Right, so hang on. You were killed by the Nazis in a former life, by being shot in the head. Now, however many lives later, you?ve got a brain tumour. And that brain tumour is the bullet. In other words, whilst your former life was as a victim of the Nazis, your brain tumour?s former life was as a bullet. Well that?s perfectly clear. Coincidentally, I also had a former life as a Nazi officer, who liked to shoot people in the head. Also, my rifle at the time has come back, but this time as a large sausage. I guess that?s the luck of the draw. Mmmm sausage. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sterling Archer Posted August 26, 2010 Share Posted August 26, 2010 Blue is the colour! (of the ocean at Therapist's paradise) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Say What Again Posted August 26, 2010 Share Posted August 26, 2010 Though I would LOVE to have read this one Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Craig R Posted August 26, 2010 Share Posted August 26, 2010 OK Magazine: "Katona: I Don't Dip My Chips In Ketamine!" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dia Liom Posted August 26, 2010 Share Posted August 26, 2010 Blue is the colour! (of the ocean at Therapist's paradise) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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