narre Posted March 30, 2022 Share Posted March 30, 2022 At age 12, I was blessed with a nine inch penis... And three years later, that priest went to prison! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
highlandjambo3 Posted March 31, 2022 Share Posted March 31, 2022 Not a joke but funny none the less: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
highlandjambo3 Posted March 31, 2022 Share Posted March 31, 2022 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
superjack Posted March 31, 2022 Share Posted March 31, 2022 The 1st Affair A married man was having an affair with his secretary. One day they went to her place and made love all afternoon. Exhausted, they fell asleep and woke up at 8 PM. The man hurriedly dressed and told his lover to take his shoes outside and rub them in the grass and dirt. He put on his shoes and drove home. 'Where have you been?' his wife demanded. 'I can't lie to you,' he replied, 'I'm having an affair with my secretary. We had sex all afternoon.' She looked down at his shoes and said 'You lying b@stard! You've been playing golf!' The 2nd Affair A middle-aged couple had two beautiful daughters but always talked about having a son. They decided to try one last time for the son they always wanted. The wife got pregnant and delivered a healthy baby boy. The joyful father rushed to the nursery to see his new son. He was horrified at the ugliest child he had ever seen. He told his wife: 'There's no way I can be the father of this baby. Look at the two beautiful daughters I fathered! Have you been fooling around behind my back?' The wife smiled sweetly and replied: 'No, not this time!' The 3rd Affair A coroner was working late one night. He examined the body of Mr. Schwartz, about to be cremated, and made a startling discovery. Schwartz had the largest private part he had ever seen! 'I'm sorry Mr. Schwartz,' the coroner commented, 'I can't allow you to be cremated with such an impressive private part. It must be saved for posterity.' So, he removed it, stuffed it into his briefcase, and took it home. 'I have something to show you won't believe,' he said to his wife, opening his briefcase. 'My God!' the wife exclaimed, 'Schwartz is dead!' The 4th Affair A woman was in bed with her lover when she heard her husband opening the front door. 'Hurry,' she said, 'stand in the corner.' She rubbed baby oil all over him, then dusted him with talcum powder. 'Don't move until I tell you,' she said. 'Pretend you're a statue.' 'What's this?' the husband inquired as he entered the room. 'Oh it's a statue,' she replied. 'The Smiths bought one and I liked it so I got one for us, too.' No more was said, not even when they went to bed. Around 2 AM the husband got up, went to the kitchen and returned with a sandwich and a beer. 'Here,' he said to the statue, 'have this. I stood like that for two days at the Smiths and nobody offered me a damned thing.' The 5th Affair A man walked into a cafe, went to the bar and ordered a beer. 'Certainly, Sir, that'll be ten pence.' 'Ten pence?' the man exclaimed. He glanced at the menu and asked: 'How much for a nice juicy steak and a bottle of wine?' 'Twenty, pence' the barman replied. 'Twenty pence?' exclaimed the man. 'Where's the guy who owns this place?' The bartender replied: 'Upstairs, with my wife.' The man asked: 'What's he doing upstairs with your wife?' The bartender replied: 'The same thing I'm doing to his business down here.' The 6th & Best Affair Jake was dying. His wife sat at the bedside. He looked up and said weakly: 'I have something I must confess.' 'There's no need to, 'his wife replied. 'No,' he insisted, 'I want to die in peace. I slept with your sister, your best friend, her best friend, and your mother!' 'I know,' she replied. 'Now just rest and let the poison work.' Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Unknown user Posted April 6, 2022 Author Share Posted April 6, 2022 On 30/03/2022 at 05:25, narre said: At age 12, I was blessed with a nine inch penis... And three years later, that priest went to prison! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Unknown user Posted April 6, 2022 Author Share Posted April 6, 2022 I found a grey pube yesterday Really put me off my Big Mac. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
A Boy Named Crow Posted April 7, 2022 Share Posted April 7, 2022 On 06/04/2022 at 21:08, Smithee said: I found a grey pube yesterday Nearly put me off my Big Mac. Amirite? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Unknown user Posted April 7, 2022 Author Share Posted April 7, 2022 15 minutes ago, A Boy Named Crow said: Amirite? I didn't say I stopped eating, I've found worse between my teeth after a night on the skite Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
A Boy Named Crow Posted April 7, 2022 Share Posted April 7, 2022 (edited) 4 minutes ago, Smithee said: I didn't say I stopped eating, I've found worse between my teeth after a night on the skite Edited April 7, 2022 by A Boy Named Crow Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
superjack Posted April 8, 2022 Share Posted April 8, 2022 A man walks into Ann Summers to purchase some see-through lingerie for his wife. He is shown several possibilities that range from £50 to £750 in price, the more see-through, the higher the price. He opts for the sheerest item, pays the £750 and takes the lingerie home. He presents it to his wife and asks her to go upstairs, put it on and model it for him. Upstairs the wife thinks 'I have an idea. It's so see-through that it might as well be nothing. I won't put it on - do the modelling naked - return it tomorrow, get a refund and keep the money for myself.' So she appears naked at the top of the stairs and strikes a pose. The husband says 'effing hell, they weren't that creased in the shop'.. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Angel eyes Posted April 10, 2022 Share Posted April 10, 2022 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rudi must stay Posted April 12, 2022 Share Posted April 12, 2022 Who built the ark? Moses Oops wrong thread Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Morgan Posted April 12, 2022 Share Posted April 12, 2022 3 hours ago, rudi must stay said: Who built the ark? Moses Oops wrong thread Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rudi must stay Posted April 12, 2022 Share Posted April 12, 2022 1 hour ago, Morgan said: Posted that in the wrong thread Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Morgan Posted April 12, 2022 Share Posted April 12, 2022 2 minutes ago, rudi must stay said: Posted that in the wrong thread What thread was it intended for? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rudi must stay Posted April 12, 2022 Share Posted April 12, 2022 39 minutes ago, Morgan said: What thread was it intended for? To be honest it's my humour an attempt to cheer myself up and it did for a few minutes Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Morgan Posted April 12, 2022 Share Posted April 12, 2022 13 minutes ago, rudi must stay said: To be honest it's my humour an attempt to cheer myself up and it did for a few minutes Well, if it worked for you, I'm pleased. 👍 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
superjack Posted April 12, 2022 Share Posted April 12, 2022 Charlie was installing a new door and found that one of the hinges was missing. He asked his wife Marie if she would go to B&Q to pick up a hinge and she agreed to go. While she was waiting for the manager to finish serving a customer she noticed a beautiful bathroom tap. When the manager was finished Marie asked him, "how much is that bath tap?" The manager replied, "That's a gold plated bath tap and the price is £195.00. Marie exclaimed, "My goodness, that is a very expensive tap and certainly out of my price bracket." She then proceeded to describe the hinge that Charlie had sent her to buy. The manager said that he had them in stock and went into the storeroom to get one. From the storeroom the manager yelled "Ma'am, do you wanna screw for the hinge?" She paused for a moment and then shouted back, "No, but I will for the bath tap." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rudi must stay Posted April 13, 2022 Share Posted April 13, 2022 Which musician has a Zimmer frame? Hans Zimmer Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cheetah Posted April 13, 2022 Share Posted April 13, 2022 Which artist has a table? Brian Table Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
redjambo Posted April 14, 2022 Share Posted April 14, 2022 On 13/04/2022 at 16:34, jonesy said: Which scientist is mad about the boabie? Brian Cox. Which footballer was inducted into the Hall of Fame? Thierry Henry. Am I doing this right? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
superjack Posted April 19, 2022 Share Posted April 19, 2022 Woman in coma A woman was in a coma for months. Nurses were in her room giving her a blanket bath. One of them was washing her private area and noticed that there was a slight response on the monitor when she touched her. They tried again, and noticed a sizeable movement. They went to her husband and explained what had happened, telling him, "As inappropriate as this sounds, it may be that a little gentle oral sex will do the trick and bring her out of the coma." The husband was sceptical, but they assured him that they'd close the curtains for privacy. The husband finally agreed and went into his wife's room. A few moments later, the woman's monitor flat-lined - no pulse, no heart rate. The nurses ran back into the room. "What happened?"! they cried. The husband said, "I'm not sure. Maybe she choked?" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Morgan Posted April 19, 2022 Share Posted April 19, 2022 On 13/04/2022 at 16:46, rudi must stay said: Which musician has a Zimmer frame? Hans Zimmer Which pop star had a 'Bowie' hairstyle? Elton John. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RobNox Posted April 22, 2022 Share Posted April 22, 2022 On 13/04/2022 at 15:46, rudi must stay said: Which musician has a Zimmer frame? Hans Zimmer and Robert Zimmerman Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RobNox Posted April 22, 2022 Share Posted April 22, 2022 Which of the Sex Pistols was the best Cook? Glen Matlock I think, could be wrong though Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Morgan Posted April 22, 2022 Share Posted April 22, 2022 Which TV Chef had a series called Floyd around the Med? Jamie Oliver. 👍 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rudi must stay Posted April 25, 2022 Share Posted April 25, 2022 There's a new man in charge of my beach Cyril Sand Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Morgan Posted April 25, 2022 Share Posted April 25, 2022 1 hour ago, rudi must stay said: There's a new man in charge of my beach Cyril Sand Which one of the Beach Boys was called Ringo Starr? John Lennon. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ri Alban Posted April 25, 2022 Share Posted April 25, 2022 What's yellow and spongy? A yellow sponge. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
superjack Posted April 25, 2022 Share Posted April 25, 2022 Two medical students were walking along the street when they saw an old man walking with his legs spread apart. He was stiff-legged and walking slowly. One student said to his friend: "I'm sure that poor old man has Peltry Syndrome. Those people walk just like that." The other student says: "No, I don't think so. The old man surely has Zovitzki Syndrome. He walks slowly and his legs are apart, just as we learned in class." Since they couldn't agree they decided to ask the old man. They approached him and one of the students said to him, "We're medical students and couldn't help but notice the way you walk, but we couldn't agree on the syndrome you might have. Could you tell us what it is?" The old man said, "I'll tell you, but first you tell me what you two fine medical students think." The first student said, "I think it's Peltry Syndrome." The old man said, "You thought - but you are wrong." The other student said, "I think you ha ve Zovitzki Syndrome." The old man said, "You thought - but you are wrong." So they asked him, "Well, old timer, what do you have?" The old man said, "I thought it was wind - but I was wrong, too!" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
superjack Posted April 27, 2022 Share Posted April 27, 2022 A farmer stopped at the local garage to have his truck fixed. They couldn't do it while he waited so he said he didn't live far and would just walk home. On the way home he stopped at the DIY shop and bought a bucket and a gallon of paint. Then he stopped at the pet shop and picked up a couple of chickens and a goose. He struggled outside then realised he didn't have his truck so he now had a problem - how to carry his purchases home. While he was scratching his head he was approached by a little old lady who told him she was lost. She said "Can you tell me how to get to 1603 Mockingbird Lane?" The farmer answered, "as a matter of fact my farm is very close to that house I would walk you there but I can't carry this lot." The old lady suggested, "Why don't you put the tin of paint in the bucket, carry the bucket in one hand, put a chicken under each arm and carry the goose in your other hand?" "Why thank you very much," he said and proceeded to walk the old girl home. On the way he says "Let's take my short cut and go down this alley and we'll be there in no time." The little old lady looked him over cautiously then said "I am a lonely widow without a husband to defend me.... How do I know that when we get in the alley you won't hold me up against the wall, pull up my skirt and have your way with me?" The farmer said "Holy smokes lady, I'm carrying a bucket, a gallon of paint, two chickens and a goose. How in the world could I possibly hold you up against the wall and do that?" The old lady replied "Put the goose down, cover him with the bucket, put the paint on top of the bucket, and I'll hold the chickens." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dick Dastardly Posted April 29, 2022 Share Posted April 29, 2022 Dr i think i need some ointment, my knobs all flakey and has turned orange Have you been using any new chemicals at work? Na, i got laid off a few weeks ago. I'm so bored all i do is sit around watching P0rnhub and eating Whatsits Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
superjack Posted May 3, 2022 Share Posted May 3, 2022 A typical bloke, having split from his latest girlfriend, decided to take a holiday.He booked himself on a cruise and proceeded to have the time of his life, that is; until the ship sank. He found himself on an island with no other people, no supplies, nothing; only bananas and coconuts. After about four months, he is lying on the beach one day when the most gorgeous woman he has ever seen rows up to the shore. In disbelief, he asks, 'Where did you come from? How did you get here?' She replied, 'I rowed from the other side of the island. I landed here when my cruise ship sank.' 'Amazing,' he notes. 'You were really lucky to have a row boat wash up with you.' 'Oh,this thing?' explains the woman. 'I made the boat out of raw material I found on the island. The oars were whittled from gum tree branches. I wove the bottom from palm branches, and the sides and stern came from a Eucalyptus tree.' 'But, where did you get the tools?' 'Oh, that was no problem,' replied the woman. 'On the south side of the island, a very unusual stratum of alluvial rock is exposed. I found if I fired it to a certain temperature in my kiln, it melted into ductile iron. I used that for tools and used the tools to make the hardware.' The guy is stunned. 'Let's row over to my place,' she says. After a few minutes of rowing, she docks the boat at a small wharf. As the man looks to shore, he nearly falls off the boat. Before him is stone walk leading to an exquisite bungalow painted in blue and white. While the woman ties up the rowboat with an expertly woven hemp rope, the man can only stare ahead, dumb struck. As they walk into the house, she says casually, 'It's not much but I call it home. Sit down, please. Would you like a drink?' 'No! No thank you,' he blurts out, still dazed. 'I can't take another drop of coconut juice.' 'It's not coconut juice,' winks the woman. 'I have a still. How would you like a Pina Colada?' Trying to hide his continued amazement, the man accepts, and they sit down on her couch to talk. After they have exchanged their stories, the woman announces, 'I'm going to slip into something more comfortable. Would you like to take a shower and shave? There is a razor in the bathroom cabinet.' No longer questioning anything, the man goes into the bathroom. There, in the cabinet, is a razor made from a piece of tortoise bone. Two shells honed to a hollow ground edge are fastened on to its end inside a swivel mechanism. 'This woman is amazing,' he muses. 'What next?' When he returns, she greets him wearing nothing but vines, strategically positioned, and smellingfaintly of gardenias... She beckons for him to sit down next to her. 'Tell me,' she begins suggestively, slithering closer to him, 'We've been out here for many months.You've been lonely. There's something I'm sure you really feel like doing right now, something you've been longing for?' She stares into his eyes... He swallows excitedly and tears start to form in his eyes... Oh my God, fecking hell, don't tell me you've got Sky Sports?' Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
redjambo Posted May 3, 2022 Share Posted May 3, 2022 1 hour ago, superjack said: A typical bloke, having split from his latest girlfriend, decided to take a holiday.He booked himself on a cruise and proceeded to have the time of his life, that is; until the ship sank. He found himself on an island with no other people, no supplies, nothing; only bananas and coconuts. After about four months, he is lying on the beach one day when the most gorgeous woman he has ever seen rows up to the shore. In disbelief, he asks, 'Where did you come from? How did you get here?' She replied, 'I rowed from the other side of the island. I landed here when my cruise ship sank.' 'Amazing,' he notes. 'You were really lucky to have a row boat wash up with you.' 'Oh,this thing?' explains the woman. 'I made the boat out of raw material I found on the island. The oars were whittled from gum tree branches. I wove the bottom from palm branches, and the sides and stern came from a Eucalyptus tree.' 'But, where did you get the tools?' 'Oh, that was no problem,' replied the woman. 'On the south side of the island, a very unusual stratum of alluvial rock is exposed. I found if I fired it to a certain temperature in my kiln, it melted into ductile iron. I used that for tools and used the tools to make the hardware.' The guy is stunned. 'Let's row over to my place,' she says. After a few minutes of rowing, she docks the boat at a small wharf. As the man looks to shore, he nearly falls off the boat. Before him is stone walk leading to an exquisite bungalow painted in blue and white. While the woman ties up the rowboat with an expertly woven hemp rope, the man can only stare ahead, dumb struck. As they walk into the house, she says casually, 'It's not much but I call it home. Sit down, please. Would you like a drink?' 'No! No thank you,' he blurts out, still dazed. 'I can't take another drop of coconut juice.' 'It's not coconut juice,' winks the woman. 'I have a still. How would you like a Pina Colada?' Trying to hide his continued amazement, the man accepts, and they sit down on her couch to talk. After they have exchanged their stories, the woman announces, 'I'm going to slip into something more comfortable. Would you like to take a shower and shave? There is a razor in the bathroom cabinet.' No longer questioning anything, the man goes into the bathroom. There, in the cabinet, is a razor made from a piece of tortoise bone. Two shells honed to a hollow ground edge are fastened on to its end inside a swivel mechanism. 'This woman is amazing,' he muses. 'What next?' When he returns, she greets him wearing nothing but vines, strategically positioned, and smellingfaintly of gardenias... She beckons for him to sit down next to her. 'Tell me,' she begins suggestively, slithering closer to him, 'We've been out here for many months.You've been lonely. There's something I'm sure you really feel like doing right now, something you've been longing for?' She stares into his eyes... He swallows excitedly and tears start to form in his eyes... Oh my God, fecking hell, don't tell me you've got Sky Sports?' I remember I used to tell that one 40 years ago. Different punchline of course, but for the life of my I can't remember what it was. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
I P Knightley Posted May 3, 2022 Share Posted May 3, 2022 48 minutes ago, redjambo said: I remember I used to tell that one 40 years ago. Different punchline of course, but for the life of my I can't remember what it was. "Do you want to play around?" "Don't tell me you've got a set of golf clubs!" Would that be it? It may have been one of Ronnie Corbett's monologues. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
redjambo Posted May 3, 2022 Share Posted May 3, 2022 50 minutes ago, I P Knightley said: "Do you want to play around?" "Don't tell me you've got a set of golf clubs!" Would that be it? It may have been one of Ronnie Corbett's monologues. Yup, that was it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
superjack Posted May 5, 2022 Share Posted May 5, 2022 Ron Gordon was in Asda and a wee auld dear was struggling to get a box of the shelf, can you manage? he asked her Feck off she said im no taking your poxy job. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
superjack Posted May 9, 2022 Share Posted May 9, 2022 Little Johnny comes into the house for dinner after playing outside all afternoon. His parents ask him what he did today. He says that he played baseball and then he proposed to Betty, the next door neighbor and they are going to get married. His parents think this is cute, and they don't want to make fun of Johnny so they ask Johnny, "How are you and Betty going to pay for the expenses of being married?" He replies "Well with the $1 I get each week from you and the $1 she gets from her Mom and Dad, we should do o.k." His father says "That's fine, but how will you pay the extra expenses if you and Betty have a baby?" Johnny answers "Well, so far, we've been lucky..." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Watt-Zeefuik Posted May 10, 2022 Share Posted May 10, 2022 May have done this already . . . Went into the pub the other day and said, "I've got a great joke about Hibs fans, want to hear it?" The barkeep bent over the bar with an annoyed look and said, "before you tell it, you should know, I'm Hibs. See that big lad at the door? He's Hibs too. And see the waitress with the sharp knives? She's Hibs too. Now, do you want to tell us your joke?" I said, "Not if I'm going to have to explain it three times!" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Watt-Zeefuik Posted May 13, 2022 Share Posted May 13, 2022 A mind-controlled deodorizer makes scents if you think about it. (taken from the newspaper it must be said) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
il Duce McTarkin Posted May 13, 2022 Share Posted May 13, 2022 5 hours ago, Led Tasso said: A mind-controlled deodorizer makes scents if you think about it. (taken from the newspaper it must be said) Ffs Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rudi must stay Posted May 13, 2022 Share Posted May 13, 2022 What's the most attractive position in a rugby team? Hooker Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Morgan Posted May 13, 2022 Share Posted May 13, 2022 13 hours ago, Led Tasso said: A mind-controlled deodorizer makes scents if you think about it. (taken from the newspaper it must be said) 2 hours ago, rudi must stay said: What's the most attractive position in a rugby team? Hooker These two jokes are somewhat different in quality. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dick Dastardly Posted May 14, 2022 Share Posted May 14, 2022 Some people say porn is degrading to women. Personally, i think some of the less hardcore stuff is acceptable but bukake is just rubbing it in their faces Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SexyCraigGordon Posted May 15, 2022 Share Posted May 15, 2022 Was walking down the street n saw these cute wee dugs, asked the man walking them if they were jack Russells n he replied “naw they’re mine” Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
superjack Posted May 19, 2022 Share Posted May 19, 2022 A golfer was involved in a terrible car crash and was rushed to the hospital. Just before he was put under, the surgeon popped in to see him, "I have some good news and some bad news," says the surgeon. "The bad news is that I have to remove your right arm!" "Oh God no!" cries the man "My golfing is over! Please Doc, what's the good news?" "The good news is, I have another one to replace it with, but it's a woman's arm and I'll need your permission before I go ahead with the transplant." "Go for it doc," says the man, "as long as I can play golf again." The operation went well and a year later the man was out on the golf course when he bumped into the surgeon. "Hi, how's the new arm?" asks the surgeon. "Just great," says the businessman. "I'm playing the best golf of my life. My new arm has a much finer touch and my putting has really improved." "That's great," said the surgeon. "Not only that," continued the golfer, "my handwriting has improved, I've learned how to sew my own clothes and I've even taken up painting landscapes in watercolors." "That’s Unbelievable!" said the surgeon, "I'm so glad to hear the transplant was such a great success. Are you having any side effects?" "Well, just one," said the golfer, "Every time I get an hard on I also get a headache." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
shoebee Posted May 19, 2022 Share Posted May 19, 2022 Girlfriend sent me to the shop to get 6 cans of sprite, realised when I got home I had picked 7up Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Maple Leaf Posted May 19, 2022 Share Posted May 19, 2022 1 hour ago, shoebee said: Girlfriend sent me to the shop to get 6 cans of sprite, realised when I got home I had picked 7up A variation on the very old joke of "Did you hear about the guy who gulped down 6 cokes but burped 7 up?" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
superjack Posted May 20, 2022 Share Posted May 20, 2022 Two good old boys, Murphy and Paddy, have been promoted from Privates to Lance Corporals. Not long afterward, they're out for a walk and Murphy says, "Hey, Paddy, there's the NCO Club; let's you and me step in." "But we’re only Privates," protests Paddy. "We’re Lance Corporals now," says Murphy, pointing to his stripe and pulling him inside. "Now, Paddy, I'm a-gonna sit down and have me a drink." "But we're Privates," says Paddy. "You blind, boy?" asks Murphy, pointing again at his stripe. "We're Lance Corporals now!" So they have their drink, and pretty soon one of the Army lass’s comes up to Murphy. "You're cute," she says, "and I'd like to date you, but I've got a bad case of gonorrhea." Murphy pulls Paddy to the side and whispers, "Paddy, go look in the dictionary and see what Gonorrhea means. If it's okay, give me the okay sign." So Paddy goes to look it up, comes back, and gives Murphy the big Thumbs Up. Three weeks later Murphy is laid up in the infirmary with a terrible case of gonorrhea. Murphy says to Paddy, "Why the flipping heck did you give me the thumbs up?" "Well Murphy, in the dictionary, it say gonorrhea affects only the Privates & we're Lance Corporals now." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kalamazoo Jambo Posted May 20, 2022 Share Posted May 20, 2022 Can an admin please explain why my post was removed? My fence just fell over Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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