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Why anyone discusses football on this forum is beyond me. Every contributor on this thread should take a bow. 

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9 hours ago, chester copperpot said:

Ooh am ready, watch ma ***** spit like a chip pan'..........

 

 

Anyone else got the mental image of Mel B from Bo selecta ??? 

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What seems to have slipped under the radar here is that they had their first date at Tesco. :lol:

 

 

Edited by Ray Gin
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Bridge of Djoum
6 minutes ago, Ray Gin said:

What seems to have slipped under the radar here is that they had their first date at Tesco. :lol:

 

 

Well, Lidl is closed at that time of night.

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John Findlay
17 hours ago, chester copperpot said:

Remember one POF story I'd like to share with you before I got together with the current bird.

 

The lass seemed quite nice, had good chat, a decent job and nice motor/house etc so met her for coffee at Tesco Cumbernauld after work one night.

 

She made it clear she was into me (blind I know) and she dropped me off and wanted to come into my house.

 

As I had only just met her and my flat was being done up, had to politely decline as didn't want her doing a runner when she saw where I lived so we had a bit of a snog in the car.

 

The text and phone calls got rather suggestive and she made it pretty clear that she was up for a bit sex, so I played along.

 

2nd date, we went for a drive and I again had to decline the offer to come to mines so she drove to Drumpellier country park and were in a wee quiet bit as it was the back way in. Anyways needless to say things were happening and she confesses to me that she's a bit of a squirter at this point.

 

Now those that know me is that I have a bit of a fetish for these things so was looking forward to it, we get going in her car, didn't wanna have sex with her so just did other stuff. Was looking forward to that point of no return when she did the business...........however as she was about to pop, she says something to me that put me right off and it did then too.

 

'Ooh am ready, watch ma ***** spit like a chip pan'..........

 

You can take the girl out of Bathgate it seems...........

She was thinking. You can take the man out of Coatbridge........

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chester copperpot
7 hours ago, Ray Gin said:

What seems to have slipped under the radar here is that they had their first date at Tesco. :lol:

 

 

 

 

Wasn't a date as such, was working late and she was desperate to meet me :lol:

 

Wait till I tell ye why it never worked out.........

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John Findlay
21 minutes ago, chester copperpot said:

 

 

Wasn't a date as such, was working late and she was desperate to meet me :lol:

 

Wait till I tell ye why it never worked out.........

You don't say:laugh:.

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17 hours ago, chester copperpot said:

 

 

It did indeed. Felt like I was going to be drooned at one point

 

:pleasing:

Hope the electric blanket was turned off or she might have been spitting like a chip pan for real. 

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the general
On 3/30/2018 at 17:19, PTBCAL said:

 That's where I met the Ex wife ?

 

It's well documented here by me of my depression especially over my failed marriage and how I handle apathy at life and increased anxiety.

 

Sometimes I log on POF to see what's happening but it makes me feel worthless and reduces me to self loathing. And actually leads to stress about being on my own at 50 which is crazy as I have young kids but that's how it makes me feel. That's not the site fault or online dating in general but that's how my mind reacts to things like that. 

 

So so while it can work and it did for me 5 years ago I have found that since I was diagnosed  with depression and anxiety it pushes me to a darker place and thus it's not an easy fix for everyone.

 

Sorry if I am rambling but online dating might not work for everyone TBH.

 

 

aw ffs mate    ;-(

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Brick Tamland

Been a lot quieter for me this time round but haven’t plumbed the depths of pof so that may explain it. 

Anyway. 

Bathgate - met for coffee at outlet place in livingston and things went well despite not much going on inside her head. It would also be fair to say she was photogenic, was invited back to hers after chatting for a couple of hours. Impressive snappers but sadly they were enhanced by silicon and just felt wrong, mini Brick wasn’t overly enamoured and after round 1 wasn’t interested. Made my excuses and was back home for 9.00pm. Lessons learned - Bathgate no more, silicon no more. 

Edinburgh - full of high expectations on this one as she looked lovely on her pics. Met at the steadings near the ski slope, she was as wide as she was tall and whilst her face was pretty that was it a beer and I left. Lesson learned - get full body pic before meeting. 

Aberdeen - naughty chat and she has sent some pwopah nawty pics but can’t meet her until the weekend. And no I’m not pm’ing the pics. 

Others in the pipeline...

Fifer - decent chat so far and full body shot looks very good. 

Edinburgh 2 - as above for Fife

Edinburgh 3 - as above for Fife. 

Weej - no full body shot yet, pretty but the lack of full body shot is concerning me. 

 

Updates to follow....

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chester copperpot
13 hours ago, auldy19 said:

 

Anyone else got the mental image of Mel B from Bo selecta ??? 

 

9c3a8e18-8b68-4d0e-8e21-608771d5eeec_625x352.jpg

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  • 3 weeks later...
Салатные палочки

I'll take this opportunity to announce the arrival of perhaps the first Online Dating Thread baby in October of this year.

 

:greggy:

 

Edited by Salad Fingers
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On 03/04/2018 at 11:32, Brick Tamland said:

Been a lot quieter for me this time round but haven’t plumbed the depths of pof so that may explain it. 

Anyway. 

Bathgate - met for coffee at outlet place in livingston and things went well despite not much going on inside her head. It would also be fair to say she was photogenic, was invited back to hers after chatting for a couple of hours. Impressive snappers but sadly they were enhanced by silicon and just felt wrong, mini Brick wasn’t overly enamoured and after round 1 wasn’t interested. Made my excuses and was back home for 9.00pm. Lessons learned - Bathgate no more, silicon no more. 

Edinburgh - full of high expectations on this one as she looked lovely on her pics. Met at the steadings near the ski slope, she was as wide as she was tall and whilst her face was pretty that was it a beer and I left. Lesson learned - get full body pic before meeting. 

Aberdeen - naughty chat and she has sent some pwopah nawty pics but can’t meet her until the weekend. And no I’m not pm’ing the pics. 

Others in the pipeline...

Fifer - decent chat so far and full body shot looks very good. 

Edinburgh 2 - as above for Fife

Edinburgh 3 - as above for Fife. 

Weej - no full body shot yet, pretty but the lack of full body shot is concerning me. 

 

Updates to follow....

 

Tremendous. ?

 

Get their names and straight onto FB to see if they are indeed munters.

 

 

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56 minutes ago, Salad Fingers said:

I'll take this opportunity to announce the arrival of perhaps the first Online Dating Thread baby in October of this year.

 

:greggy:

 

 

:scenes:

 

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1 hour ago, Salad Fingers said:

I'll take this opportunity to announce the arrival of perhaps the first Online Dating Thread baby in October of this year.

 

:greggy:

 

:wow: 

 

:sweeet:

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Made the mistake of humping a online lady on a Friday morning a few years back at my horrible rented flat at Colnton Mains.

 

Without any warning she squirted all over the bed..... my first experience of it and not one I enjoyed being honest.

 

To make things worse I was using the kids bed as it was a double. ?

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Bunny Munro
On 03/04/2018 at 00:05, Ray Gin said:

What seems to have slipped under the radar here is that they had their first date at Tesco. :lol:

 

 

Jarvis Cocker style.

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12 hours ago, Salad Fingers said:

I'll take this opportunity to announce the arrival of perhaps the first Online Dating Thread baby in October of this year.

 

:greggy:

 

 

Congratulations! 

 

Obviously Kickback’s collective wisdom, knowledge and experience on this subject guided and assisted you with this endeavour.  If you need any advice or suggestions for names you know where to come :ph34r:

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Samuel Camazzola
18 hours ago, Salad Fingers said:

I'll take this opportunity to announce the arrival of perhaps the first Online Dating Thread baby in October of this year.

 

:greggy:

 

There's more than a steak pie in the oven... 

 

Congratulations! 

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  • 2 months later...
4 minutes ago, Simo said:

Busy all day today (not with online dating :lol:) but updates to follow tomorrow... 

 

Mods.....bin this tease.....

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I can't wait for the latest story..

 

I've recently become single.. and in a new area.. I say new area i've moved to England..

 

So i'm embarking on this adventure and I look forward to sharing my experience with everyone,

 

 

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adambraejambo

So many scary stories from online sites
Sitting in this girls flat and she gets the cooker lighter out from her side of the sofa and starts singing her hair .
The girl who I agree to meet in the Rutland (1st date)  on a Thursday at 2pm and she turns up so drunk she refused entry lol
The girl who I had been talking with for weeks on line and phone calls who seemed perfect.  I'm 6ft4 and she said she was 5ft 10 . She said that was the only lie she told me when we met trying to defend herself.....she was 4ft8
The girl Canadian girl I met on online who was over here for a year studying . She failed to tell me she had a bf already. A bf who was a alcoholic . A bf who was the lead singer In what used to be  one of the top UK bands. A bf who she told she was leaving him for me ...I still never know she had a bf at this point  . All came to a head when  he turned up at my flat trying to break door down. I prob best not name him but it  was such a shame as this Canadian girl was a perfect 10 !!

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48 minutes ago, adambraejambo said:

So many scary stories from online sites
Sitting in this girls flat and she gets the cooker lighter out from her side of the sofa and starts singing her hair .
The girl who I agree to meet in the Rutland (1st date)  on a Thursday at 2pm and she turns up so drunk she refused entry lol
The girl who I had been talking with for weeks on line and phone calls who seemed perfect.  I'm 6ft4 and she said she was 5ft 10 . She said that was the only lie she told me when we met trying to defend herself.....she was 4ft8
The girl Canadian girl I met on online who was over here for a year studying . She failed to tell me she had a bf already. A bf who was a alcoholic . A bf who was the lead singer In what used to be  one of the top UK bands. A bf who she told she was leaving him for me ...I still never know she had a bf at this point  . All came to a head when  he turned up at my flat trying to break door down. I prob best not name him but it  was such a shame as this Canadian girl was a perfect 10 !!

 

You horrible *******. Bet he loved her from the bottom of his pencil case!

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8 hours ago, Van Wilder said:

I can't wait for the latest story..

 

I've recently become single.. and in a new area.. I say new area i've moved to England..

 

So i'm embarking on this adventure and I look forward to sharing my experience with everyone,

 

 

 

Assuming you're Scottish then get a picture of yourself all scrubbed up in a kilt and play the "I'm new and need someone to show me around..." card and it's literally like shooting fish in a barrel... Speaking from experience ;)

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This thread has given me some great laughs… So now that I’ve been in the game myself I figure it’s only fair I share some experiences!

 

Broke up with my fiancé (mutually and still good friends) at the start of December last year but was with her for just over 6 years - I’m 29 and Tinder wasn’t even a thing yet last time I was single! So the whole online dating thing was completely new to me…

 

Crumbled to peer pressure and downloaded Tinder at about 5am on Hogmanay - mainly for my mates amusement at a house party… Got a bit of banter with a few girls but never actually ended up meeting any of them cause I was living down in Newcastle at the time.

 

That was when I discovered Bumble…

 

Not sure if it’s because the girl has to message first or as I’ve mentioned the whole “I’m ‘foreign’ (One of my pics was me kilted up) need someone to show me around…”  chat being an easy in but it was literally like shooting fish in a barrel – Girls would give me their numbers without even asking and ask me out first etc. All the dates with minimal effort :pleasing:

This was at the start of the year so a while ago now but I'll try and remember some for your amusement!

 

Veggie – Matched with a 35 year old veggie… she looked about my age in the photos so I was slightly sceptical how recent the pictures were but thought what the hell.

 

Met her for coffee one Sunday and was pleasantly surprised she looked as advertised! Would have put her closer to 25 than 35 if I hadn’t known. Anyway went well and we ended up going out quite a few more times before breaking it off cause she was looking for something more serious. Nice girl and stayed friendly, occasionally still chat now I’m back up here. Face was "cute but avergae" if that makes sense... Great body though and I can confirm she’s had meat this year… :greggy:

Geordie1 – Had a bit of banter and she basically said she was only after one thing… Be rude to say no :clyay:

Had some normal and some xrated chat for a few days and then she ended up texting me about 1am on a Saturday when she was out in town... Coincidentally I was playing cash at the casino and had the car so ended up picking her up and we went back to mine. She came round (sober) the next night too, fun was had… and then we literally never spoke again :rofl:

 

Ginger – Matched with a gorgeous ginger, literally 9/10 and way out of my league… She hits me with the old “I wanna be your tour guide” chat and by coincidence the only night both of us are free was the next day. Probably the quickest I’ve ever gone from matching to meeting but yolo and all that.

 

Agree to meet at a bar near the quayside and I’m slightly concerned I’m being catfished… Thankfully not and she looks just as good in person! Proceed to have probably the most fun first date I’ve ever had. The chat’s flowing and she’s just a really nice girl, got stuff in common etc. This was just at the start of the amazing weather so stroll along the quayside in the sun and go to a couple more bars. Closing time comes at midnight or so and we’re both working the next day… Should probably head home … Decide to go to a club for £1.50 Jaegerbombs and are probably the 2 oldest people there by a good 6 or 7 years. Pretty sure it was student night… Anyway really random and unexpected but fun night and got home about 4am with work in the morning which was less fun!

 

Agreed we’d meet up again but she was off to Italy for 2 weeks the following day and then I was going on holiday just as she got back so just never happened and lost touch over that time. Ah well!

 

Had a few more uneventful dates down there but tbh despite I’d say I’m fairly shy I’ve found I’ve had more success in “real life” just meeting girls in bars/clubs!

 

Been using Tinder more since I came back up here but I need to rush out now so I’ll try and think if there’s any decent stories to share later. TBH though the worst dates I’ve had have just been with nice enough girls but where it was just obvious right away there was no spark. Afraid I don’t have any stories of being catfished, having my organs harvested or babies to entertain you all with... Sorry :berra:

 

 

Edited by Simo
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Samuel Camazzola
3 hours ago, adambraejambo said:

So many scary stories from online sites
Sitting in this girls flat and she gets the cooker lighter out from her side of the sofa and starts singing her hair .
The girl who I agree to meet in the Rutland (1st date)  on a Thursday at 2pm and she turns up so drunk she refused entry lol
The girl who I had been talking with for weeks on line and phone calls who seemed perfect.  I'm 6ft4 and she said she was 5ft 10 . She said that was the only lie she told me when we met trying to defend herself.....she was 4ft8
The girl Canadian girl I met on online who was over here for a year studying . She failed to tell me she had a bf already. A bf who was a alcoholic . A bf who was the lead singer In what used to be  one of the top UK bands. A bf who she told she was leaving him for me ...I still never know she had a bf at this point  . All came to a head when  he turned up at my flat trying to break door down. I prob best not name him but it  was such a shame as this Canadian girl was a perfect 10 !!

4ft 8! :laugh:

 

What genre of music was the lead singer's band? (So we can guess who they are) 

Edited by Samuel Camazzola
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Samuel Camazzola
3 minutes ago, Barack said:

 

 

:tlj:

 

 

You struggling?

I'm thinking someone more local and younger. 

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adambraejambo
1 hour ago, Samuel Camazzola said:

I'm thinking someone more local and younger. 

I really don't want to name him or give any real clue away....give me "a little time ".and I will think about it last thing I want is "everybody's  talking" about it on here 

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Samuel Camazzola
2 minutes ago, adambraejambo said:

I really don't want to name him or give any real clue away....give me "a little time ".and I will think about it last thing I want is "everybody's  talking" about it on here 

? I thought it was someone else and didn't realise he was a drinker. 

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John Findlay
2 hours ago, adambraejambo said:

I really don't want to name him or give any real clue away....give me "a little time ".and I will think about it last thing I want is "everybody's  talking" about it on here 

Does his brother play in goals for Burnley and England?:laugh:.

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Toxteth O'Grady
3 hours ago, adambraejambo said:

I really don't want to name him or give any real clue away....give me "a little time ".and I will think about it last thing I want is "everybody's  talking" about it on here 

Did you have a happy hour with her?

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1 hour ago, Toxteth O'Grady said:

Did you have a happy hour with her?

 

1 hour ago, Toxteth O'Grady said:
  4 hours ago, adambraejambo said:

I really don't want to name him or give any real clue away....give me "a little time ".and I will think about it last thing I want is "everybody's  talking" about it on here 

 

Please tell me this all happened in a caravan......PLEASE!

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1 hour ago, Der Kaiser said:

 

 

Please tell me this all happened in a caravan......PLEASE!

 

It did happen in a caravan. In Rotterdam no less.

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Maroon Sailor

We should put the heat on adambraejambo to come out with the name before he sails his ship away

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The_razors_edge
20 hours ago, adambraejambo said:

I really don't want to name him or give any real clue away....give me "a little time ".and I will think about it last thing I want is "everybody's  talking" about it on here 

 

whatever you do mate, Don't marry her :lol:

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adambraejambo
6 minutes ago, The_razors_edge said:

 

whatever you do mate, Don't marry her :lol:

haha yeah i'll sail this ship alone 

Edited by adambraejambo
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Samuel Camazzola
3 hours ago, adambraejambo said:

haha yeah i'll sail this ship alone 

If she has gone back to Canada, you'll be safe to name her now. Jennifer? Alison,? Phillipa? Sue? 

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Samuel Camazzola
3 hours ago, adambraejambo said:

haha yeah i'll sail this ship alone 

If she has gone back to Canada, you'll be safe to name her now. Jennifer? Alison,? Phillipa? Sue? 

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So I find myself back in the game . Apps are in full swing on the phone !  

My biggest problem is I don’t know if I can be arsed actually dating these women . Don’t think I want a permanent one either ! It’s a lot of effort! Anyone else find this ? 

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1 minute ago, auldy19 said:

So I find myself back in the game . Apps are in full swing on the phone !  

My biggest problem is I don’t know if I can be arsed actually dating these women . Don’t think I want a permanent one either ! It’s a lot of effort! Anyone else find this ? 

Yes, as soon as I was married! 

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Date with a rather dirty looking, tattooed beauty of Greek descent last night, at a dive bar here in Arizona.

 

All the pics she put up were pre-the three stone she's put on.

 

F*** off

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3 hours ago, Justin Z said:

Date with a rather dirty looking, tattooed beauty of Greek descent last night, at a dive bar here in Arizona.

 

All the pics she put up were pre-the three stone she's put on.

 

F*** off

 

Haha but did you still plumb it ??

 

what part of Arizona ?

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5 hours ago, auldy19 said:

 

Haha but did you still plumb it ??

 

what part of Arizona ?

 

No, somehow I have gained some self respect in my later years :lol:

 

The Phoenix metro area.

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Samuel Camazzola
13 hours ago, Justin Z said:

Date with a rather dirty looking, tattooed beauty of Greek descent last night, at a dive bar here in Arizona.

 

All the pics she put up were pre-the three stone she's put on.

 

F*** off

The David Brent suggestion needs to be adopted where pictures should include them holding a copy of a current newspaper. 

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On 30/07/2018 at 01:58, Justin Z said:

 

No, somehow I have gained some self respect in my later years :lol:

 

The Phoenix metro area.

 

Hahaha I admire your self restraint ! 

 

I did some damage in Tucson many years ago . Only had to open my mouth and let the accent flow ! Birds were seeking us out  for a chat ! 

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