iantjambo Posted June 7, 2019 Share Posted June 7, 2019 (edited) Ever had one of those moments when you thought something was a good idea but it turned out to be a total brain fart? A few years ago, I was getting ready for work and couldn't find a pair of socks. So I grabbed a wet pair out the washing machine and chucked them in the microwave for a couple of minutes to dry them. It didn't end well. Smoke alarm done its nut in and almost the entire house was filled with a choking black smoke. Needless to say, my parents were none too pleased any more? Edited June 7, 2019 by iantjambo Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lovecraft Posted June 8, 2019 Share Posted June 8, 2019 14 hours ago, iantjambo said: Ever had one of those moments when you thought something was a good idea but it turned out to be a total brain fart? A few years ago, I was getting ready for work and couldn't find a pair of socks. So I grabbed a wet pair out the washing machine and chucked them in the microwave for a couple of minutes to dry them. It didn't end well. Smoke alarm done its nut in and almost the entire house was filled with a choking black smoke. Needless to say, my parents were none too pleased any more? I done practically the same, but it was just to warm the socks as the house was cold. And yes, the fire alarm went off too. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
maroondevo52 Posted June 10, 2019 Share Posted June 10, 2019 Years ago my elder brother got a plastic record free in a comic, I sat on it and bent it in two, knowing he would smash me I ironed it to get the crease out !!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Brick Tamland Posted June 10, 2019 Share Posted June 10, 2019 I had 5mins notice of a surprise visit from a bursd and needed a very quick shower as I’d been playing fives. To save time brushed my teeth in the shower and thought I’d give the wee man a freshen up with the toothpaste as well.... don't try this at home ? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Victorian Posted June 10, 2019 Share Posted June 10, 2019 (edited) I used to have a liking for shinning up street lights and flag poles after drinking some beer and stuff. Tall ones. I could get back down but you get totally clarty. Edited June 10, 2019 by Victorian Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
luckyBatistuta Posted June 10, 2019 Share Posted June 10, 2019 Having just passed my test, I took the mates out for a cruise in my dads car (everyone chip in) Someone decided it was a good idea to drive past the prostitutes at the bottom of Leith and give them some verbals. We drove past with everyone shouting obscenities out the windows thinking it was hilarious, only for us to get pulled over by an unmarked police car. They told us to beat it and that they didn’t want to ever see us there again and if they did, they would be paying a visit to my parents house. I was still shitting it for weeks later that my mum or dad were going to find out that their car had been down there...my old man might have had some explaining to do to my mother??? When I was about 13 years old and sitting watching tv in my living room (my parents had popped out) I decided I would start farting around with my dads lighter. I went in to the back garden and started lighting little bits of this big conifer. All of a sudden, this ###### went up big time (absolutely shit myself) All my neighbours came out as the flames were past the windows of the house above and it was only a couple of feet from the building. The fire brigade was called and when my mum and dad returned, they asked me what had happened. I told them I was just sitting watching tv and it just burst in to flames. They said someone must have crept up the side of the house mucking about. I don’t have the foggiest how they believed me, but they really did. I admitted to doing this about 7 or 8 years ago at a party (30 years later) should have seen their faces, gobsmacked? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dagger Is Back Posted June 10, 2019 Share Posted June 10, 2019 Football club night out at the Fiddlers Arms in the Grassmarket many moons ago. A bit of a barney so we left just as the police arrived. They were a bit pre occupied so I decided it would be a good idea to unscrew the flashing light of their car. Not the brightest thing I’ve ever done Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ri Alban Posted June 11, 2019 Share Posted June 11, 2019 On 07/06/2019 at 20:00, iantjambo said: Ever had one of those moments when you thought something was a good idea but it turned out to be a total brain fart? A few years ago, I was getting ready for work and couldn't find a pair of socks. So I grabbed a wet pair out the washing machine and chucked them in the microwave for a couple of minutes to dry them. It didn't end well. Smoke alarm done its nut in and almost the entire house was filled with a choking black smoke. Needless to say, my parents were none too pleased any more? Wtf!?! A pishy wee story like that, so you can try to get some made up stories from the cast of JKB. I cut my feet off, once!. To see if I could drive with them. Oh the hilarity! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
iantjambo Posted June 11, 2019 Author Share Posted June 11, 2019 6 minutes ago, ri Alban said: Wtf!?! A pishy wee story like that, so you can try to get some made up stories from the cast of JKB. I cut my feet off, once!. To see if I could drive with them. Oh the hilarity! Oh look...ri Alban is trying to piss on a thread cos he doesn’t like the content. That doesn’t happen very often ? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ri Alban Posted June 11, 2019 Share Posted June 11, 2019 1 minute ago, iantjambo said: Oh look...ri Alban is trying to piss on a thread cos he doesn’t like the content. That doesn’t happen very often ? C'mon Ian, gie's a real ' I thought it was a good idea at the time' story, then. I put soaks in the microwave, big deal!. I'll go first, I watched May contain nuts. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
iantjambo Posted June 11, 2019 Author Share Posted June 11, 2019 1 minute ago, ri Alban said: C'mon Ian, gie's a real ' I thought it was a good idea at the time' story, then. I put soaks in the microwave, big deal!. I'll go first, I watched May contain nuts. The point of the story was the result of putting them in the microwave to dry them quickly. I thought it was a good idea at the time but the end result proved it was anything but. I wasn’t going for a “hilarity” thread. Just a wee light hearted thread for people to share stories of daft things they’ve done. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Gorgie Posted June 11, 2019 Share Posted June 11, 2019 Years ago our oven was on the blink and you had to give it a thump for it to work. But it didn't work one time for me so i kicked it and put the foot through the glass. Ended up getting a new one after that so wasn't all bad. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
¼½¾ Posted June 11, 2019 Share Posted June 11, 2019 As a teenager, I dropped something into my parents electric fire. I used one of my mum's metal knitting needles to fish it out. Blew all the fuses in the house and the knitting needle was welded to the fire. Queue one of the hidings of my life. I once went to wire up an electric cooker and turned the wrong fuse off. Bang. Thrown across the kitchen, but otherwise unhurt. Strangely, I'm a lot more careful around electricity now. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
King prawn Posted June 11, 2019 Share Posted June 11, 2019 As a teenager a friend of mine and I found a long piece of rope and decided to tie an end each round one of our ankles .. we met in the middle of a green and thought whoever was strongest would pull the other one with them. 3 2 1 go.. both ran in opposite directions and when the rope became taut we both face planted the floor - bit the inside of my mouth badly Shouldve paid more attention in physics Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Салатные палочки Posted June 11, 2019 Share Posted June 11, 2019 Broke the hoover when I was younger by hoovering up a sock that was lying on my floor to see what would happen. Thing just about took off, as did my arse when my mum found out. Hungover years ago when I still stayed at home, had the house to myself on the Sunday afternoon so decided to make the mother of all munch's. All the fry up stuff that was left, chips, onion rings, garlic bread, fish fingers all sorts. Made a pot of tea to go with it. All was well until I decided to lie down on the couch afterwards and watch the football. I fell asleep and woke up with the house filled with smoke and the most horrible smell ever. Turned out I left the hob on with the teapot on top and it had burned the arse out it. I ran about opening all the windows but it was too late as my parents returned. My mum flipped, thinking I had been smoking hash in the house and my old man never spoke to me for about two months as I had burnt his teapot haha. I think it was about that time I decided to look for my own house. Last year during the really warm weather and after a really dry spell, it started raining one day. I decided to go out on the scooter. Worst decision ever. I decided to stop and pull in somewhere to transfer the stuff from my pocket to under the seat. As I pulled round the corner the arse of the bike came away and I hit the deck quite badly and was quite badly concussed, although I didn't know it at the time. However, I knew I had to get home one way or another and I got back on the bike and started riding home. about ten mins later I was in another world. Everything was pink and green and I was thinking I was back home but by the time I came round the bike was sliding down the road and I was lying right in the middle of it with oncoming traffic in both directions. A guy had stopped in a van who turned out to be a biker and he helped me and put the scooter in the back of the van and drove me home. He said he was coming out at the junction and had seen me come off it and said I was lucky I wasn't hit by a car. Shook me up big time and I ended up selling the thing and going for my driving licence. The good thing about that episode is, aside from doing my shoulder in and having concussion and quite badly cut knees and hands is that I got painkillers for my shoulder and advised to stay off work for 48 hours due to the concussion and the World Cup was just starting, so I managed to watch the first two days of the World Cup curled up in a wee fuzzy ball on the couch. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
William H. Bonney Posted June 11, 2019 Share Posted June 11, 2019 Got married and had children. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
iantjambo Posted June 11, 2019 Author Share Posted June 11, 2019 1 hour ago, Salad Fingers said: Broke the hoover when I was younger by hoovering up a sock that was lying on my floor to see what would happen. Thing just about took off, as did my arse when my mum found out. Hungover years ago when I still stayed at home, had the house to myself on the Sunday afternoon so decided to make the mother of all munch's. All the fry up stuff that was left, chips, onion rings, garlic bread, fish fingers all sorts. Made a pot of tea to go with it. All was well until I decided to lie down on the couch afterwards and watch the football. I fell asleep and woke up with the house filled with smoke and the most horrible smell ever. Turned out I left the hob on with the teapot on top and it had burned the arse out it. I ran about opening all the windows but it was too late as my parents returned. My mum flipped, thinking I had been smoking hash in the house and my old man never spoke to me for about two months as I had burnt his teapot haha. I think it was about that time I decided to look for my own house. Last year during the really warm weather and after a really dry spell, it started raining one day. I decided to go out on the scooter. Worst decision ever. I decided to stop and pull in somewhere to transfer the stuff from my pocket to under the seat. As I pulled round the corner the arse of the bike came away and I hit the deck quite badly and was quite badly concussed, although I didn't know it at the time. However, I knew I had to get home one way or another and I got back on the bike and started riding home. about ten mins later I was in another world. Everything was pink and green and I was thinking I was back home but by the time I came round the bike was sliding down the road and I was lying right in the middle of it with oncoming traffic in both directions. A guy had stopped in a van who turned out to be a biker and he helped me and put the scooter in the back of the van and drove me home. He said he was coming out at the junction and had seen me come off it and said I was lucky I wasn't hit by a car. Shook me up big time and I ended up selling the thing and going for my driving licence. The good thing about that episode is, aside from doing my shoulder in and having concussion and quite badly cut knees and hands is that I got painkillers for my shoulder and advised to stay off work for 48 hours due to the concussion and the World Cup was just starting, so I managed to watch the first two days of the World Cup curled up in a wee fuzzy ball on the couch. Hoovered up a sock? Sure ?? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Vlad Magic Posted June 11, 2019 Share Posted June 11, 2019 Think I’ve told this story before? Mate and I smuggled a load of fireworks back from the states in our golf bags. We were kids and had no idea the seriousness of what we did. Anyway that’s not the subject of the reply to OP even though it was incredibly stupid. some of the fireworks were Chinese banger style where you lit one fuse and maybe 50 or so small bangs went off one after another. We worked out if you dismantled the whole thing you could make 50 or so small individual bangs rather than them all going off in a oner. Again very stupid as the fuse was way to short resulting in my friend blowing a hole in his finger. Again this is not the most stupid part of the story. I hold that particular award. I decided to make a home made cannon using a plastic tube with an air gun pellet rammed up the tube with one of these individual bangers as the boom to fire the pellet. Held it half way down and lit the fuse. It ended badly as the banger exploded along with the plastic tube. Large shards of plastic embedded themselves in my hand and fingers. Blood everywhere!! Was such a good idea at the time.... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tazio Posted June 11, 2019 Share Posted June 11, 2019 7 minutes ago, Vlad Magic said: I decided to make a home made cannon using a plastic tube with an air gun pellet rammed up the tube with one of these individual bangers as the boom to fire the pellet. On the subject of weaponry... As was the trend back in the day I had one of those super powerful black widow style hunting catapults from Wonderland models that were meant for firing ballbearings. Being a bit adventurous I reckoned that if you could fire those and cause huge damage it was only a step away from being a compact bow and arrow. So I tried firing a bicycle wheel spoke with it, needless to say it didn't work and just fired straight into the top of my left hand and just about went all the way through. I've still got a perfectly round dimple of a scar where it went in. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Maple Leaf Posted June 11, 2019 Share Posted June 11, 2019 Many years ago I was about 8 years old and living on Royston Mains Avenue. My parents were going out for the evening and left me with the usual list of instructions ... don't open the door to anyone, don't play with matches, don't touch the fire, and don't let Charlie the canary out of the cage. Needless to say, as soon as they were gone, I let the Charlie out of the cage. The canary had a grand time flying around the living room. Then it came time to put Charlie back into the cage, but Charlie didn't want to go back! For several minutes I made futile attempts to catch the bird as it whirred around the room. I got a brainwave about throwing a towel over it to bring it down. It worked and the towel, with the bird under it, landed on the floor near the fireplace. But the bird was flapping around under the towel, and I knew that as soon as I lifted the towel it would take off again. So I decided to stun it, like I'd seen happen to people in the movies. I picked up the hammer that my dad used to break up lumps of coal and "stunned" the bird with it. I was eight years old, remember; that's my excuse. I put the corpse back into the cage and went to bed. Next day my parents sadly announced that Charlie had died. I never told them what happened. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Morgan Posted June 11, 2019 Share Posted June 11, 2019 9 hours ago, ri Alban said: Wtf!?! A pishy wee story like that, so you can try to get some made up stories from the cast of JKB. I cut my feet off, once!. To see if I could drive with them. Oh the hilarity! Good mood? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ray Gin Posted June 11, 2019 Share Posted June 11, 2019 43 minutes ago, Maple Leaf said: Many years ago I was about 8 years old and living on Royston Mains Avenue. My parents were going out for the evening and left me with the usual list of instructions ... don't open the door to anyone, don't play with matches, don't touch the fire, and don't let Charlie the canary out of the cage. Needless to say, as soon as they were gone, I let the Charlie out of the cage. The canary had a grand time flying around the living room. Then it came time to put Charlie back into the cage, but Charlie didn't want to go back! For several minutes I made futile attempts to catch the bird as it whirred around the room. I got a brainwave about throwing a towel over it to bring it down. It worked and the towel, with the bird under it, landed on the floor near the fireplace. But the bird was flapping around under the towel, and I knew that as soon as I lifted the towel it would take off again. So I decided to stun it, like I'd seen happen to people in the movies. I picked up the hammer that my dad used to break up lumps of coal and "stunned" the bird with it. I was eight years old, remember; that's my excuse. I put the corpse back into the cage and went to bed. Next day my parents sadly announced that Charlie had died. I never told them what happened. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Morgan Posted June 11, 2019 Share Posted June 11, 2019 59 minutes ago, Maple Leaf said: Many years ago I was about 8 years old and living on Royston Mains Avenue. My parents were going out for the evening and left me with the usual list of instructions ... don't open the door to anyone, don't play with matches, don't touch the fire, and don't let Charlie the canary out of the cage. Needless to say, as soon as they were gone, I let the Charlie out of the cage. The canary had a grand time flying around the living room. Then it came time to put Charlie back into the cage, but Charlie didn't want to go back! For several minutes I made futile attempts to catch the bird as it whirred around the room. I got a brainwave about throwing a towel over it to bring it down. It worked and the towel, with the bird under it, landed on the floor near the fireplace. But the bird was flapping around under the towel, and I knew that as soon as I lifted the towel it would take off again. So I decided to stun it, like I'd seen happen to people in the movies. I picked up the hammer that my dad used to break up lumps of coal and "stunned" the bird with it. I was eight years old, remember; that's my excuse. I put the corpse back into the cage and went to bed. Next day my parents sadly announced that Charlie had died. I never told them what happened. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Placid Casual Posted June 11, 2019 Share Posted June 11, 2019 1 hour ago, Maple Leaf said: Needless to say, as soon as they were gone, I let the Charlie out of the cage. The canary had a grand time flying around the living room. Then it came time to put Charlie back into the cage, but Charlie didn't want to go back! For several minutes I made futile attempts to catch the bird as it whirred around the room. I got a brainwave about throwing a towel over it to bring it down. It worked and the towel, with the bird under it, landed on the floor near the fireplace. But the bird was flapping around under the towel, and I knew that as soon as I lifted the towel it would take off again. So I decided to stun it, like I'd seen happen to people in the movies. I picked up the hammer that my dad used to break up lumps of coal and "stunned" the bird with it. I was eight years old, remember; that's my excuse. I put the corpse back into the cage and went to bed. Next day my parents sadly announced that Charlie had died. I never told them what happened. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
iantjambo Posted June 11, 2019 Author Share Posted June 11, 2019 1 hour ago, Maple Leaf said: Many years ago I was about 8 years old and living on Royston Mains Avenue. My parents were going out for the evening and left me with the usual list of instructions ... don't open the door to anyone, don't play with matches, don't touch the fire, and don't let Charlie the canary out of the cage. Needless to say, as soon as they were gone, I let the Charlie out of the cage. The canary had a grand time flying around the living room. Then it came time to put Charlie back into the cage, but Charlie didn't want to go back! For several minutes I made futile attempts to catch the bird as it whirred around the room. I got a brainwave about throwing a towel over it to bring it down. It worked and the towel, with the bird under it, landed on the floor near the fireplace. But the bird was flapping around under the towel, and I knew that as soon as I lifted the towel it would take off again. So I decided to stun it, like I'd seen happen to people in the movies. I picked up the hammer that my dad used to break up lumps of coal and "stunned" the bird with it. I was eight years old, remember; that's my excuse. I put the corpse back into the cage and went to bed. Next day my parents sadly announced that Charlie had died. I never told them what happened. Sociopath behaviour Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Forza Cuore Posted June 11, 2019 Share Posted June 11, 2019 5 hours ago, Dino Velvet said: Got married and had children. Winner...me too Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LeftBack Posted June 11, 2019 Share Posted June 11, 2019 Decided to clean my razor of stubble by running thumb across blades.... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dagger Is Back Posted June 11, 2019 Share Posted June 11, 2019 7 hours ago, Maple Leaf said: Many years ago I was about 8 years old and living on Royston Mains Avenue. My parents were going out for the evening and left me with the usual list of instructions ... don't open the door to anyone, don't play with matches, don't touch the fire, and don't let Charlie the canary out of the cage. Needless to say, as soon as they were gone, I let the Charlie out of the cage. The canary had a grand time flying around the living room. Then it came time to put Charlie back into the cage, but Charlie didn't want to go back! For several minutes I made futile attempts to catch the bird as it whirred around the room. I got a brainwave about throwing a towel over it to bring it down. It worked and the towel, with the bird under it, landed on the floor near the fireplace. But the bird was flapping around under the towel, and I knew that as soon as I lifted the towel it would take off again. So I decided to stun it, like I'd seen happen to people in the movies. I picked up the hammer that my dad used to break up lumps of coal and "stunned" the bird with it. I was eight years old, remember; that's my excuse. I put the corpse back into the cage and went to bed. Next day my parents sadly announced that Charlie had died. I never told them what happened. Sitting here with tears rolling down my face! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
¼½¾ Posted June 11, 2019 Share Posted June 11, 2019 7 hours ago, Maple Leaf said: Many years ago I was about 8 years old and living on Royston Mains Avenue. My parents were going out for the evening and left me with the usual list of instructions ... don't open the door to anyone, don't play with matches, don't touch the fire, and don't let Charlie the canary out of the cage. Needless to say, as soon as they were gone, I let the Charlie out of the cage. The canary had a grand time flying around the living room. Then it came time to put Charlie back into the cage, but Charlie didn't want to go back! For several minutes I made futile attempts to catch the bird as it whirred around the room. I got a brainwave about throwing a towel over it to bring it down. It worked and the towel, with the bird under it, landed on the floor near the fireplace. But the bird was flapping around under the towel, and I knew that as soon as I lifted the towel it would take off again. So I decided to stun it, like I'd seen happen to people in the movies. I picked up the hammer that my dad used to break up lumps of coal and "stunned" the bird with it. I was eight years old, remember; that's my excuse. I put the corpse back into the cage and went to bed. Next day my parents sadly announced that Charlie had died. I never told them what happened. Are you sure it wasn't just resting? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Debut 4 Posted June 11, 2019 Share Posted June 11, 2019 7 hours ago, Maple Leaf said: Many years ago I was about 8 years old and living on Royston Mains Avenue. My parents were going out for the evening and left me with the usual list of instructions ... don't open the door to anyone, don't play with matches, don't touch the fire, and don't let Charlie the canary out of the cage. Needless to say, as soon as they were gone, I let the Charlie out of the cage. The canary had a grand time flying around the living room. Then it came time to put Charlie back into the cage, but Charlie didn't want to go back! For several minutes I made futile attempts to catch the bird as it whirred around the room. I got a brainwave about throwing a towel over it to bring it down. It worked and the towel, with the bird under it, landed on the floor near the fireplace. But the bird was flapping around under the towel, and I knew that as soon as I lifted the towel it would take off again. So I decided to stun it, like I'd seen happen to people in the movies. I picked up the hammer that my dad used to break up lumps of coal and "stunned" the bird with it. I was eight years old, remember; that's my excuse. I put the corpse back into the cage and went to bed. Next day my parents sadly announced that Charlie had died. I never told them what happened. Can just picture the scene with the bird’s outline bobbing up and down under the towel, then suddenly after a “wee tap” with the hammer , coming to a complete standstill, lifeless underneath. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
William H. Bonney Posted June 11, 2019 Share Posted June 11, 2019 I take it Canada don’t extradite bird killers then? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Maple Leaf Posted June 11, 2019 Share Posted June 11, 2019 2 minutes ago, Dino Velvet said: I take it Canada don’t extradite bird killers then? I never thought about that. Just to be on the safe side, I hope everything I've said will be treated in strict confidence. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
William H. Bonney Posted June 11, 2019 Share Posted June 11, 2019 6 minutes ago, Maple Leaf said: I never thought about that. Just to be on the safe side, I hope everything I've said will be treated in strict confidence. Best keep a low profile. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
All roads lead to Gorgie Posted June 11, 2019 Share Posted June 11, 2019 Many years ago I was bagging a couple of Munros near Crianlarich. I was new to the game and went for the over cautious approach and filled the rucksack with way too much clothing. The day turned into a scorcher and I was struggling with the weight on my back. I decided to leave some clothes behind a rock and hoped to pick them up again on the way down. The problem was the hillside was covered in rocks that all looked like the one I had left the clothes behind. Never found the right rock and lost a few quids worth of kit that day. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
All roads lead to Gorgie Posted June 11, 2019 Share Posted June 11, 2019 6 minutes ago, Dino Velvet said: Best keep a low profile. Like the canary under the towel. ? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Taffin Posted June 11, 2019 Share Posted June 11, 2019 1 hour ago, LeftBack said: Decided to clean my razor of stubble by running thumb across blades.... I've done that. Just the thought of it makes me squirm Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bn jambo Posted June 12, 2019 Share Posted June 12, 2019 17 hours ago, Maple Leaf said: Many years ago I was about 8 years old and living on Royston Mains Avenue. My parents were going out for the evening and left me with the usual list of instructions ... don't open the door to anyone, don't play with matches, don't touch the fire, and don't let Charlie the canary out of the cage. Needless to say, as soon as they were gone, I let the Charlie out of the cage. The canary had a grand time flying around the living room. Then it came time to put Charlie back into the cage, but Charlie didn't want to go back! For several minutes I made futile attempts to catch the bird as it whirred around the room. I got a brainwave about throwing a towel over it to bring it down. It worked and the towel, with the bird under it, landed on the floor near the fireplace. But the bird was flapping around under the towel, and I knew that as soon as I lifted the towel it would take off again. So I decided to stun it, like I'd seen happen to people in the movies. I picked up the hammer that my dad used to break up lumps of coal and "stunned" the bird with it. I was eight years old, remember; that's my excuse. I put the corpse back into the cage and went to bed. Next day my parents sadly announced that Charlie had died. I never told them what happened. Should this not be on the shan thread? ? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
milky_26 Posted June 12, 2019 Share Posted June 12, 2019 3 hours ago, bn jambo said: Should this not be on the shan thread? ? Yep almost as bad as those who bunny hopped their bikes over smokey Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jamboy1982 Posted June 12, 2019 Share Posted June 12, 2019 Just as the kettle was coming to the boil I put my hand on top to stop the steam coming out. Had a perfect triangle mark for months on the palm of my hand Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Morgan Posted June 12, 2019 Share Posted June 12, 2019 15 hours ago, Maple Leaf said: I never thought about that. Just to be on the safe side, I hope everything I've said will be treated in strict confidence. Too late, I’m afraid. I told my sister-in-law, and apart from being built like the Maybury roundabout she’s got a mouth the size of the Mersey Tunnel. Sorry. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Morgan Posted June 12, 2019 Share Posted June 12, 2019 15 hours ago, LeftBack said: Decided to clean my razor of stubble by running thumb across blades.... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tokyowalnut Posted June 12, 2019 Share Posted June 12, 2019 I once asked a police officer outside of Revolution if I could get a photo with his hat on. Obviously he said no, but being fueled by Blue Wkd and sambuca i quickly snatched it off his head, placed it on mine and bolted towards the West End. If that wasn't stupid enough, I stopped, turned around and ran back to return it to him. Arrested for theft. 16 years ago and still makes me cringe. I should've carried on running, he was never catching me!! Also, I walked over a glass skylight when up on a roof collecting a football. Had no reason to stand on the sky light, could easily have walked round it. Stood on it, and like in the cartoons, the glass gave way and I seemed to hover for a couple of seconds before crashing through and into a toilet block. Tap up the arse, legs shredded by glass and ligaments all ruined around 1 ankle. Had to break my way out of the building, crawl to find my mate who just stood over me and laughed. That was over 20 years ago, still have a cracking scar on my leg from it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
superjack Posted June 12, 2019 Share Posted June 12, 2019 I crowd of us went go karting in livi a good few years ago and on the way there, we all got absolutely wasted in the back of my mates transit. Due to this I decided to take my old jacket off. When I was getting out the kart I placed my left elbow on what I thought was a handy arm rest, realised a few seconds too late that it was the exhaust manifold. 3 mo this later you could still make out a serial number just below my elbow. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jamhammer Posted June 12, 2019 Share Posted June 12, 2019 When I was in my teens I went to an after school drama club and there was a really tidy girl there. I was much too shy to talk to her but I heard she liked Dylan Thomas so I started walking round with a Dylan Thomas book in me pocket and reading it in front of her. If I'd actually read the foreword I'd have been aware he died in 1953 and, when she asked me if I liked him I wouldn't have told her I'd met him. I still cringe when I think about it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
IronJambo Posted June 13, 2019 Share Posted June 13, 2019 I might've been around 7 years old and we had an Acorn Electron at home. The tape recorder that loaded up the games was powered separately and rather than look at the power light on it I used to pull the cable out the back of it and stick it on my tongue to check if it was plugged in or not. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Zico Posted June 13, 2019 Share Posted June 13, 2019 17 hours ago, Jamhammer said: When I was in my teens I went to an after school drama club and there was a really tidy girl there. I was much too shy to talk to her but I heard she liked Dylan Thomas so I started walking round with a Dylan Thomas book in me pocket and reading it in front of her. If I'd actually read the foreword I'd have been aware he died in 1953 and, when she asked me if I liked him I wouldn't have told her I'd met him. I still cringe when I think about it. that even tops bird killing and home made explosives! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Morgan Posted June 13, 2019 Share Posted June 13, 2019 5 hours ago, IronJambo said: I might've been around 7 years old and we had an Acorn Electron at home. The tape recorder that loaded up the games was powered separately and rather than look at the power light on it I used to pull the cable out the back of it and stick it on my tongue to check if it was plugged in or not. Try this with your mum-in-law and the plug for the fridge freezer. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Morgan Posted June 13, 2019 Share Posted June 13, 2019 17 hours ago, Jamhammer said: When I was in my teens I went to an after school drama club and there was a really tidy girl there. I was much too shy to talk to her but I heard she liked Dylan Thomas so I started walking round with a Dylan Thomas book in me pocket and reading it in front of her. If I'd actually read the foreword I'd have been aware he died in 1953 and, when she asked me if I liked him I wouldn't have told her I'd met him. I still cringe when I think about it. Did you.ever get to go out with her though? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jamhammer Posted June 13, 2019 Share Posted June 13, 2019 5 minutes ago, Morgan said: Did you.ever get to go out with her though? Sadly not. I’m guessing she, correctly assumed I was a cretin Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Harry Potter Posted June 13, 2019 Share Posted June 13, 2019 Oscars disco about 1982, dancing with my girlfriends sister told her i liked her. ended up getting thrown out, why did i ever say it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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