Currahee! Posted April 16, 2015 Share Posted April 16, 2015 Done an apprenticeship with British Gas. Worked there since 16. I didn't have a day off sick for my 1st 9 years. Raised my daughter who is now at university. Took recreational drugs every weekend until my daughter was born and don't regret it and I'm still pretty normal. Been arrested quite a few times for various idiotic things. I was the 1st one out of all my mates to jump off Generals bridge into the Yarrow. Survived a crash where my van was a total wreck with the roof caved in etc. Without a scratch. Got back from Zagreb somehow. No idea how because I was so drunk. Once got a pool cue smashed over my back by my brother and never felt a thing. It was broken into 3 pieces. Got pushed out the way by Ralf Schumacher. Been refused more drink as I was so drunk in my local. I'm the one and only person this has happened to. It was after hospitality. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Buffalo Bill Posted April 16, 2015 Share Posted April 16, 2015 I started the "we want six" chant at around 4.30pm on May 19th 2012 at Hampden Park. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JWL Posted April 17, 2015 Share Posted April 17, 2015 Achieved the square root of feck all. However, sadly my dad passed away a couple of weeks ago and whilst not an achievement as such, we were friends rather than Father and Son for the last 10 to 15 years. This was after around 15 years of me being a complete and utter arsehole during and after Hearts games in the late 70's and early 80's which involved the police visiting my house on more than one occasion. Come the mid 80's, I was just an arsehole in general; bouts of unemployment, trouble with the law again, nothing major, just basic arseholery. As you can imagine, my father and me never really got on during this time; he thought I was a waster, and he was right. Not sure what happened, but I got a wake up call one day in the late 80's that made me wonder where my life was heading. We gradually got talking a wee bit more and I started to get more regular work and we started to have an actual father and son relationship. I started to show him the respect that I should have shown him from day one and we started going out for a beer as father and son but latterly it was me and my mate. The achievement I suppose is the fact that both my parents eventually became proud of me for the way I have turned my life around. I just wish I had done it sooner. Sleep sound Dad. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
maroonlegions Posted April 17, 2015 Share Posted April 17, 2015 (edited) Became a qualified chef, worked in various hotel and private kitchens, had a blast with many crazy chefs after work in my time, worked and trained with Gordon Ramsay like characters,that would mould me in good stead in the early years for when i progressed to run kitchens as a head chef. Was a hard core punk in my early youth that manifested a hatred for politics, religions and general greedy b********. Raised two daughters and a son, (happily married,(most of the time), now a postie and feel fit as feck for my age, gave up smoking 7 years ago, designed and painted my sons currant Hearts themed bedroom.Proud off my rather extensive knowledge of the UFO subject from the 1940s and onward including those unknown origin cases that have never made the media because of the high strangeness content they contain after credible investigations.Last but not least supporting Hearts since i was young. FTH. Edited April 17, 2015 by maroonlegions Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Captain Canada Posted April 17, 2015 Share Posted April 17, 2015 I wrote 24 kids stories in 24 hours for charity, raised ?1100 and published them as an eBook on Amazon. I taught lots of people to drive and made a real difference to their lives. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
indianajones Posted April 17, 2015 Share Posted April 17, 2015 I plant thousands... THOUSANDS of trees every year between February and May. Carbon neutral and saving the world. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sten Guns Posted April 17, 2015 Share Posted April 17, 2015 Not got myself banned off kickback. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Siphiwe Tshabalala Posted April 17, 2015 Share Posted April 17, 2015 (edited) Escaping East Lothian and getting the opportunity to work in a League 1, soon to be Championship Centre of Excellence. Mixing with ex pros and some really high quality coaches on a near daily basis. Running a major town partner of Bostons' youth set up. Networked with alot of people from a youngish age. Edited April 17, 2015 by Richard Branson Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chester copperpot Posted April 17, 2015 Share Posted April 17, 2015 Achieved the square root of feck all. However, sadly my dad passed away a couple of weeks ago and whilst not an achievement as such, we were friends rather than Father and Son for the last 10 to 15 years. This was after around 15 years of me being a complete and utter arsehole during and after Hearts games in the late 70's and early 80's which involved the police visiting my house on more than one occasion. Come the mid 80's, I was just an arsehole in general; bouts of unemployment, trouble with the law again, nothing major, just basic arseholery. As you can imagine, my father and me never really got on during this time; he thought I was a waster, and he was right. Not sure what happened, but I got a wake up call one day in the late 80's that made me wonder where my life was heading. We gradually got talking a wee bit more and I started to get more regular work and we started to have an actual father and son relationship. I started to show him the respect that I should have shown him from day one and we started going out for a beer as father and son but latterly it was me and my mate. The achievement I suppose is the fact that both my parents eventually became proud of me for the way I have turned my life around. I just wish I had done it sooner. Sleep sound Dad. Im sure your dad would be proud mate. Lost my dad last year and thought similar to you. I'm sure both our old fellas are up there smiling. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PsychocAndy Posted April 17, 2015 Share Posted April 17, 2015 Eat a cooked breakfast nearly every day and smoke 20 cigarettes a day. Turned 50 over a month ago and not dead yet. Sent from my Samsung Galaxy Note Found out today my BMI is 6.1 and my Cholesterol level is 3.9. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tazio Posted April 18, 2015 Share Posted April 18, 2015 Found out today my BMI is 6.1 and my Cholesterol level is 3.9. If your BMI is 6.1 you make Karen Carpenter look like Vanessa Feltz. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
iantjambo Posted April 18, 2015 Share Posted April 18, 2015 Got married four weeks ago. That's about it Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PsychocAndy Posted April 18, 2015 Share Posted April 18, 2015 If your BMI is 6.1 you make Karen Carpenter look like Vanessa Feltz. Unfortunately, I look pregnant, which doesn't look good on a 50 year old man. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest C00l K1d Posted April 19, 2015 Share Posted April 19, 2015 If your BMI is 6 and you're an adult male you've definitely done it wrong. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gorgiewave Posted April 19, 2015 Share Posted April 19, 2015 A BMI of 6.1 means you're probably dead. Even at 16.1 you'd be underweight. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PsychocAndy Posted April 19, 2015 Share Posted April 19, 2015 15st 10 and 192cm, a baw hair under 6ft 4. They want me between 4 and 6. Unless the NHS want to kill me off because I cost a lot in ?s. sent by my phone using an enhanced Stephen Hawking like voice Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PsychocAndy Posted April 19, 2015 Share Posted April 19, 2015 Your all right. I just done it on line and I should be 26.9. They are trying to kill me. sent by my phone using an enhanced Stephen Hawking like voice Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PsychocAndy Posted April 20, 2015 Share Posted April 20, 2015 I am just back from the nurse, not for this, and my MBI is 26. Just on my way home for my daily fry up. sent by my phone using an enhanced Stephen Hawking like voice Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Masonic Posted August 17, 2015 Share Posted August 17, 2015 I was Kickback Chess champion back in the early days Was East of Scotland Under 16 champion at 13 in 1969.and in the Sctoland training squad . At the moment I am rated 2140 on Chessmaniac (inflated ratings) and 227 in the world on that site> I think I've played you a few times on ICC but I just play drunk 1 minute chess on that site. I have been a few IMs on there and I think one GM but just at 1 minute I also took part in the early chess computer experiments run by Professor Donald Levy at Edinburgh University Cybernetics department in the mid 1970s where I played against a computer as big as a house which churned out ticker tape for every move ahahaha depth 10 on the supercomps in the 70s would have been overheating like chernobyl Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jambo-fletch Posted August 17, 2015 Share Posted August 17, 2015 Sweet **** all, how depressing! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jbee647 Posted August 17, 2015 Share Posted August 17, 2015 I have a beautiful healthy daughter, that is the greatest achievement anyone can ever have, absolutely nothing compares to fathering a child, money, sporting achievements or job satisfaction just does not compare Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GforGallo Posted August 17, 2015 Share Posted August 17, 2015 I have a beautiful healthy daughter, that is the greatest achievement anyone can ever have, absolutely nothing compares to fathering a child, money, sporting achievements or job satisfaction just does not compare Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk Either you've just had the kid or your wife/daughter reads job and knows your username. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jbee647 Posted August 17, 2015 Share Posted August 17, 2015 eh ? Sent from my iPad using Tapatalk Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GforGallo Posted August 17, 2015 Share Posted August 17, 2015 (edited) eh ? Sent from my iPad using Tapatalk Assuming you're male (apologies if not) your contribution to a 'beautiful, healthy' daughter was roughly two pumps and a squirt. To say that nothing matches up to having kids is a nonsense. N.b. Should your child be roughly 20+ and your satisfied you raised a good person then I can just about see the argument, but even then it's not something you've achieved, it's been achieved by a team of people. And I have three of my own. Edited August 17, 2015 by GforGallo Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Old Gray Badger Posted August 17, 2015 Share Posted August 17, 2015 Gave up alcohol. Never looked back. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Riddley Walker Posted August 17, 2015 Share Posted August 17, 2015 Assuming you're male (apologies if not) your contribution to a 'beautiful, healthy' daughter was roughly two pumps and a squirt. To say that nothing matches up to having kids is a nonsense. N.b. Should your child be roughly 20+ and your satisfied you raised a good person then I can just about see the argument, but even then it's not something you've achieved, it's been achieved by a team of people. And I have three of my own. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
iantjambo Posted August 17, 2015 Share Posted August 17, 2015 I discovered the difference between butter and "I can't believe it's not butter" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jbee647 Posted August 18, 2015 Share Posted August 18, 2015 Assuming you're male (apologies if not) your contribution to a 'beautiful, healthy' daughter was roughly two pumps and a squirt. To say that nothing matches up to having kids is a nonsense. N.b. Should your child be roughly 20+ and your satisfied you raised a good person then I can just about see the argument, but even then it's not something you've achieved, it's been achieved by a team of people. And I have three of my own. I think you are assuming too much mate Without knowing anything about my circumstances you are telling me what my greatest achievement is... I'm sure I know best Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Riddley Walker Posted August 18, 2015 Share Posted August 18, 2015 Completed a Masters degree. Lived abroad for a couple of years. Travelled around large parts of the world. Somehow still have functioning sperm after all the alcohol and drug-taking. I've seen Hearts win 3 Scottish Cups Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Masonic Posted August 18, 2015 Share Posted August 18, 2015 add to my list quit smokin too #peaking Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
deesidejambo Posted August 18, 2015 Share Posted August 18, 2015 Worked all over the world with an Oil Company. Made a packet. Then gave it all up and became a Ski-instructor. Now making almost bugger-all but loving every minute of it. In fact not almost bugger-all. Totally bugger-all. Great job though. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Col1874 Posted August 18, 2015 Share Posted August 18, 2015 I've done really well for myself. Kicked out of school at 16, kicked out of college at 17. Long list of dead end jobs since, of which I've been in my current job for 10 years and still bottom of the ladder. Isolated myself from all of my former friends and now have none. Gained a natural ability to fail at everything in life. Life's great! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
deesidejambo Posted August 18, 2015 Share Posted August 18, 2015 I've done really well for myself. Kicked out of school at 16, kicked out of college at 17. Long list of dead end jobs since, of which I've been in my current job for 10 years and still bottom of the ladder. Isolated myself from all of my former friends and now have none. Gained a natural ability to fail at everything in life. Life's great! It could be worse. You could support Hibs. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Riddley Walker Posted August 18, 2015 Share Posted August 18, 2015 I've done really well for myself. Kicked out of school at 16, kicked out of college at 17. Long list of dead end jobs since, of which I've been in my current job for 10 years and still bottom of the ladder. Isolated myself from all of my former friends and now have none. Gained a natural ability to fail at everything in life. Life's great! You'll always have JKB mate. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
IronJambo Posted August 19, 2015 Share Posted August 19, 2015 I can push a condom up my nose and pull it out my mouth. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Homme Posted August 19, 2015 Share Posted August 19, 2015 Find out tomorrow whether i will be dad to a wee boy or a wee girl Regardless, a wee Jambo. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sarah O Posted August 19, 2015 Share Posted August 19, 2015 Escaped living in Scotland under Westminster rule. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
luckyBatistuta Posted August 19, 2015 Share Posted August 19, 2015 I can push a condom up my nose and pull it out my mouth. Wow, another one. My mate used to do this as his party piece in the Diggers many moons ago. He used to shove a massive nail straight into his face through his nose and also put the whole top of his pint glass inside his mouth all at once and drink his pint.as part of his reportoire. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Homme Posted August 20, 2015 Share Posted August 20, 2015 Find out tomorrow whether i will be dad to a wee boy or a wee girl Regardless, a wee Jambo. A wee boy it is! Absolutely buzzing :-) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
iantjambo Posted August 20, 2015 Share Posted August 20, 2015 A wee boy it is! Absolutely buzzing :-) Congratulations mate Rudi is a nice name Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sharky999 Posted August 20, 2015 Share Posted August 20, 2015 I built a chicken run this week and now have chickens . Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sharky999 Posted August 20, 2015 Share Posted August 20, 2015 (edited) Diuble post Edited August 20, 2015 by Sharky999 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Riddley Walker Posted August 20, 2015 Share Posted August 20, 2015 A wee boy it is! Absolutely buzzing :-) Congratulations mate. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tynie chris Posted August 20, 2015 Share Posted August 20, 2015 Well,,,,, apart from bringing up my boy a pure Hearts fan, being mortgage free at last, relatively good health, life is good,,,,,,,so far. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TheMaganator Posted August 20, 2015 Share Posted August 20, 2015 Escaped living in Scotland under Westminster rule. And now live somewhere in Europe under Brussels rule amarite? Still, at least there aren't any English accents in charge Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
spud Posted August 21, 2015 Share Posted August 21, 2015 In the mid-70?s my then fiance?s dad told her that I was a waster and wouldn?t amount to much, so she left me. At the time he was probably right. Got a decent job and after various promotions, jacked it in and went back to university. Now have an honours degree, a masters degree and a PhD. Spent years doing field work driving round southern Africa, clocking up nearly 200,000kms. Cooked every night on an open fire. Been stalked by lions and had to ?push? dozens of elephants out of my way. Lived in a caravan in Mozambique for over a year on the edge of the Indian Ocean. Written a book, published over 20 papers of original scientific research and have been a scientific advisor to KwaZuluNatal, Gauteng and Western Cape Provincial governments. Been taught to use an R4 assault rifle, a 0.458 hunting rifle and a Magnum handgun. Run over twice, once by my own vehicle in Mozambique. Now live in New Zealand, where I have a small farm, am associate editor for a leading international scientific journal and a research associate at an NZ university. I always have time to remember my ex-fiance?s dad though. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Bilel Mohsni Posted August 21, 2015 Share Posted August 21, 2015 And now live somewhere in Europe under Brussels rule amarite? Still, at least there aren't any English accents in charge Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dia Liom Posted August 21, 2015 Share Posted August 21, 2015 In the mid-70?s my then fiance?s dad told her that I was a waster and wouldn?t amount to much, so she left me. At the time he was probably right. Got a decent job and after various promotions, jacked it in and went back to university. Now have an honours degree, a masters degree and a PhD. Spent years doing field work driving round southern Africa, clocking up nearly 200,000kms. Cooked every night on an open fire. Been stalked by lions and had to ?push? dozens of elephants out of my way. Lived in a caravan in Mozambique for over a year on the edge of the Indian Ocean. Written a book, published over 20 papers of original scientific research and have been a scientific advisor to KwaZuluNatal, Gauteng and Western Cape Provincial governments. Been taught to use an R4 assault rifle, a 0.458 hunting rifle and a Magnum handgun. Run over twice, once by my own vehicle in Mozambique. Now live in New Zealand, where I have a small farm, am associate editor for a leading international scientific journal and a research associate at an NZ university. I always have time to remember my ex-fiance?s dad though. Among those amazing achievements, how high up the list is running yourself over? (well done with the rest o it btw) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Homme Posted August 21, 2015 Share Posted August 21, 2015 I don't know how to multiquote but cheers everyone. Will post a pic of wee Juwon when he has been born. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
IronJambo Posted August 21, 2015 Share Posted August 21, 2015 Wow, another one. My mate used to do this as his party piece in the Diggers many moons ago. He used to shove a massive nail straight into his face through his nose and also put the whole top of his pint glass inside his mouth all at once and drink his pint.as part of his reportoire. I feel inadequate now. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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