Morgan Posted April 10, 2019 Share Posted April 10, 2019 43 minutes ago, jonnothejambo said: Did ye hear about the constipated Chancellor ? He couldn't Budget.... 42 minutes ago, jonnothejambo said: Or yer balls... 32 minutes ago, jonnothejambo said: The US shitters are strange. Ye go for a Sir John and the fecker bounces about in the oddly shaped pan like thon Bob Maxwell bloke. Let's you examine the Barry White but feck that. Then when you flush it away it fecks off like a 20 stone bloke going down a flume. Speaking of flumes I shot down one almost vertical flume in Inverness years ago to impress my wife and three kids. Nearly shat it at the top but no going back so off I went. A second later I reached the bottom, staggered out only to be told that my right hand Niagara was hanging out my Speedos. Never been on a flume since. Still married tho... Feckin carry on. Thought you’d pop up here. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Robbo-Jambo Posted April 10, 2019 Share Posted April 10, 2019 2 hours ago, jonnothejambo said: Did ye hear about the constipated Chancellor ? He couldn't Budget.... ? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Crete Posted April 10, 2019 Share Posted April 10, 2019 It takes me 2 hours to get ready shower,shave face and legs,styling my hair takes an age but it's worth it to look good.? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Harry Potter Posted April 11, 2019 Author Share Posted April 11, 2019 12 hours ago, jonnothejambo said: Did ye hear about the constipated Chancellor ? He couldn't Budget.... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Morgan Posted April 11, 2019 Share Posted April 11, 2019 13 hours ago, Crete said: It takes me 2 hours to get ready shower,shave face and legs,styling my hair takes an age but it's worth it to look good.? You ‘style’ your hair? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Harry Potter Posted April 11, 2019 Author Share Posted April 11, 2019 40 minutes ago, Morgan said: You ‘style’ your hair? Used to do that when i was 16, the old centre parting ha ha, now it gets washed, end off. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Morgan Posted April 11, 2019 Share Posted April 11, 2019 1 minute ago, Harry Potter said: Used to do that when i was 16, the old centre parting ha ha, now it gets washed, end off. Is the centre parting now about 8 inches wide though? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ray Gin Posted April 11, 2019 Share Posted April 11, 2019 58 minutes ago, Morgan said: You ‘style’ your hair? He shaves his legs and that's what you pull him up for? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cheetah Posted April 11, 2019 Share Posted April 11, 2019 6 minutes ago, Ray Gin said: He shaves his legs and that's what you pull him up for? I assumed it was a lass? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Morgan Posted April 11, 2019 Share Posted April 11, 2019 15 minutes ago, Ray Gin said: He shaves his legs and that's what you pull him up for? Christ! I never even noticed that. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ray Gin Posted April 11, 2019 Share Posted April 11, 2019 18 minutes ago, cheetah said: I assumed it was a lass? With a hairy face?! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cheetah Posted April 11, 2019 Share Posted April 11, 2019 Just now, Ray Gin said: With a hairy face?! I have been out with a few aye, Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Morgan Posted April 11, 2019 Share Posted April 11, 2019 5 minutes ago, Ray Gin said: With a hairy face?! Not uncommon. 4 minutes ago, cheetah said: I have been out with a few aye, This one of them? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Morgan Posted April 11, 2019 Share Posted April 11, 2019 3 minutes ago, jonnothejambo said: From Mayfield ? I may know her.... Miss May Field. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Harry Potter Posted April 11, 2019 Author Share Posted April 11, 2019 1 hour ago, Morgan said: Is the centre parting now about 8 inches wide though? not quite lol Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
¼½¾ Posted April 11, 2019 Share Posted April 11, 2019 30 minutes ago, Morgan said: Not uncommon. This one of them? Poor girl's had one facelift too many. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Morgan Posted April 11, 2019 Share Posted April 11, 2019 3 minutes ago, Lemongrab said: Poor girl's had one facelift too many. Took me a moment... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cheetah Posted April 11, 2019 Share Posted April 11, 2019 46 minutes ago, Morgan said: Not uncommon. This one of them? Na, too skinny Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Morgan Posted April 11, 2019 Share Posted April 11, 2019 2 minutes ago, cheetah said: Na, too skinny Good stuff, you need a bit meat on yer bearded women. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
peter_hmfc Posted April 11, 2019 Share Posted April 11, 2019 On 09/04/2019 at 11:12, Dunks said: I save my shit for work then sit there working out how much I'm being paid to actually shit. How much? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dunks Posted April 11, 2019 Share Posted April 11, 2019 2 hours ago, peter_hmfc said: How much? Depends what I've been eating. Vindaloo doesn't earn much ? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
superjack Posted April 12, 2019 Share Posted April 12, 2019 I've just realised that the Wi-Fi signal now reaches the works shitters. Only my first dump of the day will be done at home now. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
superjack Posted April 12, 2019 Share Posted April 12, 2019 2 hours ago, jonnothejambo said: Ah. A multiple shitter. My first thing in the morning poo only serves to wake up the rest of my bowel and any time between 30 mins and 3 hours later, the beast is unleashed to swim in a septic tank. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Morgan Posted April 12, 2019 Share Posted April 12, 2019 8 hours ago, jonnothejambo said: I know there is a keech thread in the classics, and that this has probably been covered, but isn't it strange how one day you can lay a cable with no collateral damage ie 1 sheet of bog roll and the next day you can drop another torpedo and use enough bog roll to account for a California redwood. One of life's little mysteries I guess. Wiping for Scotland one day, barely smearing le papier the next. Strange but true. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Morgan Posted April 12, 2019 Share Posted April 12, 2019 3 minutes ago, jonnothejambo said: I feel one brewing as I type. Pre-match nerves... Sit. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
EH11_2NL Posted April 13, 2019 Share Posted April 13, 2019 I shave in the shower anyway. And before anyone asks, no, I don't need a mirror to shave. My face has been in the same place for 49 years. Throw in a Tom Kite and 20 mins does it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Morgan Posted April 13, 2019 Share Posted April 13, 2019 1 hour ago, EH11_2NL said: I shave in the shower anyway. And before anyone asks, no, I don't need a mirror to shave. My face has been in the same place for 49 years. Throw in a Tom Kite and 20 mins does it. You do a Tom Kite in the shower? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
superjack Posted April 13, 2019 Share Posted April 13, 2019 2 hours ago, Morgan said: You do a Tom Kite in the shower? When it's a case of banana fritters it will wash away anyway. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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