Governor Tarkin Posted May 11, 2020 Share Posted May 11, 2020 Just now, Justin Z said: Only the finest, Gov. Coconut oil or gtf. Gentlemen, we have a connoisseur in our midst. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SwindonJambo Posted May 11, 2020 Share Posted May 11, 2020 17 hours ago, Governor Tarkin said: Big chebs are over-rated JZ. In Jockland they tend to be attached to the more robust of womenfolk. What is probably more desirable is a neat and compact mutton pouch. Unfortunately most of our unattached young internet dating ladies have more children than teeth by the time they exit their teens. This results in gammon vaults which look like someone has violently lobbed a pool ball into a vegetarian lasagne. In terms of sensation, you'd be better off opening your bedroom window and f&%^$#g the night. What an extremely amusing piece of prose😂 You have some way with words! Take a bow and thank you 👍 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dean Winchester Posted May 11, 2020 Share Posted May 11, 2020 18 hours ago, Governor Tarkin said: Big chebs are over-rated JZ. In Jockland they tend to be attached to the more robust of womenfolk. What is probably more desirable is a neat and compact mutton pouch. Unfortunately most of our unattached young internet dating ladies have more children than teeth by the time they exit their teens. This results in gammon vaults which look like someone has violently lobbed a pool ball into a vegetarian lasagne. In terms of sensation, you'd be better off opening your bedroom window and f&%^$#g the night. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Morgan Posted May 11, 2020 Share Posted May 11, 2020 Is it fair to conclude that @Governor Tarkin has made the post of the thread, and perhaps the post of the year, so far? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Brighton Jambo Posted May 11, 2020 Share Posted May 11, 2020 7 minutes ago, Morgan said: Is it fair to conclude that @Governor Tarkin has made the post of the thread, and perhaps the post of the year, so far? Absolutely this. My wife just asked why I laughed, safe to say I lied! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Morgan Posted May 11, 2020 Share Posted May 11, 2020 1 minute ago, Brighton Jambo said: Absolutely this. My wife just asked why I laughed, safe to say I lied! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Greedy Jambo Posted May 11, 2020 Share Posted May 11, 2020 13 minutes ago, Morgan said: Another great response to add on to your tale. 44 thousand posts of this. Get a dug. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Brick Tamland Posted May 11, 2020 Share Posted May 11, 2020 4 hours ago, Justin Z said: Only the finest, Gov. Coconut oil or gtf. You’re missing out if you don’t use this stuff... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Greedy Jambo Posted May 11, 2020 Share Posted May 11, 2020 Not enough pictures of breasts on here. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SwindonJambo Posted May 11, 2020 Share Posted May 11, 2020 2 hours ago, Morgan said: Is it fair to conclude that @Governor Tarkin has made the post of the thread, and perhaps the post of the year, so far? Definitely. I'm still laughing now 😉 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Locky Posted May 12, 2020 Share Posted May 12, 2020 9 hours ago, Brick Tamland said: You’re missing out if you don’t use this stuff... You and Justin must have very smooth lengths. Must slide in like a Melody Pop. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Locky Posted May 12, 2020 Share Posted May 12, 2020 7 hours ago, Space Pirate said: Not enough pictures of breasts on here. While I'd tend to agree, that might scare some of our eligible bachelorettes on the forum. And I really want to know more about their perspective of the (w)hole thing! Come on Kickback ladies, there must be one of you who is single and gagging for it. And nothing would make my miserable life happier than you signing up for Tinder and dishing out your soapy gossip. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
iantjambo Posted May 12, 2020 Share Posted May 12, 2020 11 hours ago, Space Pirate said: Another great response to add on to your tale. 44 thousand posts of this. Get a dug. Did Morgan piss in your cornflakes or something? You seem to dig at him quite a bit Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Locky Posted May 12, 2020 Share Posted May 12, 2020 1 hour ago, iantjambo said: Did Morgan piss in your cornflakes or something? You seem to dig at him quite a bit Maybe he could start a thread. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
iantjambo Posted May 12, 2020 Share Posted May 12, 2020 25 minutes ago, Locky said: Maybe he could start a thread. Why not? Don’t think he’s hit his daily quota of 350 yet Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Justin Z Posted May 12, 2020 Share Posted May 12, 2020 5 hours ago, iantjambo said: Did Morgan piss in your cornflakes or something? You seem to dig at him quite a bit I think he's on permanent seethe at Morgan rightly calling him out for being a gadfly and general annoyance for his own entertainment. Wee lamb. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
EH11_2NL Posted May 12, 2020 Share Posted May 12, 2020 Are you pretty much guaranteed your Nat King on Plenty Of Fish? Asking for a friend obviously 😶 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Morgan Posted May 12, 2020 Share Posted May 12, 2020 17 hours ago, Space Pirate said: Another great response to add on to your tale. 44 thousand posts of this. Get a dug. 6 hours ago, iantjambo said: Did Morgan piss in your cornflakes or something? You seem to dig at him quite a bit Thanks for quoting that post, Ian. I hadn’t seen it as I’ve had Space Prat on ignore since Saturday. Christ only knows why it took me so long to do so, though. I’m quite happy, however, in the knowledge that when I mean to type ‘tally’ I will do so correctly. I will not type ‘tale’ . 4 hours ago, Locky said: Maybe he could start a thread. Jesus Locks! Don’t give him any encouragement. he doesn’t need it. 4 hours ago, iantjambo said: Why not? Don’t think he’s hit his daily quota of 350 yet You're thinking he’s cut back like? 56 minutes ago, Justin Z said: I think he's on permanent seethe at Morgan rightly calling him out for being a gadfly and general annoyance for his own entertainment. Wee lamb. Gadfly is the perfect word for the wee lamb, Justin. His seethe is water off a ducks back to me. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Justin Z Posted May 12, 2020 Share Posted May 12, 2020 10 minutes ago, Morgan said: Gadfly is the perfect word for the wee lamb, Justin. It was among the more family friendly ones available Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Morgan Posted May 12, 2020 Share Posted May 12, 2020 1 minute ago, Justin Z said: It was among the more family friendly ones available Feck ‘family friendly’! You should have just gone for it... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
iantjambo Posted May 12, 2020 Share Posted May 12, 2020 50 minutes ago, Morgan said: Thanks for quoting that post, Ian. I hadn’t seen it as I’ve had Space Prat on ignore since Saturday. Christ only knows why it took me so long to do so, though. I’m quite happy, however, in the knowledge that when I mean to type ‘tally’ I will do so correctly. I will not type ‘tale’ . Jesus Locks! Don’t give him any encouragement. he doesn’t need it. You're thinking he’s cut back like? Gadfly is the perfect word for the wee lamb, Justin. His seethe is water off a ducks back to me. He does appear to have a rather unhealthy obsession with you Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Morgan Posted May 12, 2020 Share Posted May 12, 2020 14 minutes ago, iantjambo said: He does appear to have a rather unhealthy obsession with you Thankfully, I won’t be seeing any more of it. Bit of a waste of Space, really. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sooperstar Posted May 12, 2020 Share Posted May 12, 2020 8 hours ago, iantjambo said: Did Morgan piss in your cornflakes or something? You seem to dig at him quite a bit I've seen him make references to a few people's post counts now, despite him having a huge number over a short period of time since signing up. Very strange. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Angry Haggis Posted May 13, 2020 Share Posted May 13, 2020 “Gammon Vaults” Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Салатные палочки Posted May 13, 2020 Author Share Posted May 13, 2020 19 hours ago, EH11_2NL said: Are you pretty much guaranteed your Nat King on Plenty Of Fish? Asking for a friend obviously 😶 100% If not you really should just hang up the balls. However, depends on your standards. Don't get me wrong there is a lot of nice looking females on it. But if you want to get your hole and you're willing to lower the standards a bit then you are almost guaranteed to get it. If you have a car, you'll get your hole tonight. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
milky_26 Posted May 13, 2020 Share Posted May 13, 2020 46 minutes ago, Salad Fingers said: 100% If not you really should just hang up the balls. However, depends on your standards. Don't get me wrong there is a lot of nice looking females on it. But if you want to get your hole and you're willing to lower the standards a bit then you are almost guaranteed to get it. If you have a car, you'll get your hole tonight. what the hell are you doing with cars? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
EH11_2NL Posted May 13, 2020 Share Posted May 13, 2020 2 hours ago, Salad Fingers said: 100% If not you really should just hang up the balls. However, depends on your standards. Don't get me wrong there is a lot of nice looking females on it. But if you want to get your hole and you're willing to lower the standards a bit then you are almost guaranteed to get it. If you have a car, you'll get your hole tonight. Friend says thanks. He's off to grab his car keys Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cruyff Posted May 13, 2020 Share Posted May 13, 2020 21 hours ago, EH11_2NL said: Are you pretty much guaranteed your Nat King on Plenty Of Fish? Asking for a friend obviously 😶 Get on all the sites, badoo, tinder, pof, they're throwing themselves at you mate, you don't have to do anything, sit back, watch the likes come in and pick your victim(s) . Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Brick Tamland Posted May 13, 2020 Share Posted May 13, 2020 (edited) 22 hours ago, EH11_2NL said: Are you pretty much guaranteed your Nat King on Plenty Of Fish? Asking for a friend obviously 😶 100% yes But there is a very high chance of meeting Ms Needy, Ms Mental, Ms Bunny-Boiler and a Miss West Lothian first round loser. Edited May 13, 2020 by Brick Tamland Public health warning Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Samuel Camazzola Posted May 13, 2020 Share Posted May 13, 2020 56 minutes ago, Brick Tamland said: 100% yes But there is a very high chance of meeting Ms Needy, Ms Mental, Ms Bunny-Boiler and a Miss West Lothian first round loser. And one from Dalgety Bay! 😂 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lovecraft Posted May 13, 2020 Share Posted May 13, 2020 3 hours ago, milky_26 said: what the hell are you doing with cars? Knocking women unconscious. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
EH11_2NL Posted May 13, 2020 Share Posted May 13, 2020 1 hour ago, Brick Tamland said: 100% yes But there is a very high chance of meeting Ms Needy, Ms Mental, Ms Bunny-Boiler and a Miss West Lothian first round loser. Friend is more interested in meeting Ms Absolutely do anything you want clarty. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Brick Tamland Posted May 13, 2020 Share Posted May 13, 2020 1 hour ago, EH11_2NL said: Friend is more interested in meeting Ms Absolutely do anything you want clarty. She’ll be there but may be strongly related to one of the others Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Brick Tamland Posted May 13, 2020 Share Posted May 13, 2020 1 hour ago, Samuel Camazzola said: And one from Dalgety Bay! 😂 Another strong possibility 😂 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JackLadd Posted May 13, 2020 Share Posted May 13, 2020 Male dominated most of these sites. 9 to 1 on tinder, not worth the bother. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
theshed Posted May 13, 2020 Share Posted May 13, 2020 3 hours ago, Cruyff said: Get on all the sites, badoo, tinder, pof, they're throwing themselves at you mate, you don't have to do anything, sit back, watch the likes come in and pick your victim(s) . Wish I was single again 😓😓 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Greedy Jambo Posted May 15, 2020 Share Posted May 15, 2020 Check all these wanks talking about me, this place is a freak show. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
weegranty Posted May 15, 2020 Share Posted May 15, 2020 Online dating is not for me,18 year married,25 years together in total.Anyway a work mate is late 50's,at least 25 stone,has about 3 teeth and his wife has left him.He has joined Zoosk and has been very busy this last couple of weeks meeting up with all sorts,fair play I say. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
theshed Posted May 16, 2020 Share Posted May 16, 2020 7 hours ago, weegranty said: Online dating is not for me,18 year married,25 years together in total.Anyway a work mate is late 50's,at least 25 stone,has about 3 teeth and his wife has left him.He has joined Zoosk and has been very busy this last couple of weeks meeting up with all sorts,fair play I say. wife probably left him for someone she met online Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sarah O Posted May 16, 2020 Share Posted May 16, 2020 7 hours ago, weegranty said: Online dating is not for me,18 year married,25 years together in total.Anyway a work mate is late 50's,at least 25 stone,has about 3 teeth and his wife has left him.He has joined Zoosk and has been very busy this last couple of weeks meeting up with all sorts,fair play I say. Who needs lockdown. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
iantjambo Posted May 16, 2020 Share Posted May 16, 2020 9 hours ago, Space Pirate said: Check all these wanks talking about me, this place is a freak show. A piece of advice, straight from the playground... If you can’t take it. Don’t dish it out Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
iantjambo Posted May 16, 2020 Share Posted May 16, 2020 8 hours ago, weegranty said: Online dating is not for me,18 year married,25 years together in total.Anyway a work mate is late 50's,at least 25 stone,has about 3 teeth and his wife has left him.He has joined Zoosk and has been very busy this last couple of weeks meeting up with all sorts,fair play I say. Well if you’ve been married for 18 years and together 25, then I certainly hope online dating isn’t for you Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Whatever Posted May 16, 2020 Share Posted May 16, 2020 10 hours ago, Space Pirate said: Check all these wanks talking about me, this place is a freak show. You could always **** off. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
weegranty Posted May 16, 2020 Share Posted May 16, 2020 3 hours ago, iantjambo said: Well if you’ve been married for 18 years and together 25, then I certainly hope online dating isn’t for you 😁 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Governor Tarkin Posted May 16, 2020 Share Posted May 16, 2020 3 hours ago, Whatever said: You could always **** off. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Samuel Camazzola Posted May 16, 2020 Share Posted May 16, 2020 On 10/05/2020 at 22:58, Cruyff said: I've just been too busy! Yep. I will take one for the team and break the lockdown when im finished my work. Then i'll be be motorboating those badboys. It's all gone quiet. Did it turn out to be more Jordi and less Johann? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cruyff Posted May 16, 2020 Share Posted May 16, 2020 1 minute ago, Samuel Camazzola said: It's all gone quiet. Did it turn out to be more Jordi and less Johann? Nah, still going fine. I've been speaking to a few lassies. I avoid single mums, chavs, orange bird types etc... So the lassies i speak to are pretty well educated, sensible types and are not willing to break the lockdown. 🤷😢 That said, I'm meeting Dolly Parton tomorrow 🙈 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Greedy Jambo Posted May 16, 2020 Share Posted May 16, 2020 21 minutes ago, Cruyff said: Nah, still going fine. I've been speaking to a few lassies. I avoid single mums, chavs, orange bird types etc... So the lassies i speak to are pretty well educated, sensible types and are not willing to break the lockdown. 🤷😢 That said, I'm meeting Dolly Parton tomorrow 🙈 😂 Nothing worse than an oompa loompa with painted on eyebrows. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Samuel Camazzola Posted May 16, 2020 Share Posted May 16, 2020 27 minutes ago, Cruyff said: Nah, still going fine. I've been speaking to a few lassies. I avoid single mums, chavs, orange bird types etc... So the lassies i speak to are pretty well educated, sensible types and are not willing to break the lockdown. 🤷😢 That said, I'm meeting Dolly Parton tomorrow 🙈 What about the breed Kyle Walker has sniffed out? Willing to breach a lockdown but may cost you. 😂 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cruyff Posted May 16, 2020 Share Posted May 16, 2020 1 hour ago, Space Pirate said: 😂 Nothing worse than an oompa loompa with painted on eyebrows. Absolutely rank. Thankfully, birds dressing up as oompa loompa's was a bit before my time.. 1 hour ago, Samuel Camazzola said: What about the breed Kyle Walker has sniffed out? Willing to breach a lockdown but may cost you. 😂 What, Prozzies? Nah. If i had Kyle Walkers money though, then most guys would i suppose. He can afford 10's on his salary. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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