I can't leave

[stu]

You are not telling us the whole story here.

 

2 x-rays and a CT scan will not cause the pain you are trying to describe. You get a larger dose of radiation going about your daily life for a year from a multitude of things than you would from the scans.

 

What's your evidence to back up the claim for £100,000 from the NHS?

[dicksojo]

You’ve told us that the x rays have zapped your strength. You’ve told us that your parents are hassling you. You’ve told us that £100k from the NHS would be revenge for you. You’ve mentioned that mental health is a buzzword used by the NHS to explain their shortcomings . You’ve not given a detailed explanation of what is going on in your life. 
 

I don’t mean to sound harsh but I think you’re in the Middle of a deep depression. You might not want to hear it and believe that there is something physically wrong with you but I think you need to speak to a professional therapist for help. 
 

I don’t think posting cryptic messages on a football forum is going to help.

 

The board will be here to support you but you’ve got to realise what is going on first and try to accept and put an action plan in place to get better.

 

All the best buddy. 

[rudi must stay]

3 minutes ago, stu said:

You are not telling us the whole story here.

 

2 x-rays and a CT scan will not cause the pain you are trying to describe. You get a larger dose of radiation going about your daily life for a year from a multitude of things than you would from the scans.

 

What's your evidence to back up the claim for £100,000 from the NHS?

 

Thats the whole story. Yes in theory but I'm afraid as I can testify the reality is different. For ruining my life of course, making me a cripple at 32, you think I'll ever get a girlfriend like this, I repulse myself

[The White Cockade]

2 minutes ago, rudi must stay said:

 

Thats the whole story. Yes in theory but I'm afraid as I can testify the reality is different. For ruining my life of course, making me a cripple at 32, you think I'll ever get a girlfriend like this, I repulse myself

Get to your GP mate and ask for help

Whatever problems you have depression is definitely one of them and you need to start there 

[Jambo-Jimbo]

You go to the doctor because you had aches & pains and were losing weight, and the doctor sent you for an x-ray.

So you were already ill before you had an x-ray, I'd suggest that whatever was making you ill in the first place is at the root of it and not 3 x-ray's spread over a 3 year period. 

 

Sounds to me that because they haven't found out what is wrong with you, you are looking for anything or anybody to blame for the way you feel, because having something/somebody to blame helps you to rationalize and deal with it better.

 

If your GP doesn't know what is wrong with you, ask for a 2nd opinion or a 3rd or a 4th, sooner or later you'll find someone who does know what's wrong with you.

[Cruyff]

42 minutes ago, rudi must stay said:

 

Thats the whole story. Yes in theory but I'm afraid as I can testify the reality is different. For ruining my life of course, making me a cripple at 32, you think I'll ever get a girlfriend like this, I repulse myself

Don't put yourself down mate. I'm sure you can build your strength up and find someone who wants to be with you. 

[Dazo]

1 hour ago, rudi must stay said:

 

Thats the whole story. Yes in theory but I'm afraid as I can testify the reality is different. For ruining my life of course, making me a cripple at 32, you think I'll ever get a girlfriend like this, I repulse myself

Denial is a large part of mental health issues. You seem unable to accept that 3 x rays in 3 years will not cause the issues you are having. Have you became  unfit/overweight in that period ? Never mind buzzwords but I think you should give the therapy a bash. On top of that have you tried physio to help with what you think are physical issues ? Having a physiotherapist back you up or tell you different will certainly help. 

[rudi must stay]

16 minutes ago, Dazo said:

Denial is a large part of mental health issues. You seem unable to accept that 3 x rays in 3 years will not cause the issues you are having. Have you became  unfit/overweight in that period ? Never mind buzzwords but I think you should give the therapy a bash. On top of that have you tried physio to help with what you think are physical issues ? Having a physiotherapist back you up or tell you different will certainly help. 

 

What I've become is a man with no muscle on him. It has been taken away from me. What am I denying like I'm not denying I had them there is no Eureka Uri Geller moment here, so you take the lavender sea salt therapy ideas 

[hughesie27]

1 minute ago, rudi must stay said:

 

What I've become is a man with no muscle on him. It has been taken away from me. What am I denying like I'm not denying I had them there is no Eureka Uri Geller moment here, so you take the lavender sea salt therapy ideas 

I'll ask again. How would you want to treat a family member if they were going through what you are? What would help them?

[Sharpie]

Getting old but remember as a policeman and for the life of me cannot remember if it was Edinburgh or here, but spoke to many with tales like the present one, I  would have been then motivated to have the  "patient" checked under the Mental Health Act as I would have serious concerns for him. His comments now are disjointed, lacking in  common sense, and mention finance, and it seems everyone treats him badly as a result of his own misdiagnosis of undiscoverable ailments. He is either very sick, and I would suggest mentally, or he is at it.

[Салатные палочки]

Just putting this out there. 

 

 

[Cruyff]

14 minutes ago, Sharpie said:

Getting old but remember as a policeman and for the life of me cannot remember if it was Edinburgh or here, but spoke to many with tales like the present one, I  would have been then motivated to have the  "patient" checked under the Mental Health Act as I would have serious concerns for him. His comments now are disjointed, lacking in  common sense, and mention finance, and it seems everyone treats him badly as a result of his own misdiagnosis of undiscoverable ailments. He is either very sick, and I would suggest mentally, or he is at it.

It seems so, Bob. 😕  

[Carl Fredrickson]

Is the OP from Irvine? 

[Morgan]

Something is afoot here, something (God knows what) is not gelling.

 

I’ll tell you what though, as others have already said on this thread (myself included), three x-rays would not, repeat not, do this to a person. There had to have been something in place that was wrong before, or there was an underlying problem long beforehand that was lying dormant, and has now come to fruition.

 

The OP is, in my opinion, looking for a scapegoat and the NHS has become a handy, and tenuously related, target.

 

If I am doing him an injustice, I hold my hands up and apologise.

 

It saddened me to read that he ‘repulses himself’.  This is a far from normal statement to make and makes me conclude that the situation needs properly addressed as a matter of urgency.

 

Good luck to you Rudi, I will follow this thread with interest and, of course, hope.

 

 

[Sharpie]

In fairness having gone through something I denied myself I would offer further advice to Rudi. I went through a considerable period when having used the toilet I would pass blood, sometimes a lot sometimes spots. A family problem was piles so I self diagnosed it as such. In 1995 when we moved house we had to register with a new doctor. She required a full medical, and bowel samples. On my next visit she because of blood in the stool sent me for a Colonoscopy, colon cancer discovered. Surgery, chemo, radiation. If I had continued self diagnosis I would have died about at the latest fifteen years ago. I again recite an epistle not in boast but to try to impart to Rudi that attention not sought is an invitation to the grim reapers party.

[AndyNic]

Rudi,

 

Just know that the posters on this thread would really like to help you with whatever you are going through and private messages are always available.

 

Maybe best to start there.

 

 

 

 

[AndyNic]

and don't put yourself down.

 

try to find the positives from any situation or you'll spiral in to a world of negativity.

[rudi must stay]

2 hours ago, hughesie27 said:

I'll ask again. How would you want to treat a family member if they were going through what you are? What would help them?

 

I don't like your tone Hughesie, I didn't like it on your other post either. I am a man of 32 who wants his space that's what would help me I've thought it through and life is better lived alone. And I'll edit what I said originally 

 

1 hour ago, Sharpie said:

Getting old but remember as a policeman and for the life of me cannot remember if it was Edinburgh or here, but spoke to many with tales like the present one, I  would have been then motivated to have the  "patient" checked under the Mental Health Act as I would have serious concerns for him. His comments now are disjointed, lacking in  common sense, and mention finance, and it seems everyone treats him badly as a result of his own misdiagnosis of undiscoverable ailments. He is either very sick, and I would suggest mentally, or he is at it.

 

Why don't the police go after real criminals people stealing and commuting crimes and leave the vulnerable alone. My respect for the police through all this is gone 

Edited January 13, 2022 by rudi must stay

[rudi must stay]

14 minutes ago, Sharpie said:

In fairness having gone through something I denied myself I would offer further advice to Rudi. I went through a considerable period when having used the toilet I would pass blood, sometimes a lot sometimes spots. A family problem was piles so I self diagnosed it as such. In 1995 when we moved house we had to register with a new doctor. She required a full medical, and bowel samples. On my next visit she because of blood in the stool sent me for a Colonoscopy, colon cancer discovered. Surgery, chemo, radiation. If I had continued self diagnosis I would have died about at the latest fifteen years ago. I again recite an epistle not in boast but to try to impart to Rudi that attention not sought is an invitation to the grim reapers party.

 

Had the same problem. Nothing found 

[Morgan]

9 minutes ago, AndyNic said:

Rudi,

 

Just know that the posters on this thread would really like to help you with whatever you are going through and private messages are always available.

 

Maybe best to start there.

 

 

 

 

 

Agreed, that's a good suggestion from you, Andy.

 

6 minutes ago, rudi must stay said:

 

I don't like your tone Hughesie, I didn't like it on your other post either. I am a man of 32 who wants his space that's what would help me I've thought it through and life is better lived alone. And I'll edit what I said originally 

 

 

Why don't the police go after real criminals people stealing and commuting crimes and leave the vulnerable alone. My respect for the police through all this is gone 

 

There was nothing wrong with @hughesie27's tone, Rudi.

 

He had previously asked you a perfectly valid question, one which you had not yet answered.

 

Plus, how come the police are now being criticised?

 

 

[rudi must stay]

5 minutes ago, Morgan said:

 

Agreed, that's a good suggestion from you, Andy.

 

 

There was nothing wrong with @hughesie27's tone, Rudi.

 

He had previously asked you a perfectly valid question, one which you had not yet answered.

 

Plus, how come the police are now being criticised?

 

 

 

I see them hanging around the psychiatrists there's no need for them there. They only make the patients feel they are being watched. It is now what a mentally ill person needs

[the Hearts way]

22 hours ago, William H. Bonney said:

**** the Hitler? 

I know Rudi must stay, quoted Hitler in a post but I don't think this is a thread to be cracking jokes to be honest! 

[John Findlay]

I am going to go against the majority here, I belive the OP is at it and  attention seeking. If not then I sincerely apologise. However, this is what my gut is telling me.

[Салатные палочки]

7 minutes ago, John Findlay said:

I am going to go against the majority here, I belive the OP is at it and  attention seeking. If not then I sincerely apologise. However, this is what my gut is telling me.

 

I didn't want to be the first to say it but I'm thinking the same. The "week in a police station without food" comment had me thinking that last week. 

[Sharpie]

40 minutes ago, rudi must stay said:

 

Had the same problem. Nothing found 

 

I don't think colon cancer is your problem Rudi. I think deep down you know what your problem is, and you don't want to accept it. What you have to consider is that whether our problem is physical, organic or mental, true acceptance is the first step to removing it. I would and in the kindest terms suggest that you seek some counselling in either phsychiatric or psychological field, because I suspect that somewhere in your mind is an act that you perceive as having been totally unfair. I am not sure if you feel you have been misdiagnosed regarding a physical illness or ailment, or if you have wee concerns yourself about your thought process. The easiest thing and we all do it is when we suspect we have something not quite right is to blame those around us, like my tale about denying what I knew to be very wrong with my physical health and at one point blaming the family doctor for her misdiagnosis, to attribute blame is easier than accepting. I challenge you here, with no winner or loser to go to one of the mind specialists I have suggested, are you man enough, and tell that person your deepest thoughts, concerns and pleasures, I am sure they will give you straight answers and any action towards total overall healing that you require. In my own life I have found just telling someone how I feel the best therapy, just saying it helps. All the best I and many others are right here with you and want you on here fully comfortable.

Edited January 13, 2022 by Sharpie

[thehibsareintheirbeds]

Guessing you won't want to, but think talking it through with someone would help. Clearly lots of us want to help but it's difficult through kickback.

 

Think it would be worth giving these guys a call and sharing it all in a bit more detail. Sometimes nice just to have someone listen and acknowledge

 https://breathingspace.scot/

[rudi must stay]

31 minutes ago, Salad Fingers said:

 

I didn't want to be the first to say it but I'm thinking the same. The "week in a police station without food" comment had me thinking that last week. 

 

Ye I had a laugh last week, sorry for having a laugh on an internet forum. This place has got very serious the past few years with alot of posters that think they're representing 10 downing Street when they post. As for John I think as a poster you're boring 

[hughesie27]

1 hour ago, rudi must stay said:

 

I don't like your tone Hughesie, I didn't like it on your other post either. I am a man of 32 who wants his space that's what would help me I've thought it through and life is better lived alone. And I'll edit what I said originally 

Okay. So your long term goal I assume is to move out into your own place, or perhaps sharing with someone you share interests in but respect privacy. What are you going to do to get there? 

Considering you are so ill I have to assume you aren't working just now and are on Disability benefit? For someone in your circumstances you would be able to get a flat with Housing benefit (under Universal Credit of course) to cover your rent. Speak to Citizens Advice. They'll be able to point you in the right direction. Or is there anything stopping you from doing this?

[rudi must stay]

18 minutes ago, hughesie27 said:

Okay. So your long term goal I assume is to move out into your own place, or perhaps sharing with someone you share interests in but respect privacy. What are you going to do to get there? 

Considering you are so ill I have to assume you aren't working just now and are on Disability benefit? For someone in your circumstances you would be able to get a flat with Housing benefit (under Universal Credit of course) to cover your rent. Speak to Citizens Advice. They'll be able to point you in the right direction. Or is there anything stopping you from doing this?

 

This has all got a bit too personal here I'm going to take a step back 

[hughesie27]

1 minute ago, rudi must stay said:

 

This has all got a bit too personal here I'm going to take a step back 

I'm unsurprised.

[Tazio]

All I’m going to say is you have to ask yourself what you get from this, and possibly other, forums. The internet and forums can be a great thing if one is feeling a bit troubled. But the flip side is they can also be very bad. It’s very easy to assume everyone posting about how great things are is being 100% truthful. It’s one of the dangers of social media. Never compare your own reality to others projected life. 

[Sharpie]

35 minutes ago, rudi must stay said:

 

This has all got a bit too personal here I'm going to take a step back 

 

Your are sounding awful like a normal person, I have to say a loud Hmmm, I have posted in sincerity, I am not sure now that was the full tenet of the original postings, if I am now correct I feel no shame in my efforts, but someone on here sure should.

[hughesie27]

25 minutes ago, Sharpie said:

 

Your are sounding awful like a normal person, I have to say a loud Hmmm, I have posted in sincerity, I am not sure now that was the full tenet of the original postings, if I am now correct I feel no shame in my efforts, but someone on here sure should.

Absolutely Bob. 

[crunchy frog]

Close thread. I'm with John F and Salad Fingers.

[AlimOzturk]

2 hours ago, John Findlay said:

I am going to go against the majority here, I belive the OP is at it and  attention seeking. If not then I sincerely apologise. However, this is what my gut is telling me.

Problem with the internet and anonymity is that you can never tell if someone is trolling. Having read the story about Irving Jambo and how this board and other football boards were conned by him it makes sense to be wary. 
 

Either way I would shut this thread down if were the mod. He isn’t going to the help he needs from strangers on the internet especially with being so cryptic. If he is at it then a bunch of good hearted people are just being taken for mugs. Either way it is best to shut this thread down IMO. 

[Ray Gin]

I think he may genuinely be experiencing some serious problems with his mental health. 

 

Rudi, please speak to a professional and go to therapy. The physical problems you are talking about may be compounded by your depression - if your mind convinces you that your body is not well, then it will not feel well. Take care.

[jamtartan74]

8 minutes ago, crunchy frog said:

Close thread. I'm with John F and Salad Fingers.

Yip me too, he’s been at it for a while posting weird threads and being cryptic, attention seeking imo but if I’m wrong fair enough but best this thread gets closed. 

[Morgan]

1 hour ago, rudi must stay said:

 

This has all got a bit too personal here I'm going to take a step back 

 

Perhaps a wee bit too late.

 

2 hours ago, John Findlay said:

I am going to go against the majority here, I belive the OP is at it and  attention seeking. If not then I sincerely apologise. However, this is what my gut is telling me.

 

Yes, John.

 

I fell for a lot of it at the outset, still have my yes/no moments but, it’s getting strange.

 

I had my wife read through this thread and various others by the OP.

 

She’s a lovely and kind person but, on this occasion, said she thought that RMS was a wee bit on the wind-up.

[Carl Fredrickson]

I have booked a charity skydive

[Taffin]

1 hour ago, Ray Gin said:

I think he may genuinely be experiencing some serious problems with his mental health. 

 

Rudi, please speak to a professional and go to therapy. The physical problems you are talking about may be compounded by your depression - if your mind convinces you that your body is not well, then it will not feel well. Take care.

 

Agree with the above, good advice.

 

And if he's not genuine I'd rather be taken for a mug for offering support than the potential of going down the other route and making it worse for someone.

[redjambo]

8 minutes ago, Taffin said:

 

Agree with the above, good advice.

 

And if he's not genuine I'd rather be taken for a mug for offering support than the potential of going down the other route and making it worse for someone.

 

Good view, Taffin.

[XB52]

55 minutes ago, Taffin said:

 

Agree with the above, good advice.

 

And if he's not genuine I'd rather be taken for a mug for offering support than the potential of going down the other route and making it worse for someone.

Glad I read this before posting my thoughts. I have my doubts on his sincerity but it won't make any difference to me if he's taking us for idiots. If he's serious then there have been several good posts that could help him. 

[Morgan]

1 hour ago, Taffin said:

 

Agree with the above, good advice.

 

And if he's not genuine I'd rather be taken for a mug for offering support than the potential of going down the other route and making it worse for someone.

Nice one, Taff.  👍

 

Maybe some posts have helped the OP.

 

If he’s at the ham, and he’s laughing at us, that’s his problem.

 

I still hope, if he’s genuine, that he’s ok.

 

 

[PTBCAL]

Rudi,

 

Depression can manifest itself in many guises 

 

Self loathing is one of the biggest. I should know.

 

You can react in a continuous manner without realising it. Criticising everything and everyone including yourself. Looking for a reason as to why things happen when the answer is closer to home. 
 

Rudi - you have a lifetime ahead of you. Your happiness and self esteem will not be solved by being in a relationship. How can you have feelings for someone else when you possibly loathe yourself.  
 

I am talking from experience - approaching 50 and I hated my life. My kids were the only reason I got out of bed. 
 

Fast forward 3-4 years and I enjoy everyday. And I’m still single 😀. Rid myself of any negative influences and did more of what pleased and energised me. For me was the gym and tattoos. For you well only you really know that.

 

Times will be tough but slowly they can improve if you allow yourself the opportunity to try

 

PM me anytime. Happy to chat in person anytime. 
 

Paul 

[PTBCAL]

19 minutes ago, Morgan said:

Nice one, Taff.  👍

 

Maybe some posts have helped the OP.

 

If he’s at the ham, and he’s laughing at us, that’s his problem.

 

I still hope, if he’s genuine, that he’s ok.

 

 

If not Rudi then someone suffering in silence might appreciate the support offered on here 👍

[Sharpie]

Well he may have or not have a problem, but he has given me one, I have opened myself up to offer any assistance I could, but now suspecting that it was all a bunch of what grows the grass in Texas I am angry, and I am frustrated that old and all as I am  cannot take my disappointment anger and frustration out on the culprit, if I could he would have something to complain about on the Internet, because he would have no doubt what is causing his pain.

[Maple Leaf]

The OP has announced that he's stepping back from this thread, so thread closed.