Jump to content

Itchy ring.


AlimOzturk

Recommended Posts

6 minutes ago, Lemongrab said:

It always starts with one finger.  Before long he'll be rolling his sleeve up.

Ouch your rings scratching me.

That’s not a ring, it’s my wristwatch. 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I once had a holiday in a small Bavarian place called Rimsting.

 

Plenty of Weissbier going down there, obviously.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Tenaciousdandy
9 hours ago, AlimOzturk said:

You know one of those ones where only a bit of toilet wrapped round the finger and only a slight insert and jiggle cures. 
 

 Aye. I was delievered 30 erdinger beers from a mate who works in a pub but we’re going out of date. Pretty that caused the itchy ring. 
 

 

 

9 hours ago, AlimOzturk said:

And am ****ing steaming again btw

🤣🤣🤣 but aye been there done that 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Tenaciousdandy
8 hours ago, Dawnrazor said:

I was tempted to say "pictures or it didn't happen" but thought better of it, however, seeing Alim dragging his ringpiece across the living room carpet like a wormy auld collie dug could be worth seeing😆

Hell no!!!!!!!!!!! Lol 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

16 minutes ago, Dawnrazor said:

Got the very thing for you Alim👍

61PNl3SWczL._AC_SX466_.jpg

 

w.t.f. did you do a Google search on to come up with that?   :berra:

 

(Although, on second thoughts...  :ermm:  )

Link to comment
Share on other sites

14 minutes ago, Auld Reekin' said:

 

w.t.f. did you do a Google search on to come up with that?   :berra:

 

(Although, on second thoughts...  :ermm:  )

🤣🤣 I just typed in "what would reach the itch in Alims itchy hoop" and et voila!!!!

Link to comment
Share on other sites

38 minutes ago, Auld Reekin' said:

 

w.t.f. did you do a Google search on to come up with that?   :berra:

 

(Although, on second thoughts...  :ermm:  )


Google search? I think you mean camera roll. 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

23 minutes ago, Dawnrazor said:

🤣🤣 I just typed in "what would reach the itch in Alims itchy hoop" and et voila!!!!

 

:smile:

 

1 minute ago, gjcc said:


Google search? I think you mean camera roll. 

 

I was trying to be diplomatic.   :whistling:

Link to comment
Share on other sites

1 minute ago, Auld Reekin' said:

 

:smile:

 

 

I was trying to be diplomatic.   :whistling:

🤣🤣 behave yourselves!!!

Anyway, have we heard from the irritated sphincter one today?

Link to comment
Share on other sites

8 minutes ago, Dawnrazor said:

🤣🤣 behave yourselves!!!

Anyway, have we heard from the irritated sphincter one today?

He's currently sitting with his pedigree chum stuck in the fridge.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

28 minutes ago, superjack said:

He's currently sitting with his pedigree chum stuck in the fridge.

That brings a whole new meaning to putting a rocket up someone

Link to comment
Share on other sites

38 minutes ago, Dawnrazor said:

🤣🤣 behave yourselves!!!

Anyway, have we heard from the irritated sphincter one today?


Nursing a hangover. Thinks it is safe to assume I’ll no be drinking Erdinger again 😂

Link to comment
Share on other sites

5 hours ago, AlimOzturk said:


Nursing a hangover. Thinks it is safe to assume I’ll no be drinking Erdinger again 😂

 

May I recommend Weihenstephaner instead...???  :huh: :mw_rolleyes: :thumbsup: :whistling: 🍻

Link to comment
Share on other sites

17 hours ago, leginten said:

I once had a holiday in a small Bavarian place called Rimsting.

 

Plenty of Weissbier going down there, obviously.

 

I've visited a town in the Black Forest called Döggingen. A nice enough place, but a lot less fun than it sounds...   :dry:

 

Don't recall having a hefeweiss there either.  :ermm:

Edited by Auld Reekin'
Link to comment
Share on other sites

1 hour ago, Auld Reekin' said:

 

I've visited a town in the Black Forest called Döggingen. A nice enough place, but a lot less fun than it sounds...   :dry:

 

Don't recall having a hefeweiss there either.  :ermm:


I’ve also had a Bavarian holiday near the Wank, a hill just north of Garmisch-Partenkirchen.

 

The guy in the shop by the chairlift gave me a world-weary smile as I cleaned him out of postcards for the most deserving cases at home.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Doctor FinnBarr
10 minutes ago, leginten said:


I’ve also had a Bavarian holiday near the Wank, a hill just north of Garmisch-Partenkirchen.

 

The guy in the shop by the chairlift gave me a world-weary smile as I cleaned him out of postcards for the most deserving cases at home.

 

Wish you were here?

Link to comment
Share on other sites

14 minutes ago, Governor Tarkin said:

 

Imbruglia in that video is pretty much 10/10.

:wub:

 

OIP.BbUvuQr-qEUTzJUY44D1aAAAAA?w=119&h=1

I had the pleasure of having coffee and cake with her once, just a quiet quarter hour with the two of us. 
I can confirm she’s really rather attractive in real life. 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Governor Tarkin
2 minutes ago, Tazio said:

I had the pleasure of having coffee and cake with her once, just a quiet quarter hour with the two of us. 
I can confirm she’s really rather attractive in real life. 

 

A heart-warming tale for a Sunday evening in the bleak mid-winter, Taz. At least you had your time together.

 

If I didn't have such a penchant for psychotic gingers and evil tories I'd probably have married her.

 

Her loss. :(

 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

1 minute ago, Governor Tarkin said:

 

A heart-warming tale for a Sunday evening in the bleak mid-winter, Taz. At least you had your time together.

 

If I didn't have such a penchant for psychotic gingers and evil tories I'd probably have married her.

 

Her loss. :(

 

I like to think I was smooth talking and charming in our time together. In reality I was probably grinning like a deranged monkey and talking shite. 
 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

51 minutes ago, Tazio said:

I like to think I was smooth talking and charming in our time together. In reality I was probably grinning like a deranged monkey and talking shite
 

 

An imbroglio with Imbruglia then?   :kirk:

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Governor Tarkin
17 minutes ago, Auld Reekin' said:

 

An imbroglio with Imbruglia then?   :kirk:

 

Very good, 'Reekin'.

Very good. 

 

:sadrobbo:

Link to comment
Share on other sites

2 hours ago, Tazio said:

I like to think I was smooth talking and charming in our time together. In reality I was probably grinning like a deranged monkey and talking shite. 
 

Still a Spawny Bass regardless.....Or was she? 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

11 hours ago, jonnothejambo said:

 

That was white before he stuck it up his bahooky...

A "Milk Pop" you say?

 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

On 16/01/2021 at 22:58, Tazio said:

Your hoop is in a very finely balanced state normally. Just the right balance of oils in the skin is essential. Go daft and go into a frenzy of scrubbing with toilet paper and you dry it out and it itches like crazy as it’s too dry. 
Or so an ex told me, apparently it’s why men suffer from arse itch worse than women as we aren’t as delicate about wiping. 

That would explain why my missus' rear end smells like a shit smuggler's rucksack 😞

Link to comment
Share on other sites

On 16/01/2021 at 16:53, AlimOzturk said:

You know one of those ones where only a bit of toilet wrapped round the finger and only a slight insert and jiggle cures. 
 

 Aye. I was delievered 30 erdinger beers from a mate who works in a pub but we’re going out of date. Pretty that caused the itchy ring. 
 

 

Seems like an extravagant use of toilet paper to me!  ;)

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.



×
×
  • Create New...