Bad Luck Stories.

[Greedy Jambo]

They say it comes in shrees.

In the last week, the glass panel in my fridge has broke in half, my shower door has snapped off the hinge and my car battery has died. 

 

Beat that. 

 

 

[been here before]

8 minutes ago, Greedy Jambo said:

They say it comes in shrees.

In the last week, the glass panel in my fridge has broke in half, my shower door has snapped off the hinge and my car battery has died. 

 

Beat that. 

 

 

 

 

 

[Smack]

A few months back I needed a screwdriver. Stubbed my toe on the way to the cupboard. Partially recovered, I searched the shelves and found the one I needed at the bottom. Went to stand up and cracked my head off the shelf above. Just froze doing that silent pain seethe thing. At this moment I didn't realise what was going on above me. My nut had rocked the items on the shelf above and the iron decided to plummet on to my skull. 

[Greedy Jambo]

3 minutes ago, Smack said:

A few months back I needed a screwdriver. Stubbed my toe on the way to the cupboard. Partially recovered, I searched the shelves and found the one I needed at the bottom. Went to stand up and cracked my head off the shelf above. Just froze doing that silent pain seethe thing. At this moment I didn't realise what was going on above me. My nut had rocked the items on the shelf above and the iron decided to plummet on to my skull. 

 

I shouldn't laugh, but that was funny 😂

[obua]

14 minutes ago, Greedy Jambo said:

They say it comes in shrees.

In the last week, the glass panel in my fridge has broke in half, my shower door has snapped off the hinge and my car battery has died. 

 

Beat that. 

 

 

You starting a thread is a bad luck story. 

[Victorian]

9 minutes ago, Smack said:

A few months back I needed a screwdriver. Stubbed my toe on the way to the cupboard. Partially recovered, I searched the shelves and found the one I needed at the bottom. Went to stand up and cracked my head off the shelf above. Just froze doing that silent pain seethe thing. At this moment I didn't realise what was going on above me. My nut had rocked the items on the shelf above and the iron decided to plummet on to my skull. 

 

Were you in a Laurel and Hardy film?

[Greedy Jambo]

5 minutes ago, obua said:

You starting a thread is a bad luck story. 

 

Well aint you a ray of sunshine. 

[Dawnrazor]

18 minutes ago, Greedy Jambo said:

They say it comes in shrees.

In the last week, the glass panel in my fridge has broke in half, my shower door has snapped off the hinge and my car battery has died. 

 

Beat that. 

 

 

A Labrador bitch and a Springer bitch I had lined failed to produce pups, apart from the pups I'd have kept for myself I'd have sold the rest for about 25k.

My wife took our VW Golf for an MOT and serrvice had got hit with a 12 hundred quid bill for work on the gearbox and don't get me started on getting a hernia opperation during a bloody pandemic 🤬🤬🤬🤬🤬🤬🤬

[Dawnrazor]

6 minutes ago, BarneyBattles said:

Puppies worth £25k? How many puppies would that be?

Labrador pups, out of a well bred health tested bitch to a Ftch health tested dog are about £2000/2500 per pup,similar quality Springer pups(which mine are) are about £1500.

[Tazio]

13 minutes ago, Dawnrazor said:

Labrador pups, out of a well bred health tested bitch to a Ftch health tested dog are about £2000/2500 per pup,similar quality Springer pups(which mine are) are about £1500.

I missed the fact both dogs were bitches and wondered why anyone would want to crossbreed a lab with a springer spaniel.  That would be a dog that could wear you out quickly. 

[GinRummy]

Was on my way to an interview in 1987 at British Gas. I sat on chewing gum on the bus and got it all over my suit trousers then stood in dug shit on the way from the bus stop to the interview. Was late after sorting myself out and made an arse of the interview because I convinced myself I still smelled of shite.  

[Dawnrazor]

2 minutes ago, Tazio said:

I missed the fact both dogs were bitches and wondered why anyone would want to crossbreed a lab with a springer spaniel.  That would be a dog that could wear you out quickly. 

Even X bred Lab/Springer or Lab/GWP pups are over a grand.

[Marvin]

I've had a compound fracture of tib/fib. A pmuemia and more recently brain surgery and I'm currently on the waiting list for more surgery due to an ongoing health condition.

[GinRummy]

1 minute ago, Marvin said:

I've had a compound fracture of tib/fib. A pmuemia and more recently brain surgery and I'm currently on the waiting list for more surgery due to an ongoing health condition.

I hope you get through it mate. 

[Dawnrazor]

1 minute ago, Marvin said:

I've had a compound fracture of tib/fib. A pmuemia and more recently brain surgery and I'm currently on the waiting list for more surgery due to an ongoing health condition.

Bloody hell Marvin😳😳😳😳...........it's no wonder you're so shite at the Mafia games with all that on your mind🙈🙈🙈

Seriously mate, all the very best to you👍👍👍

[Greedy Jambo]

13 minutes ago, GinRummy said:

Was on my way to an interview in 1987 at British Gas. I sat on chewing gum on the bus and got it all over my suit trousers then stood in dug shit on the way from the bus stop to the interview. Was late after sorting myself out and made an arse of the interview because I convinced myself I still smelled of shite.  

haha, i remember going to an interview back in the day, one of my contact lenses fell out before i got there, ended up up talking to the manger with one eye closed pmsl. 

[Marvin]

To add I also have an ongoing Anxiety issue. 😭

[GinRummy]

Just now, Greedy Jambo said:

haha, i remember going to an interview back in the day, one of my contact lenses fell out before i got there, ended up up talking to the manger with one eye closed pmsl. 

😀 I was always really awkward at interviews. Such an unnatural situation to be put in.

[Greedy Jambo]

3 minutes ago, GinRummy said:

😀 I was always really awkward at interviews. Such an unnatural situation to be put in.

 

Feckin hate them mate, probably why i've been at the same work place for 15 years. 

[been here before]

10 minutes ago, Marvin said:

I've had a compound fracture of tib/fib. A pmuemia and more recently brain surgery and I'm currently on the waiting list for more surgery due to an ongoing health condition.

 

4 minutes ago, Marvin said:

To add I also have an ongoing Anxiety issue. 😭

 

Nae bother apart from that though eh?

[Marvin]

3 minutes ago, been here before said:

 

 

Nae bother apart from that though eh?

 

Does my failing eye sight count 🤓 Last time I visited the opticians, it set me back almost 300 notes 😕

[Morgan]

1 hour ago, Smack said:

A few months back I needed a screwdriver. Stubbed my toe on the way to the cupboard. Partially recovered, I searched the shelves and found the one I needed at the bottom. Went to stand up and cracked my head off the shelf above. Just froze doing that silent pain seethe thing. At this moment I didn't realise what was going on above me. My nut had rocked the items on the shelf above and the iron decided to plummet on to my skull. 

That’s real bad luck, but, really funny!   

 

Sorry  

 

‘It’s the way I tell ‘em’. - Frank Carson  Circa 1975.

 

’Its a cracker’.  

 

 

 

 

[Morgan]

4 minutes ago, Marvin said:

 

Does my failing eye sight count 🤓 Last time I visited the opticians, it set me back almost 300 notes 😕

How is your white heather collection doing, Marv?

[Marvin]

3 minutes ago, Morgan said:

How is your white heather collection doing, Marv?

 

As badly as my 4 leaf clover collection 😭

[Morgan]

1 minute ago, Marvin said:

 

As badly as my 4 leaf clover collection 😭

Good response.  👍

 

You’ll feel better the morn’s night when the Cup is in Gorgie.

 

 

[Marvin]

Just now, Morgan said:

Good response.  👍

 

You’ll feel better the morn’s night when the Cup is in Gorgie.

 

 

 

Got the champagne ready. Good job I've got bags of flexi so can start later on Monday morning 🙂

[Morgan]

1 minute ago, Marvin said:

 

Got the champagne ready. Good job I've got bags of flexi so can start later on Monday morning 🙂

Good man.  👍

 

Hope you can actually see the fridge though!   

[Marvin]

1 minute ago, Morgan said:

Good man.  👍

 

Hope you can actually see the fridge though!   

 

That will be the big white thing at the end of the kitchen.

[Tazio]

Just now, Marvin said:

 

That will be the big white thing at the end of the kitchen.

With your luck you’ll get the wrong big white thing and end up with your head in the oven 🤪

[Morgan]

Just now, Marvin said:

 

That will be the big white thing at the end of the kitchen.

I’ll follow you...

[Morgan]

Just now, Tazio said:

With your luck you’ll get the wrong big white thing and end up with your head in the oven 🤪

 

 

I’ve done that before.  

[Marvin]

1 minute ago, Morgan said:

I’ll follow you...

 

👍

[Marvin]

2 minutes ago, Tazio said:

With your luck you’ll get the wrong big white thing and end up with your head in the oven 🤪

 

Or if I'm really pissed the washer/dryer. 

[Smack]

1 hour ago, Victorian said:

Were you in a Laurel and Hardy film?

 

Wasn't laughing at the time, in fact I've never been more furious in my entire life.  Trying to be optimistic, at least I got a whole bunch of bad luck out the way in one fell swoop.

 

Poor old Marvin, sounds like you've been cursed. As for you Dawnrazor, I usually find it's a relief when a bitch doesn't get pregnant.

[Tazio]

One of the funniest bad luck things I’ve ever seen was a lad I was working with almost knocking himself out. 
He was on his back working underneath a stage platform about a foot high when he violently sneezed. A proper comedy loud sneeze that threw his head forward so he nutted the very heavy immovable platform. Just imagine the sound, a massive sneeze, instantly followed by a massive thud, followed by whimpering. He had an egg like a gold ball in the middle of his forehead when we pulled him out by his feet. 

[CostaJambo]

2 hours ago, GinRummy said:

Was on my way to an interview in 1987 at British Gas. I sat on chewing gum on the bus and got it all over my suit trousers then stood in dug shit on the way from the bus stop to the interview. Was late after sorting myself out and made an arse of the interview because I convinced myself I still smelled of shite.  

Have you heard back from them yet?

[Doctor FinnBarr]

This bad luck story isn't about me but I was present at the event it happened at. About 97 I think, I was at the Bluebell motorcycle rally in Strathyre just north of Callander. Some bloke who's sharing his tent with a mate decides to go for a piss early morning and decides to piss in whatever river runs past (the Leader maybe?). But he stumbles and falls into the river which is high due to snow melt (March) but he managed out due to currents taking him to the opposite bank. Now, had he turned left he would've found a bridge minutes away taking him back into Strathyre but no, he turned north meaning he had to walk for miles to find a crossing. Wet boots, wet socks he had blisters by the time he spotted his nirvana that had dry clothes and a warm sleeping bag, Wrong! When he nipped out for a piss his equally drunk mate had decided to make a cuppa and torched the tent plus all their gear. They got sorted for that night and loadsa folks folk got them sorted with tents/sleeping bags/helmets etc etc in the morning. My mate from Aberdeen woke in the morning to hear folk talking about a tent fire but when he got up there was a brown rectangular shape on the ground next to his tent, he'd slept through the lot.

[JudyJudyJudy]

3 hours ago, GinRummy said:

😀 I was always really awkward at interviews. Such an unnatural situation to be put in.

I recall going to an interview wearing a nice white pair of chinos shirt tie etc ! Yep you guessed it fell on the risks before going in and trousers where covered in mud as there was earth on the ground . Felt like greeting but thought feck it I’ll still go for interview , needless to say didn’t get the job ! 

[trotter]

Not a personal one, but i remember reading it at the time. There was a French university graduate that had spent months looking for a job. He got an interview at an investment bank in London, but because the airline he was supposed to flying on (I can't remember the name, but i'm sure it was British and had 'jet' in the name), had gone bankrupt, he rearranged his interview for the following Monday when he could rearrange a train through the Tunnel rather than fly. Fast forward to Monday and the French staff had gone on strike so no train. 

He finally got to London later in the week, just in time to do his interview with Lehman Brothers the day before they declared bankruptcy...

[Sharpie]

I could start with on 8th October 2019 a gardener driving a lawn mower hit my house putting a small hole in the wall. This led to a neighbour lieing about getting the paint to finish the repair, lieing that he had finally got the paint and when I called the supplier there was no paint. The wee keech came to my door to explain his lie  I told him I didn't want to hear it that he was a liar a despicable little human being and never ever speak to me or come to my house again. I went to my insurance company and got the repair done.

 

In January I sat down at my lovely big Lenovo monitor and found it was not working. Checked it was dead so bought an I Mac worst mistake I ever made hate it.

 

February watching  my Sony one year old less three days Smart TV when a red line went from top to bottom of the screen. I phoned the cable company they checked and said it was the TV contac ted Sony who said they would send me a new TV but at my cost I had to send the old one to Texas. The retailer I bought it from looked after it for me. Got a new TV but only got the three days warranty that was left on the replaced one.

 

In March the gated  community I live in was getting the irrigation started for the summer. Mine was not done because the re[placements that had been done in November were not done on mine. I called the Strata President and he came to my house. He said the water pressure to the irrigation was low that was the problem. We went outside he turned on the water and sure it was just a trickle, and he said see, I then turned the tap further on and there was more water than you could see in the Nile. He then said it could not be turned on because the irrigation had not been replaced. On further conversation he said it was not done because the liar said when he came to my house I threatened to punch him. I told him that was a lie because after  my father beat the daylights out of me when I was fourteen for taking up a a stance to fight him he told me  things about a fight, never threaten,and there are no Queensberry Rules in a street fight, I have lived on that advice, if I am going to hit you when I do that will be your warning.       In April my wife started to show signs of problems confusion, loss of memory signs of Dementia, she refused a doctorssvisit saying if it was she didn't want to know.  

 

In mid July my wife and I sat at her hospital bed when a surgeon advised us she had two months to .live,  her brain tumour was inoperable, but more likely less time. I drove home to tell my  son and granddaughter who were visiting, the Strata President walked well past our house on the other side of the street, I called him over to tell him what I had just been told, his first comment was  who owns this blue car, he was told and then advised me to warn her that she was disobeying the posted signs by speeding . You can probably understand I was in shock so did nothing, I never did tell him the reason for calling him over.

 

I think I am  wee bit justified in saying I will sure be glad when 2020 goes into the history books.   

 

But like the man says you have to look at the good things of life. Sixty four years ago my father had a son who despite his protests went into the Scots Guards three years before, he came out with sergeants stripes on his sleeves, and immediately was appointed a Constable in the Edinburgh City Police. In 1956 he boarded a bus with his policeman son, and the other passengers were all Braid Place policemen. The bus was bound for Hampden Park where Hearts would play Celtic in the Scottish CupFinal, Hearts won, and the bus came home with the team they loved the Scottish Cup holders, life has its ups and downs, but certainly in  mine the ups are more frequent than the downs.

[GinRummy]

5 hours ago, CostaJambo said:

Have you heard back from them yet?

😂

[ri Alban]

9 hours ago, jonesy said:

I live in a country which has, not one, but two incompetent leaders.

 

Car battery also died, but that was thanks to the wife leaving the lights on all night. The warning buzzer was obviously not a big enough fecking clue for her.

Only two. My country has 55 % worth of traitors. 

 

The op has no bad luck, only bad maintenance housekeeping. 

[Marvin]

My mate lost 2 jobs and his home in the space of 6 months. 1st job he lost, the employer fecked off. He turned up to find the building locked up and in darkness, 2nd job was going ok then the pandemic happened and because of problems with UC and the fact that he and his partner were in arrears with their rent when the shit hit the fan they lost their home. Personally I think if they had acted sooner than they did, they could have stopped the eviction, but I don't know the full facts. However they are now in emergency accommodation 20 miles away and are in (England's) Tier 3 lockdown due to falling into the Gloucestershire tier regs. Yet I'm in tier 2 living in NE Somerset.

[Vlad Magic]

Might have told this before?

 

Mate I know down south was on a dry ski slope down south somewhere. Got his run all wrong and ended up going way to fast at the end. Hit the crash barriers at the bottom but momentum took him up and over. Other side of this was a 20 ft drop which he took.

 

At the bottom of the drop was a family having a barbecue. Charcoal barbecue which he landed on!

 

He has scars all over his legs where the coals stuck to his ski wear. 

[John Findlay]

13 hours ago, Smack said:

A few months back I needed a screwdriver. Stubbed my toe on the way to the cupboard. Partially recovered, I searched the shelves and found the one I needed at the bottom. Went to stand up and cracked my head off the shelf above. Just froze doing that silent pain seethe thing. At this moment I didn't realise what was going on above me. My nut had rocked the items on the shelf above and the iron decided to plummet on to my skull. 

You sound like poor Tom in Tom and Jerry🤣

[John Findlay]

1 hour ago, Marvin said:

My mate lost 2 jobs and his home in the space of 6 months. 1st job he lost, the employer fecked off. He turned up to find the building locked up and in darkness, 2nd job was going ok then the pandemic happened and because of problems with UC and the fact that he and his partner were in arrears with their rent when the shit hit the fan they lost their home. Personally I think if they had acted sooner than they did, they could have stopped the eviction, but I don't know the full facts. However they are now in emergency accommodation 20 miles away and are in (England's) Tier 3 lockdown due to falling into the Gloucestershire tier regs. Yet I'm in tier 2 living in NE Somerset.

Posh boy in Bath post🤣

[Marvin]

1 minute ago, John Findlay said:

Posh boy in Bath post🤣

 

Posh? Moi? 

 

[highlandjambo3]

Bare with me....this is a longish story:

 

Went to highland games in Perth few years ago.
I went down the night before and decided to camp in my 1 man tent.  Forgot my sleeping bag so popped into Morrison’s to pick up a cheapie..........got to the campsite, pitched the tent, blew up the air bed only to find it was too long and didn’t fit inside so, my choice was to keep the air bed up and the end would be sticking out the tent (wouldn’t be able to close the door) or, no air bed and close the door.  Decided to keep the air bed up and zip my sleeping bag over my head (for the midges).............got into my sleeping bag only to find out I’d bought a junior sleeping bag, it only came up to my waist...................*** shit nights sleep that was.

[highlandjambo3]

Ive also don’t the “stand on the rake....smack in the puss” comedy sketch clip..........was not a full on frontal skelp but more a side of the head/ear shot......was very sore.....and funny.

[Harry Potter]

On 19/12/2020 at 22:05, Greedy Jambo said:

haha, i remember going to an interview back in the day, one of my contact lenses fell out before i got there, ended up up talking to the manger with one eye closed pmsl. 

Can beat that, my timing belt snapped on the bypass going to an interview at the city hospital.