Dugs (or Dogs, if you prefer)

[Maple Leaf]

My granddaughter has two dogs. One is an Alsation and the other is a Standard Poodle.

 

Last evening, she and her partner had just sat down to eat dinner when they heard a loud commotion outside. They rushed out, to find that the Alsation had been sprayed by a skunk. That's the 5th time in five years, so it's obviously not the sharpest knife in the drawer.

 

The Alsation hates water. Nevertheless, they wrestled it into the house and up the stairs and into the bathtub, where they had a 15 minute battle to get it washed. Soaked through and thoroughly pissed-off, they went back downstairs to eat their dinner, only to discover that the poodle had jumped onto the table and eaten every scrap of food!  Plus the two paper napkins. 

 

Sometime during the night, it barfed the lot up again onto the carpet.

 

Dugs! You gotta luv 'em.

[jake]

I've never had my own dug or cat.

But I've lived with two lassies one had two cats the other a dug and a cat.

 

I love animals but no chance would I have a pet.

My current bird has a dug.

And it farts begs and gets treated like a baby.

 

Annoying

[Morgan]

1 hour ago, jake said:

I've never had my own dug or cat.

But I've lived with two lassies one had two cats the other a dug and a cat.

 

I love animals but no chance would I have a pet.

My current bird has a dug.

And it farts begs and gets treated like a baby

 

Annoying

You’ve just described my wife.

[jake]

29 minutes ago, Morgan said:

You’ve just described my wife.

Nae chance a cool chavi like yersel has that going on mate.

[Auld Reekin']

31 minutes ago, Morgan said:

You’ve just described my wife.

 

*tries to think of way to introduce the phrase "doggy-style" into thread without being gratuitously-offensive but fails miserably*

[Lovecraft]

 

[Lovecraft]

Dogs are ****ing idiots.

 

That's why they are so great.

 

 

[Morgan]

31 minutes ago, jake said:

Nae chance a cool chavi like yersel has that going on mate.

 

You'd be surprised, Jake.  Honestly you would.  

 

28 minutes ago, Auld Reekin' said:

 

*tries to think of way to introduce the phrase "doggy-style" into thread without being gratuitously-offensive but fails miserably*

 

It wouldn’t have offended me, AR.

 

I’d probably have laughed my head off, to be honest.  :

[Салатные палочки]

29 minutes ago, Lovecraft said:

 

 

 daft dugs. 

[Herbert.]

I love dogs. my one is daft and pretty defiant when she wants to be but she has personality and I wouldn't change her. Cats on the other hand are vicious,selfish wee *******s.

[3fingersreid]

1 hour ago, Lovecraft said:

 

Is that the dog equivalent of pavement dancing fitba fans 

[felix]

5 hours ago, Maple Leaf said:

My granddaughter has two dogs. One is an Alsation and the other is a Standard Poodle.

 

Last evening, she and her partner had just sat down to eat dinner when they heard a loud commotion outside. They rushed out, to find that the Alsation had been sprayed by a skunk. That's the 5th time in five years, so it's obviously not the sharpest knife in the drawer.

 

The Alsation hates water. Nevertheless, they wrestled it into the house and up the stairs and into the bathtub, where they had a 15 minute battle to get it washed. Soaked through and thoroughly pissed-off, they went back downstairs to eat their dinner, only to discover that the poodle had jumped onto the table and eaten every scrap of food!  Plus the two paper napkins. 

 

Sometime during the night, it barfed the lot up again onto the carpet.

 

Dugs! You gotta luv 'em.

Incredible story.

You're a grandad . Thought you were younger.

Edited August 30, 2019 by felix

[¼½¾]

5 hours ago, Maple Leaf said:

My granddaughter has two dogs. One is an Alsation and the other is a Standard Poodle.

 

Last evening, she and her partner had just sat down to eat dinner when they heard a loud commotion outside. They rushed out, to find that the Alsation had been sprayed by a skunk. That's the 5th time in five years, so it's obviously not the sharpest knife in the drawer.

 

The Alsation hates water. Nevertheless, they wrestled it into the house and up the stairs and into the bathtub, where they had a 15 minute battle to get it washed. Soaked through and thoroughly pissed-off, they went back downstairs to eat their dinner, only to discover that the poodle had jumped onto the table and eaten every scrap of food!  Plus the two paper napkins. 

 

Sometime during the night, it barfed the lot up again onto the carpet.

 

Dugs! You gotta luv 'em.

 

Got a puppy a couple of weeks ago. I'll be expecting some shenanigans from wee Henry and his big brother in the future. I'm just glad we don't have skunks here. 🤮

[AlimOzturk]

Had several dogs. Staffie, Pitbull, Corgie and Jack Russel. The Jack Russel was the biggest ******* of them all and caused me the most bother. Loved all.of them however. 

 

Got a cat ATM. Decent wee thing but just not the same. Would love a dog but just would not be fair ATM. 

 

Not to mention it almost breaks me each time they pass away. 

[Maple Leaf]

9 minutes ago, Lemongrab said:

 

Got a puppy a couple of weeks ago. I'll be expecting some shenanigans from wee Henry and his big brother in the future. I'm just glad we don't have skunks here. 🤮

 

Indeed. They're harmless looking wee things, so the dogs always go for them, but the skunk almost always wins.  The dog finishes up whining and greetin' and rolling around on the ground trying to wipe the stinking goop off it's face.

 

2 minutes ago, AlimOzturk said:

Had several dogs. Staffie, Pitbull, Corgie and Jack Russel. The Jack Russel was the biggest ******* of them all and caused me the most bother. Loved all.of them however. 

 

Got a cat ATM. Decent wee thing but just not the same. Would love a dog but just would not be fair ATM. 

 

Not to mention it almost breaks me each time they pass away. 

 

Tell me about it.  Heartbreaking. I've lost three in my life, with another one soon to follow.  It's awful.

[Maple Leaf]

49 minutes ago, felix said:

Incredible story.

You're a grandad . Thought you were younger.

 

I wish.

[Unknown user]

I've finally got permission to get a dog, and no money to do it - I swear she's just constantly one step ahead !

 

If any of you are looking just now, please consider Saving Romanian Strays on Facebook, they rescue loads of good old mongrel dogs, get them treated, flown over here and rehoused, they're a great cause. 

[Tommy Brown]

5 hours ago, jake said:

I've never had my own dug or cat.

But I've lived with two lassies one had two cats the other a dug and a cat.

 

I love animals but no chance would I have a pet.

My current bird has a dug.

And it farts begs and gets treated like a baby.

 

Annoying

She must be a looker, Jake.

I would never put up with my bird farting, begging and being treated like a baby.

[Joey J J Jr Shabadoo]

12 hours ago, Lovecraft said:

 

Reminded me of this

 

 

Dogs are more intelligent, though.

Edited August 31, 2019 by Joey J J Jr Shabadoo

[Captain Sausage]

Can’t stand dogs. Or cats. Or any pet.

 

Sack cleaning up dugshite, having to take an hour out of my day to walk an animal or being tied to home because you can’t go on holiday without putting it in a kennel. 

 

Just don’t get it. 

[AlimOzturk]

18 minutes ago, Captain Sausage said:

Can’t stand dogs. Or cats. Or any pet.

 

Sack cleaning up dugshite, having to take an hour out of my day to walk an animal or being tied to home because you can’t go on holiday without putting it in a kennel. 

 

Just don’t get it. 

 

 I have always had family to look after my dogs for me. Walking the dog was always an enjoyable experience and I always preferred holidays with the dog in the UK anyways. 

 

Each to there own  

[Horatio Caine]

16 hours ago, Morgan said:

You’ve just described my wife.

Sure you're not mixing her up with her sister?

[Captain Sausage]

1 hour ago, AlimOzturk said:

 

 I have always had family to look after my dogs for me. Walking the dog was always an enjoyable experience and I always preferred holidays with the dog in the UK anyways. 

 

Each to there own  

 

Absolutely. If it’s your bag, crack on. I just don’t get it personally. 

[glynnlondon]

Both a dug and a skunk.

The *****

 

 

[Morgan]

43 minutes ago, Horatio Caine said:

Sure you're not mixing her up with her sister?

Honestly, if you saw them side by side, you would know that there is no way that there could be a confusion.  No way.

[Morgan]

1 hour ago, Captain Sausage said:

Can’t stand dogs. Or cats. Or any pet.

 

Sack cleaning up dugshite, having to take an hour out of my day to walk an animal or being tied to home because you can’t go on holiday without putting it in a kennel. 

 

Just don’t get it. 

I can’t stand cats and dogs either.  

 

Also, I don’t trust cats and I’m scared of dogs.

[jb102]

1 minute ago, Morgan said:

I can’t stand cats and dogs either.  

 

Also, I don’t trust cats and I’m scared of dogs.

But how do you retrieve the pheasants my good man?

[Morgan]

3 minutes ago, jb102 said:

But how do you retrieve the pheasants my good man?

Wife collects them.   

[jb102]

2 minutes ago, Morgan said:

Wife collects them.   

I hope she has a soft mouth.

[Morgan]

18 minutes ago, jb102 said:

I hope she has a soft mouth.

Oh, definitely.

[Jambof3tornado]

I like nothing better than unwinding after a 12 hour shift by walking the dog then relaxing on the sofa rubbing his belly!!

 

Currently fighting the ******* for the duvet...he is winning!!

 

[queensferryjambo]

I had never owned a dog in my life (I am 48 now). My wife and kids eventually got me to buckle and we got a Westie earlier this year. 

 

Wife + kids have as predicted slacked off from walking / poo duties etc.

Unexpectedly I love the wee guy and think getting a dog has been one of the best things I have ever done. Love the walks with him and has actually been good to get out and about. He is still daft as a brush but great fun.  Never got it until I got one but dogs are great. Still can't stand cats though  

 

Oh and he is unimaginatively named Jock (the Jambo of course) and I am currently trying to get him to growl when I say Hibees.   

 

Cute puppy pictures for the Hearts fan dog lovers. Hopefully annoy the miserable dog hater as well  

 

 

[Maple Leaf]

1 hour ago, queensferryjambo said:

I had never owned a dog in my life (I am 48 now). My wife and kids eventually got me to buckle and we got a Westie earlier this year. 

 

Wife + kids have as predicted slacked off from walking / poo duties etc.

Unexpectedly I love the wee guy and think getting a dog has been one of the best things I have ever done. Love the walks with him and has actually been good to get out and about. He is still daft as a brush but great fun.  Never got it until I got one but dogs are great. Still can't stand cats though  

 

Oh and he is unimaginatively named Jock (the Jambo of course) and I am currently trying to get him to growl when I say Hibees.   

 

Cute puppy pictures for the Hearts fan dog lovers. Hopefully annoy the miserable dog hater as well  

 

 

 

Great pictures.  I adore Westies. Cutest dogs ever. I've had two.

[Armageddon]

Our dog was 6 months, we left her for maybe 2 hours in the crate.... came home and she had shat in her crate and ate it.... at about 4am she spewed that up in the living room and ate that too  Some experience that was.

[J.T.F.Robertson]

15 minutes ago, Maple Leaf said:

 

Great pictures. 

 

Aye. If only they were representative of life. (if you ken what I mean)

I have a moggie and pretty much always have done, but love dugs anaw. In fact, the aulder I get, the more I prefer just about any animal over our own species.

 

Present company obviously excluded.

 

[Maple Leaf]

33 minutes ago, Armageddon said:

Our dog was 6 months, we left her for maybe 2 hours in the crate.... came home and she had shat in her crate and ate it.... at about 4am she spewed that up in the living room and ate that too  Some experience that was.

 

21 minutes ago, J.T.F.Robertson said:

 

Aye. If only they were representative of life. (if you ken what I mean)

I have a moggie and pretty much always have done, but love dugs anaw. In fact, the aulder I get, the more I prefer just about any animal over our own species.

 

Present company obviously excluded.

 

 

We wrinkle up our noses at the thought of a dug shitting in it's own bed, but that's exactly what humans are doing when it comes to our environment.

 

But that's a deeper subject for a different thread.

[Crete]

22 hours ago, queensferryjambo said:

I had never owned a dog in my life (I am 48 now). My wife and kids eventually got me to buckle and we got a Westie earlier this year. 

 

Wife + kids have as predicted slacked off from walking / poo duties etc.

Unexpectedly I love the wee guy and think getting a dog has been one of the best things I have ever done. Love the walks with him and has actually been good to get out and about. He is still daft as a brush but great fun.  Never got it until I got one but dogs are great. Still can't stand cats though  

 

Oh and he is unimaginatively named Jock (the Jambo of course) and I am currently trying to get him to growl when I say Hibees.   

 

Cute puppy pictures for the Hearts fan dog lovers. Hopefully annoy the miserable dog hater as well  

 

 

So cute.😍🇱🇻.

 

[Bridge of Djoum]

[Jamhammer]

We're gonna rescue a dog when we come back from our Hols end of the month. Need a dog that can live wi cats, which is generally tricky. Can't wait. Always had a dog growing up. I love me cats but dugs are more entertaining.

[ri Alban]

Thinking of what toy to get for my Lab for her Christmas. I think I'll just buy her a pair of Slippers, then hopefully she'll leave mine alone. 

Maybe all dog toys should be a pair of Slippers. Pup-Ripped Slippers, Young dog-Vanishing Slippers, Old dog-walks about with slipper in the mouth. 

 

 

Or it might just be every dog I've had, and not dogs. 

Edited December 19, 2019 by ri Alban

[Vlad Magic]

I would be completely lost with out my dog. 6 year old Springer Spaniel. Had her since she was 8 weeks old but very nearly gave her up after a few months. Struggled adapting to life with a dog in my life. Springers are difficult at that age as they are completely bonkers! 

 

Fortunately I stuck with her and began her gun dog training. Got her on the whistle for recalling and introduced her to the bangs, noises and smells associated with shooting.

 

Fast forward to now and we are inseparable. Where I goes she goes. More human than dog. Extremely good natured and does anything for a tummy tickle yet can be relied on to pick my bird if I’m out shooting. She’s not perfect but she’s more pet than gun dog and that suits me just fine.

 

She came into my life when I was struggling a bit. Very nearly was sent back to where she came from but ended up changing my life forever.

 

Raids the bin now and again given the chance, has eaten vast quantities of pretty much everything bad for dogs including Christmas cakes, tins of chocolates and hallucinogenic mushrooms, yet is still as fit, healthy and spoiled as the day I picked her up.

 

Truly mans best friend.

[John Gentleman]

As Winston Churchill (allegedly) said....

"I like pigs.

Dogs look up to you because they're dependent.

Cats look down on you because they're aloof.

But pigs? They always treat you as equal."

[Салатные палочки]

On 01/09/2019 at 15:50, queensferryjambo said:

I had never owned a dog in my life (I am 48 now). My wife and kids eventually got me to buckle and we got a Westie earlier this year. 

 

Wife + kids have as predicted slacked off from walking / poo duties etc.

Unexpectedly I love the wee guy and think getting a dog has been one of the best things I have ever done. Love the walks with him and has actually been good to get out and about. He is still daft as a brush but great fun.  Never got it until I got one but dogs are great. Still can't stand cats though  

 

Oh and he is unimaginatively named Jock (the Jambo of course) and I am currently trying to get him to growl when I say Hibees.   

 

Cute puppy pictures for the Hearts fan dog lovers. Hopefully annoy the miserable dog hater as well  

 

 

 

 what a wee cracker. 

[Vlad Magic]

23 minutes ago, jonnothejambo said:

 

Lovely post, Vlad. Getting a bit emotional reading your post. I need to feckin man up.

 

This is her.

[Lovecraft]

On 01/09/2019 at 15:50, queensferryjambo said:

I had never owned a dog in my life (I am 48 now). My wife and kids eventually got me to buckle and we got a Westie earlier this year. 

 

Wife + kids have as predicted slacked off from walking / poo duties etc.

Unexpectedly I love the wee guy and think getting a dog has been one of the best things I have ever done. Love the walks with him and has actually been good to get out and about. He is still daft as a brush but great fun.  Never got it until I got one but dogs are great. Still can't stand cats though  

 

Oh and he is unimaginatively named Jock (the Jambo of course) and I am currently trying to get him to growl when I say Hibees.   

 

Cute puppy pictures for the Hearts fan dog lovers. Hopefully annoy the miserable dog hater as well  

 

 

 Amazing.

 

How are you getting on with him?

 

I'm looking at getting a dog, and most probably a Westie.

 

How's his temperament?

Where did you get him?

Does he bark?

Is he ever left alone?

 

 

[Maple Leaf]

Some great pictures there!!  🐶

 

I don't own a dog anymore, but my family have several, I think it's seven, and I love them all.

 

The boss of the clan is a 14-year old Westie.  She's nearly deaf and nearly blind, but she rules the roost.  We have a rescue dog from Colombia which is daft as a brush and has no tail. We have a rescue dog from Israel which is mild-mannered and easy going until he sees a squirrel or a raccoon or a skunk, then he goes absolutely berserk. The body count is over 10 now, in less than three years.

 

Cats are OK, but I absolutely luv dugs.

[Vlad Magic]

5 hours ago, jonnothejambo said:

 

She is gorgeous.

 

She is. She’s also just pinched half a loaf of Kingsmill 50/50 off the counter while I was in the pub!!!!

[queensferryjambo]

6 hours ago, Lovecraft said:

 Amazing.

 

How are you getting on with him?

 

I'm looking at getting a dog, and most probably a Westie.

 

How's his temperament?

Where did you get him?

Does he bark?

Is he ever left alone?

 

 

 

He is almost a year old now. His temperament is really nice he doesn't bark or growl at people or other dogs. He is still very excitable and playful with people but after a couple of minutes of attention he generally lies down and doses off.

 

He does get left on his own but never for any real length of time. I work shifts, we have kids in the house and my wife works close to home so always comes home at lunch every day so max 3 hours on his own and that is very rare. He stays in his bed / cage and just sleeps when we are out - although we tend to give him a walk in advance of going out so he is good and tired. He doesn't get upset or bark when we are out from what we can tell.

 

He is a terrier though so very stubborn. He would only come back if you called him if you had a treat for him. So getting his call back is a big priority as I can't let him off the lead unless it is a completely fenced off area or area nowhere near roads. 

 

We got him from a kennel club breeder in the borders. 

 

He is starting to look like a real Westie now rather than a pup but I think still has a wee bit of growing to do.

 

 

[queensferryjambo]

7 hours ago, Vlad Magic said:

 

This is her.

 

 

Lovely picture mate  

[Vlad Magic]

1 minute ago, queensferryjambo said:

 

 

Lovely picture mate  

 

Thanks. She’s an absolute star of a dog. Except when she steals shoes and leaves them in the garden. And underwear. She has a thing for nicking pants. Oh and socks as well. 

 

Come to think of it im amazed both me and Mrs V M ever have anything to wear!