Craigieboy Posted February 8, 2008 Share Posted February 8, 2008 My wife watches one of those baby/birth programmes on Sky. She sits there crying about how wonderful it all is. Yet, when she had our two, she was wailing like a big bairn. The women on that programme go mental as well. Sometimes the scene that they make is cringeworthy. I can imagine that it's sore but is it THAT sore. FFS, some of them act as if they are dying. Then, in the years that follow, they wear it like some sort of badge of honour. Like, no man could EVER experience the pain that they went through. What a load of old bollox. . Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gorgiewave Posted February 8, 2008 Share Posted February 8, 2008 Yep, definitely. Only been present at one birth, but a stubbed toe is a *******. Feckin? man flu, that?s all it is. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bn jambo Posted February 8, 2008 Share Posted February 8, 2008 My ex managed to stick the heid on me when my daughter was born, i think that was alot more painful than what she went trough, although i will admit i missed the last half hour because she had knocked me spark out, so i missed the watermelon squeezing through the gap of a wallnut, must have been sore!!!!!!!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Boris Posted February 8, 2008 Share Posted February 8, 2008 No. I was at the birth of my son and the Missus had to go into theatre. One look down at the "business end" of the table and all I saw was blood soaked wadding (or whatever it's called - the sort of stuff you see being applied to soldiers who have been shot). To be fair, she was highly sedated so in that sense pain wasn't the issue, but prior to that the 40 hour labour she went through was no picnic. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
I P Knightley Posted February 8, 2008 Share Posted February 8, 2008 God, no. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sexton Hardcastle Posted February 8, 2008 Share Posted February 8, 2008 id think to compare it with pi$$ing a golf ball thru you bellend Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
blondejamtart Posted February 8, 2008 Share Posted February 8, 2008 Just thank your lucky stars that none of you lot will ever know! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ToadKiller Dog Posted February 8, 2008 Share Posted February 8, 2008 Men have a higher threshold for pain than woman ,so maybe it feels more painful for woman than it would be for men ,looks bloody painful to me. http://www.newscientist.com/article/dn3185-why-males-bear-pain-better.html Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Therapist Posted February 8, 2008 Share Posted February 8, 2008 Wimmin are drama queens when it comes to child birth. If they want to experience real pain, they should try giving themselves a black nail. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest GhostHunter Posted February 8, 2008 Share Posted February 8, 2008 Having been at the business end twice for my two - and seen it all in it's full glory, categorically, NO, women do not exaggerate. The most painful thing I can think of in us blokes (breaks of bones aside) is a cut lip whilst shaving. Hurts like a rabid squirrel on acid. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
doctor jambo Posted February 8, 2008 Share Posted February 8, 2008 when you see the reaction of women to such trivialities as skinned knees, twisted ankles etc are you really surprised they make such a meal out of it? Why God gave the child bearing resposibilities to such a group of jessies I dont know Men would pop them out and be off down the pub within 10 minutes and procreating within hours.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pablo Posted February 8, 2008 Share Posted February 8, 2008 No, it looks brutal. Didn't enjoy one second of being present. Someone you love in agony and there's nothing you can do to help. Horrible. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Das Root Posted February 8, 2008 Share Posted February 8, 2008 id think to compare it with pi$$ing a golf ball thru you bellend That sounds like a challenge! Now where's me golf bag? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tams bird Posted February 8, 2008 Share Posted February 8, 2008 My wife watches one of those baby/birth programmes on Sky. She sits there crying about how wonderful it all is. Yet, when she had our two, she was wailing like a big bairn. The women on that programme go mental as well. Sometimes the scene that they make is cringeworthy. I can imagine that it's sore but is it THAT sore. FFS, some of them act as if they are dying. Then, in the years that follow, they wear it like some sort of badge of honour. Like, no man could EVER experience the pain that they went through. What a load of old bollox. . Not as sore as your mouth ulcer i bet. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Craigieboy Posted February 8, 2008 Author Share Posted February 8, 2008 Not as sore as your mouth ulcer i bet. Not as sore as my fat lip if my wife reads this! . Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
blondejamtart Posted February 8, 2008 Share Posted February 8, 2008 Not as sore as my fat lip if my wife reads this! . Count yourself lucky if a fat lip is all you get.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mr Romanov Saviour of HMFC Posted February 8, 2008 Share Posted February 8, 2008 Totally agree. I won't accept that it is any more painful than a 'sack tap' Totaly agony. Women just have lower pain barriers. Fact. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Commander Harris Posted February 8, 2008 Share Posted February 8, 2008 pain is subjective - if women feel pain more intensely then it IS more intense. therefore lower pain barriers are irrelevant. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MuppetMaster Posted February 8, 2008 Share Posted February 8, 2008 I fully intend to tell the future father of my child to strip down, so that all the nurses and doctors can see his fancy bits and baubles for the world to see...then I will grasp his bits and baubles in my hand and when I feel pain from childbirth, I shall squeeze and he will feel the same pain I am in. Seems fair eh? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Prince Buaben Posted February 8, 2008 Share Posted February 8, 2008 Cant be as painful as watching Hearts this season Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sharpie Posted February 8, 2008 Share Posted February 8, 2008 Have heard that the pain most comparable is passing a kidney stone, have done that twice. All I can say is if a fraction of an ounce kidney stone causes that excruciating agony I hate to think what passing a nine pound bairn with a big heid must be like. Fortunately in this life will never have that experience. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
blondejamtart Posted February 8, 2008 Share Posted February 8, 2008 I've had broken bones and appendicitis (almost to the point of ruptured appendix) and all I can say is that neither came anywhere close to labour pains! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
eddie fenwick Posted February 8, 2008 Share Posted February 8, 2008 what about the chinese women,drop a chavvy,quick cuppa and back to the paddy fields,all in the space of 10 mins,now thats real wimin for you Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
neave Posted February 8, 2008 Share Posted February 8, 2008 Totally agree. I won't accept that it is any more painful than a 'sack tap' Totaly agony. Agreed. Worst pain imaginable. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cesnauskis+10 Posted February 8, 2008 Share Posted February 8, 2008 Awwww http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=sack+tap ... I see. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest gorgie kev Posted February 8, 2008 Share Posted February 8, 2008 My wife watches one of those baby/birth programmes on Sky. She sits there crying about how wonderful it all is. Yet, when she had our two, she was wailing like a big bairn. The women on that programme go mental as well. Sometimes the scene that they make is cringeworthy. I can imagine that it's sore but is it THAT sore. FFS, some of them act as if they are dying. Then, in the years that follow, they wear it like some sort of badge of honour. Like, no man could EVER experience the pain that they went through. What a load of old bollox. . Yeah they do Everybody knows it's the guy that goes through 30 secs of pain creating said child:eek: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Craigieboy Posted February 8, 2008 Author Share Posted February 8, 2008 They talk about men passing a melon through their pee pee hole as if it were comparable. But the baby doesn't come out the pee pee hole. Its actually a fairly wide chasm. A decent sized channel. Such a fuss. . Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
leginten Posted February 8, 2008 Share Posted February 8, 2008 No, it looks brutal. Didn't enjoy one second of being present. I agree. To be honest I wouldn't recommend it as a spectator sport for anybody. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ArmiyaRomanova Posted February 8, 2008 Share Posted February 8, 2008 Disappointed to notice that nobody's mentioned the old 'try to **** a bowling ball' comparison yet. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dunxjambo Posted February 8, 2008 Share Posted February 8, 2008 no. try it and find out. you will be swore at and told that she ****in hates you, this is all ur fault. then they wee man is out and its over. and u are again the best person in the world. worth it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MuppetMaster Posted February 8, 2008 Share Posted February 8, 2008 Not as sore as my fat lip if my wife reads this! . Can I have your wife's mobile number??? I don't think it's your lip that's going to be sore mate. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Craigieboy Posted February 8, 2008 Author Share Posted February 8, 2008 Can I have your wife's mobile number??? I don't think it's your lip that's going to be sore mate. I've been threatened with the other before. She says that she will do it in my sleep. Nae chance. . Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
stawberry2 Posted February 8, 2008 Share Posted February 8, 2008 I`is a good job woman give birth and no men (man flu springs to mind) having had 2 kids 1 will any pain killer going (9lb kid i`m only 5feet tall) second with no pain killer was 2 late for any (8and 1/2 pound ,5 days early) would like a man to try give birth Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
felix Posted February 8, 2008 Share Posted February 8, 2008 It's been proven scientifically that there's nothing more painful than standing on an upturned electrical socket whilst barefoot. If you've experienced that..childbirth is like passing wind. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MuppetMaster Posted February 8, 2008 Share Posted February 8, 2008 I've been threatened with the other before. She says that she will do it in my sleep. Nae chance. . Do you read my post of how I want the future father of my child to feel the same pain? What do you think? Then you'd know if it was just a tickle and giggle. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
stawberry2 Posted February 8, 2008 Share Posted February 8, 2008 It's been proven scientifically that there's nothing more painful than standing on an upturned electrical socket whilst barefoot. If you've experienced that..childbirth is like passing wind. I take it was a man that did that report then Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Spirits Posted February 8, 2008 Share Posted February 8, 2008 I fully intend to tell the future father of my child to strip down, so that all the nurses and doctors can see his fancy bits and baubles for the world to see...then I will grasp his bits and baubles in my hand and when I feel pain from childbirth, I shall squeeze and he will feel the same pain I am in. Seems fair eh? Oh how I wish I had thought of that Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gadgey55 Posted February 8, 2008 Share Posted February 8, 2008 It does indeed seem murder. I've been to all 3 of mines (soon to be 4! ), I wouldnae swap places for anythin! Re: Those programs. They are ok. tits on TV during the day is always a good thing. Sometimes a bit muff to boot. It's alllllllll good. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Boaby Ewing Posted February 8, 2008 Share Posted February 8, 2008 First lass I knew who gave birth tore from clit to nipsy. If I'm being honest, I'd probably let go a stifled yelp should the old biffin' bridge ever get ruptured. My Dad still has scar marks on his hand from when all 10 lbs of me 'popped' out. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Doctor Posted February 8, 2008 Share Posted February 8, 2008 I've been at all three of mine and it was an horrendous experience. I hated seeing my wife in that much pain, particularly the first time, she had had diamorphine, but it looked right nippy. #2 was easier, pethidine, it still looked sore, but her labour was a lot shorter and she was more confident. #3 however was a piece of ****, she had no pain relief whatsoever, the baby came out after about 2 pushes, whole thing was over in a flash and my wife was much happier afterwards, not being stoned off her tits! But, for all that it looked sore I don't believe it was that bad, I broke my wee toe once, dropped a heavy on it and I have never experienced pain like it. I almost soiled myself, it was so sore. The other thing about watching childbirth is that it is totally disgusting. These guys with weird beards and cardigans will tell you it's a beautiful thing and an amazing experience and then they'll make you eat pate made from the placenta. They are evil and they lie. It is an horrific experience, it smells really bad, there's blood and goo everywhere, when the baby comes out it's all covered in blood and goo and they don't even wash it before they make you hold it. And it's all squashed and ugly and a funny blue/grey colour and (if you have a boy) it's scrotum is far too big and you just end up confused and scared and guilty because you're supposed to be having this 'amazing' experience, but it's just horrible and you want to go home and have a smoke and pint. My personal recommendation to you all is if you can get her mother to go with her and be her birthing partner, do it. We don't belong in the delivery room, it's not our natural habitat, stay away. Also never, ever, ever ask the doctor to "put an extra stitch in for me, mate", they hate that. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RosscoC Posted February 9, 2008 Share Posted February 9, 2008 First lass I knew who gave birth tore from clit to nipsy. If I'm being honest, I'd probably let go a stifled yelp should the old biffin' bridge ever get ruptured. My Dad still has scar marks on his hand from when all 10 lbs of me 'popped' out. That sounds like a bus route in the deep south. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Old Tolbooth Posted February 9, 2008 Share Posted February 9, 2008 It does indeed seem murder. I've been to all 3 of mines (soon to be 4! ), I wouldnae swap places for anythin! Re: Those programs. They are ok. tits on TV during the day is always a good thing. Sometimes a bit muff to boot. It's alllllllll good. Bloody hell Gadge, gie that poor wummin some peace! I was at the business end of my pair being born too and I dont see the fuss, there was a guy down the hall with a dislocated shoulder and he was screaming in pain, the nurse asked him to be quiet because there was a birthing ward nearby, and a woman was giving birth to twins and not making nearly as much noise, the guy replied, try popping them back in and see what the hell she has to say about it then!!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
redm Posted February 9, 2008 Share Posted February 9, 2008 I've been at all three of mine and it was an horrendous experience. I hated seeing my wife in that much pain, particularly the first time, she had had diamorphine, but it looked right nippy. #2 was easier, pethidine, it still looked sore, but her labour was a lot shorter and she was more confident. #3 however was a piece of ****, she had no pain relief whatsoever, the baby came out after about 2 pushes, whole thing was over in a flash and my wife was much happier afterwards, not being stoned off her tits! But, for all that it looked sore I don't believe it was that bad, I broke my wee toe once, dropped a heavy on it and I have never experienced pain like it. I almost soiled myself, it was so sore. The other thing about watching childbirth is that it is totally disgusting. These guys with weird beards and cardigans will tell you it's a beautiful thing and an amazing experience and then they'll make you eat pate made from the placenta. They are evil and they lie. It is an horrific experience, it smells really bad, there's blood and goo everywhere, when the baby comes out it's all covered in blood and goo and they don't even wash it before they make you hold it. And it's all squashed and ugly and a funny blue/grey colour and (if you have a boy) it's scrotum is far too big and you just end up confused and scared and guilty because you're supposed to be having this 'amazing' experience, but it's just horrible and you want to go home and have a smoke and pint. My personal recommendation to you all is if you can get her mother to go with her and be her birthing partner, do it. We don't belong in the delivery room, it's not our natural habitat, stay away. Also never, ever, ever ask the doctor to "put an extra stitch in for me, mate", they hate that. Sweeney, it's good to hear that. I've never believed for one second that anyone truly finds it all that beautiful a moment - how can you with all that goop around? Eeek. No matter what, men cannot be at the business end. Nope. I'm quite convinced that if they were to see the event in fully glory; they'd never look at their partners as sexual beings ever again. Fortunately I had very honest friends who had babies and told me every single little detail, no twinge or bit of ming excluded. One of them even told me about their anus practically turning inside out and this happened right before some...er..jobby..escaped. Argh. As for refusing drugs - are these women MENTAL? I don't care what some of you say, it cannot be comfortable and quite frankly, if I ever end up producing my own sproglets I'll demand every drug going. Bash me over the head with something heavy and wake me up when we're done, we can do that bonding thing later. Any person that subjects me to that amount of pain is not going to be high up on my favourites list so I'd be better off that way. You're meant to like your child, not resent it forever for being the cause of the most excruciating pain you've ever experienced in your life. So far, tearing the ligaments in my knee have to rank pretty highly on my list of painful experiences and that was bad enough. I think I'll just adopt.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tazio Posted February 9, 2008 Share Posted February 9, 2008 So men want a woman to gasp with pleasure at a boaby but not feel distress at the width of a babies head. I see a disparity in the sizes. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mr Romanov Saviour of HMFC Posted February 9, 2008 Share Posted February 9, 2008 Sweeney, it's good to hear that. I've never believed for one second that anyone truly finds it all that beautiful a moment - how can you with all that goop around? Eeek. No matter what, men cannot be at the business end. Nope. I'm quite convinced that if they were to see the event in fully glory; they'd never look at their partners as sexual beings ever again. Fortunately I had very honest friends who had babies and told me every single little detail, no twinge or bit of ming excluded. One of them even told me about their anus practically turning inside out and this happened right before some...er..jobby..escaped. Argh. As for refusing drugs - are these women MENTAL? I don't care what some of you say, it cannot be comfortable and quite frankly, if I ever end up producing my own sproglets I'll demand every drug going. Bash me over the head with something heavy and wake me up when we're done, we can do that bonding thing later. Any person that subjects me to that amount of pain is not going to be high up on my favourites list so I'd be better off that way. You're meant to like your child, not resent it forever for being the cause of the most excruciating pain you've ever experienced in your life. So far, tearing the ligaments in my knee have to rank pretty highly on my list of painful experiences and that was bad enough. I think I'll just adopt.... You still haven't had a sack tap though .... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
redm Posted February 9, 2008 Share Posted February 9, 2008 You still haven't had a sack tap though .... Nope, I haven't. Nor am I ever likely to. But honestly, talk about causing a scene. On the few occasions I've seen guys suffering from this particular fate, you'd think they'd had red hot pokers jammed in their nethers....all that groaning and rolling around...murmuring breathlessly about feeling sick...blah blah. So much for men having a high pain threshold....you're nowt but a bunch of jessies. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
coppercrutch Posted February 9, 2008 Share Posted February 9, 2008 One of them even told me about their anus practically turning inside out and this happened right before some...er..jobby..escaped. Argh. Heard a very funny story from a bird I used to work with. When her mum was giving birth to her she was pushing and in so much pain, then felt something come out and was so relieved. She turned to the Doctors thinking they would be holding the baby. They were not. In fact what she had pushed out was nothing like a baby. It was a wee jobby !!!! She was mortified and then realised she still had all the real pain to go through !! Doctors were trying not to pee themselves laughing apparently. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kirstyhearts Posted February 9, 2008 Share Posted February 9, 2008 Childbirth is definitely the sorest thing in the world, that's why god invented epidurals. That's the way to go. My husband had a peak down the business end and said it was the most amazing thing he has ever seen. My beautiful boy came out pretty much spotless with no deformities of head shape. Also no jobbies (from me anyway), I had the overwhelming desire to wee every 5 mins though, but every time I made it to the loo I didn't need to go, just like the nurse kept moaning that I didn't. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Craigieboy Posted February 9, 2008 Author Share Posted February 9, 2008 Great comments. Also, the wife now complains of having to pee a lot now. Oh, the sacrifice! She should try living with a tribe of kids in Afghanistan! . Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Seashell Posted February 9, 2008 Share Posted February 9, 2008 I've had 3 kids, my boys both being 11lb 2oz, must have been the chicken nuggets and tartare sauce I was addicted to. They were natural births and yes it was painful but I must admit once it's over you forget all about it! (until the next time) I was induced and went to hospital with my hair and make up done. The nurses etc were all like you look great well done etc. I had a look in a mirror about 3 hours after my first son and OMG, I was grey with loads of broken veins blotches all over my face and the hair was like I'd just got out of bed!!!! Anyway my daughter was a c section, piece of cake, baby gorgeous round head but afterwards was so painful. Takes much longer to recover. Men couldn't do it! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Archived
This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.