Jump to content

My arse is itchy


ri Alban

Recommended Posts

:oopsoops: Did I say that out loud!? 

 

 

Anything else you shouldn't say out loud, folks? 🤫 Or wish you hadn't :D

I'm sure you lot have a few stories ☺️

Link to comment
Share on other sites

You've had a few odd posts this morning. 

 

Too much to drink last night or your kids/mates have commandeered your account?

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Just a bit of fun 

1 hour ago, Bindy Badgy said:

You've had a few odd posts this morning. 

 

Too much to drink last night or your kids/mates have commandeered your account?

Bored, thought I'd have a laugh.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

1 minute ago, ri Alban said:

Just a bit of fun 

Bored, thought I'd have a laugh.

 

Fair enough. As good a reason as any :) 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

When getting on the bus, with my youngest son when he was a baby.

I just let everyone on the lower deck know, the condom had burst.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

7 hours ago, ri Alban said:

:oopsoops: Did I say that out loud!? 

 

 

Anything else you shouldn't say out loud, folks? 🤫 Or wish you hadn't :D

I'm sure you lot have a few stories ☺️

 

7 hours ago, Bindy Badgy said:

You've had a few odd posts this morning. 

 

Too much to drink last night or your kids/mates have commandeered your account?

Odd posts are the start of the slippery slope.

 

:greggy:

Link to comment
Share on other sites

13 hours ago, ri Alban said:

:oopsoops: Did I say that out loud!? 

 

 

Anything else you shouldn't say out loud, folks? 🤫 Or wish you hadn't :D

I'm sure you lot have a few stories ☺️

 

Good covering of sudocrem 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

On the phone to my dad whilst in B and Q. 
 

Had the phone on loudspeaker because it had a fault on normal. He asks how I’m getting on.

 

”literally shit dad. Had massive trots last night”

 

Guy standing next to me giving me a strange glare then walks off pissing himself laughing.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

13 hours ago, theshed said:

 

Good covering of sudocrem 

I was just about the say that. Its  a wonder cream really. 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Once apologised to a door to door salesman for taking a while to answer the door, by telling him "I was just putting the daughter in her cage". 

 

I forgot that only me and the missus called it that and to the rest of the world, its known as a playpen. Guy looked like he was ready to call social until I explained it better. 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I was on the bus with my wife, when she saw a well-endowed women holding up 2 pups in front of her chest at the bus stop to show them to her friend. "Ooh, look at the puppies" my wife said. 

 

Me, and a guy sitting behind us, had to wait a while until we'd stopped laughing before I could explain what we were laughing at.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

In the late 70s when I was very wee I saw my first black man, a conductor on the bus. According to my mum I turned to her and in my big voice said "mum that man hasn't washed for a week!"

 

She was mortified, but he was pissing himself, he gave me a wee lapel badge of an Intercity 125 which my mum still has

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Sitting on the bus years back with my eldest who was maybe 3 at the time. We're on the top deck right at the front and the bus pulls up to the stop where a young man who is quite portly, bleached blonde hair and wearing a yellow and black horizontal striped jumper gets on. As he steps on to the bus my son announces loudly and to the whole bus.

 

"Dad...look at this big bum boy getting on the bus"

 

Of course he heads upstairs unaware why everyone on the top deck are laughing and me saying "You mean Bumblebee...he looks like a Bumblebee"

Link to comment
Share on other sites

A Boy Named Crow
11 hours ago, Der Kaiser said:

Sitting on the bus years back with my eldest who was maybe 3 at the time. We're on the top deck right at the front and the bus pulls up to the stop where a young man who is quite portly, bleached blonde hair and wearing a yellow and black horizontal striped jumper gets on. As he steps on to the bus my son announces loudly and to the whole bus.

 

"Dad...look at this big bum boy getting on the bus"

 

Of course he heads upstairs unaware why everyone on the top deck are laughing and me saying "You mean Bumblebee...he looks like a Bumblebee"

That is bloody brilliant 😂😂😂

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.



  • Popular Now

×
×
  • Create New...