Only the Irish

[Sergio Garcia]

Two Irishmen walk into a pet shop in Dingle.

 

They head to the bird section and Gerry says to Paddy, 'Dat's dem '

 

The owner comes over and asks if he can help them.

 

'Yeah, we'll take four of dem dere little budgies in dat cage up dere, ' says Gerry.

 

The owner puts the budgies in a cardboard box.

 

Paddy and Gerry pay for the birds, leave the shop and get into Gerry's truck to drive to the top of the Connor Pass.

 

 

 

At the Connor Pass, Gerry looks down at the 1000 foot drop and says, 'Dis looks like a grand place. '

 

He takes two birds out of the box, puts one on each shoulder and jumps off the cliff.

 

Paddy watches as the budgies fly off and Gerry falls all the way to the bottom, killing himself stone dead.

 

Looking down at the remains of his best pal, Paddy shakes his head and says, **** dat. Dis budgie jumping is too ****'n dangerous for me! '

 

 

 

THERE'S MORE. . .

 

Moment's later, Seamus arrives up at Connor Pass.

 

He's been to the pet shop too and walks up to the edge of the cliff

 

'Hi, Paddy. Watch dis, ' Seamus says. He takes a parrot from the box and

 

lets him fly free.

 

He then throws himself over the edge of the cliff with a gun.

 

Paddy watches as half way down, Seamus takes the gun and shoots the

 

parrot.

 

Seamus continues to plummet down and down until he hits the bottom and breaks every bone in his body.

 

Paddy shakes his head and says, 'And I'm never trying dat parrotshooting either! '

 

IT IS NOT OVER YET. . .

 

Paddy is just getting over the shock of losing two friends when Sean appears.

 

He's also been to the pet shop and is carrying a cardboard box out of which he pulls a chicken.

 

Sean then takes the chicken by its legs and hurls himself off the cliff and disappears down and down until he hits a rock and breaks his spine.

 

 

 

Once more Paddy shakes his head. '**** dat, lads. First dere was Gerry with his budgiejumping, den Seamus parrotshooting and now Sean and his ****'n hengliding!'

[Boris]

Where am dat wattie melon?

 

[The Doctor]

Where am dat wattie melon?