superjack Posted April 9, 2019 Share Posted April 9, 2019 Read this story today and, as bad as it is, I couldn't stop laughing. If that makes me a bad man then I'm sorry. https://www.hulldailymail.co.uk/news/hull-east-yorkshire-news/man-who-keeps-performing-sex-2737544 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
John Findlay Posted April 9, 2019 Share Posted April 9, 2019 Never let him attend a race meeting ???? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
been here before Posted April 9, 2019 Share Posted April 9, 2019 (edited) Ach we've all done it... Edited April 9, 2019 by been here before Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
superjack Posted April 9, 2019 Author Share Posted April 9, 2019 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Morgan Posted April 9, 2019 Share Posted April 9, 2019 The horse whisperer. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dunks Posted April 9, 2019 Share Posted April 9, 2019 Reminds me of this old boy - he got a bit more hands on https://www.scotsman.com/news/pensioner-sexually-obsessed-with-horses-1-1113136 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
luckyBatistuta Posted April 9, 2019 Share Posted April 9, 2019 (edited) That reminded me about a story, probably about 10 years ago, maybe more. Pretty sure there was a guy caught in the act having sex with a horse in Tranent, anybody remember that? Edited April 9, 2019 by luckyBatistuta Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ray Gin Posted April 9, 2019 Share Posted April 9, 2019 I wonder if this all started with a big misunderstanding. "I'm feeling really horny but I can't find a girlfriend, the frustration is killing me" "Just pay some whores a visit, mate" "Some horse you say?" "Yeah mate some whores" "I really don't know if I could...unless....would the horse maybe just let me just knock one out rather than going for penetration?" "Yeah they'll be up for almost anything, mate" "Thanks for the advice!" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
¼½¾ Posted April 9, 2019 Share Posted April 9, 2019 18 minutes ago, luckyBatistuta said: That reminded me about a story, probably about 10 years ago, maybe more. Pretty sure there was a guy caught in the act having sex with a horse in Tranent, anybody remember that? Was it a stable relationship? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
luckyBatistuta Posted April 9, 2019 Share Posted April 9, 2019 (edited) 4 minutes ago, Lemongrab said: Was it a stable relationship? Oh ffs or should that be Edited April 9, 2019 by luckyBatistuta Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
superjack Posted April 10, 2019 Author Share Posted April 10, 2019 I'm sure I remember a story of a guy getting caught pumping a horse in gala. He worked somewhere that gave him a pager. 1 afternoon, the horse owners arrived in the stables and the guy was in action. As he pulled his trousers up and ran away, he dropped his pager, which led to him getting caught. This would have been sometime in the 80s, can any other gala based posters remember this story? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Craig_ Posted April 10, 2019 Share Posted April 10, 2019 Good god, could he not just stay in and watch Countryfile? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
davemclaren Posted April 10, 2019 Share Posted April 10, 2019 33 minutes ago, Craig_ said: Good god, could he not just stay in and watch Countryfile? He is a countryphile. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
argyjambo Posted April 10, 2019 Share Posted April 10, 2019 11 hours ago, Morgan said: The horse whisperer. Less of a horse whisperer, more of a horse w@nkerer. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
theshed Posted April 10, 2019 Share Posted April 10, 2019 (edited) 11 hours ago, luckyBatistuta said: That reminded me about a story, probably about 10 years ago, maybe more. Pretty sure there was a guy caught in the act having sex with a horse in Tranent, anybody remember that? I remember that and it was probably more like over 20 years ago believe it or not Would be early 90s as I worked up in Tranent at the time There again it’s probably happened again since there with it being Tranent Edited April 10, 2019 by theshed Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
¼½¾ Posted April 10, 2019 Share Posted April 10, 2019 10 hours ago, luckyBatistuta said: Oh ffs or should that be I better not ask if it was bareback. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tazio Posted April 10, 2019 Share Posted April 10, 2019 Just to think of the practicalities for a minute surely you'd need a ladder to pump a horse? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Craig_ Posted April 10, 2019 Share Posted April 10, 2019 6 minutes ago, Tazio said: Just to think of the practicalities for a minute surely you'd need a ladder to pump a horse? That's why the Shetland Pony was invented! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Der Kaiser Posted April 10, 2019 Share Posted April 10, 2019 12 minutes ago, Tazio said: Just to think of the practicalities for a minute surely you'd need a ladder to pump a horse? Actually if you get the horse to sit but keep it's front two legs quite straight it's possible. Sure the tail is annoying but.........eh.......well it's what google says OK..... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Doc Posted April 10, 2019 Share Posted April 10, 2019 3 hours ago, superjack said: I'm sure I remember a story of a guy getting caught pumping a horse in gala. He worked somewhere that gave him a pager. 1 afternoon, the horse owners arrived in the stables and the guy was in action. As he pulled his trousers up and ran away, he dropped his pager, which led to him getting caught. This would have been sometime in the 80s, can any other gala based posters remember this story? You’ve spelt rager wrong m8. ? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
¼½¾ Posted April 10, 2019 Share Posted April 10, 2019 39 minutes ago, Tazio said: Just to think of the practicalities for a minute surely you'd need a ladder to pump a horse? You could always stand on a bale of Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TheBigO Posted April 10, 2019 Share Posted April 10, 2019 1 hour ago, theshed said: I remember that and it was probably more like over 20 years ago believe it or not Would be early 90s as I worked up in Tranent at the time There again it’s probably happened again since there with it being Tranent All of this post is true. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
luckyBatistuta Posted April 10, 2019 Share Posted April 10, 2019 1 hour ago, Lemongrab said: I better not ask if it was bareback. I ain’t picking you up, ya deviant ? 1 hour ago, Tazio said: Just to think of the practicalities for a minute surely you'd need a ladder to pump a horse? Never put that much much thought in to it ? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Morgan Posted April 10, 2019 Share Posted April 10, 2019 2 hours ago, Craig_ said: That's why the Shetland Pony was invented! Your avatar has you down as a bit of an expert here, Craig. ? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paolo Posted April 10, 2019 Share Posted April 10, 2019 13 hours ago, luckyBatistuta said: Oh ffs or should that be Definitely. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paolo Posted April 10, 2019 Share Posted April 10, 2019 4 hours ago, davemclaren said: He is a countryphile. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Morgan Posted April 10, 2019 Share Posted April 10, 2019 2 hours ago, Lemongrab said: You could always stand on a bale of Take it we’re to get saddled with your puns for a while yet? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Craig_ Posted April 10, 2019 Share Posted April 10, 2019 21 minutes ago, Morgan said: Your avatar has you down as a bit of an expert here, Craig. ? ? Does look a bit like a candidate for Viz' "Up The Arse Corner", now you come to mention it... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
¼½¾ Posted April 10, 2019 Share Posted April 10, 2019 23 minutes ago, Morgan said: Take it we’re to get saddled with your puns for a while yet? There may be a few mare. ? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
luckyBatistuta Posted April 10, 2019 Share Posted April 10, 2019 49 minutes ago, Paolo said: Definitely. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Radio Ga Ga Posted April 10, 2019 Share Posted April 10, 2019 6 hours ago, superjack said: I'm sure I remember a story of a guy getting caught pumping a horse in gala. He worked somewhere that gave him a pager. 1 afternoon, the horse owners arrived in the stables and the guy was in action. As he pulled his trousers up and ran away, he dropped his pager, which led to him getting caught. This would have been sometime in the 80s, can any other gala based posters remember this story? There was a Scottish Power meter reader ( then the SSEB) who got caught having it off with an animal (can’t recall the breed) down in the borders. He was stood on a box giving it the heave ho from the rear. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
superjack Posted April 10, 2019 Author Share Posted April 10, 2019 1 minute ago, Radio Ga Ga said: There was a Scottish Power meter reader ( then the SSEB) who got caught having it off with an animal (can’t recall the breed) down in the borders. He was stood on a box giving it the heave ho from the rear. That's the one. Pretty sure it was at a horses stable in Langlee. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Morgan Posted April 10, 2019 Share Posted April 10, 2019 34 minutes ago, Lemongrab said: There may be a few mare. ? Try and rein them in a wee bit, will you? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Armageddon Posted April 10, 2019 Share Posted April 10, 2019 5 hours ago, davemclaren said: He is a countryphile. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
the general Posted April 10, 2019 Share Posted April 10, 2019 Did he get his oats? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
davemclaren Posted April 10, 2019 Share Posted April 10, 2019 9 minutes ago, the general said: Did he get his oats? Was his name Doris? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Auld Reekin' Posted April 10, 2019 Share Posted April 10, 2019 4 hours ago, Craig_ said: That's why the Shetland Pony was invented! As Irvine Welsh might well put it he wiz probly jist feelin a little hoarse Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
milky_26 Posted April 10, 2019 Share Posted April 10, 2019 Maybe the guy is a stud Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Morgan Posted April 10, 2019 Share Posted April 10, 2019 Just now, milky_26 said: Maybe the guy is a stud Whinney matter when he's up in court. He's got neigh chance. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Say What Again Posted April 10, 2019 Share Posted April 10, 2019 5 hours ago, Tazio said: Just to think of the practicalities for a minute surely you'd need a ladder to pump a horse? Pro tip: Not if it's dead Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Morgan Posted April 10, 2019 Share Posted April 10, 2019 Just now, Say What Again said: Pro tip: Not if it's dead Thread now descending rapidly. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
¼½¾ Posted April 10, 2019 Share Posted April 10, 2019 1 hour ago, Say What Again said: Pro tip: Not if it's dead You must have a hearing impairment. It's FLOGGING a dead horse. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Debut 4 Posted April 10, 2019 Share Posted April 10, 2019 Apparently stalks famous horses to feed his sick pleasures but got mistaken once. When he was caught, apparently the trainer said...”nice try but no Shergar”.... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
luckyBatistuta Posted April 11, 2019 Share Posted April 11, 2019 15 hours ago, theshed said: I remember that and it was probably more like over 20 years ago believe it or not Would be early 90s as I worked up in Tranent at the time There again it’s probably happened again since there with it being Tranent Omg, can’t believe that was that long ago, feeling old now☹️ I actually felt sorry for the guy, he was having a mare at the time Tbf, he did alright for himself in the end,but obviously never got over her Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Riddley Walker Posted April 12, 2019 Share Posted April 12, 2019 (edited) Some guy got his knob and balls bitten off by his dog in Tranent last year after smothering them in peanut butter and offering them up to the hound. Not really any explaining that away, is there. Haddington, my apologies. https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-6343269/Man-penis-testicles-eaten-bulldog-room-animal.html Edited April 12, 2019 by Riddley Walker Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
milky_26 Posted April 12, 2019 Share Posted April 12, 2019 5 minutes ago, Riddley Walker said: Some guy got his knob and balls bitten off by his dog in Tranent last year after smothering them in peanut butter and offering them up to the hound. Not really any explaining that away, is there. Haddington, my apologies. https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-6343269/Man-penis-testicles-eaten-bulldog-room-animal.html iirc didn't his "friends" do that to him when he passed out? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Riddley Walker Posted April 12, 2019 Share Posted April 12, 2019 3 minutes ago, milky_26 said: iirc didn't his "friends" do that to him when he passed out? Don't remember hearing that bit. Hope I'm never at the stage in my life where I want to smother my mate's hairies in peanut foodstuffs. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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