robbo1874 Posted August 3, 2016 Share Posted August 3, 2016 Mr Fingers have you not tried Tinder. At least when you get a match there is obviously a connection to start from! Better than PoF IMO. Mind that was a couple of years ago now. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sawdust Caesar Posted August 3, 2016 Share Posted August 3, 2016 Think of the dirtiest, most depraved, downright filthiest and nastiest sexual fantasy you have, ask her if she would do it with you. She will either run for the hills and never contact you again or she will do it with you but be so ashamed of herself she will cut off all contact with you, either way it's a win/win. Unless she ends up loving it, then you're ****ed, both ends up. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Салатные палочки Posted August 3, 2016 Author Share Posted August 3, 2016 Mr Fingers have you not tried Tinder. At least when you get a match there is obviously a connection to start from! Better than PoF IMO. Mind that was a couple of years ago now. Do you need Facebook for that? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Morgan Posted August 3, 2016 Share Posted August 3, 2016 (edited) Think of the dirtiest, most depraved, downright filthiest and nastiest sexual fantasy you have, ask her if she would do it with you. She will either run for the hills and never contact you again or she will do it with you but be so ashamed of herself she will cut off all contact with you, either way it's a win/win. Unless she ends up loving it, then you're ######, both ends up.Both ends up These three words are what you took three lines to write. Edited August 3, 2016 by Morgan Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sawdust Caesar Posted August 3, 2016 Share Posted August 3, 2016 Both ends up These three words are what you took three lines to write. I'm not sure what you're getting at. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Section Q Posted August 3, 2016 Share Posted August 3, 2016 (edited) Need some advice lads and lassies. Been single for about a year now. Between having the kids every Friday and every second Friday/Saturday I have found it difficult to get out there and meet a woman. Anyway I thought I would give online dating a try (nothing fancy, I'm not paying for it yet). Anyway after about a month of talking to some nice and some not so nice girls one in particular messaged me. She was pretty much bang on, nice girl, nice photo, great patter and banter. Anyway what worried me was that she only had one picture. So we continued to chat and I gave her my number. Everything was going well, a little too well and she sent me another picture of her at a party. However it was a screen shot from Facebook and I seen the date at the top, 2011. Continued to chat in the hope that she still resembled that. Then she hit me with he picture from last week of her on holiday, of her and her dad. Now I could have sworn she sent me a picture of her parents. She looked terrible, nothing compared to her profile picture. the problem is now that I don't fancy her. However she has cracking patter and the chat between us is top notch. I'm not the kind of guy to go for a girl based on looks alone but this is taking the piss. I also am not an oil painting myself but I'm still fairly young and I would say handsome enough (just) to do a lot better. Now my question is how to I let her down gently cos I now don't want to meet her. Sent from my SM-A310F using Tapatalk Sue her for misrepresentation. Edited August 3, 2016 by Section Q Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Auld Reekin' Posted August 3, 2016 Share Posted August 3, 2016 I'm not sure what you're getting at. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Morgan Posted August 3, 2016 Share Posted August 3, 2016 I'm not sure what you're getting at. It was just a wee joke. No offence intended I assure you. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sawdust Caesar Posted August 3, 2016 Share Posted August 3, 2016 It was just a wee joke. No offence intended I assure you. None taken, mate. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Morgan Posted August 3, 2016 Share Posted August 3, 2016 None taken, mate. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Straightfromtheheart Posted August 6, 2016 Share Posted August 6, 2016 Are you having the steak pie tonight salad fingers? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dawnrazor Posted August 6, 2016 Share Posted August 6, 2016 Are you having the steak pie tonight salad fingers? He'll be hoping to get fishy fingers rather than the steak pie! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Morgan Posted August 6, 2016 Share Posted August 6, 2016 He'll be hoping to get fishy fingers rather than the steak pie! plus Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dawnrazor Posted August 6, 2016 Share Posted August 6, 2016 plus Thank you!! Don't think I've had two faces before, I'm getting better all the time!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
IronJambo Posted August 6, 2016 Share Posted August 6, 2016 Apparently he's skipping the salad and main, and going straight to dessert. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Салатные палочки Posted August 6, 2016 Author Share Posted August 6, 2016 Apparently he's skipping the salad and main, and going straight to dessert. Going on her conversations I would say she would be more into the middle one Sent from my SM-A310F using Tapatalk Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dawnrazor Posted August 6, 2016 Share Posted August 6, 2016 I had a picture on this very topic, it on the lines of : The shocker The stocker The........i can't remember them all but it went along the lines of various fingers in various places!!! Have to see if I can find it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Morgan Posted August 6, 2016 Share Posted August 6, 2016 I had a picture on this very topic, it on the lines of : The shocker The stocker The........i can't remember them all but it went along the lines of various fingers in various places!!! Have to see if I can find it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Morgan Posted August 6, 2016 Share Posted August 6, 2016 Thank you!! Don't think I've had two faces before, I'm getting better all the time!! Welcome You are more than 'getting better' - you are the top Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dawnrazor Posted August 6, 2016 Share Posted August 6, 2016 Just one face? I must try harder!!! I'm sure, if gave it some effort, you could find the picture I'm on about!! That could be your homework for tonight!!!Wright out 100 times- I must find the picture of fingers in holes that Dawnrazor can't find!!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Morgan Posted August 6, 2016 Share Posted August 6, 2016 Just one face? I must try harder!!! I'm sure, if gave it some effort, you could find the picture I'm on about!! That could be your homework for tonight!!! Wright out 100 times- I must find the picture of fingers in holes that Dawnrazor can't find!!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lancashire_Lou Posted August 9, 2016 Share Posted August 9, 2016 After a few disasters I've deactivated everything for a while. Including my sex life. Jesus wept. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tazio Posted August 9, 2016 Share Posted August 9, 2016 Decided that the best way forward for a girl that I work with on her Tinder was to send some messages to matches she had when we were a bit pissed last night. She thought this was quite funny as we were sending messages asking for more "intimate details". This morning less show when she woke up to loads of filthy messages and dick pictures. Oops. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Morgan Posted August 9, 2016 Share Posted August 9, 2016 Decided that the best way forward for a girl that I work with on her Tinder was to send some messages to matches she had when we were a bit pissed last night. She thought this was quite funny as we were sending messages asking for more "intimate details". This morning less show when she woke up to loads of filthy messages and dick pictures. Oops. Ye didnae did ye? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chuck berrys hairline Posted August 9, 2016 Share Posted August 9, 2016 After a few disasters I've deactivated everything for a while. Including my sex life. Jesus wept. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jamie1874 Posted August 9, 2016 Share Posted August 9, 2016 Decided that the best way forward for a girl that I work with on her Tinder was to send some messages to matches she had when we were a bit pissed last night. She thought this was quite funny as we were sending messages asking for more "intimate details". This morning less show when she woke up to loads of filthy messages and dick pictures. Oops. 'Play' tinder quite often on nights out with male and female mates, always a good laugh. My personal favourite when using a tinder of a reasonably good looking female colleagues was matching someone, him then messaging her straight away and me replying to say sorry for swiping the wrong way! He still replied it was nice to chat anyway. Poor guy! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rudi-Robertson Posted August 9, 2016 Share Posted August 9, 2016 Need some advice lads and lassies. Been single for about a year now. Between having the kids every Friday and every second Friday/Saturday I have found it difficult to get out there and meet a woman. Anyway I thought I would give online dating a try (nothing fancy, I'm not paying for it yet). Anyway after about a month of talking to some nice and some not so nice girls one in particular messaged me. She was pretty much bang on, nice girl, nice photo, great patter and banter. Anyway what worried me was that she only had one picture. So we continued to chat and I gave her my number. Everything was going well, a little too well and she sent me another picture of her at a party. However it was a screen shot from Facebook and I seen the date at the top, 2011. Continued to chat in the hope that she still resembled that. Then she hit me with he picture from last week of her on holiday, of her and her dad. Now I could have sworn she sent me a picture of her parents. She looked terrible, nothing compared to her profile picture. the problem is now that I don't fancy her. However she has cracking patter and the chat between us is top notch. I'm not the kind of guy to go for a girl based on looks alone but this is taking the piss. I also am not an oil painting myself but I'm still fairly young and I would say handsome enough (just) to do a lot better. Now my question is how to I let her down gently cos I now don't want to meet her. Sent from my SM-A310F using Tapatalk Get it pumped Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tazio Posted August 9, 2016 Share Posted August 9, 2016 Get it pumped It? You really do have a low opinion of women. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rudi-Robertson Posted August 9, 2016 Share Posted August 9, 2016 It? You really do have a low opinion of women. ^^^^ This is what a feminist reads like Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tazio Posted August 9, 2016 Share Posted August 9, 2016 ^^^^ This is what a feminist reads like ^^^^^^^^ This is a misogynist. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rudi-Robertson Posted August 10, 2016 Share Posted August 10, 2016 ^^^^^^^^ This is a misogynist. You better believe it boy Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Салатные палочки Posted August 10, 2016 Author Share Posted August 10, 2016 Bit of an update. Steak pie burd messaged me over the weekend asking if I had met someone. I said I hadn't yet, but I was planning to meet someone tonight (which is true). She asked why I hadn't been truthful with her from the start Just my luck when I decided to meet this girl tonight, who is really nice, this cool Mod bursd I was talking to on Tinder the other week decided to message me last night. I think she might have been a bit too cool for me though. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
southcap Posted August 10, 2016 Share Posted August 10, 2016 Bit of an update. Steak pie burd messaged me over the weekend asking if I had met someone. I said I hadn't yet, but I was planning to meet someone tonight (which is true). She asked why I hadn't been truthful with her from the start Just my luck when I decided to meet this girl tonight, who is really nice, this cool Mod bursd I was talking to on Tinder the other week decided to message me last night. I think she might have been a bit too cool for me though. And you haven't told her to bolt yet why? I had sympathy for you before, now you just come across desperate and pathetic. Just the facts. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Салатные палочки Posted August 10, 2016 Author Share Posted August 10, 2016 And you haven't told her to bolt yet why? I had sympathy for you before, now you just come across desperate and pathetic. Just the facts. bit harsh. I hadn't told her to 'bolt' yet as you so eloquently put it, rather preferring just not to text her. She couldn't take the hint obviously. I'm far from desperate mate and I'm certainly not pathetic. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
iantjambo Posted August 10, 2016 Share Posted August 10, 2016 And you haven't told her to bolt yet why? I had sympathy for you before, now you just come across desperate and pathetic. Just the facts. Ouch that's a bit harsh Are you angry that the steak pie went to waste? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
southcap Posted August 10, 2016 Share Posted August 10, 2016 bit harsh. I hadn't told her to 'bolt' yet as you so eloquently put it, rather preferring just not to text her. She couldn't take the hint obviously. I'm far from desperate mate and I'm certainly not pathetic. No sure why you are even bothering to entertain her then. She deserves contempt. Ouch that's a bit harsh Are you angry that the steak pie went to waste? People letting a free ride and a free steak pie go to waste does slightly annoy me I guess. Apologies to the OP. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jambo316 Posted August 10, 2016 Share Posted August 10, 2016 Ouch that's a bit harsh Are you angry that the steak pie went to waste? Maybe as predicted before its the Bursd in question reading the thread now replying to it as can't contain herself? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
John mcCartney Posted August 10, 2016 Share Posted August 10, 2016 No sure why you are even bothering to entertain her then. She deserves contempt. People letting a free ride and a free steak pie go to waste does slightly annoy me I guess. Apologies to the OP. hehe Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Maroon Sailor Posted August 10, 2016 Share Posted August 10, 2016 Is this the steak pie girl ? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Maroon Sailor Posted August 10, 2016 Share Posted August 10, 2016 By the way Salad what is your favourite Bond film ? For your pies only ? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
EreWeG0.. Posted August 10, 2016 Share Posted August 10, 2016 By the way Salad what is your favourite Bond film ? For your pies only ? It's not octopussy.. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jambo316 Posted August 10, 2016 Share Posted August 10, 2016 By the way Salad what is your favourite Bond film ? For your pies only ? I heard its the man with the golden pie. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Салатные палочки Posted August 10, 2016 Author Share Posted August 10, 2016 It's not octopussy.. octogenarian pussy judging by the picture she sent me Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ryan Jarman Posted August 10, 2016 Share Posted August 10, 2016 (edited) The Pie Who Loved Me or Pie Another Day Edited August 10, 2016 by Ryan Jarman Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Morgan Posted August 10, 2016 Share Posted August 10, 2016 Gashino Royale Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dia Liom Posted August 10, 2016 Share Posted August 10, 2016 (edited) ?On her majesty's secret pie ? Seriously though, funny thread. Is it common for folk to be texting back and forth to strangers as a way of getting a date/finding a relationship? If so, Jesus.. the world has passed me by. Edited August 10, 2016 by Dia Liom Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Boris Posted August 10, 2016 Share Posted August 10, 2016 octogenarian pussy judging by the picture she sent me Brilliant! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Maroon Sailor Posted August 10, 2016 Share Posted August 10, 2016 The Pie Who Loved Me or Pie Another Day In Salad's case it's more like Tomorrow Never Pies Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hansel Posted August 10, 2016 Share Posted August 10, 2016 Live and let pie Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hansel Posted August 10, 2016 Share Posted August 10, 2016 Pie another day? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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