Morgan Posted January 22, 2022 Share Posted January 22, 2022 There must be some crackers you've used!? Come on, don't be shy, share them here. Did they work? Was the end result worth it? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bull's-eye Posted January 22, 2022 Share Posted January 22, 2022 "Geez a sniff eh yer sweaty drawers" is my all time favourite. Works every time. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
the sub goalie Posted January 22, 2022 Share Posted January 22, 2022 Can I smell your ****y? No Must be your feet then. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cookieboy Posted January 22, 2022 Share Posted January 22, 2022 you've got lovely hair it'll look even nicer on my pillow Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
allyby Posted January 22, 2022 Share Posted January 22, 2022 (edited) I hope you own a crash helmet because you're going right through the headboard tonight. Edited January 22, 2022 by allyby Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
milky_26 Posted January 22, 2022 Share Posted January 22, 2022 @Morgan come on what line did you use to snag mrs morgan? something like "fancy a winch round the back by the bins, doll?" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cookieboy Posted January 22, 2022 Share Posted January 22, 2022 23 minutes ago, allyby said: I hope you own a crash helmet because you're going right through the headboard tonight. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Maple Leaf Posted January 22, 2022 Share Posted January 22, 2022 I'm not as tall as I look. I'm actually sitting on my wallet. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
been here before Posted January 22, 2022 Share Posted January 22, 2022 I might not be the best looking man in here but Im the only one talking to you. Works everytime. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Morgan Posted January 22, 2022 Author Share Posted January 22, 2022 1 hour ago, milky_26 said: @Morgan come on what line did you use to snag mrs morgan? something like "fancy a winch round the back by the bins, doll?" I asked her if she fancied going halfers on a b@stard. 😎 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
milky_26 Posted January 22, 2022 Share Posted January 22, 2022 1 hour ago, Morgan said: I asked her if she fancied going halfers on a b@stard. 😎 you silver tongued devil Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
obua Posted January 22, 2022 Share Posted January 22, 2022 1 hour ago, Morgan said: I asked her if she fancied going halfers on a b@stard. 😎 Did she say yes 👏 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Салатные палочки Posted January 22, 2022 Share Posted January 22, 2022 You don't need chat up lines when you have dance moves like me. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
luckyBatistuta Posted January 22, 2022 Share Posted January 22, 2022 You look a bit of a shark...fancy swallowing some swimmers Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
superjack Posted January 22, 2022 Share Posted January 22, 2022 When I was 19, me and a mate went up to 2 bursds. My mate then said "are you 2 sisters?" One replied "yes". Mate then said "where the feck is cinderella?". I said "WTF?" and walked away. Half an hour later, the price left the club with them. If I ever tried that line I would have ended up with a stiletto in my ear. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jambo_jim2001 Posted January 22, 2022 Share Posted January 22, 2022 I fancy one of those puppies with the pink nose💥 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Maroon Sailor Posted January 22, 2022 Share Posted January 22, 2022 Do you come here often ? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
luckyBatistuta Posted January 22, 2022 Share Posted January 22, 2022 My mate said he thinks you look like a whale, so I told him I was gonna see if you fancy a humpback at my place. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jambo_jim2001 Posted January 22, 2022 Share Posted January 22, 2022 Do you like fruit? Coz my Bobby is a peach🙄🙄 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ked Posted January 22, 2022 Share Posted January 22, 2022 Best line I've ever used was. This cash lines out of money chum me round to the one round the corner and we can both go for a drink. Still together. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Don Dan Posted January 22, 2022 Share Posted January 22, 2022 No need for words when just have it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Morgan Posted January 22, 2022 Author Share Posted January 22, 2022 1 hour ago, milky_26 said: you silver tongued devil Aye, I know. 1 hour ago, obua said: Did she say yes 👏 Of course. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
John Findlay Posted January 22, 2022 Share Posted January 22, 2022 Here is 10p. Phone your parents and let them know you won't be coming home tonight Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Morgan Posted January 22, 2022 Author Share Posted January 22, 2022 8 minutes ago, John Findlay said: Here is 10p. Phone your parents and let them know you won't be coming home tonight Pool table? Easter Road? 👀 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
redjambo Posted January 22, 2022 Share Posted January 22, 2022 9 minutes ago, John Findlay said: Here is 10p. Phone your parents and let them know you won't be coming home tonight The invention of mobile phones really cramped your style, John. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
luckyBatistuta Posted January 22, 2022 Share Posted January 22, 2022 1 minute ago, redjambo said: The invention of mobile phones really cramped your style, John. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dawnrazor Posted January 22, 2022 Share Posted January 22, 2022 I went to see The Almighty in the Newcastle Riverside, I convinced a woman older than me by a good few years, the I was Stumpy's brother, he was the drummer in The Almighty, she took me back to her house in Wallsend and abused me!! Probably my best chat up line. When I was England I did hit a few bursds with the "do you have any Scottish in you? No?...........would you like some?!" Patter, only worked the once. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Morgan Posted January 22, 2022 Author Share Posted January 22, 2022 Just now, Dawnrazor said: I went to see The Almighty in the Newcastle Riverside, I convinced a woman older than me by a good few years, the I was Stumpy's brother, he was the drummer in The Almighty, she took me back to her house in Wallsend and abused me!! Probably my best chat up line. When I was England I did hit a few bursds with the "do you have any Scottish in you? No?...........would you like some?!" Patter, only worked the once. Feck me, Dawn. You disappear for feckin months then, surprise surprise, you pop up on a bursds thread. You're some boy! 👍 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
luckyBatistuta Posted January 22, 2022 Share Posted January 22, 2022 6 minutes ago, Morgan said: Feck me, Dawn. You disappear for feckin months then, surprise surprise, you pop up on a bursds thread. You're some boy! 👍 He’s kickbacks McAvennie Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dawnrazor Posted January 22, 2022 Share Posted January 22, 2022 6 minutes ago, Morgan said: Feck me, Dawn. You disappear for feckin months then, surprise surprise, you pop up on a bursds thread. You're some boy! 👍 🤣🤣 Aye, I keep an eye on what's going on here but 99% of threads are a ****ing embarrassing car crash to be honest, I've had a few beers and thought I'd dip my toes in again!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dawnrazor Posted January 22, 2022 Share Posted January 22, 2022 2 minutes ago, luckyBatistuta said: He’s kickbacks McAvennie I'll take that as a wee tongue in cheek compliment LB!! Hope you're well mate. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Unknown user Posted January 22, 2022 Share Posted January 22, 2022 48 minutes ago, Jambo_jim2001 said: Do you like fruit? Coz my Bobby is a peach🙄🙄 Do you like chicken? Mine's fowl Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
luckyBatistuta Posted January 22, 2022 Share Posted January 22, 2022 1 minute ago, Dawnrazor said: I'll take that as a wee tongue in cheek compliment LB!! Hope you're well mate. I am bud, hope you and the family are too pal...never change👍🤣 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tazio Posted January 22, 2022 Share Posted January 22, 2022 I once told a nurse in a nightclub in Inverness I was in town working as a stuntman on a tv show. I’m not quite sure why she thought a kid’s Saturday morning tv show needed a stuntman. I’d like to think there’s a chance that to this day there’s a nurse somewhere that tells people that she pumped Gaz Topp on Get Fresh’s stunt double. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dawnrazor Posted January 22, 2022 Share Posted January 22, 2022 1 minute ago, luckyBatistuta said: I am bud, hope you and the family are too pal...never change👍🤣 Good to hear it!!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
John Findlay Posted January 22, 2022 Share Posted January 22, 2022 54 minutes ago, Morgan said: Pool table? Easter Road? 👀 This was after that. I was the one given the 10p that night😉 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Janbo1874 Posted January 22, 2022 Share Posted January 22, 2022 Drop your scants and give us a sniff of your scunger. I find as a roaming silver tongued cavalier this one works best outside of the City Bypass and North of the Forth. When in the North East a torch,wellie boots and carrots will suffice. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jambo_jim2001 Posted January 23, 2022 Share Posted January 23, 2022 1 hour ago, Smithee said: Do you like chicken? Mine's fowl Do you know the difference between a penis and a chicken leg??naw!! Wanna come on a picnic !!😁 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SpruceBringsteen Posted January 23, 2022 Share Posted January 23, 2022 Thank **** I've spent my life with enough chat to avoid being any of you tragic old *****. Enjoy your memories. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Marvin Posted January 23, 2022 Share Posted January 23, 2022 Me encanta tu cuerpo (I love your body) to a Spanish student outside Frasers back in 1996. It worked but my mate was so pissed she suggested I'd take him home. I did say he'd be fine, but she seemed more concerned than me 😂 in the end I didn't get my boaby but did get a caution from plod after my mate threw up in the taxi and did a runner. I ran off too and we both got stopped by the local constabulary 😶 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Marvin Posted January 23, 2022 Share Posted January 23, 2022 11 hours ago, Dawnrazor said: I went to see The Almighty in the Newcastle Riverside, I convinced a woman older than me by a good few years, the I was Stumpy's brother, he was the drummer in The Almighty, she took me back to her house in Wallsend and abused me!! Probably my best chat up line. When I was England I did hit a few bursds with the "do you have any Scottish in you? No?...........would you like some?!" Patter, only worked the once. I told a Bristol girl her dad is a sheepshagger. (He was from Aberdeen). She replied "He's not from Wales he's from Aberdeen" 🤣 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Vlad Magic Posted January 23, 2022 Share Posted January 23, 2022 Sit on my face and I’ll tell you your weight. You weigh eeeeelllllllllllleven stone sssssssseeeeeeven and a thhhhhhhhhhird. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
been here before Posted January 23, 2022 Share Posted January 23, 2022 13 hours ago, Smithee said: Do you like chicken? Mine's fowl "Dont worry, one good sook gets it all off" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JudyJudyJudy Posted January 23, 2022 Share Posted January 23, 2022 Well this line is actually true and I got asked this by a guy I was introduced , by another fellow Jambo before a Hearts match in the pub. I think it was a very clumsy chat up It annoyed me but also made me chuckle and piqued my interest in him. " oh Ive heard you take it up the 9 darter?" ( ill not say what my reply was Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
muldoon74 Posted January 23, 2022 Share Posted January 23, 2022 "do you like sweets? Drop your snickers and I'll give you a boost".. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Morgan Posted January 23, 2022 Author Share Posted January 23, 2022 14 hours ago, Smithee said: Do you like chicken? Mine's fowl Do you like Chinese food? Well, Chow mine. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Morgan Posted January 23, 2022 Author Share Posted January 23, 2022 1 hour ago, been here before said: "Dont worry, one good sook gets it all off" If you like biscuits then mines a cracker. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
A Boy Named Crow Posted January 24, 2022 Share Posted January 24, 2022 What's your favourite excel function? Married her. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Herbert. Posted January 24, 2022 Share Posted January 24, 2022 Shouting get in the van has a 100% success rate. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Vlad Magic Posted January 24, 2022 Share Posted January 24, 2022 Just now, Herbert said: Shouting get in the van has a 100% success rate. If you are Buffalo Bill!!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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