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The "things you really hate" thread


Domokun

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umbrella's well mostly the ***** that stand in the middle of the pavement with them

 

I hate them. They wouldn't walk through a crowd and ramming spikes into people's faces, but that is exactly what they are doing !!

 

I think they should be shot, repeatedly, in the face.

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People who order twelve drink rounds and then order a Guinness right at the end.

 

People who order twelve drink rounds one at a time.

 

There's a special place in hell for these people where Hibs win the treble and the champions league every year.

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A Boy Named Crow

People who don't clear up after their dogs. If you had a kids and let them crap in the street they would be taken off you. Why is it different for dog owners? Saying you only let them do it off the main path is no excuse - kids play in the grass, it's their natural habitat! Why should I have to keep my eyes fixed to ground checking for "land mines" whenever I cross some park land? Admit it, you are lazy, inconsiderate tossers who have no right to live. Come the revolution you will all die a horrible, painfull death!

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Can't believe no-one's mentioned Pete Doherty. How that drugged up **** isn't dead or in prison yet is anyone's guess.

 

Pubs in England that wont accept Scottish bank notes. Its perfectly legal and we accept your money. Get over it.

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When people say 'pound' instead of 'pounds' when referring to price.

 

Romantic comedies.

 

The huge beeler on the end of my nose that keeps coming back.

 

Attractive, young people with clipboards trying to flirt with you in the High Street so you give ?10 a month to some charity or other. Actually, I've decided I like this.

 

Being ignored by bar staff.

 

Doing night feeds (I have a two month old son).

 

The Americanised way many teenagers speak these days, every third word is 'like' and every statement sounds like a question. It makes me want to punch them. (I don't really)

 

The fact I sometimes want to punch teenagers. (I lied earlier)

 

Leggings on women and, I suppose, on men too.

 

The funereal tone of Bruce Forsyth and Philip Schofield when announcing which celebrity is being evicted from their silly dancing programmes. 'And now, the moment of truth'.

 

Neds in Celtic or Rangers strips in Dunfermline town centre, in fact anywhere.

 

Drunk people coming up and slavering pish at you.

 

Boy racers.

 

Sunbathing. What's the point?

 

I'd like to echo the earlier shout for the band 'Scouting for Girls'. I think it's important we all do.

 

Swimming.

 

Mushrooms in lasagne. They're not supposed to be there.

 

Music critics who build up bands like Arctic Monkeys and Kaiser Chiefs and then slag them off once they have mainstream success.

 

Big Issue sellers on mobile phones.

 

Valentine's Day. What a load of ****e.

 

Parents who smack their kids in public.

 

Parents who swear at their kids in public.

 

Parents who dress their kids in Burberry.

 

Parents who give their kids appalling names. It is a form of child abuse IMO.

 

Rap, hip hop or whatever young people call it these days.

 

The songs 'Dancing in the moonlight', 'You're gorgeous' and 'Breakfast at Tiffanys'. Those bands should've been 0 hit wonders.

 

Celebrity magazines.

 

Women who are obsessed with 'their' soap operas.

 

Awkward silences.

 

Breaking in new shoes.

 

Celebrity chefs.

 

Lenny Henry. Did the BBC give him a 50 year contract in 1982?

 

People who refer to Great Britain as England, usually Americans.

 

Awards ceremonies.

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1. Stupid Wee Lassies that think they are Hard

2. People who take pics of thereselves looking in the mirror [Your phone has a self timer....USE IT]

3. Mushrooms

4. Ham Pizza

5. Daddy Long Legs :(

6. Annoying Drunk Guys on the street, that tend to come up to you when you are sober and talk a lot of rubbish.

7. Getting up in the Morning

8. John Collins

9. Wayne Rooney

10. Hibs!!!

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1. Feet.

2. The sound of folk eating.

3. Folk who dont drive in the greenways even though they are unoperational.

4. Generally mince drivers.

5. Liars.

6. Self obsessed attention seekers.

7. Chicks that take about a day and a half to get ready for a night out which lasts only a few hours.

8. Monday mornings.

9. Football being played on a Sunday.

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Edinburgh Taxi drivers. Charge an arm and a leg then try and mow down anyone in their path. They also love a dangerous u-turn.

 

Folk who ignore zebra crossings (or get annoyed when someone uses one).

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2. People who take pics of thereselves looking in the mirror [Your phone has a self timer....USE IT]

 

Is looking in a mirror not easier seeing as you dont have to guess where the camera is pointing?

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chester copperpot

People who tell you they've given up smoking, head 4 or 5 times to use your bathroom and obviously have a quick fag in there with the window open.

 

My ultimate pet hate.

 

Father in Laws are also a bit hated by me.

 

Weegie's.

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Dr Ian Malcolm

Ashley Cole

 

People who use the outside lane on the motorway/bypass and drive at the same speed as those in the inside lane.

 

Tim Westwood - you're not a gangster or "The Big Dog", you're 50, the closest you'll get to being a crip is tripping over you're slippers or ridiculously large silver chain and breaking your hip.

 

Tom Cruise - You're a little wierdo, how the hell you're married to Katie Holmes is beyond me, and you're dragging her down with you. Scientology my arse.

 

Having to get up for things - waking up of your own accord is what God intended.

 

Paris Hilton - whats the point of you? Even you're sex tape was pish.

 

Assistant referees - they clearly see an incident yet refuse to get involved.

 

The title "Asisstant Referees" - what was wrong with linesman?

 

Pay & Display parking.

 

People who run up to put a bet on on the bell and expect me to be able to 1. find the price 2. write it on the slip and 3. get their bet on in the fraction of a second before the race goes off.

 

English commentators commentating on Scottish games (more so Internationals) - just doesn't sound right. "Disaster for Scotland" sounds like a disaster when said in a Scottish accent.

 

Poeple who say the Premiership is the bet league in the world. Any league where its possible for Bolton to play Middlesbrough isn't the best of its kind in the world.

 

Not knowing the time.

 

People with a lack of spacial awareness (especially at gigs).

 

Bouncers who feel the need to treat you like sh*te is part of the job.

 

Speedbumps, and people who go over them at 1mph - its not a landmine.

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People in the Co-Op that only seem to do their shopping when you're in a hurry, then get to the queue before you and misinterpret the cashier's nonchalant comment about the weather as an invitation to start a full blown debate about climate change and how it affects one's gout.

 

Pete Docherty - Michelle McManus has more talent in her hideous, flab encased little toe than that little scrotebag and she's absolute crud.

 

Pondlife. Neds. They should be placed in a colony somewhere and left to chib each other into extinction. Escape from New York was not a film. It was a dynamic multimedia business plan.

 

Old women that presume I give a flying **** about singing for their coffin dodging church choir, then assume that I'm the antichrist when I tell them that I'm not religious. Next time, I'll daub "666" backwards on my forehead in chicken blood and tell you to feck off in Swahili.

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People who use the outside lane on the motorway/bypass and drive at the same speed as those in the inside lane.

 

Lorry drivers that go to overtake, then don't actually pass anything until you've travelled roughly the length of the country should also be detonated somehow. If they were designed for speed, they'd be fast, now, wouldn't they? How I wish stinger missiles were an acceptable car modification.....

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People who go to bars to drink coffee.

 

People who call Miller, 'millers'.

 

People who sit at a table in a restaurant that isn't set up when there is a perfectly ready table a couple of feet away.

 

People who bitch at waiters for the amount of food they get in a dish. Like we have anything to do with it.

 

People who ask to have another dish be the side (instead of something like chips or salad) food on their meal but won't pay the extra for it.

 

Hot chocolate drinkers, what are you? Six?

 

People who come up to the coffee station, tell you their coffee order and then bugger off and sit down. It's not the bar and who says you are allowed to pay when your allowed to go? Imagine doing this with drinks at a bar or club - 'Hey, two VK's, sitting over in the corner, cheers'.

 

People who don't treat staff with respect. You do understand we can very easily spit in your food and drinks?

 

 

If any of this applies to anybody on here, stay the **** out of the Agenda.

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chester copperpot
People who call Miller, 'millers'.

 

 

 

A fantastic shout mate, I fecking detest people who do it, especially those who drink the stuff regularly.

 

Its Frigging Miller, not Millers.

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People who go to bars to drink coffee.

 

People who call Miller, 'millers'.

 

People who sit at a table in a restaurant that isn't set up when there is a perfectly ready table a couple of feet away.

 

People who bitch at waiters for the amount of food they get in a dish. Like we have anything to do with it.

 

People who ask to have another dish be the side (instead of something like chips or salad) food on their meal but won't pay the extra for it.

 

I hear ya brother!

 

The one in bold, I've had an entire seating area, able to take 40-50 people, free except for one table. Where do the next customers want to sit? The one table that has plates on it.

 

The bit in red? "I'll have the mixed grill but I don't want pineapple on the gammon. Can I have some extra sausages instead? Oh, and I don't wan't garlic bread with the lasagne, I'll replace that with chips, thanks." Sound familiar?

 

Since when was a pineapple ring and some bread equivalent to bloody sausages and chips? The menu's priced for a friggin' reason you w******!!

 

Vengeance will be slow and painful....

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The Mighty Thor

Feckless kids.

Lazy arsed parents of the above.

Anyone driving using a phone.

Americanisation of our country and culture.

Muffin tops - Why if your a bit heavy wear jeans with a spare tyre over the waistband? I don't want to see it.

Faaaarking sales calls - No i don't want a conservatory, my phones fine and i couldn't give a faaark if one-tel is 0.0000005 pence cheaper per minute.

Anyone that wears a hat while driving is a ****. Fact.

Fake tan - you don't look bronzed love, you look orange.

Cyclists. Kants. Every last one of them. Anyone that's ever lived in London will testify to that.

Nightclub/Pub door staff. Surely having an IQ above 10 is a pre-requisite?

people that order food 'to go' - it's to take-away you halfwits.

 

Loads of things......i'll be back when i remember them.

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Yank golfing tourists who assume that because you live in St Andrews you must love everything golf and look at you like you're a child killer when you say that it doesn't interest you.

 

Although, since I look a bit like Ian Huntley, quite a few people look at me like I'm a child killer....

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I P Knightley

Cyclists. Kants. Every last one of them. Anyone that's ever lived in London will testify to that.

.

 

Was that you the other evening loitering in the middle of the cycle lane by the A40 eating a burger or something?

 

If so, I'm sorry for cycling along the cycle lane and yelling at you suddenly, causing you to drop your burger and, in all likelihood, papper your kex.

 

You see, I thought with it being a marked cycle lane & all, you'd have been wary for oncoming cyclists and would've stood to the side as I approached.

 

I'd've stopped but I didn't have a camera.

 

You'll be pleased to know that the burger has been cleared up and the cycle lane is once more free & clear.

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The Mighty Thor
Example, struggling to work that one out.

 

The type of kids Andy that mope around your local chip shop/kebab shop/off licence in groups of 10 or more and when it inevitably goes pear-shaped their war cry is generally 'thurs nuhing tae dae'

 

i'm starting to come over all Daily Mail!

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chester copperpot
The type of kids Andy that mope around your local chip shop/kebab shop/off licence in groups of 10 or more and when it inevitably goes pear-shaped their war cry is generally 'thurs nuhing tae dae'

 

i'm starting to come over all Daily Mail!

 

 

 

I'd just never heard of the expression before.

 

So basically kids who's parents dont give a flying where they are at 10pm at night.

 

Smoking outside the SPAR, asking anyone who goes past if they'll 'Buy drink for me mister'.

 

I dont like them either.

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The Mighty Thor
Was that you the other evening loitering in the middle of the cycle lane by the A40 eating a burger or something?

 

If so, I'm sorry for cycling along the cycle lane and yelling at you suddenly, causing you to drop your burger and, in all likelihood, papper your kex.

 

You see, I thought with it being a marked cycle lane & all, you'd have been wary for oncoming cyclists and would've stood to the side as I approached.

 

I'd've stopped but I didn't have a camera.

 

You'll be pleased to know that the burger has been cleared up and the cycle lane is once more free & clear.

 

Nah mate I used to have the daily battle with the wheeled vermin on my motorbike. Car drivers have to take a test and have a basic understanding of the road. Motorcyclists the same. Cyclists nope, ?49 for a mountain bike out of Woolies, stick something resembling a colander on your head and off you go wreaking mayhem son.

 

If you cycle within the cycle lanes in London you are in a considerable minority.

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The Mighty Thor
I'd just never heard of the expression before.

 

So basically kids who's parents dont give a flying where they are at 10pm at night.

 

Smoking outside the SPAR, asking anyone who goes past if they'll 'Buy drink for me mister'.

 

I dont like them either.

 

That's the ones.

 

10pm? Most of them are just going out about then.

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chester copperpot
That's the ones.

 

10pm? Most of them are just going out about then.

 

 

 

Exactly, thats when the parents send them out to play ;)

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I P Knightley
Nah mate I used to have the daily battle with the wheeled vermin on my motorbike. Car drivers have to take a test and have a basic understanding of the road. Motorcyclists the same. Cyclists nope, ?49 for a mountain bike out of Woolies, stick something resembling a colander on your head and off you go wreaking mayhem son.

 

If you cycle within the cycle lanes in London you are in a considerable minority.

 

I know the ones you mean - usually the courier cyclists. But in their defence, until you try cycling in town, you don't realise that there's little alternative to being aggressive in many situations.

 

Half the cycle lanes are death traps with pot-holes & raised drain covers and then they just peter out when it comes to a junction or the road narrows.

 

Other cycle lanes are actually sharing the pavement with pedestrians.

 

They're never policed for cars parking in them, forcing the cyclists back into the main stream of traffic.

 

It's a joke. The Mayor's lot will tell anyone listening that they've provided x-hundred miles of cycle lane when all they've done is supply a few pots of paint and a couple of signs.

 

Then you get the nob cyclists who refuse to wear the colander - they get right on my tabs!

 

I pay my road fund licence (twice) so feel somewhat justified in having a rant about it.

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People that talk at the cinemas - Good idea guys. Spend around ?10 on tickets and food to watch a movie but just talk through it. Fuds.

 

Bus drivers, Pedestrians, Cyclists - Pain in the jacksy.

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The Mighty Thor
I know the ones you mean - usually the courier cyclists. But in their defence, until you try cycling in town, you don't realise that there's little alternative to being aggressive in many situations.

 

Half the cycle lanes are death traps with pot-holes & raised drain covers and then they just peter out when it comes to a junction or the road narrows.

 

Other cycle lanes are actually sharing the pavement with pedestrians.

 

They're never policed for cars parking in them, forcing the cyclists back into the main stream of traffic.

 

It's a joke. The Mayor's lot will tell anyone listening that they've provided x-hundred miles of cycle lane when all they've done is supply a few pots of paint and a couple of signs.

 

Then you get the nob cyclists who refuse to wear the colander - they get right on my tabs!

 

I pay my road fund licence (twice) so feel somewhat justified in having a rant about it.

 

A cyclist hit me, sort of glanced off me and crashed, in Wandsworth one morning whilst i was riding into work. The cheeky kant got up shouting the odds at me. He'd been cycling on the pavement with his I-pod on and never heard the bike coming and just came flying off the pavement to join the main road. It clouded my judgement a wee bit.

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Speedbumps, and people who go over them at 1mph - its not a landmine.

 

When your willing to stump up the money for a replacement manifold / downpipe / center section and 3 piece splitter - then and only then will you be in a position to criticise driving over speedbumps slowly.....

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The Mighty Thor

shop staff that can't look you in the eye. Is customer service too much to ask for when i'm spending my hard earned.

Folk in their 50's wearing bluetooth headsets in Tesco. No one's going to call you. You're not in the Minority Report.

People that say 'dude'.

Girls that wear sovvys on every finger.

Jeans halfway down someones arse. Pull them up or buy the right size.

Women golfers. Why? No seriously why?

Fag ends everywhere. Put them in a bin you lazy dirty kants.

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I P Knightley

 

Women golfers. Why? No seriously why?

 

We just got a new one at our club. It was all wrong as she looks under 30 and is extremely tidy (and can hit the ball).

 

I have written an appropriate letter to the committee.

 

 

On another matter, I went to a bar last night, ordered my beer (bottled) and the barman said, "just take a seat and I'll bring it over to you." When he brought it to me, I offered to pay and he said, "I'll get it later."

 

With all that helpful, friendly customer-oriented approach, I just had to confirm. "You don't post on Jambos Kickback, do you?"

 

I was right.

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The Mighty Thor
We just got a new one at our club. It was all wrong as she looks under 30 and is extremely tidy (and can hit the ball).

 

I have written an appropriate letter to the committee.

 

 

On another matter, I went to a bar last night, ordered my beer (bottled) and the barman said, "just take a seat and I'll bring it over to you." When he brought it to me, I offered to pay and he said, "I'll get it later."

 

With all that helpful, friendly customer-oriented approach, I just had to confirm. "You don't post on Jambos Kickback, do you?"

 

I was right.

 

Sadly the women members at my club are of a certain age and are rather fond of holding fairly lengthy discussions between shots often walking together to one players ball then crossing the fairway to the other players ball continuing the conversation. You lose the will to live behind them.

 

Customer service in London is a different animal to the 'aye, what ur ye wantin' in dear old Edinburgh. I miss it.

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I P Knightley
Sadly the women members at my club are of a certain age and are rather fond of holding fairly lengthy discussions between shots often walking together to one players ball then crossing the fairway to the other players ball continuing the conversation. You lose the will to live behind them.

 

 

The same for the majority of ours (and they get all upset if you try to have a quiet word about letting the menfolk through or if you offer them the chance of a nosh or something); which is why I was alarmed that there was some totty there at the weekend. I thought it must have meant that the earth has spun off its axis or something.

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I hate it when you go into a clothes shop and the staff act like they're your new best mate. I really, really just want to buy clothes and leave.

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chester copperpot
I hate it when you go into a clothes shop and the staff act like they're your new best mate. I really, really just want to buy clothes and leave.

 

 

 

Same applies for buying a new car.

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The Old Tolbooth
Same applies for buying a new car.

 

Exactly! I wouldnt mind if I was allowed to actually get in the door and look around before being pounced on!! Bloody leeches!

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chester copperpot
Exactly! I wouldnt mind if I was allowed to actually get in the door and look around before being pounced on!! Bloody leeches!

 

 

 

Thats why our internet sites for our cars were so much more hassle.

 

When I went to pick up my motor from Motorpoint, I swear there was an argument between 2 of the ***** as to which one was going to come out and serve me.

 

He was gutted when I told him I'd purchased it over the internet.

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The Mighty Thor
The same for the majority of ours (and they get all upset if you try to have a quiet word about letting the menfolk through or if you offer them the chance of a nosh or something); which is why I was alarmed that there was some totty there at the weekend. I thought it must have meant that the earth has spun off its axis or something.

 

:rofl::rofl:

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blondejamtart

Have to agree on the car salesmen thing - and it's 10 times worse if you happen to be female! They automatically assume that because you're a woman, you know nothing whatsoever about cars and treat you like some kind of airhead. I once went to buy a new car and looked at the model I had in mind, only to be told by the patronising git of a salesman "that's a very powerful car, dear - are you sure you would be able to handle it?" I was tempted to ask him if he could handle spending the rest of his life without any balls.......:whistling:

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Have to agree on the car salesmen thing - and it's 10 times worse if you happen to be female! They automatically assume that because you're a woman, you know nothing whatsoever about cars and treat you like some kind of airhead. I once went to buy a new car and looked at the model I had in mind, only to be told by the patronising git of a salesman "that's a very powerful car, dear - are you sure you would be able to handle it?" I was tempted to ask him if he could handle spending the rest of his life without any balls.......:whistling:

 

Or you get the ones who think you're a macho airhead like them.

When I bought my car some years back, the guy at Arnold Clark kept going on about the electric windows.

I asked him what was so special about them and he replied: "I'll answer that with a question sir. Tell me my friend, will you be sleeping alone tonight......?"

 

Suffice to say, the windows have to date, not lived up to his promise!

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Black 'culture' - gold chains, obscenely expensive trainers & shellsuits. Some culture.

 

The new English accent - all kids regardless of ethnic origin trying to sound like a '****** from the ghetto', innit.

Glasgow accents

Scouse accents

Religious fundamentalists of any religion

The 'world community'- whatever that is

 

The crappy motorways in this country

Cucumber

 

Nepotistic Tory MPs ripping off the taxpayer while slagging off 'dole scroungers'.

Warm lager

Sunshine on Leith (aaargh!!!)

 

The Daily ****** who always print articles like 'Glesga izza best place inna wurruld fur concerts'

The Daily ****** who always print articles like 'famous celeb has Scottish nanny/auntie/love of Irn Bru. It's cringeworthy.

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