Lord BJ Posted May 27 Share Posted May 27 Following on from the amber v Johnny thread. Thought a thread for discussing crazy ex’s or ‘friends’ crazy exs might yield a bit humour. So JKB let’s hear about your crazy ex stories😃 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sooperstar Posted May 27 Share Posted May 27 I don't think anyone will top the guy who got kidnapped by his ex. Except her. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Salad Fingers Posted May 27 Share Posted May 27 This should be good I've still got a scar on my forehead from my ex. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tazio Posted May 27 Share Posted May 27 1 minute ago, Salad Fingers said: This should be good I've still got a scar on my forehead from my ex. Just below the bottom lip for me from an ex when I was in my early 20’s. Apparently my fault as I was annoying her. Which somehow is a good enough excuse to punch someone in the face. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lord BJ Posted May 27 Author Share Posted May 27 (edited) . Edited May 27 by Lord BJ Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Salad Fingers Posted May 27 Share Posted May 27 4 minutes ago, Tazio said: Just below the bottom lip for me from an ex when I was in my early 20’s. Apparently my fault as I was annoying her. Which somehow is a good enough excuse to punch someone in the face. Disgusting when you think about it. You would probably have done time for that. Mines was because I didn't hear her ringing the buzzer when she came home so she had to ring the neighbours to let her in. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PTBCAL Posted May 27 Share Posted May 27 Kids Mum chucked hot boiling water over me whilst in the bath 🙁 I had to cheek to criticise her attempt at painting my bedroom. Which I didn’t ask her to do or was even aware about it in advance. Had to get a painter in to sort professionally. Thankfully mark disappeared after about 5 years… I disappeared after 12 years 🤣 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Salad Fingers Posted May 27 Share Posted May 27 4 minutes ago, PTBCAL said: Kids Mum chucked hot boiling water over me whilst in the bath 🙁 I had to cheek to criticise her attempt at painting my bedroom. Which I didn’t ask her to do or was even aware about it in advance. Had to get a painter in to sort professionally. Thankfully mark disappeared after about 5 years… I disappeared after 12 years 🤣 That's mental Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ArcticJambo Posted May 27 Share Posted May 27 8 minutes ago, Salad Fingers said: Disgusting when you think about it. You would probably have done time for that. Mines was because I didn't hear her ringing the buzzer when she came home so she had to ring the neighbours to let her in. Pssed out already, nap! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Morgan Posted May 27 Share Posted May 27 @Marvin? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Morgan Posted May 27 Share Posted May 27 Mild by comparison to the injuries and the boiling water incidents already mentioned, but I had a wrist slasher. 🙄 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chuck berrys hairline Posted May 27 Share Posted May 27 Mines tried to run at me with a jigsaw once not realising the plug had came out the wall 😂 another time had a blade at my throat, egged her on she didn't do it (shitebag) Numerous scars on my back and torso from fighting and sex. Tbf she had came out an abusive relationship which she still deals with to this day. Best of pals now but **** me women are mental! If i didnt have my son with her doubt id have seen her again... 👀 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jeff Posted May 27 Share Posted May 27 Fs. Did no one here use the steak pie method when choosing a bursd? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tightrope Posted May 27 Share Posted May 27 10 minutes ago, Steak said: Fs. Did no one here use the steak pie method when choosing a bursd? ? Intrigued Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
John Findlay Posted May 27 Share Posted May 27 Can I ask how many of these ex females were arrested, charged and convicted? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Salad Fingers Posted May 27 Share Posted May 27 4 minutes ago, John Findlay said: Can I ask how many of these ex females were arrested, charged and convicted? As far as I know mine is still a female. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
John Findlay Posted May 27 Share Posted May 27 1 minute ago, Salad Fingers said: As far as I know mine is still a female. Lol, very good. Ye Kent what I meant😉 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Salad Fingers Posted May 27 Share Posted May 27 1 minute ago, John Findlay said: Lol, very good. Ye Kent what I meant😉 To be honest, when it happened to me I just couldn't be bothered with the hassle of getting the police involved. She didn't get physical ever again but she screwed with me mentally for a few years afterwards. Been split up for six years now and I'm happier and more relaxed than I've ever been. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
1971fozzy Posted May 27 Share Posted May 27 Was in the haymarkket bar once after finishing with a girlfriend and she marched in out of the blue and right hooked me. Whole bar just went silent Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JudyJudyJudy Posted May 27 Share Posted May 27 14 minutes ago, Salad Fingers said: As far as I know mine is still a female. good one Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JudyJudyJudy Posted May 27 Share Posted May 27 What about if your the " crazy ex " ???? 😁 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AlimOzturk Posted May 27 Share Posted May 27 Had an ex dad once chase me out the house in my boxer shorts with hack saw. also had an ex finish with me after I gifted her a pair of timberline boots and a lg cookie phone. She probably text with the same phone i gifted her. 😂 thankfully happily married now two beautiful kids. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rudi must stay Posted May 27 Share Posted May 27 I live in a cupboard to avoid my wife. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Restonbabe Posted May 27 Share Posted May 27 I must have lucked in been with my man for 22 years. Met when we were 15. He was 16. Never laid hands on each other. 5 kids now. Were lovers not fighters. I know a lot of psyco bitches that probably deserved a bitch slap Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jeff Posted May 27 Share Posted May 27 50 minutes ago, tightrope said: ? Intrigued Dating App thread. Steak pies are a big thing when choosing a bird Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Smithee Posted May 27 Share Posted May 27 Just now, Restonbabe said: I must have lucked in been with my man for 22 years. Met when we were 15. He was 16. Never laid hands on each other. 5 kids now. Were lovers not fighters. I know a lot of psyco bitches that probably deserved a bitch slap they sound delightful! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
John Findlay Posted May 27 Share Posted May 27 44 minutes ago, Salad Fingers said: To be honest, when it happened to me I just couldn't be bothered with the hassle of getting the police involved. She didn't get physical ever again but she screwed with me mentally for a few years afterwards. Been split up for six years now and I'm happier and more relaxed than I've ever been. Very pleased to hear that. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Morgan Posted May 27 Share Posted May 27 28 minutes ago, rudi must stay said: I live in a cupboard to avoid my wife. ‘Wrong way round’ type post imo. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PTBCAL Posted May 27 Share Posted May 27 1 hour ago, John Findlay said: Can I ask how many of these ex females were arrested, charged and convicted? I ended up having 3 kids with her All good Jambos at least Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kalamazoo Jambo Posted May 27 Share Posted May 27 3 hours ago, chuck berrys hairline said: Mines tried to run at me with a jigsaw once Same thing happened to me. Everything went to pieces right after that Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Herbert. Posted May 27 Share Posted May 27 Before I met my wife I was seeing a lassie casually and she was awright just regular mental but her ex was mental as ****. He was a angry Greek guy that held her hostage a few times, Used to chuck her in the back of his work van and drive about for hours. She would make me hide if he appeared, She was a bit of a bunny boiler so was glad to get shot. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tightrope Posted May 27 Share Posted May 27 1 hour ago, Steak said: Dating App thread. Steak pies are a big thing when choosing a bird I must be thick or more pissed than I thought.....as in how many they have ate? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tightrope Posted May 27 Share Posted May 27 2 minutes ago, tightrope said: I must be thick or more pissed than I thought.....as in how many they have ate? Had a mate ( honest wasn't me) who's ex gave him the ....come up I'm horny, no expectations phone call after his mate had just been up...if you know what I mean. Wouldn't let him do anything other than head south...if you know what I mean yet again. She took the pleasure of telling him by text after he left.... Vomit inducing. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jeff Posted May 27 Share Posted May 27 9 minutes ago, tightrope said: I must be thick or more pissed than I thought.....as in how many they have ate? Naww. If they treat you too a steak pie then it has to be a decent one Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jonesy Posted May 27 Share Posted May 27 2 hours ago, AlimOzturk said: Had an ex dad once chase me out the house in my boxer shorts with hack saw. also had an ex finish with me after I gifted her a pair of timberline boots and a lg cookie phone. She probably text with the same phone i gifted her. 😂 thankfully happily married now two beautiful kids. Why was he wearing your boxers? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jeff Posted May 27 Share Posted May 27 3 minutes ago, jonesy said: Why was he wearing your boxers? Defo Lockys 2nd account Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tightrope Posted May 27 Share Posted May 27 14 minutes ago, Steak said: Naww. If they treat you too a steak pie then it has to be a decent one Lol👍 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dennis Reynolds Posted May 27 Share Posted May 27 I had an ex turn up at my door as her best mate was in my bed. Didn't want anything to do with me until all of a sudden she wanted to get back together at that very moment. Did actually feel quite bad for a bit but she absolutely terrorised me for months so that soon disappeared. Ended up moving cities to get away from her. Don't think either of us came out of it in a good light to be fair but I was young and dumb. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
John Findlay Posted May 27 Share Posted May 27 1 hour ago, tightrope said: Had a mate ( honest wasn't me) who's ex gave him the ....come up I'm horny, no expectations phone call after his mate had just been up...if you know what I mean. Wouldn't let him do anything other than head south...if you know what I mean yet again. She took the pleasure of telling him by text after he left.... Vomit inducing. Brings an all new meaning to sloppy seconds. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Auld Reekin' Posted May 27 Share Posted May 27 3 hours ago, Herbert. said: Before I met my wife I was seeing a lassie casually and she was awright just regular mental but her ex was mental as ****. He was a angry Greek guy that held her hostage a few times, Used to chuck her in the back of his work van and drive about for hours. She would make me hide if he appeared, She was a bit of a bunny boiler so was glad to get shot. Because, after you'd recovered from surgery and your wound had healed, she was safely in gaol for attempted murder d'you mean? (Assuming she didn't hit anything vital, or essential-to-reproduction, that is?) She does sound really crazy, right enough. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Auld Reekin' Posted May 27 Share Posted May 27 (edited) Well, there was me thinking I'd had my share of nutjob exes but compared to some of the ones above, I've actually been pretty lucky with my women (so far). My girlfriend of over 22 years standing does have her moments however... Edited May 27 by Auld Reekin' Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
1971fozzy Posted May 27 Share Posted May 27 3 hours ago, Herbert. said: Before I met my wife I was seeing a lassie casually and she was awright just regular mental but her ex was mental as ****. He was a angry Greek guy that held her hostage a few times, Used to chuck her in the back of his work van and drive about for hours. She would make me hide if he appeared, She was a bit of a bunny boiler so was glad to get shot. 😱😱😱😱 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Homme Posted May 27 Share Posted May 27 Had a short thing with my Aunt's good friend when I was younger. Anyway after a night out at 3am she was drunk and horny walking by my house and tried to wake me up by chucking some gravel at my window to get my attention. Biggest problem was it was a small boulder and my parents bedroom window. And yeah it went right through. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ulysses Posted May 27 Share Posted May 27 3 hours ago, Kalamazoo Jambo said: Same thing happened to me. Everything went to pieces right after that Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Herbert. Posted May 28 Share Posted May 28 3 hours ago, Auld Reekin' said: Because, after you'd recovered from surgery and your wound had healed, she was safely in gaol for attempted murder d'you mean? (Assuming she didn't hit anything vital, or essential-to-reproduction, that is?) She does sound really crazy, right enough. Don't think she would have shot me, some low level stalking was more her level. she did threw me out her house early hours one morning when she got angry that I never made enough noise during sex. The ex would've shot me though ****ing mad man. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Herbert. Posted May 28 Share Posted May 28 3 hours ago, Homme said: Had a short thing with my Aunt's good friend when I was younger. Anyway after a night out at 3am she was drunk and horny walking by my house and tried to wake me up by chucking some gravel at my window to get my attention. Biggest problem was it was a small boulder and my parents bedroom window. And yeah it went right through. Did you let her in? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Homme Posted May 28 Share Posted May 28 4 hours ago, Herbert. said: Did you let her in? That was the end of it that night. She quickly went onto a mate and they were together years until fairly recently Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Marvin Posted May 28 Share Posted May 28 15 hours ago, Morgan said: @Marvin? 🤣 She's still in prison. That's 13 years I think. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ribble Posted May 28 Share Posted May 28 Not really an ex, more just a one night stand but definitely crazy was in my local one night gets chatting to this girl and we end up going back to mine at her suggestion, once in bed she seemed to just be going through the motions and not really all that into it, so next morning she leaves and I think nothing more of it until a few days later when an old mate of mine got in touch, we’d not spoken in over 10 years but it turns out she was his ex from a short lived relationship about 4 years prior. She’d been attempting to make him jealous by sleeping with me and had stalked his friends list on fb, seen me and worked out where my local was. His only reaction was to say I’d be mental to go anywhere near her again, which I had no intention of doing anyway. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Auld Reekin' Posted May 28 Share Posted May 28 5 hours ago, Herbert. said: Don't think she would have shot me, some low level stalking was more her level. she did threw me out her house early hours one morning when she got angry that I never made enough noise during sex. The ex would've shot me though ****ing mad man. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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