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Most irritating sayings or expressions

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Francis Albert
38 minutes ago, jonnothejambo said:

Scotrail announcer. 

 

See it. Say it. Sorted. 

 

My feckin arse. 

 

Should be. 

 

See it. Feck it. Missed it coz it wiz cancelled ya wanks.

It isn't just Scotrail but all over the rail network. The worst thing is that someone may have been paid to come up with this drivel.

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jonnothejambo
5 minutes ago, Francis Albert said:

It isn't just Scotrail but all over the rail network. The worst thing is that someone may have been paid to come up with this drivel.

 

They have something similar used by Amtrak in the US that sounded better but I can't recall it.

 

You are correct about the drivel over here.

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Thunderstruck
On 28/12/2018 at 02:17, Francis Albert said:

People who say "one hundred squid" are annoying.

I mean generally, not just for saying it.

 

That reminds me of another - 

 

‘It was a damp squid’.

 

I would think that squid (squids?) are at their best when damp. Squibs on the other hand...

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DG_HMFC

Not read the full thread but a saying that does my tits in is...'Just about' usually said by BBC Snooker commentators when describing if a player has landed on the next ball. What they should say is 'He's on it' and not 'Just about on it'.

 

 :lol: I know it's daft but it does my head in.

 

 

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Sarah O

People calling people troops;  "Awrite then troops"

 

Calling card of a moron.

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jonnothejambo

Clowns that say 'sorry' out of context. 

 

As in 'Sorry, but I disagree with your optionion etc.'

 

You're not sorry at all ya smug, smartarsed, twat featured, smegma faced wankpiece. 

 

So why are you apologising ya knobend ?

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RobNox

 

People who sidle up to me at work when I'm clearly having lunch at my desk, then say "I can see you're on your lunch, but..."

 

I usually cut them off at that point and say "you can see I'm on my lunch , but you're going to interrupt me anyway, because whatever you are going to ask me is far too important to wait until I've finished my lunch".

 

That response often elicits a laugh, because the person who is interrupting my lunch is under the false impression that I'm joking.  I promptly disabuse them of that notion, then ask about the nature of their enquiry which is so urgent that it must interrupt the partaking of my mid-day comestibles.

 

They usually never bother me again.

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ri Alban
On 27/12/2018 at 16:17, Francis Albert said:

People who say "one hundred squid" are annoying.

I mean generally, not just for saying it.

Who says that, Greg Norman?

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ri Alban
Posted (edited)
On 27/12/2018 at 14:53, Morgan said:

You are of course correct when it is written down.

 

You are of course wrong when saying it.

 

::troll::

I'm away to spend my 10,000 pences.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Yes, I know. It's a take on 1 penny. Most folk say 1 pence.

Edited by ri Alban

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Morgan
5 hours ago, ri Alban said:

I'm away to spend my 10,000 pences.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Yes, I know. It's a take on 1 penny. Most folk say 1 pence.

Pound for pound though, I get your drift.

 

Happy New Year btw. :thumbsup:

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Marvin
On ‎31‎/‎12‎/‎2018 at 15:54, jonnothejambo said:

Scotrail announcer. 

 

See it. Say it. Sorted. 

 

My feckin arse. 

 

Should be. 

 

See it. Feck it. Missed it coz it wiz cancelled ya wanks.

 

That's the kind of shite announced when I go to work in the mornings. 

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jonnothejambo
Just now, Marvin said:

 

That's the kind of shite announced when I go to work in the mornings. 

 

Never mind Marvin. You can get even more annoyed at the fare hike.

 

Hope they haven't increased my Saltire card charges.....

 

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Marvin
18 minutes ago, jonnothejambo said:

 

Never mind Marvin. You can get even more annoyed at the fare hike.

 

Hope they haven't increased my Saltire card charges.....

 

 

3% for me which takes my ST to £115 every month. Might just start using the bus instead. Downside is the bus takes an hour to get there.

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Hampden Demolition

‘Staunch’. Usually used by huns on twitter to describe someone or something that is part of their Zombie regime.

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ri Alban
On 02/01/2019 at 12:25, Morgan said:

Pound for pound though, I get your drift.

 

Happy New Year btw. :thumbsup:

Happy new year!

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Morgan
3 minutes ago, ri Alban said:

Happy new year!

:toasting::thumb::wavey:

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robroy1874

"Lessons will be learnt'

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Stokesy

'Chicken or the egg' when referring to a situation where either choice could be true annoys me as the answer is the egg.

 

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Chicken_or_the_egg

 

Quote

 

If the question refers to eggs in general, the egg came first. The first amniote egg—that is, a hard-shelled egg that could be laid on land, rather than remaining in water like the eggs of fish or amphibians—appeared around 312 million years ago. In contrast, chickens are domesticated descendants of red junglefowl and probably arose little more than eight thousand years ago, at most.

 

If the question refers to chicken eggs specifically, the answer is still the egg, but the explanation is more complicated. The process by which the chicken arose through the interbreeding and domestication of multiple species of wild jungle fowl is poorly understood, and the point at which this evolving organism became a chicken is a somewhat arbitrary distinction. Whatever criteria one chooses, an animal nearly identical to the modern chicken (i.e., a proto-chicken) laid a fertilized egg that had DNA identical to the modern chicken (due to mutations in the mother's ovum, the father's sperm, or the fertilised zygote). Put more simply by Neil deGrasse Tyson: "Which came first: the chicken or the egg? The egg—laid by a bird that was not a chicken."

 

 

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The Treasurer
On ‎01‎/‎01‎/‎2019 at 23:47, RobNox said:

 

People who sidle up to me at work when I'm clearly having lunch at my desk, then say "I can see you're on your lunch, but..."

 

I usually cut them off at that point and say "you can see I'm on my lunch , but you're going to interrupt me anyway, because whatever you are going to ask me is far too important to wait until I've finished my lunch".

 

That response often elicits a laugh, because the person who is interrupting my lunch is under the false impression that I'm joking.  I promptly disabuse them of that notion, then ask about the nature of their enquiry which is so urgent that it must interrupt the partaking of my mid-day comestibles.

 

They usually never bother me again.

On a similar note "I know you're busy but..."

 

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John Gentleman

"All four corners of the world.." – when the effin thing's a globe (or 'elipse', for the scientists among us).

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Thommo414
4 hours ago, John Gentleman said:

"All four corners of the world.." – when the effin thing's a globe (or 'elipse', for the scientists among us).

Probably more suited to the seethe thread but the fact that there's a large group of people who have trouble with this fact gives me rage

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Dawnrazor
5 hours ago, John Gentleman said:

"All four corners of the world.." – when the effin thing's a globe (or 'elipse', for the scientists among us).

Was that used when sailers navagated using maps and charts? 

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Morgan

Swings and Roundabouts.

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Tazio
13 minutes ago, Morgan said:

Swings and Roundabouts.

 

Especially when followed by "at the end of the day"

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I P Knightley
6 hours ago, John Gentleman said:

"All four corners of the world.." – when the effin thing's a globe (or 'elipse', for the scientists among us).

"Ellipsoid", I think you'll find :whistling:

 

 

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Morgan

The hard and fast rule.

 

The golden rule.

 

All singing, all dancing.

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John Gentleman
14 hours ago, I P Knightley said:

"Ellipsoid", I think you'll find :whistling:

 

 

It's actually an oblate spheroid (slightly 'squashed' at the equator). But call it what you will – it still doesn't have corners.

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John Gentleman
15 hours ago, Dawnrazor said:

Was that used when sailers navagated using maps and charts? 

Ah yes, the 'Mercator' projection. That's the one (deliberately so) where the European countries looked big in comparison to all these wee countries in Africa.

The True Size Of....

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iantjambo

“Where were these teachers when I was at school”

 

This always crops up when a particularly attractive teacher has been caught out banging one of her pupils.

 

I think people genuinely think they’re the first person ever to make this highly original wisecrack.

 

 

 

 

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John Gentleman

"Not to mention....", then folk go on to mention something which, presumably, they weren't going to mention.

Bizarre phrase.

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Bridge of Djoum

Wage thief

Virtue signaler

Is it in yet.

 

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Bridge of Djoum

Wage thief

Virtue signaler

Is it in yet.

Cheeky wee prosecco/cheeky wee anything

Wine o'clock

Get it up the park

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Bridge of Djoum

Wage thief

Virtue signaler

Is it in yet.

Cheeky wee prosecco/cheeky wee anything

Wine o'clock

Get it up the park

Share the hell out of this

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Bridge of Djoum

Anything Danny Dyer says.

 

 

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Bridge of Djoum

I got into trouble recently for refusing to go on a ''team bonding'' trip with work.

 

If they had phrased it as ''fancy a trip to Virginia with the group for a few beers on the firm'' I may have approved.

 

Also, I'm the only one in my ''team'' I work independently. The rest are merely support for my brilliance.

 

 

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superjack

Whatever you doing this weekend? (When my boss asks).

He knows I don't get overtime, therefore knows my answer is a rather polite feck off, but he still insists on asking when a new project is starting. START IT DURING THE WEEK YOU PAISLEY WANK.

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ri Alban
1 minute ago, superjack said:

Whatever you doing this weekend? (When my boss asks).

He knows I don't get overtime, therefore knows my answer is a rather polite feck off, but he still insists on asking when a new project is starting. START IT DURING THE WEEK YOU PAISLEY WANK.

Anyone that says Ken, Barry and Likesy. Horrendous.

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Joey J J Jr Shabadoo

Folk that use the word hauf.

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Morgan

Two written ones:

 

Presser.

 

Alot.

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DarthVodka

‘Throw the baby out with the bath water’ is one I’m hearing quite a bit recently. Irritating 

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Morgan

Another written one:

 

Allot.

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jonnothejambo
2 hours ago, Morgan said:

Two written ones:

 

Presser.

 

Alot.

 

Annoying as feck these two.

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Morgan
7 minutes ago, jonnothejambo said:

 

Annoying as feck these two.

You should of not let them annoy you allot.

 

Soz.

 

My bad.  :wink: 

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jonnothejambo
46 minutes ago, Morgan said:

You should of not let them annoy you allot.

 

Soz.

 

My bad.  :wink: 

 

Totally and absolutely.

 

:vrface:

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Morgan
14 minutes ago, jonnothejambo said:

 

Totally and absolutely.

 

:vrface:

:facepalm: We are singing from the same hymn sheet bro. Which, in itself, is a blue sky idea.

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superjack
2 hours ago, Morgan said:

:facepalm: We are singing from the same hymn sheet bro. Which, in itself, is a blue sky idea.

Looks like you're on your A game Morgan.

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Morgan
18 minutes ago, superjack said:

Looks like you're on your A game Morgan.

Let’s run that up the flagpole shall we Jack?

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superjack
2 hours ago, Morgan said:

Let’s run that up the flagpole shall we Jack?

Cool cool, we can bounce a few ideas about until we hit the button (This is the sort of bullshite I have to listen to every fecking day from senior managers with the collective IQ of a dead jobby).

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Ulysses
9 hours ago, DarthVodka said:

‘Throw the baby out with the bath water’ is one I’m hearing quite a bit recently. Irritating 

 

 

Throw+%253A+Baby+Bath.gif

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ri Alban
18 hours ago, Joey J J Jr Shabadoo said:

Folk that use the word hauf.

Folk that don't use the word hauf.

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