The all new "seethe" thread

[JudyJudyJudy]

3 hours ago, OBE said:

Acronyms

Oh yes. I remember reading a case record in  a previous job about someone who had LTMHP.     Took me ages to work out what it meant.  I dont mind them if you initially say what the acronym actually means then use the acronym.  Ill leave others to guess what it meant. 

[All roads lead to Gorgie]

Another discount supermarket gripe is when they announce that checkout five or whatever is about to open and you empty your shopping onto the belt at that till. The problem is they do the announcement about 5 mins before a member of staff actually takes their place at the till. Meanwhile about three customers have gone through the next checkout along!

[Sooperstar]

29 minutes ago, JamesM48 said:

Oh yes. I remember reading a case record in  a previous job about someone who had LTMHP.     Took me ages to work out what it meant.  I dont mind them if you initially say what the acronym actually means then use the acronym.  Ill leave others to guess what it meant. 

Long Term Mental Health Problems?

 

If that's right I want a gold medal.

[Cade]

35 minutes ago, JamesM48 said:

Oh yes. I remember reading a case record in  a previous job about someone who had LTMHP.     Took me ages to work out what it meant.  I dont mind them if you initially say what the acronym actually means then use the acronym.  Ill leave others to guess what it meant. 

 

Like To Make Her Pumped?

[Jambo_jim2001]

4 hours ago, OBE said:

Acronyms

Army life is not for you then😀

[¼½¾]

1 hour ago, JamesM48 said:

Oh yes. I remember reading a case record in  a previous job about someone who had LTMHP.     Took me ages to work out what it meant.  I dont mind them if you initially say what the acronym actually means then use the acronym.  Ill leave others to guess what it meant. 

Is that no just an abbreviation? If it's an acronym I'm struggling to work out how it's pronounced. 😋

[Tazio]

18 minutes ago, Meathook said:

Is that no just an abbreviation? If it's an acronym I'm struggling to work out how it's pronounced. 😋

I’d agree. That’s an initialism for me. 

[All roads lead to Gorgie]

2 minutes ago, Tazio said:

I’d agree. That’s an initialism for me. 

That's just a bunch of random letters more like 😄

[OBE]

10 hours ago, JamesM48 said:

Oh yes. I remember reading a case record in  a previous job about someone who had LTMHP.     Took me ages to work out what it meant.  I dont mind them if you initially say what the acronym actually means then use the acronym.  Ill leave others to guess what it meant. 

 

Especially, on important form filling, when they don't initially spell it out...

[OBE]

9 hours ago, Jambo_jim2001 said:

Army life is not for you then😀

No, but I can imagine it's frequently used, my employer supports the MoD...

[Der Kaiser]

10 hours ago, Tazio said:

I’d agree. That’s an initialism for me. 

 

"That's a hot sauce"

[Ribble]

18 hours ago, Tazio said:

You missed the worst one. People that go to the kiosk with an overflowing basket. It’s meant to be for lottery tickets, tobacco, and snacks. Not your weekly shop you fat sweatpants wearing mess (this is usual). And especially if you just want a lottery ticket and they wobble up at 7.20. 

I’d add that the lottery should have a separate lane (especially on Saturday nights) 

[Stu_HMFC]

23 hours ago, Lord BJ said:

Arseholes at the gym.

 

If your not squatting don’t take a squat rack for activities such as crunches or deadlifts. Females need to stop with the ****ing selfies and social media postings😡

What gym you using? 

Edited February 9, 2022 by Stu_HMFC

[Tazio]

22 minutes ago, Ribble said:

I’d add that the lottery should have a separate lane (especially on Saturday nights) 

And another lane for the types that turn up clutching a swathe of tickets to be checked and a seemingly hugely complicated set of tickets to be bought. And then want to pay for different tickets from different places as they’re buying for several people. 

[Stu_HMFC]

13 hours ago, All roads lead to Gorgie said:

Another discount supermarket gripe is when they announce that checkout five or whatever is about to open and you empty your shopping onto the belt at that till. The problem is they do the announcement about 5 mins before a member of staff actually takes their place at the till. Meanwhile about three customers have gone through the next checkout along!

I worked in one a good few years ago, I actually lasted about a two months, I hated the place. They made out that taking me on and honoring my holiday to Dominican Rep two weeks after starting was for my benefit 😂 I wasn't actually arsed I had a start date with a bank in Jan and this job was to last me 4/5 months. I came back from my holiday and they told me since I upped sticks and left to go on holiday the others who started same time as me would work on the shop floor and I would be on the till my full shift. Sometimes I was the only one on the tills and I was asked to manage it myself If I thought it was going to get out of hand call for another checkout to be opened, I got that fed up that button was going off more than anything what pissed off everyone else off in the shop 😂 

 

You're shift would finish when the manager decided too shop closes at 9 you're there until everything is tided away was there until 1030 some nights.  

 

I was on a till for 6 hours and had enough got bit of receipt paper wrote my notice on it and left a full line of customers at my till and walked out 😂 

[All roads lead to Gorgie]

2 minutes ago, Stu_HMFC said:

I worked in one a good few years ago, I actually lasted about a two months, I hated the place. They made out that taking me on and honoring my holiday to Dominican Rep two weeks after starting was for my benefit 😂 I wasn't actually arsed I had a start date with a bank in Jan and this job was to last me 4/5 months. I came back from my holiday and they told me since I upped sticks and left to go on holiday the others who started same time as me would work on the shop floor and I would be on the till my full shift. Sometimes I was the only one on the tills and I was asked to manage it myself If I thought it was going to get out of hand call for another checkout to be opened, I got that fed up that button was going off more than anything what pissed off everyone else off in the shop 😂 

 

You're shift would finish when the manager decided too shop closes at 9 you're there until everything is tided away was there until 1030 some nights.  

 

I was on a till for 6 hours and had enough got bit of receipt paper wrote my notice on it and left a full line of customers at my till and walked out 😂 

The staff have my admiration, it is like you say they often have one checkout open with a staff member coping with a huge gathering queue. Then they open another too late and have to call someone off the shop floor. That's how they make big profits by have the bare minimum staffing I suppose.

[Stu_HMFC]

46 minutes ago, All roads lead to Gorgie said:

The staff have my admiration, it is like you say they often have one checkout open with a staff member coping with a huge gathering queue. Then they open another too late and have to call someone off the shop floor. That's how they make big profits by have the bare minimum staffing I suppose.

Also the staff are monitored how fast they can scan items too and try and push the customer to fire items back into the trolley and pack over at the windows. 

[JWL]

When I first started my current job I was off-site for a bit and we used to receive luncheon vouchers to compensate for the fact we couldn't, or weren't meant to use the discounted staff restaurant. They were in multiples of £2.00 per day and I used to save them up until the end of the month and do a big shop in Sainsbury's. The person on the till had to scan and enter each one individually. A £60.00 shop could take ages to pay for and if there was a big queue of people behind me, the seethe was practically burning. Funny though.

[muldoon74]

3 hours ago, Stu_HMFC said:

Also the staff are monitored how fast they can scan items too and try and push the customer to fire items back into the trolley and pack over at the windows. 

This is actually the system that's meant to be used as it is in Germany (where it works..)

 

It's just we Brits like to talk shite to the cashier who in turn chats shite back and holds up the q further. 

[Stu_HMFC]

5 minutes ago, muldoon74 said:

This is actually the system that's meant to be used as it is in Germany (where it works..)

 

It's just we Brits like to talk shite to the cashier who in turn chats shite back and holds up the q further. 

I quite like going to Aldi and having the bags ready and beat the cashier have my bags packed before he or she scans the last item. 

[All roads lead to Gorgie]

1 hour ago, Stu_HMFC said:

I quite like going to Aldi and having the bags ready and beat the cashier have my bags packed before he or she scans the last item. 

I just take one of those big blue Ikea bags and just drop the shopping straight into it at the checkout. If it's a big shop I'll have it in the trolly anyway or for a basket shop I put it down below the end of the counter and drop the things in. Quickest way to get everything ready for the car where space to pack is limited.

[JudyJudyJudy]

When your in the jacuzzi at the local gym and someone thinks its a good idea to sit very near you , even when there is appropriate space to sit elsewhere. Or when its almost full but you still get an arsehole wanted to try and plank themselves in the jacuzzi too.

[superjack]

20 minutes ago, JamesM48 said:

When your in the jacuzzi at the local gym and someone thinks its a good idea to sit very near you , even when there is appropriate space to sit elsewhere. Or when its almost full but you still get an arsehole wanted to try and plank themselves in the jacuzzi too.

Have the last laugh, a quick piss then get out.

[Shooter McGavin]

When work colleagues tell you stories about their children, and you genuinely couldn’t be less interested 😩
 

Always the most mundane stories too. Absolute torture.

[muldoon74]

28 minutes ago, Shooter McGavin said:

When work colleagues tell you stories about their children, and you genuinely couldn’t be less interested 😩
 

Always the most mundane stories too. Absolute torture.

When work colleagues who have been off for 5 months maternity leave bring the new sprog into workplace for a visit and some twat thinks it's ok to have yet another collection for said arsehole. 

 

Collection for getting pregnant (well done you got your hole and are continuing nature's plan)

 

Collection for having a due date

 

Collection for going on maternity leave

 

Collection for giving birth

 

And now another one? 

 

Get into your 2 year old Discovery and **** off.

 

[Shooter McGavin]

58 minutes ago, muldoon74 said:

When work colleagues who have been off for 5 months maternity leave bring the new sprog into workplace for a visit and some twat thinks it's ok to have yet another collection for said arsehole. 

 

Collection for getting pregnant (well done you got your hole and are continuing nature's plan)

 

Collection for having a due date

 

Collection for going on maternity leave

 

Collection for giving birth

 

And now another one? 

 

Get into your 2 year old Discovery and **** off.

 

Cretins mate, absolute cretins.

 

also,

 

work colleagues who organise their hen party, and almost take pride in how over the top, expensive and inconvenient it is for everybody they’re inviting.

 

You’re not an 18 year old lassy anymore, grow the **** up.

 

You’ve no idea how relieved I am that it’s the weekend.

 

 

[Cade]

Worked in one place that just about had a whip round every bloody day.

A birthday.

A leaving do.

An engagement.

Various charity days.

Grasping feckers were wanting a tenner a day off you.

They even went so far as to have a charity fancy dress day, with everybody paying a tenner. Those that didn't come to work in fancy dress were penalised with a £20 "forfeit".

Had to threaten them with a tribunal for illegally docking wages under duress.

Pricks.

 

[Tazio]

I gave up on being nice for collections at work. A workmate was leaving after a number of years and I was in charge of the collection and present. Our department of 5 plus a couple of casual workers put in about £50 as she’d been there a long time and was a good person. The admin office of almost 20 people contributed less than a tenner. Now I respond in kind and pop in a couple of quid when in the past it would always be a fiver at least. 

[Салатные палочки]

49 minutes ago, Tazio said:

I gave up on being nice for collections at work. A workmate was leaving after a number of years and I was in charge of the collection and present. Our department of 5 plus a couple of casual workers put in about £50 as she’d been there a long time and was a good person. The admin office of almost 20 people contributed less than a tenner. Now I respond in kind and pop in a couple of quid when in the past it would always be a fiver at least. 

 

Maybe she wasn't as well liked by admin as she was by your department. 

 

It amazes me when I see people just casually putting a £20 note in a collection. Fiver max from me for anyone no matter how much I like them or how little they earn. I would rather spend my money on myself or my family than a work colleague who I'll forget five mins after they walk out the building. 

[Jambo_jim2001]

Not one penny from me,learnt that 30 odd years ago.we had a new apprentice and part of said apprenticeship was getting a list and cash at lunch time and getting aforementioned eats...never seen him again, disappeared into the ether with all our money😀🙄

[tian447]

On 08/02/2022 at 09:23, Lord BJ said:

Arseholes at the gym.

 

If your not squatting don’t take a squat rack for activities such as crunches or deadlifts. Females need to stop with the ****ing selfies and social media postings😡

 

I suspect you also have a membership at a Pure Gym

 

I just don't bother going near the gym until after 9pm, especially as both the ones I like to use are right in the city centre.  It's either full of utter wanks taking multiple sets of dumbbells, people doing **** knows what in the racks, people videoing their workout, or groups of early 20-somethings taking 45 minutes to stand around doing **** all whilst taking up something that other people just want to get 5 minutes on.

 

The multiple sets of weights thing does my head in.  Half the time you can't find what you're after because some bellend is sitting with 2x 12kg, 2x 14kg, and 2x 16kg beside their bench at the same time.  That might be fine when there's only a handful of other people in the gym (debatable), but at peak times, I'd really rather you rammed them up your arse and ****ed off.

[Салатные палочки]

8 hours ago, Jambo_jim2001 said:

Not one penny from me,learnt that 30 odd years ago.we had a new apprentice and part of said apprenticeship was getting a list and cash at lunch time and getting aforementioned eats...never seen him again, disappeared into the ether with all our money😀🙄

 

[Cade]

8 hours ago, Jambo_jim2001 said:

Not one penny from me,learnt that 30 odd years ago.we had a new apprentice and part of said apprenticeship was getting a list and cash at lunch time and getting aforementioned eats...never seen him again, disappeared into the ether with all our money😀🙄

 

We once had an apprentice that was supposed to be sent to college one day a week.

He'd be paid for the day and was given a travel and lunch allowance out of petty cash.

After a few months, the college called us and asked if we still wanted to pay the fees for this placement, because nobody had ever shown up.

Turns out that our apprentice was spending his "college days" down the local pool hall instead.

Whoooosh!

 

 

[SectionDJambo]

9 hours ago, Jambo_jim2001 said:

Not one penny from me,learnt that 30 odd years ago.we had a new apprentice and part of said apprenticeship was getting a list and cash at lunch time and getting aforementioned eats...never seen him again, disappeared into the ether with all our money😀🙄

Many years ago now, sadly, I was out on the local park training with my Sunday League football team. One of the guys had brought his wee boy along to watch. 

An ice cream van pulled up next to the pitch we were on. One of the other guys gave the wee boy some money and asked him if he could get a bottle of juice from the van, and that he could get something for himself. He came back with just a handful of sweets, which he was happily filling his wee face with. The guy who gave him the money asked him where the juice was. He replied that he didn't want juice.

[Byyy The Light]

47 minutes ago, SectionDJambo said:

Many years ago now, sadly, I was out on the local park training with my Sunday League football team. One of the guys had brought his wee boy along to watch. 

An ice cream van pulled up next to the pitch we were on. One of the other guys gave the wee boy some money and asked him if he could get a bottle of juice from the van, and that he could get something for himself. He came back with just a handful of sweets, which he was happily filling his wee face with. The guy who gave him the money asked him where the juice was. He replied that he didn't want juice.

😄. Was told a story years ago about a boy on the ground staff at Hearts (might have been Max Christie) Looked after senior pros boots, senior pro gave him 20 quid and sent him along to the bakers to get a cheese savoury roll and told him to get something for himself as well. 
 

Turned up with the cheese savoury and a Reebok T-shirt out of Thomson’s Sports 🤣

[Tazio]

48 minutes ago, Byyy The Light said:

😄. Was told a story years ago about a boy on the ground staff at Hearts (might have been Max Christie) Looked after senior pros boots, senior pro gave him 20 quid and sent him along to the bakers to get a cheese savoury roll and told him to get something for himself as well. 
 

Turned up with the cheese savoury and a Reebok T-shirt out of Thomson’s Sports 🤣

Cracking joke but I’ve heard many versions of it, normally an apprentice though. 

[JudyJudyJudy]

On 09/02/2022 at 19:21, superjack said:

Have the last laugh, a quick piss then get out.

 

[Ribble]

On 11/02/2022 at 20:48, Cade said:

Worked in one place that just about had a whip round every bloody day.

A birthday.

A leaving do.

An engagement.

Various charity days.

Grasping feckers were wanting a tenner a day off you.

They even went so far as to have a charity fancy dress day, with everybody paying a tenner. Those that didn't come to work in fancy dress were penalised with a £20 "forfeit".

Had to threaten them with a tribunal for illegally docking wages under duress.

Pricks.

 

One of the many benefits of working from home is avoiding this type of nonsense

[superjack]

On 11/02/2022 at 20:57, Tazio said:

I gave up on being nice for collections at work. A workmate was leaving after a number of years and I was in charge of the collection and present. Our department of 5 plus a couple of casual workers put in about £50 as she’d been there a long time and was a good person. The admin office of almost 20 people contributed less than a tenner. Now I respond in kind and pop in a couple of quid when in the past it would always be a fiver at least. 

At my work, I'll put in a couple of quid, but not if it's someone I don't like or respect. What I've noticed now though, they are only ever organised if it's for senior management, they're collections that won't get a loose public hair from me, let alone any cash.

[Der Kaiser]

Galentines Day

 

No, not a typo.....

[cheetah]

3 hours ago, Der Kaiser said:

Galentines Day

 

No, not a typo.....

Also heard palentines day today too  FFS

[Harry Potter]

Watch the pavements and roads folks, very slidey out there, take care.

[Bull's-eye]

11 minutes ago, Harry Potter said:

Watch the pavements and roads folks, very slidey out there, take care.

 

Falling on your arse is something worth seething about I suppose.

[Harry Potter]

15 minutes ago, Bull's-eye said:

 

Falling on your arse is something worth seething about I suppose.

No i just sit there and laugh and laugh, 🙂.

[JudyJudyJudy]

I know i shouldn't laugh but...

 

 

 

 

 

 

[¼½¾]

1 hour ago, JamesM48 said:

I know i shouldn't laugh but...

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Had to laugh too, but they're doing it wrong...

 

 

[Der Kaiser]

On 09/02/2022 at 19:00, JamesM48 said:

When your in the jacuzzi at the local gym and someone thinks its a good idea to sit very near you , even when there is appropriate space to sit elsewhere. Or when its almost full but you still get an arsehole wanted to try and plank themselves in the jacuzzi too.

 

 

 

[Costanza]

49 minutes ago, jonesy said:

Ha! That's outside one of my work's offices. The amount of rubbish on the street last time I was there, the wind will provide a welcome tidy up.

I thought I recognised that camera angle.

This made me laugh a lot yesterday 

 

 

[JudyJudyJudy]

33 minutes ago, Lord BJ said:

It’s the missus and boys birthday today. I had bought the missus gift, a very exoensive coat, but she knew about it as she just went shopping with my card. 
 

Anyway boy gets spoilt, cause, well we can. He has a bunch of presents to open, once he finishes, as the wife has nothing, outside the coat. I give the her a card, which tells her, organised the night away at hotel dinner, cocktails and sitters looks after kids. 

 

The boy then throws a tantrum, ‘it’s my birthday that’s not fair’.
 

Anyway after about a hour of stropping, the wife says she’s not up for it. I suggest we wait a couple of hours, see how she feels. 
 

In meantime, the boy and I fall out after it turns out some of his lying catches up on him. Which have consequences for him, not least making him feel stupid. 
 

Anyway, in-laws and family round for lunch and general chit chat. Wife’s says changes her mind, couple glasses of fizz in, and says she’ll check with boy but wants to go. 
 

Two min later boys says no and wife breaking news to me and I’m cancelling night.😡

 

He’s now sitting upstairs playing Fortnite with his mates online. Whilst she sipping cocktails with her sister and niece in kitchen. 
 

This was not the ****ing plan. 

ps. I’m severely under influence as a result of busted flush as opposed to busted nut night😔

 

 

 

May I Extend my sympathies to you . 

[superjack]

1 hour ago, Lord BJ said:

It’s the missus and boys birthday today. I had bought the missus gift, a very exoensive coat, but she knew about it as she just went shopping with my card. 
 

Anyway boy gets spoilt, cause, well we can. He has a bunch of presents to open, once he finishes, as the wife has nothing, outside the coat. I give the her a card, which tells her, organised the night away at hotel dinner, cocktails and sitters looks after kids. 

 

The boy then throws a tantrum, ‘it’s my birthday that’s not fair’.
 

Anyway after about a hour of stropping, the wife says she’s not up for it. I suggest we wait a couple of hours, see how she feels. 
 

In meantime, the boy and I fall out after it turns out some of his lying catches up on him. Which have consequences for him, not least making him feel stupid. 
 

Anyway, in-laws and family round for lunch and general chit chat. Wife’s says changes her mind, couple glasses of fizz in, and says she’ll check with boy but wants to go. 
 

Two min later boys says no and wife breaking news to me and I’m cancelling night.😡

 

He’s now sitting upstairs playing Fortnite with his mates online. Whilst she sipping cocktails with her sister and niece in kitchen. 
 

This was not the ****ing plan. 

ps. I’m severely under influence as a result of busted flush as opposed to busted nut night😔

 

 

 

Just go for a few pints instead.