Jump to content

Worst pub you've been in.


tweegy

Recommended Posts

The Parafin Lamp in Livingston.

A workmate had his engagement do there about 1988.

Just being a young lad from Gorgie I had never imagined such things.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • Replies 265
  • Created
  • Last Reply

Top Posters In This Topic

  • Morgan

    40

  • John Findlay

    12

  • luckyBatistuta

    12

  • Maroon Sailor

    9

John Findlay

That was the bog standard run

Half of Spanners ended up on our Gronk Board

Aye Battersea and Seafield would have been proud of the high standard of canines that made the mess Gronk board. I understand they are forbidden nowadays. Not PC anymore.

 

I forgot the Bistro club. Lovingly referred to as beasties due, to the high standard of female clientele that frequented the establishment.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

The grapes. Seen someone snot their nose and WAF a big greener onto the floor the manky *******. Sat down with my of Guinness took one sip and it was off. Took it back for money and got laughed at

Link to comment
Share on other sites

luckyBatistuta

I used to go there of a Friday night in the early to mid 80s.

 

A wee tough nut called Brian looked after the door - sort of unnecessarily; I never saw anything approaching grief there. Mind you, it was a starting point before heading into town; I was never there near closing time.

 

As a youngster, a pint or two of snakebite often helped the evening get off to a start. The lassie behind the bar refused to serve me two pints of the stuff. When I asked for a pint of lager and a pint of cider, she also refused, saying, "I know what you want them for." Two pints of lager then, and 10 minutes later a pint of cider. We got there.

Used to get in some states with the old snakebites. Think one of my mates put blackcurrant in his (pink panther?) Lethal stuff though, don't think I'd still be here if I'd continued drinking that.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Used to get in some states with the old snakebites. Think one of my mates put blackcurrant in his (pink panther?) Lethal stuff though, don't think I'd still be here if I'd continued drinking that.

Takes me back to Dizzy Lizzy's in the mid '80's. Snakebite/panthers were the beverage of me and my mates. They didn't half make the rugs on the ceiling spin when I looked up.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Nothing comes close to one special boozer I lived near a good few years ago in Newlyn in Cornwall. The Swordfish Inn is by far the most frightening & unbelievable pub I have ever been in. It sits right on the harbour in the town & is a regular for trawlermen coming back from sea after many days. These guys usually walk off the boat loaded & go straight to the bar for a full on sesh. I realised straight away the landlord had no say over the place as he was so intimidated by the crazy drug fuelled deckhands everyday. Everyone would openly skin up & snort lines on the tables, ignore last orders & deliberately lock themselves in, The local police were shit scared to go anywhere near the place so these guys knew they could get away with it. The puggy was bolted to the wall & all the tables & chairs bolted to the floor to stop them being used as weapons. Even the ashtrays were screwed to the table. I saw folk go flying through the windows on to the street, a guy so off his nut he was sitting naked on the roof in the rain playing the saxophone. It was normal to go past early in the morning & find a few of them asleep on the pavement or the road as they couldn't make it any further. A few years after I left the area I saw a documentary called Britains worst boozer & guess what got a mention?

 

 

2mins into the video

 

;)

Just watched that. Quite the watering hole eh!

 

Tell u what though, if you shut your eyes you'd think the landlord was Brian Conley. I watched that video just waiting for him to say "It's a puppetttt" :-)

Link to comment
Share on other sites

John Findlay

Way back in 1981 on my first visit to Hamburg. Was in a bar in the Reeperbahn,excuse the spelling. Just as I was about to have the first mouthful of my beer/lager. Something caught my vision out the corner of my eye. I turned to see what it was and a porn film was being projected onto a wall of the bar. Only thing is it was a woman performing oral sex on a horse. Doesn't half put you off your beer/lager.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

The Snap Lounge in Phoenix, Arizona.

 

You know what, it's not even worth my story, which involves an 8:00am arrival, a drunken Native American falling out of his barstool (by 9:30am), and a transvestite playing pool and then going into the women's bathroom.

 

I'll leave it instead to the good people at the Phoenix New Times.  A narrative in two parts: Part 1   Part 2

 

Some highlights:

 

After asking to repeat himself a few times, we discover Jack Daniels' jail story was the result of a crime of passion: He threw his wife's lover through a living room window after catching them in the act. After a few days, his wife felt sorry for him and posted his bail. Oddly enough, they're not together anymore.

. . .

"At what point were you sexually active?" Stan, who had turned away from Tana and was now talking to me, says. When I tell him I'm not going to answer his question, he says, "You smell nice, you know. Hey, how do you work your camera?"

. . .

"You know, you can get a hooker on Camelback for $30."

 

 

And if that wasn't enough for you, here's a bonus story.

Edited by Justin Z
Link to comment
Share on other sites

The one that immediately springs to mind is the Spirit Level in the east end of Glasgow. Hell's waiting room for angry Celtic fans.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I may be imagining this but wasn't there a fuss a few years ago when they refused to allow someone in because he/she was in a wheelchair.

Something rings a wee bell in my head about this.

I've heard that too John.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I may be imagining this but wasn't there a fuss a few years ago when they refused to allow someone in because he/she was in a wheelchair.

Something rings a wee bell in my head about this.

Wouldn't surprise me.

Edited by Morgan
Link to comment
Share on other sites

I knew Dusty very well. She's was KT Tunstall's cousin.

God, I never knew that. She went out with a guy I was at school with.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

The IB in tolcross and the maleney arms in balerno. Both shiteholes.

Agreed about the IB.

 

I mentioned that place in my original list of five worst pubs. Horrendous place.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Maroon Sailor

The Pig & Whistle in Liverpool has to be up there.

You've just reminded me of Punch and Judy's just over the road from Lime Street.

 

It burnt down a few years ago

Link to comment
Share on other sites

luckyBatistuta

Agreed about the IB.

I mentioned that place in my original list of five worst pubs. Horrendous place.

I got barred type post

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I got barred type post

Sussed. :phface:

 

Seriously, you would have to do something pretty bad (murder?) to get barred from there. :lol:

Edited by Morgan
Link to comment
Share on other sites

luckyBatistuta

Sussed. :phface:

Seriously, you would have to do something pretty bad (murder?) to get barred from there. :lol:

Would probably only be an iron version in there

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Would probably only be an iron version in there

True.

 

If ever a pub should have used plastic pint tumblers as standard....

Link to comment
Share on other sites

When I was an apprentice I was in The Butchers Arms in Chester and a boy walked in and planted an axe in some blokes back while he was standing at the bar. No-one batted an eyelid apart from me. I filled me pants and legged it as soon as I could.

 

Edinburgh wise The Vine in Leith is a toilet.

Edited by Jamhammer
Link to comment
Share on other sites

You must have led a sheltered life if Star Bar is the worst pub you've ever been in.

Not really.

 

I just think the place was a filthy shit hole, with a lone barman not interested in serving at all. As I said, more bothered about early his soup.

 

I have been in shit bars with good service, and good bars with shot service.

 

I found Star Bar to be a shit bar with shit service.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Been in a few places on this thread and they haven't bothered me at all. :lol:

 

My work used to have our Xmas Party in IB.

 

FWIW, where in Dalry was The Clock Inn?

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Special mention for the Rowantree in Mayfield, Dalkeith.

Quite a place, going back further the then Country Girl before it was bought over and changed to the Mayfield Inn and barred all the nutters who moved to the Rowantree, the place was full of bams but was great to get an under age pint in.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

crunchy frog

Been in a few places on this thread and they haven't bothered me at all. :lol:

 

My work used to have our Xmas Party in IB.

 

FWIW, where in Dalry was The Clock Inn?

The entrance to lidl
Link to comment
Share on other sites

Chathams, the Gorbals.

 

Would be about 25 years ago, and only went to buy some smoke. Barman pointed me to a table, transaction took place, I left to my mate outside, in his car, engine running.

 

Did it again, boy not there so some kids in the bar helped out with some weed.

 

Been twice, spent approx five minutes in the place in total.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Currently sitting in a pub in Middlesbrough, looks crap from outside but ok in, but what is the worst pub you've ended up in?

Pat Stanton's boozer in west granton, willie Muir iirc. Fecking dive on a mammoth scale.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Stuart Lyon

Didn't know Pat Stanton was involved in the Willie Muir - I thought his only pub venture was Cairns Bar at Abbeyhill!

Link to comment
Share on other sites

The entrance to lidl

Well before my time then! My earliest memories of Dalry are c. 1999 and I've never known there to be a pub there. Pretty sure before Lidl it was just a load of abandoned warehouses.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Maroon Sailor

Only thing I remember about being in The Clock Inn was a regular called Boxcar Willie

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Shanks said no

Been in a few places on this thread and they haven't bothered me at all. :lol:

 

My work used to have our Xmas Party in IB.

 

FWIW, where in Dalry was The Clock Inn?

it was across the road from Bensons /balmoral where Lidl/Aldi now is. Old rule of never go in a pub with a flat roof applied.

 

 

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

Edited by godandgorgie2012
Link to comment
Share on other sites

it was across the road from Bensons /balmoral where Lidl/Aldi now is. Old rule of never go in a pub with a flat roof applied.

 

 

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

Very true.

 

It had virtually no windows either IIRC?

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Didn't know Pat Stanton was involved in the Willie Muir - I thought his only pub venture was Cairns Bar at Abbeyhill!

Can't be sure just what I've been told. I was in there around 20 years ago. So maybe sold up and moved to Cairns :unsure:

Link to comment
Share on other sites

The Real Maroonblood

Pat Stanton's boozer in west granton, willie Muir iirc. Fecking dive on a mammoth scale.

Did it smell of pish?

Link to comment
Share on other sites

The captain's rest on great western road in Glasgow was the first time I had been in a pub where all the furniture was bolted to the floor. 1.50 a pint though and I was a skint student.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

MacDonald Jardine

Very true.

 

It had virtually no windows either IIRC?

No virtual about it. It had none.

 

Sent from my SM-G930F using Tapatalk

Link to comment
Share on other sites

joe.gausden

Don't think Stanton ever had the Willie Muir. Was good for a late drink on a Sunday night. Open til 1am. Busy with the karaoke

Link to comment
Share on other sites

The captain's rest on great western road in Glasgow was the first time I had been in a pub where all the furniture was bolted to the floor. 1.50 a pint though and I was a skint student.

Amazingly for the youngsters on here I remember the Black Swan on the High Street at the top of Cockburn Street had the bolted down tables. I was in there with my old man once and a guy sitting at the bar had a discreet puke on the floor and instantly ordered another pint, which he was given.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Amazingly for the youngsters on here I remember the Black Swan on the High Street at the top of Cockburn Street had the bolted down tables. I was in there with my old man once and a guy sitting at the bar had a discreet puke on the floor and instantly ordered another pint, which he was given.

Did you know the Swannie family from Buckstone that owned that place?

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Did you know the Swannie family from Buckstone that owned that place?

Nah, just an occasional stop if I met my old man after his work on early shift. Vietnam and then Swannies.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Nah, just an occasional stop if I met my old man after his work on early shift. Vietnam and then Swannies.

Vietnam as in Dundee Street?

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.




×
×
  • Create New...