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Crazy Ex’s


Lord BJ
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Lord BJ

Following on from the amber v Johnny thread. 
 

Thought a thread for discussing crazy ex’s or ‘friends’ crazy exs might yield a bit humour. 
 

So JKB let’s hear about your crazy ex stories😃

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Sooperstar

I don't think anyone will top the guy who got kidnapped by his ex. Except her.

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Salad Fingers

This should be good :jjyay:

 

I've still got a scar on my forehead from my ex. 

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1 minute ago, Salad Fingers said:

This should be good :jjyay:

 

I've still got a scar on my forehead from my ex. 

Just below the bottom lip for me from an ex when I was in my early 20’s. Apparently my fault as I was annoying her. Which somehow is a good enough excuse to punch someone in the face. 

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Salad Fingers
4 minutes ago, Tazio said:

Just below the bottom lip for me from an ex when I was in my early 20’s. Apparently my fault as I was annoying her. Which somehow is a good enough excuse to punch someone in the face. 

 

Disgusting when you think about it. You would probably have done time for that. 

 

Mines was because I didn't hear her ringing the buzzer when she came home so she had to ring the neighbours to let her in. 

:cornette:

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PTBCAL

Kids Mum chucked hot boiling water over me whilst in the bath 🙁

 

I had to cheek to criticise her attempt at painting my bedroom. Which I didn’t  ask her to do or was even aware about it in advance. Had to get a painter in to sort professionally.

 

Thankfully mark disappeared after about 5 years…

 

I disappeared after 12 years 🤣

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Salad Fingers
4 minutes ago, PTBCAL said:

Kids Mum chucked hot boiling water over me whilst in the bath 🙁

 

I had to cheek to criticise her attempt at painting my bedroom. Which I didn’t  ask her to do or was even aware about it in advance. Had to get a painter in to sort professionally.

 

Thankfully mark disappeared after about 5 years…

 

I disappeared after 12 years 🤣

 

That's mental :wow:

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ArcticJambo
8 minutes ago, Salad Fingers said:

 

Disgusting when you think about it. You would probably have done time for that. 

 

Mines was because I didn't hear her ringing the buzzer when she came home so she had to ring the neighbours to let her in. 

:cornette:

Pssed out already, nap!

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Morgan

Mild by comparison to the injuries and the boiling water incidents already mentioned, but I had a wrist slasher.

 

🙄

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chuck berrys hairline

Mines tried to run at me with a jigsaw once not realising the plug had came out the wall 😂 another time had a blade at my throat, egged her on she didn't do it (shitebag) Numerous scars on my back and torso from fighting and sex. Tbf she had came out an abusive relationship which she still deals with to this day. Best of pals now but **** me women are mental! If i didnt have my son with her doubt id have seen her again... 👀

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Fs. 

 

Did no one here use the steak pie method when choosing a bursd?

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tightrope
10 minutes ago, Steak said:

Fs. 

 

Did no one here use the steak pie method when choosing a bursd?

? Intrigued 

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John Findlay

Can I ask how many of these ex females were arrested, charged and convicted?

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Salad Fingers
4 minutes ago, John Findlay said:

Can I ask how many of these ex females were arrested, charged and convicted?

 

As far as I know mine is still a female. 

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John Findlay
1 minute ago, Salad Fingers said:

 

As far as I know mine is still a female. 

Lol, very good. Ye Kent what I meant😉

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Salad Fingers
1 minute ago, John Findlay said:

Lol, very good. Ye Kent what I meant😉

 

To be honest, when it happened to me I just couldn't be bothered with the hassle of getting the police involved. She didn't get physical ever again but she screwed with me mentally for a few years afterwards.

 

Been split up for six years now and I'm happier and more relaxed than I've ever been. 

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1971fozzy

Was in the haymarkket bar once after finishing with a girlfriend and she marched in out of the blue and right hooked me. Whole bar just went silent

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JudyJudyJudy
14 minutes ago, Salad Fingers said:

 

As far as I know mine is still a female. 

good one :) 

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JudyJudyJudy

What about if your the " crazy ex " ???? 😁

 

 

 

236c1b00ab1d5d205ee51e1e39c7992c.gif

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AlimOzturk

Had an ex dad once chase me out the house in my boxer shorts with hack saw. 
 

also had an ex finish with me after I gifted her a pair of timberline boots and a lg cookie phone. She probably text with the same phone i gifted her. 
 

😂

 

thankfully happily married now two beautiful kids. 

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Restonbabe

I must have lucked in been with my man for 22 years. Met when we were 15. He was 16. Never laid hands on each other. 5 kids now. Were lovers not fighters. 

I know a lot of psyco bitches that probably deserved a bitch slap

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50 minutes ago, tightrope said:

? Intrigued 

 

Dating App thread. Steak pies are a big thing when choosing a bird

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Smithee
Just now, Restonbabe said:

I must have lucked in been with my man for 22 years. Met when we were 15. He was 16. Never laid hands on each other. 5 kids now. Were lovers not fighters. 

I know a lot of psyco bitches that probably deserved a bitch slap

:laugh2: they sound delightful!

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John Findlay
44 minutes ago, Salad Fingers said:

 

To be honest, when it happened to me I just couldn't be bothered with the hassle of getting the police involved. She didn't get physical ever again but she screwed with me mentally for a few years afterwards.

 

Been split up for six years now and I'm happier and more relaxed than I've ever been. 

Very pleased to hear that.

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Morgan
28 minutes ago, rudi must stay said:

I live in a cupboard to avoid my wife. 

‘Wrong way round’ type post imo.

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PTBCAL
1 hour ago, John Findlay said:

Can I ask how many of these ex females were arrested, charged and convicted?


I ended up having 3 kids with her 

 

All good Jambos at least 

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Kalamazoo Jambo
3 hours ago, chuck berrys hairline said:

Mines tried to run at me with a jigsaw once


Same thing happened to me. Everything went to pieces right after that :(

 

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Herbert.

Before I met my wife I was seeing a lassie casually and she was awright just regular mental but her ex was mental as ****. He was a angry Greek guy that held her hostage a few times, Used to chuck her in the back of his work van and drive about for hours. She would make me hide if he appeared, She was a bit of a bunny boiler so was glad to get shot.

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tightrope
1 hour ago, Steak said:

 

Dating App thread. Steak pies are a big thing when choosing a bird

I must be thick or more pissed than I thought.....as in how many they have ate?

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tightrope
2 minutes ago, tightrope said:

I must be thick or more pissed than I thought.....as in how many they have ate?

Had a mate ( honest wasn't me) who's ex gave him the ....come up I'm horny, no expectations phone call after his mate had just been up...if you know what I mean. Wouldn't let him do anything other than head south...if you know what I mean yet again. She took the pleasure of telling him by text after he left.... Vomit inducing. 

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9 minutes ago, tightrope said:

I must be thick or more pissed than I thought.....as in how many they have ate?

 

Naww. If they treat you too a steak pie then it has to be a decent one

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jonesy
2 hours ago, AlimOzturk said:

Had an ex dad once chase me out the house in my boxer shorts with hack saw. 
 

also had an ex finish with me after I gifted her a pair of timberline boots and a lg cookie phone. She probably text with the same phone i gifted her. 
 

😂

 

thankfully happily married now two beautiful kids. 

Why was he wearing your boxers?

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3 minutes ago, jonesy said:

Why was he wearing your boxers?

 

Defo Lockys 2nd account 

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tightrope
14 minutes ago, Steak said:

 

Naww. If they treat you too a steak pie then it has to be a decent one

Lol👍

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Dennis Reynolds

I had an ex turn up at my door as her best mate was in my bed. Didn't want anything to do with me until all of a sudden she wanted to get back together at that very moment. Did actually feel quite bad for a bit but she absolutely terrorised me for months so that soon disappeared. Ended up moving cities to get away from her. 

 

Don't think either of us came out of it in a good light to be fair but I was young and dumb.

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John Findlay
1 hour ago, tightrope said:

Had a mate ( honest wasn't me) who's ex gave him the ....come up I'm horny, no expectations phone call after his mate had just been up...if you know what I mean. Wouldn't let him do anything other than head south...if you know what I mean yet again. She took the pleasure of telling him by text after he left.... Vomit inducing. 

Brings an all new meaning to sloppy seconds.

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Auld Reekin'
3 hours ago, Herbert. said:

Before I met my wife I was seeing a lassie casually and she was awright just regular mental but her ex was mental as ****. He was a angry Greek guy that held her hostage a few times, Used to chuck her in the back of his work van and drive about for hours. She would make me hide if he appeared, She was a bit of a bunny boiler so was glad to get shot.

 

Because, after you'd recovered from surgery and your wound had healed, she was safely in gaol for attempted murder d'you mean? (Assuming she didn't hit anything vital, or essential-to-reproduction, that is?) :huh:

 

She does sound really crazy, right enough. :icon14:

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Auld Reekin'
Posted (edited)

Well, there was me thinking I'd had my share of nutjob exes but compared to some of the ones above, I've actually been pretty lucky with my women (so far).

 

My girlfriend of over 22 years standing does have her moments however...

 :1132:  :tlj: :facepalm: :wallbash: :booze:

Edited by Auld Reekin'
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1971fozzy
3 hours ago, Herbert. said:

Before I met my wife I was seeing a lassie casually and she was awright just regular mental but her ex was mental as ****. He was a angry Greek guy that held her hostage a few times, Used to chuck her in the back of his work van and drive about for hours. She would make me hide if he appeared, She was a bit of a bunny boiler so was glad to get shot.


😱😱😱😱

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Had a short thing with my Aunt's good friend when I was younger. Anyway after a night out at 3am she was drunk and horny walking by my house and tried to wake me up by chucking some gravel at my window to get my attention.

 

Biggest problem was it was a small boulder and my parents bedroom window. And yeah it went right through.

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Ulysses
3 hours ago, Kalamazoo Jambo said:


Same thing happened to me. Everything went to pieces right after that :(

 

 

:indeed:

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Herbert.
3 hours ago, Auld Reekin' said:

 

Because, after you'd recovered from surgery and your wound had healed, she was safely in gaol for attempted murder d'you mean? (Assuming she didn't hit anything vital, or essential-to-reproduction, that is?) :huh:

 

She does sound really crazy, right enough. :icon14:

 

 

Don't think she would have shot me, some low level stalking was more her level. she did threw me out her house early hours one morning when she got angry that I never made enough noise during sex. The ex would've shot me though ****ing mad man. 

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Herbert.
3 hours ago, Homme said:

Had a short thing with my Aunt's good friend when I was younger. Anyway after a night out at 3am she was drunk and horny walking by my house and tried to wake me up by chucking some gravel at my window to get my attention.

 

Biggest problem was it was a small boulder and my parents bedroom window. And yeah it went right through.

 

 

Did you let her in? 

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4 hours ago, Herbert. said:

 

 

Did you let her in? 

 

That was the end of it that night. She quickly went onto a mate and they were together years until fairly recently :lol:

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Marvin
15 hours ago, Morgan said:

@Marvin?

 

 

 

🤣 She's still in prison. That's 13 years I think. 

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Ribble

Not really an ex, more just a one night stand but definitely crazy

 

was in my local one night gets chatting to this girl and we end up going back to mine at her suggestion, once in bed she seemed to just be going through the motions and not really all that into it, so next morning she leaves and I think nothing more of it until a few days later when an old mate of mine got in touch, we’d not spoken in over 10 years but it turns out she was his ex from a short lived relationship about 4 years prior. She’d been attempting to make him jealous by sleeping with me and had stalked his friends list on fb, seen me and worked out where my local was. His only reaction was to say I’d be mental to go anywhere near her again, which I had no intention of doing anyway. 

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Auld Reekin'
5 hours ago, Herbert. said:

 

 

Don't think she would have shot me, some low level stalking was more her level. she did threw me out her house early hours one morning when she got angry that I never made enough noise during sex. The ex would've shot me though ****ing mad man. 


:lol:

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