RobNox Posted Monday at 02:13 Share Posted Monday at 02:13 10 hours ago, Morgan said: Did you make that one up yourself, Rudi? He makes all of them up himself. You've got to love a trier and the thread is about crap jokes, so Rudi is more than doing his bit. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
superjack Posted 5 hours ago Share Posted 5 hours ago A guy walks into a restaurant and wants to eat squid. He calls the waiter over, whose name is Yervaise, and says 'I want that squid there', pointing at a little green squid with a hairy moustache on its top lip. Yervaise says, 'but that's my favourite, I don't want to kill it, it's so mild and friendly'. But the customer is insistent, so Yervaise goes over to the tank, pulls out the squid and lays it on the worktop. He raises a knife and is about to chop it up, but he can't. Yervaise goes back to the customer, and says he can't kill it, but the customer still insists that he wants to eat it. Yervaise has an idea, and says 'OK, I'll go and get Hans, our dishwasher, he's a tough guy, he'll be able to kill it'. He goes and gets Hans, and Hans takes the knife and is about to chop the squid up, when it looks up. Hans sees its mild little face and its hairy lip and he can't kill it either, so they both go and tell the customer that they're really sorry and he can't eat it. The moral of the story?... .. Hans that does dishes is as soft as Yervaise with mild green hairy lip squid. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jim_Duncan Posted 2 hours ago Share Posted 2 hours ago 3 hours ago, superjack said: A guy walks into a restaurant and wants to eat squid. He calls the waiter over, whose name is Yervaise, and says 'I want that squid there', pointing at a little green squid with a hairy moustache on its top lip. Yervaise says, 'but that's my favourite, I don't want to kill it, it's so mild and friendly'. But the customer is insistent, so Yervaise goes over to the tank, pulls out the squid and lays it on the worktop. He raises a knife and is about to chop it up, but he can't. Yervaise goes back to the customer, and says he can't kill it, but the customer still insists that he wants to eat it. Yervaise has an idea, and says 'OK, I'll go and get Hans, our dishwasher, he's a tough guy, he'll be able to kill it'. He goes and gets Hans, and Hans takes the knife and is about to chop the squid up, when it looks up. Hans sees its mild little face and its hairy lip and he can't kill it either, so they both go and tell the customer that they're really sorry and he can't eat it. The moral of the story?... .. Hans that does dishes is as soft as Yervaise with mild green hairy lip squid. On a similar theme… ”Class, can you give me a sentence with the word ‘judicious’ in it, please?” ”Miss!” ”Yes, little Johnny?” ”Hands that judicious can be as soft as your face, with mild green Fairy liquid.” Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ulysses Posted 1 hour ago Share Posted 1 hour ago 6 minutes ago, Jim_Duncan said: On a similar theme… ”Class, can you give me a sentence with the word ‘judicious’ in it, please?” ”Miss!” ”Yes, little Johnny?” ”Hands that judicious can be as soft as your face, with mild green Fairy liquid.” On a slightly tangential theme… ”Class, can you give me a sentence with the word ‘contagious’ in it, please?” ”Miss!” ”Yes, little Johnny?” ”I was nearly late for school. I couldn't brush my teeth because my brother was in the bathroom going to the toilet, and it took the contagious to finish.” Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jim_Duncan Posted 1 hour ago Share Posted 1 hour ago 2 minutes ago, Ulysses said: On a slightly tangential theme… ”Class, can you give me a sentence with the word ‘contagious’ in it, please?” ”Miss!” ”Yes, little Johnny?” ”I was nearly late for school. I couldn't brush my teeth because my brother was in the bathroom going to the toilet, and it took the contagious to finish.” 😁 Spoiler Declined to report you for breaking rule 4 😜 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ulysses Posted 1 hour ago Share Posted 1 hour ago 1 minute ago, Jim_Duncan said: 😁 Reveal hidden contents Declined to report you for breaking rule 4 😜 A work colleague of mine went to a Christian Brothers school in Dublin city centre - the same place where James Joyce and Stephen Elliott went to school, as it happens. Anyway, he's a rugby fanatic, and I asked him if he got his interest in the game at school. "Jaysus, no, you'd be in trouble for playing rugby in them days. It was Gaelic football all the way in that school - from the minute you were off the priest's knee." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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