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Things you value most in a partner


Alex Kintner

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Alex Kintner

What’s the three things you value most about your other half? Or alternatively if you’re single, what’s the three things you’re looking for in a future partner?*

 

For me:

1. Loving and caring nature

2. Get’s me so I can just be myself

3. Strong moral compass

 

*Attractiveness/physical attributes is a given. I’m talking more about the non-physical stuff.

 

Edited by To Be Frank
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Food

Conversation

sex

 

In no particular order, men are simple creatures and when you get right down to it, that's basically all we need.

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Food

Carry my weights for me in the gym

Porn star moves

 

 

 

Na , i adore the fact my lass is the most genuine , caring and thoughtful person. Think im pretty damn lucky with those three and value that big time.

 

 

 

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21 minutes ago, To Be Frank said:

What’s the three things you value most about your other half? Or alternatively if you’re single, what’s the three things you’re looking for in a future partner?*

 

For me:

1. Loving and caring nature

2. Get’s me so I can just be myself

3. Strong moral compass

 

*Attractiveness/physical attributes is a given. I’m talking more about the non-physical stuff.

 

 

Physical attributes? Please define

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Alex Kintner
1 hour ago, sadj said:

 

Physical attributes? Please define

 

Well it’s easy to say you want a partner with certain physical attributes (large breasts, long legs, six pack, tattoos) but I’m talking more about what’s inside.

 

Just don’t want it to turn into a purely physical discussion. For example Rachel Riley is beautiful and I’m sure most guys would love a partner who looked like that but for the purposes of this thread I’d be talking about her intelligence, sense of humour and strong moral compass. ??

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Alex Kintner
1 hour ago, lauriesrank said:

Food

Conversation

sex

 

In no particular order, men are simple creatures and when you get right down to it, that's basically all we need.

 

Those aren’t attibutes though and you could get all three from any female.

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Interesting discussion. 

 

The whole “physical attractiveness isn’t important” thing is a misnomer imo. You don’t have any control over that. You can decide that other things are more important than what you find physically attractive, and make a decision to instead go for qualities beyond what you find physically attractive, but physical attraction is usually the first thing that sparks.

 

Of course, you can be lucky enough to find someone who is not only physically attractive to you, attracted to you, and attractive and attracted to your mind and personality too. 

 

I find it funny when people try and try and deny their natural coding and pretend that physical attraction means nothing to them. As though that makes them less shallow than their fellow man. Bullshit. Some people just either choose to ignore it in the hope that it develops over time.

 

Often of course there is also a situation where a person finds others attractive, but they are not themselves attractive to the people that they are attracted to. In those situations, you will find the person often pretends that they simply hold other attributes in higher regard, when in actual fact they are usually just lying to themselves to protect their fragile ego.

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As for the three things, I think there is often a difference between what you find attractive and what you value.

 

I find dark skin and eyes attractive. Dark hair. Etc, etc. Then I also find the usual things that a straight bloke finds attractive too, bum, breasts, legs etc. To deny that stuff is just stupid. It’s programmed in to us along with the odd non-universal physical attributes that individuals may find attractive; feet, hands, neck or ears or whatever.

 

Things I value beyond the physical are; kindness/empathy, humour and intelligence.

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Supporting Hearts

 

A cop out but I really hate the fact my bird has next to interest in football in contrast to my enthusiasm for it. What I would give for her to love daytime drinking on a Saturday and belting out the hearts song at 3pm.

 

Not to mention, birds in football tops... 

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Good thread @To Be Frank !

 

1. Loyalty

2. Personality

3. Being a vital part of a well balanced and happy couple for more years than I care to remember!

 

 

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Alex Kintner
1 hour ago, Thommo414 said:

Supporting Hearts

 

A cop out but I really hate the fact my bird has next to interest in football in contrast to my enthusiasm for it. What I would give for her to love daytime drinking on a Saturday and belting out the hearts song at 3pm.

 

Not to mention, birds in football tops... 

 

I see where you’re coming from with this but at the same time I like that going to the football with my mates is separate from my marriage. A healthy relationship needs space and separate interests. She’ll take an interest if I’m watching a televised match and keeps her ear out for Hearts news and I’m happy with that ??

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Ability to happily sit in silence together

 

Similar but not identical interests/tastes i.e same genre of music but different bands

 

Willingness to try new things, food, travel etc

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Sexton Hardcastle

If she’s from Hawick - allowing you to shite on her chest and smother it all over her face and body.

 

Too soon?

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doctor jambo

Initially all that lovey dovey stuff, but having been married a long time, I'd have to say that now it would be volume control. Definitely volume control.

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Harry Potter
18 minutes ago, Sexton Hardcastle said:

If she’s from Hawick - allowing you to shite on her chest and smother it all over her face and body.

 

Too soon?

 

192x.jpg

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Love

Patience

Support

 

Fifty nine years in March, my wife has supported me in every thing I have done since we met, this I have to admit required and she never wilted lots of patience.

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doctor jambo
1 hour ago, Sexton Hardcastle said:

If she’s from Hawick - allowing you to shite on her chest and smother it all over her face and body.

 

Too soon?

Having recently driven through Hawick 2 things spring to mine

1- You'd need to aim for her knees

2- you would have to produce a hell of a lot to get decent coverage, or she'd resemble a sort of faecal fresian

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Sexton Hardcastle
9 minutes ago, doctor jambo said:

Having recently driven through Hawick 2 things spring to mine

1- You'd need to aim for her knees

2- you would have to produce a hell of a lot to get decent coverage, or she'd resemble a sort of faecal fresian

The video doing the rounds confirms the bloke does produce a lot of shite.

 

I wouldn’t advise watching the video. It’s utterly vile.

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The Old Tolbooth
1 hour ago, Sexton Hardcastle said:

If she’s from Hawick - allowing you to shite on her chest and smother it all over her face and body.

 

Too soon?

49435950_2311775402390094_4852663065604259840_n.png?_nc_cat=111&_nc_ht=scontent.fman3-1.fna&oh=c57910639f56f409ea45c18b08c07868&oe=5C902422

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3 hours ago, To Be Frank said:

 

I see where you’re coming from with this but at the same time I like that going to the football with my mates is separate from my marriage. A healthy relationship needs space and separate interests. She’ll take an interest if I’m watching a televised match and keeps her ear out for Hearts news and I’m happy with that ??

Aye but when your pals are part timers or don't support your team the football can be a lonely place if you're not extroverted enough to chat to those around you. 

 

Your pals also won't prevent your hole for going to away games :lol:

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49 minutes ago, Sexton Hardcastle said:

The video doing the rounds confirms the bloke does produce a lot of shite.

 

I wouldn’t advise watching the video. It’s utterly vile.

 

It was bad enough doing it but to film it then show everyone the film is hard to believe 

 

Some weird sick people out there 

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Alex Kintner
3 hours ago, Thommo414 said:

Aye but when your pals are part timers or don't support your team the football can be a lonely place if you're not extroverted enough to chat to those around you. 

 

Your pals also won't prevent your hole for going to away games :lol:

 

?

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8 hours ago, Thommo414 said:

Supporting Hearts

 

A cop out but I really hate the fact my bird has next to interest in football in contrast to my enthusiasm for it. What I would give for her to love daytime drinking on a Saturday and belting out the hearts song at 3pm.

 

Not to mention, birds in football tops... 

Hahaha agreed , my mrs can’t stand it. She will never complain when there is a Hearts game on if I go or watch it but any other games its a moan. I mean ffs woman just perv at there legs n asses or summat. It canna be that bad nowadays nae like the 80s where some of the bellies were bigger than ours. 

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9 hours ago, Glib and Shameless Crier said:

Interesting discussion. 

 

The whole “physical attractiveness isn’t important” thing is a misnomer imo. You don’t have any control over that. You can decide that other things are more important than what you find physically attractive, and make a decision to instead go for qualities beyond what you find physically attractive, but physical attraction is usually the first thing that sparks.

 

Of course, you can be lucky enough to find someone who is not only physically attractive to you, attracted to you, and attractive and attracted to your mind and personality too. 

 

I find it funny when people try and try and deny their natural coding and pretend that physical attraction means nothing to them. As though that makes them less shallow than their fellow man. Bullshit. Some people just either choose to ignore it in the hope that it develops over time.

 

Often of course there is also a situation where a person finds others attractive, but they are not themselves attractive to the people that they are attracted to. In those situations, you will find the person often pretends that they simply hold other attributes in higher regard, when in actual fact they are usually just lying to themselves to protect their fragile ego.

Listen here ****o , just cause your still young (at least in mind) some of us at my age have given up on the sexual attractiveness and are just happy to be able to get good companionship , someone that doesn’t complain when we piss the bed during the night and can wipe our asses when we forget without bokkin... @To Be Frank has a good thread here.... I mean I’d love a bit of Rachel Riley she looks great fun , but no chance I’d keep up or even get up in the first place at my age....and if i did I’d prob drop dead so sexual attractiveness is out the window as a requirement ??‍♂️

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1 minute ago, sadj said:

Hahaha agreed , my mrs can’t stand it. She will never complain when there is a Hearts game on if I go or watch it but any other games its a moan. I mean ffs woman just perv at there legs n asses or summat. It canna be that bad nowadays nae like the 80s where some of the bellies were bigger than ours. 

Tbf my bird took the perving a bit far at the last match she attended. She's fancied a few players over the years she's known me (Juanma, Lafferty, Vanecek, Uche to name but a few). Still can't convince her that the fitbaws a good day out though :vrface:

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26 minutes ago, To Be Frank said:

 

?

You laugh but Dundee away last season kicked off a barren spell that would have a nun gagging :lol:

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3 hours ago, theshed said:

 

It was bad enough doing it but to film it then show everyone the film is hard to believe 

 

Some weird sick people out there 

Aye, seen all them videos, there’s 5 of them. I know Scotty well. Knew he was a deviant and a philanderer but not on that level. Shame he’s ruined himself. He’ll have to move to Canada or something now. 

He wasn’t just the lead singer of a relatively successful band within their genre, he was a well respected person in the community and a Joinery lecturer. He actually turned up for work yesterday believe it or not. 

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6 hours ago, Sexton Hardcastle said:

If she’s from Hawick - allowing you to shite on her chest and smother it all over her face and body.

 

Too soon?

 

Thankfully not seen the video in question or heard of the band. 

 

Cant say I’m surprised with a song called “scattyboo” in their discography.

 

Is that his nickname for his mistress?

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54 minutes ago, sadj said:

Listen here ****o , just cause your still young (at least in mind) some of us at my age have given up on the sexual attractiveness and are just happy to be able to get good companionship , someone that doesn’t complain when we piss the bed during the night and can wipe our asses when we forget without bokkin... @To Be Frank has a good thread here.... I mean I’d love a bit of Rachel Riley she looks great fun , but no chance I’d keep up or even get up in the first place at my age....and if i did I’d prob drop dead so sexual attractiveness is out the window as a requirement ??‍♂️

 

:rofl:

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1 hour ago, sadj said:

Listen here ****o , just cause your still young (at least in mind) some of us at my age have given up on the sexual attractiveness and are just happy to be able to get good companionship , someone that doesn’t complain when we piss the bed during the night and can wipe our asses when we forget without bokkin... @To Be Frank has a good thread here.... I mean I’d love a bit of Rachel Riley she looks great fun , but no chance I’d keep up or even get up in the first place at my age....and if i did I’d prob drop dead so sexual attractiveness is out the window as a requirement ??‍♂️

 

B9324ADE-B04A-46D2-8F87-625CF94E48EF.gif

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1 hour ago, Cruyff Turn said:

Aye, seen all them videos, there’s 5 of them. I know Scotty well. Knew he was a deviant and a philanderer but not on that level. Shame he’s ruined himself. He’ll have to move to Canada or something now. 

He wasn’t just the lead singer of a relatively successful band within their genre, he was a well respected person in the community and a Joinery lecturer. He actually turned up for work yesterday believe it or not. 

 

I seen another clip and thought it looked like the same bird so you saying there’s 5 videos going around then it probably is her 

 

Water works in the other one I seen and I don’t mean she was crying 

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North Berwick Jambo

I turn 49 this year & I have been with the missus for over 30 years now, my three are...

Honesty 

Humour 

Love 

 

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My wife is my best friend but I'm not even close to being her best friend.

 

Shallow as it sounds I like a lady that looks after herself, makes me laugh and is easy to be around.

 

Ive got 2 of these at least ?

  

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8 minutes ago, theshed said:

 

I seen another clip and thought it looked like the same bird so you saying there’s 5 videos going around then it probably is her 

 

Water works in the other one I seen and I don’t mean she was crying 

It’s the same lassie alright. I’ve seen 5, there are rumours that there’s 32 and they are all on HornPub. Everyone of them is utter deviancy. He’s so ruined and has lost everything. It’s front page of the Scottish Sun now. 

 

 

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1 hour ago, Oliver Twist said:

A pulse is about my only stipulation. 

 

Well, most of the time anyway.

1. Trying to sound like a man should.  :wink: 

 

2. Softening the blow.  :wink: 

 

3. If you’ll pardon the expression?

 

4. :whistling: 

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Samuel Camazzola
1 hour ago, theshed said:

 

I seen another clip and thought it looked like the same bird so you saying there’s 5 videos going around then it probably is her 

 

Water works in the other one I seen and I don’t mean she was crying 

The screenshots of the WhatsApp chat are funny. The girl's brother joins in on the group and asks what they are going on about. One of them replies "I don't think you want to know". ? 

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37 minutes ago, Samuel Camazzola said:

The screenshots of the WhatsApp chat are funny. The girl's brother joins in on the group and asks what they are going on about. One of them replies "I don't think you want to know". ? 

Her 10 yr old son seen it. :uhoh2: 

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39 minutes ago, Cruyff Turn said:

Her 10 yr old son seen it. :uhoh2: 

Right someone enlighten us confused types please. We have the jist but the wee teases of info suggests the full story n names are required 

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4 minutes ago, sadj said:

Right someone enlighten us confused types please. We have the jist but the wee teases of info suggests the full story n names are required 

So, In Hawick, a small town in the Borders there’s a guy called Iain Scott. He is the lead singer of a Scottish Runrig type band called Scocha, they recently were guests at Hampden for the Scotland v Israel game and we’re due to support Big Country. They are quite well known in certain circles and have a following in America be in parts of Europe too.

 

Scotty is also possibly the most well known person in the Borders due to his band, his job and his part in the Common Riding. “A well kent face” Part of the establishment there.

 

Iain’s day job is as a Joinery Lecturer at Borders College in Gala, infact he was my Lecturer when I was an apprentice many moons ago. 

 

Anyway, everyone knows Scotty is a bit of a womaniser, a bit of a lad, he loves himself, thinks he’s some kind of Lou Reed. Got the sideburns and always wears black, thinks he’s gods gift. 

 

So he’s been having an affair with a 33 yr old woman who I won’t name. He’s 50. Not only has he’s been having an affair but he’s filmed it, or she’s filmed it. The woman involved has had a house party on New Years night and for some reason has left her phone lying around, someone has went into her phone and has sent these videos around messanger. Now I’ve got all the videos on my group chat but they aren’t what you’d call ‘normal’ a bit more than just a bit of kink. There is jobbies involved. There’s an almost violent, abusive nature to these videos in which there are a number of men and the lassie is degraded quite shockingly.

 

Now, the lassie is apparently in a mental hospital. Everyone in the Borders has seen these videos, his family, his friends, doctors, lawyers, Common Riding folk, old woman, his work colleagues, guys he respects, apprentices, literally everyone. No one knew about this affair apparently and everyone has found out through watching the vids. 

 

This guy was on a pedestal and was highly respected. Now he’s not got a job, his bands basically finished, his wife will no doubt punt him, it’s all over the Tabloids, his family think he’s disgusting. He’s finished, I’d be surprised if he didn’t top himself tbh such is his fall from grace.

 

 

 https://www.thescottishsun.co.uk/news/scottish-news/3722411/scocha-iain-scott-video-sex-hawick/

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38 minutes ago, Cruyff Turn said:

So, In Hawick, a small town in the Borders there’s a guy called Iain Scott. He is the lead singer of a Scottish Runrig type band called Scocha, they recently were guests at Hampden for the Scotland v Israel game and we’re due to support Big Country. They are quite well known in certain circles and have a following in America be in parts of Europe too.

 

Scotty is also possibly the most well known person in the Borders due to his band, his job and his part in the Common Riding. “A well kent face” Part of the establishment there.

 

Iain’s day job is as a Joinery Lecturer at Borders College in Gala, infact he was my Lecturer when I was an apprentice many moons ago. 

 

Anyway, everyone knows Scotty is a bit of a womaniser, a bit of a lad, he loves himself, thinks he’s some kind of Lou Reed. Got the sideburns and always wears black, thinks he’s gods gift. 

 

So he’s been having an affair with a 33 yr old woman who I won’t name. He’s 50. Not only has he’s been having an affair but he’s filmed it, or she’s filmed it. The woman involved has had a house party on New Years night and for some reason has left her phone lying around, someone has went into her phone and has sent these videos around messanger. Now I’ve got all the videos on my group chat but they aren’t what you’d call ‘normal’ a bit more than just a bit of kink. There is jobbies involved. There’s an almost violent, abusive nature to these videos in which there are a number of men and the lassie is degraded quite shockingly.

 

Now, the lassie is apparently in a mental hospital. Everyone in the Borders has seen these videos, his family, his friends, doctors, lawyers, Common Riding folk, old woman, his work colleagues, guys he respects, apprentices, literally everyone. No one knew about this affair apparently and everyone has found out through watching the vids. 

 

This guy was on a pedestal and was highly respected. Now he’s not got a job, his bands basically finished, his wife will no doubt punt him, it’s all over the Tabloids, his family think he’s disgusting. He’s finished, I’d be surprised if he didn’t top himself tbh such is his fall from grace.

 

 

 https://www.thescottishsun.co.uk/news/scottish-news/3722411/scocha-iain-scott-video-sex-hawick/

 

Never heard of them/him before. Christ though, he’s ruined now. Hope he doesn’t take his own life, that’s a terrible thing. Also hope the lassie was consenting and that she doesn’t have any lasting mental health issues. So ****ed up! ?

 

Not a chance I will ever see those videos or even stills of them though. Nope. Some things you cannot unsee, and this sounds like a prime example of that.

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2 minutes ago, Glib and Shameless Crier said:

 

Never heard of them/him before. Christ though, he’s ruined now. Hope he doesn’t take his own life, that’s a terrible thing. Also hope the lassie was consenting and that she doesn’t have any lasting mental health issues. So ****ed up! ?

 

Not a chance I will ever see those videos or even stills of them though. Nope. Some things you cannot unsee, and this sounds like a prime example of that.

It’s mental. I’d hope not. Yes he’s a bit of a lad but a good laugh & a good guy in my experience. People in that town won’t remember all the good things he’s done though, just these videos. As one of my mates put it, he could save the world now and all he’ll be remembered for is this.

 

 His whole life is that town, his job, his rep, his band, now it’s finished and it’s not like a City where no one would know you walking down the street, everyone knows him. It’s a backwards, cliquey place and I doubt he’ll be able to show his face in public in that town. It would take some bottle. Someone on my chat said they were at the cash machine and there was old wummin talking about it. If it was me, I’d emigrate to the other side of the world. He must be absolutely humiliated. 

 

Although I did hear went to work on Monday and got absolutely annihilated before being escorted away out of the building. 

 

The lassie involved I think was already a bit delicate, single mum of 3 boys and was a bit desperate for attention. She apparently was in love with him and would have done anything, literally anything to please. It is consensual but I don’t think she wanted to displease him by saying no or stop because some of the things he’s doing is clearly causing obvious physical damage. 

 

It is absolute filth, I’d urge anyone looking for them to err on the side of caution. 

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1 hour ago, Cruyff Turn said:

It’s mental. I’d hope not. Yes he’s a bit of a lad but a good laugh & a good guy in my experience. People in that town won’t remember all the good things he’s done though, just these videos. As one of my mates put it, he could save the world now and all he’ll be remembered for is this.

 

 His whole life is that town, his job, his rep, his band, now it’s finished and it’s not like a City where no one would know you walking down the street, everyone knows him. It’s a backwards, cliquey place and I doubt he’ll be able to show his face in public in that town. It would take some bottle. Someone on my chat said they were at the cash machine and there was old wummin talking about it. If it was me, I’d emigrate to the other side of the world. He must be absolutely humiliated. 

 

Although I did hear went to work on Monday and got absolutely annihilated before being escorted away out of the building. 

 

The lassie involved I think was already a bit delicate, single mum of 3 boys and was a bit desperate for attention. She apparently was in love with him and would have done anything, literally anything to please. It is consensual but I don’t think she wanted to displease him by saying no or stop because some of the things he’s doing is clearly causing obvious physical damage. 

 

It is absolute filth, I’d urge anyone looking for them to err on the side of caution. 

His mental health , hers and his and her family/kids all must be in a bad place. Thats not a good thing at all. Hopefully it all settles down but i fear that would mean he has to move small towns are not places that forget scandals. Like Glib iv never heard of him or them before and I know my music pretty well. ??‍♂️

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