RobboM Posted February 15, 2020 Share Posted February 15, 2020 Playing cricket, back in my younger days, no helmets then. I was batting and flicked a ball away to the boundary for 4. Pleased with myself I'm tapping the wicket as you do as the throw comes in from the boundary, clears the wicket keeper and hits me flush on the head. Off to A&E for stitches and it's a messy thing, not a clean cut more like a starburst. I returned a couple of hours later with a big turban bandage and go back in to bat **** concussion 🤕 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
King prawn Posted February 15, 2020 Share Posted February 15, 2020 Cut my head open in a carpet shop Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
luckyBatistuta Posted February 15, 2020 Share Posted February 15, 2020 1 hour ago, Boof said: Brushing your teeth??? very clever Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
¼½¾ Posted February 15, 2020 Share Posted February 15, 2020 18 hours ago, Morgan said: She was behind me on her bike when it happened, so she knew most of the Lindt was fine (except the chocolate I was eating at the time of the incident). The automatic barrier was however, not fine . The port guard took my name and address and said we’d probably have to pay for the damage. This may well have happened if I had given him the correct name and address. I hope it was Monsieur Riordan of 5/1 Rue de Paques. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Morgan Posted February 15, 2020 Share Posted February 15, 2020 Just now, Lemongrab said: I hope it was Monsieur Riordan of 5/1 Rue de Paques. Good one! Unfortunately, I never thought of that. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Morgan Posted February 15, 2020 Share Posted February 15, 2020 9 hours ago, luckyBatistuta said: Not an eye injury, but very close, snapped the old foreskin. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
luckyBatistuta Posted February 15, 2020 Share Posted February 15, 2020 23 minutes ago, Morgan said: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tazio Posted February 15, 2020 Share Posted February 15, 2020 20 hours ago, All roads lead to Gorgie said: Elbow injury after trying to put jeans on in the bathroom after a shower. Didn't dry my feet properly and one of them got stuck in the leg, started hopping around and then slipped on the wet floor. Fell right on the elbow, ouch! In the same style I dislocated a toe trying to take my trousers off while ridiculously pished. Apparently my girlfriend at the time (sober and annoyed at the state I came home in) had told me several times to sit on the edge of the bed to take them off as I had little balance left. I didn't realise until the next day as being thoroughly pished I'd slept in my socks (just my socks rather oddly) and slept in for work so just chucked some clothes on and got a taxi. I spent all morning moaning about having a sore foot, then took my sock of at lunchtime to check and discovered the toe next to my big toe now had a 90 degree bend in it. She thought it was hilarious, me less so knowing that I'd have to go and get it re-set at the hospital. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ri Alban Posted February 15, 2020 Share Posted February 15, 2020 10 hours ago, luckyBatistuta said: Not an eye injury, but very close, snapped the old foreskin. 3 hours ago, Boof said: Brushing your teeth??? It's the name of his Pit bull. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Robbo-Jambo Posted February 15, 2020 Share Posted February 15, 2020 On 14/02/2020 at 17:32, Morgan said: Mine (a few years ago) involved a bag of Lindt chocolates, a bike and the automatic barrier that is supposed ( ) to keep people out of the port area, unless they have a boat berthed there. Resulted in a bashed head and nose, and a very red face. Tell us more M. Bit vague 😉 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
andyscott82 Posted February 15, 2020 Share Posted February 15, 2020 I bet nobody else on here has broken their own ankle with a ten pin bowling ball... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
superjack Posted February 15, 2020 Share Posted February 15, 2020 1 hour ago, andyscott82 said: I bet nobody else on here has broken their own ankle with a ten pin bowling ball... No, but I once ripped my ear in half after slipping on some ice. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RS86 Posted February 15, 2020 Share Posted February 15, 2020 I've had a few cracking injuries mainly gym and competition related, but my most recent injury was last week running out to the bins in my socks while it was pouring down and dark, ran straight into a broken paving slab I had moved earlier and forgot about. Dislocated my toe. Thought it was broken until next morning when I spotted some blood and started cleaning it up and it popped back into place Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Doctor FinnBarr Posted February 16, 2020 Share Posted February 16, 2020 12 hours ago, RobboM said: Playing cricket, back in my younger days, no helmets then. I was batting and flicked a ball away to the boundary for 4. Pleased with myself I'm tapping the wicket as you do as the throw comes in from the boundary, clears the wicket keeper and hits me flush on the head. Off to A&E for stitches and it's a messy thing, not a clean cut more like a starburst. I returned a couple of hours later with a big turban bandage and go back in to bat **** concussion 🤕 My old man still has a scar above his eye after being hit by a cricket ball in Egypt whilst in the RAF at the end of WW2, 94 now Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
luckyBatistuta Posted February 16, 2020 Share Posted February 16, 2020 4 hours ago, FinnBarr Saunders said: My old man still has a scar above his eye after being hit by a cricket ball in Egypt whilst in the RAF at the end of WW2, 94 now I’ve still got a scar on my lower lip from childhood, when my dad whacked me in the face with a badminton racket (total accident, doubles match and we were on the same team) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gjcc Posted February 16, 2020 Share Posted February 16, 2020 1 hour ago, luckyBatistuta said: I’ve still got a scar on my lower lip from childhood, when my dad whacked me in the face with a badminton racket (total accident, doubles match and we were on the same team) That’s what I’d say too if I wanted to get away with hitting my son with a badminton racket. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Harry Potter Posted February 16, 2020 Share Posted February 16, 2020 On 14/02/2020 at 16:38, AlimOzturk said: Apparently I had a fight with a traffic cone one night and ended up breaking my metatarsal bone. I say apparently because I was so hammered I cant remember said encounter but my mates all happily ripped the pish out of me for it Rolled off my bed on to a wine glass, rushed to the royal in an ambulance, 7 stitches inserted.in my elbow. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bull's-eye Posted February 16, 2020 Share Posted February 16, 2020 7 minutes ago, Harry Potter said: Rolled off my bed on to a wine glass, rushed to the royal in an ambulance, 7 stitches inserted.in my elbow. You forgot to mention being dropped on your head as a bairn. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Harry Potter Posted February 16, 2020 Share Posted February 16, 2020 1 hour ago, Bull's-eye said: You forgot to mention being dropped on your head as a bairn. Fell out my pram, stand corrected, Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Morgan Posted February 16, 2020 Share Posted February 16, 2020 1 hour ago, Harry Potter said: Rolled off my bed on to a wine glass, rushed to the royal in an ambulance, 7 stitches inserted.in my elbow. I just know I’m going to regret asking this but, why did you have a wine glass on the floor beside your bed, Harry? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ri Alban Posted February 16, 2020 Share Posted February 16, 2020 1 minute ago, Morgan said: I just know I’m going to regret asking this but, why did you have a wine glass on the floor beside your bed, Harry? So that he could roll onto it. Keep up, Morgs! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Morgan Posted February 16, 2020 Share Posted February 16, 2020 Just now, ri Alban said: So that he could roll onto it. Keep up, Morgs! Knew I’d regret asking! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ri Alban Posted February 16, 2020 Share Posted February 16, 2020 Just now, Morgan said: Knew I’d regret asking! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Harry Potter Posted February 16, 2020 Share Posted February 16, 2020 4 minutes ago, Morgan said: I just know I’m going to regret asking this but, why did you have a wine glass on the floor beside your bed, Harry? I was actually with someone at the time..i forgot the glass was there. Blood everywhere, police came 1st and they were going to take me as i was losing blood, but the ambulance turned up. nightmare , my dad was not very happy with me, was 21 at the time. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jeff Posted February 16, 2020 Share Posted February 16, 2020 Once sliced my ear adjusting a work bench Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cruyff Posted February 16, 2020 Share Posted February 16, 2020 (edited) I once burst the fluid sac in my knee by hitting myself in the kneecap with a hammer (accidentally, obv). Woke up the next morning, knee the size of a melon, diagnosed with prepattelar bursitis. Edited February 16, 2020 by Cruyff Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Der Kaiser Posted February 16, 2020 Share Posted February 16, 2020 Electrocuted myself in my teens. Came home from school and noticed the washing machine had leaked....right on to the extension socket it was plugged into. I thought "How dangerous is that" and promptly picked it up to move it out of the water...... It was a weird sensation to be gripping so tightly to something and seemingly unable to let go....thankfully it wasnt serious. Although I do remember breathing really strangely for the rest of the day and having that jerky feeling like you had when you were a wee kid and had been crying a lot..... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Der Kaiser Posted February 16, 2020 Share Posted February 16, 2020 Also.. Decorating my sons room years ago I took an internet wire off the wall to paint. It was held on with those wee plastic hooks with a nail on one side. I tried to hop over the paint tin and stood flush on the nail which buried into my heel. I pulled the nail out with a pair of scissors and a chunk of my heel, almost identical in size and shape to the pieces of pie you get in trivial pursuit came out. I wasnt sure what to do so i just pushed it back in my foot and put a plaster on it to keep it in. My jaw was sore the next day which I only later realised was a mild symptom of tetanus. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
martoon Posted February 16, 2020 Author Share Posted February 16, 2020 16 minutes ago, Der Kaiser said: Electrocuted myself in my teens. Came home from school and noticed the washing machine had leaked....right on to the extension socket it was plugged into. I thought "How dangerous is that" and promptly picked it up to move it out of the water...... It was a weird sensation to be gripping so tightly to something and seemingly unable to let go....thankfully it wasnt serious. Although I do remember breathing really strangely for the rest of the day and having that jerky feeling like you had when you were a wee kid and had been crying a lot..... 10 minutes ago, Der Kaiser said: Also.. Decorating my sons room years ago I took an internet wire off the wall to paint. It was held on with those wee plastic hooks with a nail on one side. I tried to hop over the paint tin and stood flush on the nail which buried into my heel. I pulled the nail out with a pair of scissors and a chunk of my heel, almost identical in size and shape to the pieces of pie you get in trivial pursuit came out. I wasnt sure what to do so i just pushed it back in my foot and put a plaster on it to keep it in. My jaw was sore the next day which I only later realised was a mild symptom of tetanus. Feck sake. 😭 How did it turn out, heel wise? Still intact, chunk missing, cosmetic surgery...? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
martoon Posted February 16, 2020 Author Share Posted February 16, 2020 My eyesight has improved on a daily basis, since you ask. Which none of you did. Uncaring sods. 😢 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
InNothingWeTrust Posted February 16, 2020 Share Posted February 16, 2020 My wife worked in a cafe during her uni days. She was cleaning up at the end of the day with a mop, and she somehow managed to bash the top of the handle (made of rubber) into her eye. After the initial pain/shock, she noticed she had removed all the eyelashes from her eye 😂 Although not an injury as such, it caused her eye to water constantly until the eyelashes grew back 😅 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
3fingersreid Posted February 16, 2020 Share Posted February 16, 2020 Tore my medial ligament changing my daughters nappy . Bad habit of when changing her nappy on the floor I would tuck my right leg under my left , made the mistake of leaving the sudacream lying too close to her, as she reached for it I stretched out to grab it , all my weight onto the right knee and bang ligament tear . Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Doctor FinnBarr Posted February 16, 2020 Share Posted February 16, 2020 14 hours ago, BarneyBattles said: I know a guy who lost an eye due to his dad accidentally firing an arrow at him. How on earth do you accidentally fire an arrow at someone? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Deodato Posted February 16, 2020 Share Posted February 16, 2020 A tenth of the Scottish civil service is out on incapacity benefits Bizarre but to be expected, given their contracts. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jamhammer Posted February 17, 2020 Share Posted February 17, 2020 (edited) On 14/02/2020 at 17:20, Smithee said: I got a shoulder subluxation (dislocation that gets stuck half way out) from a morning stretch, shoulder's still a mess 3 years later. I did mine in a car crash. Hospital said it wasn’t dislocated but It clicked back a couple of days later and now I can pop it reaching for stuff or stretching/yawning. It hurts but sounds worse than it is I once got a fishing hook stuck on my cheek. That was a ******* Edited February 17, 2020 by Jamhammer Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ri Alban Posted February 17, 2020 Share Posted February 17, 2020 (edited) I once bounced a nail which was stuck in the claw of my hammer, right into my eye. Blood everywhere and could only see people's outlines with a light where their bodies should be. Just for a minute or two, tho I was panicking. Most injuries I've had are from work or training. Fallen from the ridge 20+ ft onto scaffolding snapping everything except the bone in my ankle. Then through a roof into a house I was tiling because someone who battened it, missed a nail at the joins. I looked like someone had taken a bat to me. Luck I missed the open stairwell with no stairs, anaw. I once broke my ankle taking one of my dogs a walk. It was pitch black and I stood where I thought the grass was, but I lorry had chewed it up creating a big ditch. Snap!!! I only know it broken(Pain excluded) because it showed up in the x-ray I had when I fell from the ridge. Self employment has its downside. Edited February 17, 2020 by ri Alban Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ribble Posted February 17, 2020 Share Posted February 17, 2020 Ripped foreskin from a one-night stand Tear in my patella tendon taking a bye kick One night after a few after work pints there were roadworks on St Andrews Sq and i'd gone the wrong way on the footpath diversion, instead of walking back I tried simply jumping over the not overly large barrier, landed on some black ice and somehow managed to fracture 3 metatarsals in my foot, could hardly walk for weeks Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Der Kaiser Posted February 17, 2020 Share Posted February 17, 2020 14 hours ago, martoon said: Feck sake. 😭 How did it turn out, heel wise? Still intact, chunk missing, cosmetic surgery...? Had a limp for a few days but it just healed back together eventually....... I put new plasters on top over the following days as I was scared if I pulled it off it would come out. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
martoon Posted February 19, 2020 Author Share Posted February 19, 2020 Eye Pavilion this afternoon. The toothbrush injury has healed. 😋👍 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Morgan Posted February 19, 2020 Share Posted February 19, 2020 7 minutes ago, martoon said: Eye Pavilion this afternoon. The toothbrush injury has healed. 😋👍 Phew! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
martoon Posted February 19, 2020 Author Share Posted February 19, 2020 2 minutes ago, Morgan said: Phew! Cheers, bud. 👍 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Phage Posted February 19, 2020 Share Posted February 19, 2020 Guy I knew tried to jump into his trousers two legs at the same time. Looked a bit like a skipping rope action. Promised everybody watching he had practised and that it was spectacular, was pretty eager to show off his new party piece..... Fell on his at full force, bust his nose good and cracked his cheekbone or eye socket or something. So a pretty serious injury and a ton of blood everywhere. Otherwise would have been hilarious, dazed and confused, trousers around etc Dont try it at home. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
¼½¾ Posted February 19, 2020 Share Posted February 19, 2020 In physics at school, some eejit turned on the power pack before I went to connect the leads from it to the circuit we'd built (or more like this eejit didn't check if it was on). Both arms jerking like crazy, and I couldn't let go of the crocodile clips I was holding. Ended up with burns on my thumbs and index fingers on both hands. 30 odd years ago, I went to disconnect my electric cooker and discovered I had turned off the wrong fuse, when I was thrown across the kitchen. Scary as feck, but no injuries. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Never Let Them Forget Posted February 19, 2020 Share Posted February 19, 2020 I shot myself with a nail gun up through my hand, didn’t feel it going in but the look on my work mates face said it all. It was an 88mm nail also 😩 Straight to Hospital then on removal blood squirting everywhere!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ri Alban Posted February 20, 2020 Share Posted February 20, 2020 8 hours ago, Phage said: Guy I knew tried to jump into his trousers two legs at the same time. Looked a bit like a skipping rope action. Promised everybody watching he had practised and that it was spectacular, was pretty eager to show off his new party piece..... Fell on his at full force, bust his nose good and cracked his cheekbone or eye socket or something. So a pretty serious injury and a ton of blood everywhere. Otherwise would have been hilarious, dazed and confused, trousers around etc Dont try it at home. Knew a guy, did ye? How's yer face? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Harry Potter Posted February 20, 2020 Share Posted February 20, 2020 Larking about the science class at Craigmount school aged about 14, getting chased round the class and some clown had left a drawer open, ran in to the drawer and split my leg open at shin height. 8 stiches but infection set in and my leg swelled up, , antibiotics sorted the situation. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
IronJambo Posted February 20, 2020 Share Posted February 20, 2020 12 hours ago, Phage said: Guy I knew tried to jump into his trousers two legs at the same time. Looked a bit like a skipping rope action. Promised everybody watching he had practised and that it was spectacular, was pretty eager to show off his new party piece..... Fell on his at full force, bust his nose good and cracked his cheekbone or eye socket or something. So a pretty serious injury and a ton of blood everywhere. Otherwise would have been hilarious, dazed and confused, trousers around etc Dont try it at home. Like this? I'm sure there's a video of a squaddie running half way across a room to do it and failing badly. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ri Alban Posted February 20, 2020 Share Posted February 20, 2020 2 hours ago, Harry Potter said: Larking about the science class at Craigmount school aged about 14, getting chased round the class and some clown had left a drawer open, ran in to the drawer and split my leg open at shin height. 8 stiches but infection set in and my leg swelled up, , antibiotics sorted the situation. When I was about 8 some prick throw an aerosol can into a fire and it exploded and embedded into my inner thigh, red hot. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Harry Potter Posted February 20, 2020 Share Posted February 20, 2020 19 minutes ago, ri Alban said: When I was about 8 some prick throw an aerosol can into a fire and it exploded and embedded into my inner thigh, red hot. What a stupid thing to do mate, hope you got over that. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ri Alban Posted February 20, 2020 Share Posted February 20, 2020 1 hour ago, Harry Potter said: What a stupid thing to do mate, hope you got over that. Scarred for life, but hey I've had worse since. 👍 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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