jamboinglasgow Posted March 15, 2020 Share Posted March 15, 2020 Ever since that league cup semi against Celtic last season, its felt like Hearts have been cursed in the league. So for a bit of fun what caused that curse (ignoring the obvious and boring answer of poor management, recruitment and players.) I'll start. The night before the semi Ann Budge at a party drunkly said that she is more powerful to God, leading to a divine curse on the club. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Restonbabe Posted March 15, 2020 Share Posted March 15, 2020 Piss poor management. Attempting to run the club as a business and not a football club for footballing benefits. (consert on the playing surface) Allowing Craig levein to hold so much power over everything. Piss poor coaches Piss poor scouting We have lost our identity as a club. We badly lack leaders. Who would you back in that team to lead you into battle!? Tynecastle isn't a fortress as it once used to be. Teams don't fear us. Clubs know we press high and hit us on the counter. I can't see it improving anytime soon. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
leginten Posted March 15, 2020 Share Posted March 15, 2020 Craig and Austin had a crunchy bat supper to celebrate the signing of Danny Amankwaa. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jamboinglasgow Posted March 15, 2020 Author Share Posted March 15, 2020 (edited) 1 minute ago, Restonbabe said: Piss poor management. Attempting to run the club as a business and not a football club for footballing benefits. (consert on the playing surface) Allowing Craig levein to hold so much power over everything. Piss poor coaches Piss poor scouting We have lost our identity as a club. We badly lack leaders. Who would you back in that team to lead you into battle!? Tynecastle isn't a fortress as it once used to be. Teams don't fear us. Clubs know we press high and hit us on the counter. I can't see it improving anytime soon. glad to see you didn't read my OP. I was looking for daft answers. Edited March 15, 2020 by jamboinglasgow Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
number-16 Posted March 15, 2020 Share Posted March 15, 2020 Ten years previously, in late October 2008 Romanov used to black magic to get Robbie Neilson back from injury and better servant than ever for the club. Ten years later, the club then had a price to pay for its good fortune with Neilson since then. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
combo74 Posted March 15, 2020 Share Posted March 15, 2020 When Hearts eased off on Hibs in the 2012 Scottish Cup final the footballing gods were not happy and got together to put together a curse; however like all committees it took ages to make a decision about what form the curse would take. When we entered administration they put in on the back burner and assumed we’d go to the wall. However our recovery took them by surprise and they reconvened a few years later after we returned to the SPFL and qualified for Europe. They then set to work... The first phase was to send down one of their messengers, in the form of a plane... Once it had the desired effect and Neilson was gone they sent down messenger two, in the form of Cathro...he then started dismantling things from the inside. However, they didn’t want to make it look too obvious and gave us one last hurrah to make the full curse seem even worse. Once top of the league and in the semi of the cup the unleashed their full wrath! 😀 The message to all is...never go easy on Hibs! 👊 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sawdust Caesar Posted March 15, 2020 Share Posted March 15, 2020 When the old stand was demolished it unearthed the remains of American Indian Chief Laughing Beaver who was buried there 400 years ago after being captured in the US and brought to Edinburgh where he was executed. His remains were just dumped in a skip out back rather than returned home. The newly released malevolant spirit is getting revenge for that ignominy. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Italian Lambretta Posted March 15, 2020 Share Posted March 15, 2020 All started with those shamefull emails telling fans to sit down. From then on it's been one disaster after another. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
redjambo Posted March 15, 2020 Share Posted March 15, 2020 I have no idea, but I strongly suspect that the curse would be lifted in an instant if we fill in all the corners. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bazzas right boot Posted March 15, 2020 Share Posted March 15, 2020 We Never filled the corners in. The stadium gods are vengeful and consistent in thier punishment. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bazzas right boot Posted March 15, 2020 Share Posted March 15, 2020 (edited) 5 minutes ago, redjambo said: I have no idea, but I strongly suspect that the curse would be lifted in an instant if we fill in all the corners. Bah, beaten to it! Edited March 15, 2020 by Smith's right boot Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bazzas right boot Posted March 15, 2020 Share Posted March 15, 2020 8 minutes ago, Italian Lambretta said: All started with those shamefull emails telling fans to sit down. From then on it's been one disaster after another. I blame James. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Gorgie Posted March 15, 2020 Share Posted March 15, 2020 Footballing gods taking in the piss out us as we don't have a scoreboard Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
indianajones Posted March 15, 2020 Share Posted March 15, 2020 Craig Levein has been the constant since leaving the Championship. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SomethingAboutObua Posted March 15, 2020 Share Posted March 15, 2020 God is angry we ruined Peter Haring, as he was the chosen one for football, brought to earth to lead us to a new age (Seriously a player like that just “pops up for free” from the Austrian second tier?? who’s ever heard of the Austrian Second Tier???). We were blessed with him, but Leven took him for granted. Until he returns to lead us out of the darkness and into the new dawn, we shall suffer as he does. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Yoda Posted March 15, 2020 Share Posted March 15, 2020 2 hours ago, leginten said: Craig and Austin had a crunchy bat supper to celebrate the signing of Danny Amankwaa. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jamboinglasgow Posted March 15, 2020 Author Share Posted March 15, 2020 I just had a thought, maybe it was from when that plane through over Tynecastle having a go at Robbie. The footballing gods thought, "you think your watching bad football? We will show you bad football." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest ToqueJambo Posted March 15, 2020 Share Posted March 15, 2020 Can't hep but wonder if Levein's old-school sand dune pre-season training, maybe exacerbated by the constant problems with and changes to our pitch, contributed to the injury problems that started the decline. The sand dunes worked in previous eras but maybe not with modern footballers. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mikey1874 Posted March 15, 2020 Share Posted March 15, 2020 Complacency by Levein. Out of touch with how football has changed. Not getting the players up for the fight. See for example how every other side fights more and has a clear structure and game plan. And complacency by Ann Budge. Letting it happen. Albeit she did realise and has changed it. Hopefully leading to a better set up across the club. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Musemic Posted March 15, 2020 Share Posted March 15, 2020 Maybe one of the builders of the new stand 'planted' an old H1b5 strip under it? Well, they do like to copy, don't they? http://www.deadlinenews.co.uk/2010/06/09/hearts-fan-buries-maroon-momento-under-hibs-new-enclosure/ Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mikey1874 Posted March 15, 2020 Share Posted March 15, 2020 3 hours ago, Italian Lambretta said: All started with those shamefull emails telling fans to sit down. From then on it's been one disaster after another. Ah but... The fans are still standing (and well done too) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mikey1874 Posted March 15, 2020 Share Posted March 15, 2020 2 hours ago, indianajones said: Craig Levein has been the constant since leaving the Championship. He was there before and during the Championship winning season. But he let Robbie get on with it. Cathro was where it badly went wrong Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jambo92 Posted March 15, 2020 Share Posted March 15, 2020 2 hours ago, Mikey1874 said: He was there before and during the Championship winning season. But he let Robbie get on with it. Cathro was where it badly went wrong The first flicker I saw was the Jason Holt situation. For me he was one of our better players coming through the academy and was treated poorly by the decision makers. Shortly after it was the Sam Nicolson situation. I'm not saying these guys are/were world beaters but the way they were almost forced out the club didn't sit well with me. Especially when replaced by guys like Sammon, Muirhead. From then onwards our recruitment got so random and desperate. To present day we have a team of players with no real cohesion and not the right level of mentality to play for a team of our size. I think Cathro appointment and his gutting of Neilson's squad escalated this. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dagger Is Back Posted March 16, 2020 Share Posted March 16, 2020 Vermin tops buried under the new stand during construction. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
colinmaroon Posted March 16, 2020 Share Posted March 16, 2020 Divine Providence! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dunks Posted March 16, 2020 Share Posted March 16, 2020 That twat that washed all his scarves ahead of the semi final Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tott Posted March 16, 2020 Share Posted March 16, 2020 7 hours ago, Sawdust Caesar said: When the old stand was demolished it unearthed the remains of American Indian Chief Laughing Beaver who was buried there 400 years ago after being captured in the US and brought to Edinburgh where he was executed. His remains were just dumped in a skip out back rather than returned home. The newly released malevolant spirit is getting revenge for that ignominy. The curse of laughing beaver extends outwith Tynecastle sadly 😞 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TheBigO Posted March 16, 2020 Share Posted March 16, 2020 7 hours ago, colinmaroon said: Divine Providence! Is that Davy Proven's full name? Might have guessed that little skidmark would be behind this. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TyphoonJambo Posted March 16, 2020 Share Posted March 16, 2020 The wummins team, even though they are only recently formed, they have had a secret meeting (a bit like in the witches of eastwick) in which they collectively decided we are all beasts and got the chief witch (old annie wartface of Pilton) to warp time and apply the curse retrospectively. We have annoyed them in some way. They wont tell us what we done to deserve this response, they will expect us to know. They will comvince you that, whatever it was we done we deserved it and im afraid, from experience, they will continue to remind us of this for many years. Top tip, dont get them drunk, it will be raised again. Were doomed😢 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Robbo-Jambo Posted March 16, 2020 Share Posted March 16, 2020 14 hours ago, Smith's right boot said: I blame James. 😅 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Calebs Grandad Posted March 16, 2020 Share Posted March 16, 2020 16 hours ago, jamboinglasgow said: Ever since that league cup semi against Celtic last season, its felt like Hearts have been cursed in the league. So for a bit of fun what caused that curse (ignoring the obvious and boring answer of poor management, recruitment and players.) I'll start. The night before the semi Ann Budge at a party drunkly said that she is more powerful to God, leading to a divine curse on the club. Not sure there is a problem. Playing in Scotland’s top division next season and remaining unbeaten in the Scottish Cup this season along with the fact we won’t have conceded a single goal or dropped a point from early March until the end of this season. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gowestjambo Posted March 16, 2020 Share Posted March 16, 2020 For a Club of our size, history and support, our malaise has lasted way more than the last 17 months. I cringe when I hear about our records at the likes of St Mirren and St Johnstone. What has always been a mystery to me is that we continually believe we cannot compete with rangers and celtic, but we cannot seem to have that mentality when we play teams with far less resources than us. Our club has certainly been mismanaged over many years until recently, and I fully believe we have underachieved for a club of our potential. It is now time for people to be in charge who have a winners mentality, as this permeates from the top. (Look at the difference we saw when Sandy Clark and Wee Doddy took charge!) Apologies for not giving light hearted funny responses, although I am surprised Lurpack have not offered to sponsor any of our current Goalkeepers...... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tokyowalnut Posted March 16, 2020 Share Posted March 16, 2020 It's the Russians. They are still raging that there were hats kicked about on the news. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sheva Posted March 16, 2020 Share Posted March 16, 2020 When Levein thought natural order was restored......... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Busby8 Posted March 16, 2020 Share Posted March 16, 2020 The great Ross County drum theft. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jr ewing Posted March 16, 2020 Share Posted March 16, 2020 Hibs scarf under the new stand. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shug73 Posted March 16, 2020 Share Posted March 16, 2020 Ann Budge's blind faith in Craig Levein and his abilities. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pettigrewsstylist Posted March 16, 2020 Share Posted March 16, 2020 Poor leadership on and off pitch Complacency Misguided loyalty Snowflakes Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jamboiain13 Posted March 16, 2020 Share Posted March 16, 2020 Craig Levein! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BerraBelieveit Posted March 16, 2020 Share Posted March 16, 2020 The relationship between Craig Levein & Ann Budge. I think Budge was oblivious to anyone else but Levein for so long & Levein could always rely on his so called proper Hearts man status as an excuse. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BerraBelieveit Posted March 16, 2020 Share Posted March 16, 2020 Now see you were after better answers - Craig Levein had £80,000 on a 10/11 favourite horse called Maroon & White. The horse was 40 lengths clear and it was a flat 2 miles. Craig Levein had the winnings spent in his mind and was at peak happiness. The jockey, Vladimir Romanov, just fell off the horse about 1 furlong out & the rank outsider Budgey Business at 100/1 comes through to win. A middle aged women starts dancing on the tables in the bookies - she's got £50 on the nose of Budgey Business and is singing the Hearts song at the top of her lungs. The women throws a cup of cold coffee over Levein's favourite suit and says "that's what you get for pulling a sicky in 86 you specky dinosaur". Levein is now the angriest he has ever been and storms out the bookies, he trips out of the door and lands face flat on the pavement. A maroon and white Airedale passing by, pulls one leg up and pees on his antique brogues before barking to the tune of "Have you heard of the Heart of Midlothian". Craig Levein is the most seething man on planet earth as he gets back to his feet. To add insult to injury - Michael Stewart drives past and splashes a puddle of maroon rain all over him. Craig Levein got home with a vegetable korma, he asked for a lamb madras but was given someone else's order, it was a seriously old man with a maroon and white affro hairdo. He opened the poppadoms and they were in heart shapes. He'd had enough. In anger, promised to ruin Heart of Midlothian Football Club. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
EIEIO Posted March 16, 2020 Share Posted March 16, 2020 1 hour ago, tokyowalnut said: It's the Russians. They are still raging that there were hats kicked about on the news. That ******* Putin needs sorting. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jamhammer Posted March 16, 2020 Share Posted March 16, 2020 Some shop front builder has buried a vermin shirt in the foundation’s of the new stand. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TheBigO Posted March 16, 2020 Share Posted March 16, 2020 Almost definitely voodoo. Craig Levein once knocked a poke of chips oot of Papa Shango's hands ootside the disco chippy on Broughton Street and Christophe Berra laughed at him. Wee bugger's been stickin pins in A-team dolls wi hearts strips on since then. Mostly in their hamstrings and maybe the groin/pelvis/pubis area of the "Face" one (Pete H is a bonafied hunk, likes). Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sawdust Caesar Posted March 16, 2020 Share Posted March 16, 2020 1 hour ago, jonnothejambo said: The last time I saw a laughing beaver was in a Desiree Cousteau porny film. ha ha, there's a blast from the past. Always liked Aunt Peg, an early porn milf. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Thommo414 Posted March 16, 2020 Share Posted March 16, 2020 Someone brought their pet goat to the Motherwell QF and got told to leave, as he was ejected from the ground he declared “them Hearts, they ain’t gonna win no more” and the rest was history. We won’t win a league cup for at least another lifetime imo Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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