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Konrad von Carstein
Just now, IronJambo said:

There's nothing delightful about this at all.

:lol:

 

I hear you, my ex FiL was/is a welt... Pain in the arse at family events...

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1 minute ago, Konrad von Carstein said:

:lol:

 

I hear you, my ex FiL was/is a welt... Pain in the arse at family events...

My father-in-law was always very gutless and it seems he never ever had a backbone. Doesn't like "darkies, homosexuals, or those foreign types". He doesn't like them quietly though as he's scared to offend his own big toe. 

 

Anyway.... I've been here for 4 and a half hours and Marshmallow face (the mother-in-law) served up a surprisingly edible dinner that had chicken that was much wetter than anything you could expect from a 70 odd year old, unless of course you wish to count tena lady pants. However I kid you not, I've nearly shit my pants twice since. This woman just can't cook.

 

Quite a funny moment whilst I was writing this. Mrs IJ put the wee guy to bed and she was stuck in the room as the door handle wouldn't work 😂. I had to put a credit card under the door and tell her how to open the door with it. Marshmallow face was stood scratching her head and wiggling the handle murmuring "it's never done this before"

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11 minutes ago, IronJambo said:

My father-in-law was always very gutless and it seems he never ever had a backbone. Doesn't like "darkies, homosexuals, or those foreign types". He doesn't like them quietly though as he's scared to offend his own big toe. 

 

Anyway.... I've been here for 4 and a half hours and Marshmallow face (the mother-in-law) served up a surprisingly edible dinner that had chicken that was much wetter than anything you could expect from a 70 odd year old, unless of course you wish to count tena lady pants. However I kid you not, I've nearly shit my pants twice since. This woman just can't cook.

 

Quite a funny moment whilst I was writing this. Mrs IJ put the wee guy to bed and she was stuck in the room as the door handle wouldn't work 😂. I had to put a credit card under the door and tell her how to open the door with it. Marshmallow face was stood scratching her head and wiggling the handle murmuring "it's never done this before"

it sounds a barrel of laughs

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Carl Fredrickson
39 minutes ago, IronJambo said:

My father-in-law was always very gutless and it seems he never ever had a backbone. Doesn't like "darkies, homosexuals, or those foreign types". He doesn't like them quietly though as he's scared to offend his own big toe. 

 

Anyway.... I've been here for 4 and a half hours and Marshmallow face (the mother-in-law) served up a surprisingly edible dinner that had chicken that was much wetter than anything you could expect from a 70 odd year old, unless of course you wish to count tena lady pants. However I kid you not, I've nearly shit my pants twice since. This woman just can't cook.

 

Quite a funny moment whilst I was writing this. Mrs IJ put the wee guy to bed and she was stuck in the room as the door handle wouldn't work 😂. I had to put a credit card under the door and tell her how to open the door with it. Marshmallow face was stood scratching her head and wiggling the handle murmuring "it's never done this before"

 

I missed your Christmas tales last year. Glad to hear you are back on track :robboyas:

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Not spending time with my in-laws was one of the positives from my divorce. Huge positive.

 

With years to reflect back on it not, it was probably worth the cost of taking on all the marital debt just so I didnt have to sit there watching yet another home improvement programme. I used to lie and say I had marking from the week to do to avoid visiting them for lunch or tea quite a lot. They both drank like fish as well and quite often the MiL would drink herself into an right state....including birthday parties we had at the house for my boys. 2nd, 3rd, 4th birthday parties and she'd be shit faced by 8pm. Utter embarrassment. I'd often pretend to have had a few beers just so I could avoid driving them home.

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1 hour ago, IronJambo said:

My father-in-law was always very gutless and it seems he never ever had a backbone. Doesn't like "darkies, homosexuals, or those foreign types". He doesn't like them quietly though as he's scared to offend his own big toe. 

 

Anyway.... I've been here for 4 and a half hours and Marshmallow face (the mother-in-law) served up a surprisingly edible dinner that had chicken that was much wetter than anything you could expect from a 70 odd year old, unless of course you wish to count tena lady pants. However I kid you not, I've nearly shit my pants twice since. This woman just can't cook.

 

Quite a funny moment whilst I was writing this. Mrs IJ put the wee guy to bed and she was stuck in the room as the door handle wouldn't work 😂. I had to put a credit card under the door and tell her how to open the door with it. Marshmallow face was stood scratching her head and wiggling the handle murmuring "it's never done this before"

Best ask them if you can take a big jug into your room tonight. Just in case that chicken still has work to do.

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5 hours ago, IronJambo said:

It's been glorious for the last 17 months. Sadly, all good things come to an end and we arrived at my in-laws an hour or so ago. Old marshmallow face has something in the oven that probably used to resemble meat. There will be gravy which will fail badly to disguise the fact that this meat has been utterly destroyed. I'll have sneezing fits in 24 hours that will last for 2 days because I'm allergic to their house. If I try not to be an ignoramus then I'll be an expert on CIS *insert city by the time i leave. I will most likely be glued to my laptop with headphones on.

 

I'm a heathen aetheist but please can all the Mormons, scientologists, and Amish (😁😂) amongst us say a little prayer for me.

 

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23 hours ago, Lemongrab said:

Best ask them if you can take a big jug into your room tonight. Just in case that chicken still has work to do.

Big jug you say?

 

 

IMG_20210812_181527__01.jpg

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On 11/08/2021 at 21:11, IronJambo said:

My father-in-law was always very gutless and it seems he never ever had a backbone. Doesn't like "darkies, homosexuals, or those foreign types". He doesn't like them quietly though as he's scared to offend his own big toe. 

 

Anyway.... I've been here for 4 and a half hours and Marshmallow face (the mother-in-law) served up a surprisingly edible dinner that had chicken that was much wetter than anything you could expect from a 70 odd year old, unless of course you wish to count tena lady pants. However I kid you not, I've nearly shit my pants twice since. This woman just can't cook.

 

Quite a funny moment whilst I was writing this. Mrs IJ put the wee guy to bed and she was stuck in the room as the door handle wouldn't work 😂. I had to put a credit card under the door and tell her how to open the door with it. Marshmallow face was stood scratching her head and wiggling the handle murmuring "it's never done this before"

 

Wayne Rooney will be round shortly

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On 11/08/2021 at 21:52, Carl Fredrickson said:

 

I missed your Christmas tales last year. Glad to hear you are back on track :robboyas:


Agreed. Last Christmas felt a bit empty without his tales of woe :lol:

 

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I get that the face masks are not fun to wear, but is it so hard for folk to wear them in shops as is actually still the legislation?

 

I work in one, and have a mask on 8-9 hours a day, not asking a lot for you to wear one for 5-10 mins getting messages.

 

workies the worst offenders of the lot 

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Салатные палочки
19 hours ago, Deke Thornton said:

TV programmes unnecessarily fronted by some completely superfluous ‘celeb’ basically enjoying a paid holiday.

EG:

The Mekon with Sue Perkins

Tony Robinson’s World War 1

Brain Surgery with Alan Titchmarsh

How to be Effortlessly Annoying with Susan Calman 

Danny Dyer’s Quantum Physics

etc.

 

(OK I made a few up!)

 

 

"Walking With........" seems to be a big one these days. Usually in Cornwall. 

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William H. Bonney
20 minutes ago, Salad Fingers said:

 

"Walking With........" seems to be a big one these days. Usually in Cornwall. 


Walking on the M1 with Rylan is one I’d like to see. 

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1 hour ago, Deke Thornton said:

‘But it’s only a tiny minority of cyclists that are inconsiderate or who break the law’!

 

:rofl:

 

You do know cyclists are allowed on the road? 

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Samuel Camazzola
On 14/08/2021 at 11:06, Furious Styles said:


Walking on the M1 with Rylan is one I’d like to see. 

Harsh. I'm looking forward to the big man present us with the Premiership trophy come May. 

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luckyBatistuta

This council need ####ing emptied. One third the length of George street a bicycle lane now. A lovely dreamy sunny day too, how many of them do we get a year🙄 

1D036ADA-9B53-4C65-9C20-E6DC7EE83764.jpeg

Edited by luckyBatistuta
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I'm extremely disappointed with the lack of seethe over first day at school pictures this year. Has everyone gone soft during the lockdown? 

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luckyBatistuta
40 minutes ago, Salad Fingers said:

I'm extremely disappointed with the lack of seethe over first day at school pictures this year. Has everyone gone soft during the lockdown? 

Certainly wouldn’t be getting any from myself. Both my boys tested positive for COVID this morning just before they were  leaving. As if they haven’t missed enough school already due to all of this😞

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46 minutes ago, luckyBatistuta said:

Certainly wouldn’t be getting any from myself. Both my boys tested positive for COVID this morning just before they were  leaving. As if they haven’t missed enough school already due to all of this😞


Thats shit LB. Hope they’re both ok bud.

Covid really need to ******* do one now 😡.

 

My laddie missed the last week before the summer holidays due to someone in his class testing positive.

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luckyBatistuta
8 minutes ago, iantjambo said:


Thats shit LB. Hope they’re both ok bud.

Covid really need to ******* do one now 😡.

 

My laddie missed the last week before the summer holidays due to someone in his class testing positive.

All of us are not too bad at the moment. Think they might have got it at the trampolining they were at on Friday. Just no end in sight of this. It’s all the kids education I worry most about.

Edited by luckyBatistuta
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3fingersreid
15 hours ago, luckyBatistuta said:

This council need ####ing emptied. One third the length of George street a bicycle lane now. A lovely dreamy sunny day too, how many of them do we get a year🙄 

1D036ADA-9B53-4C65-9C20-E6DC7EE83764.jpeg

Going by that picture , Queen St is going to be a joy in future to drive along ( more like sitting still in one big traffic jam) 

 

13 hours ago, luckyBatistuta said:

All of us are not too bad at the moment. Think they might have got it at the trampolining they were at on Friday. Just no end in sight of this. It’s all the kids education I worry most about.

hope you and the kids are okay , don’t worry too much about getting an education , they can always become taxi drivers 😉

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18 hours ago, luckyBatistuta said:

This council need ####ing emptied. One third the length of George street a bicycle lane now. A lovely dreamy sunny day too, how many of them do we get a year🙄 

1D036ADA-9B53-4C65-9C20-E6DC7EE83764.jpeg

 

looks excellent

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3fingersreid
18 hours ago, luckyBatistuta said:

This council need ####ing emptied. One third the length of George street a bicycle lane now. A lovely dreamy sunny day too, how many of them do we get a year🙄 

1D036ADA-9B53-4C65-9C20-E6DC7EE83764.jpeg

Just had another look at this picture , see the 4 bikes that have stopped at the crossing ( yeah that’ll happen right enough) , see the twat in the recumbent bike ,blue top on, they bikes should immediately be banned from road use . Having a stupid triangular flag on a thin pole does not make it any easier to see them , I’d also ask why they’d want to be at a level with exhaust pipes whilst cycling about ? 

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luckyBatistuta
19 hours ago, iantjambo said:


Thats shit LB. Hope they’re both ok bud.

 

 

17 hours ago, Lord BJ said:


That’s not so good. Hopefully they won’t be bothered by it; outside missing school.

 

Like yourself will be glad when kid# education gets back to ‘normality’

 

6 hours ago, 3fingersreid said:

hope you and the kids are okay , don’t worry too much about getting an education , they can always become taxi drivers 

Cheers guys. Just had our results back from the test centre. Both my boys and myself have it, but my wife doesn’t. Told her that I’m not surprised, as COVID would be fearful of entering such an inhospitable environment 😂

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1 minute ago, luckyBatistuta said:

 

 

Cheers guys. Just had our results back from the test centre. Both my boys and myself have it, but my wife doesn’t. Told her that I’m not surprised, as COVID would be fearful of entering such an inhospitable environment 😂

at least you know covid is not getting a chance to kill you

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luckyBatistuta
2 hours ago, 3fingersreid said:

Just had another look at this picture , see the 4 bikes that have stopped at the crossing ( yeah that’ll happen right enough) , see the twat in the recumbent bike ,blue top on, they bikes should immediately be banned from road use . Having a stupid triangular flag on a thin pole does not make it any easier to see them , I’d also ask why they’d want to be at a level with exhaust pipes whilst cycling about ? 

Totally agree with banning these twats from being on the road. They should also do the same with these irresponsible parents who have the little extension on the back of their bicycles with a little kid waggling about behind them. Also these ones with a kid sitting in a little box at the front😡

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luckyBatistuta
2 minutes ago, milky_26 said:

at least you know covid is not getting a chance to kill you

:laugh2:
 

 I’m more worried about the ringing in my ears for the next 10 days😕

 

 

 

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10 minutes ago, luckyBatistuta said:

 

 

Cheers guys. Just had our results back from the test centre. Both my boys and myself have it, but my wife doesn’t. Told her that I’m not surprised, as COVID would be fearful of entering such an inhospitable environment 😂


 :lol:

 

And now we can add broken nose and severe internal bleeding To LB’s list of symptoms :rofl:

 

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luckyBatistuta
5 minutes ago, jonnothejambo said:

 

Hope you and your family recover soon. 

 

Your wife will be kept busy feeding you lot, doing dishes and sleeping in the garage....

 

Close, more likely we will all be punted to the garage pal

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luckyBatistuta
11 minutes ago, iantjambo said:


 :lol:

 

And now we can add broken nose and severe internal bleeding To LB’s list of symptoms :rofl:

 

:rofl:

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Yesterday I saw a cyclist (woman) with a kid on a seat in front of her handlebars another on a seat over the back wheel! She was struggling a bit and couldn't easily see the third child who was on a bike of its own as it was behind her.

 

Whe do parent when out with children on bikes not let the children go ahead of them so they can see and supervise them?

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luckyBatistuta
1 hour ago, Stuart Lyon said:

Yesterday I saw a cyclist (woman) with a kid on a seat in front of her handlebars another on a seat over the back wheel! She was struggling a bit and couldn't easily see the third child who was on a bike of its own as it was behind her.

 

Whe do parent when out with children on bikes not let the children go ahead of them so they can see and supervise them?

Seen quite a few doing that recently. Idiots, they can’t possibly give their child their full attention when they are in front of the child.

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Just seen a ridiculously obese woman on the BBC Scotland news bemoaning her children's "child poverty" and worry that they won't know where their lunch is coming from - Argh! There is no such thing as "child poverty" - it is parents failing their kids by spending their benefits/"entitlements" on fags, booze, drugs, designer clobber and rubbish food!

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11 minutes ago, Spellczech said:

Just seen a ridiculously obese woman on the BBC Scotland news bemoaning her children's "child poverty" and worry that they won't know where their lunch is coming from - Argh! There is no such thing as "child poverty" - it is parents failing their kids by spending their benefits/"entitlements" on fags, booze, drugs, designer clobber and rubbish food!

Nonsense. Ignorant nonsense.

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I started with the company I work with nearly 3 years ago now. The woman who left the company who I replaced was good friends with everyone with this office she used to return once or twice to have lunch with them with her daughter.

 

Fast forward 3 years my department are looking for a new staff member a perfect opportunity to bring someone new fresh faced in.

 

My manager announced this morning that the girl who left just before I started is coming back! She has interviewed no one and offered her the job right away as she believes in second chances ( she left to go RBS never worked out within the first 6 months and then became a carer)

 

So all the girls in the office are buzzing because their wee pal is coming back into the department they are going on about her as if the sun shines out her hoop. They are all away out on Saturday for drinks and shes going out with them. 

 

The Manager has taken the easy option not interviewed anyone for the postilion even said it herself that saves her interviewing . It's just sad and very amateurish bringing her pal back into the department. A few other staff members who were not keen on her said she will come back and think shes never been away will come back and think she runs the place. 

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Harry Potter

Couple of empty cans of red bull on my forecourt, product not working as they lack the energy

to put said cans in to the bin 2 yards away,  mind you we cant expect miracles from some folk.

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1 hour ago, Harry Potter said:

Couple of empty cans of red bull on my forecourt, product not working as they lack the energy

to put said cans in to the bin 2 yards away,  mind you we cant expect miracles from some folk.

😂 get them fined 

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Unknown user
On 01/08/2021 at 14:16, 3fingersreid said:

I agree the smell is disgusting , not sure the people smoking it realise that when they’ve finished it makes them stink too? 
I’m at my angriest regarding the smell when sitting behind or beside a vehicle and someone is smoking it and driving , no different from drink driving in my view and should receive a heavy punishment . 
 

 

 

On 01/08/2021 at 16:37, Salad Fingers said:

 

Yes! That is ridiculous. Seen a guy in his fifties at the beach a while ago who was in full leathers smoking a joint and getting back on his bike. Idiotic behaviour. 

 

I know it's tolerated a lot more these days but it seems to give people the impression they can just smoke it whenever and wherever they like. 

 

What if they're doing it legally?

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Unknown user
On 19/08/2021 at 20:08, Lord BJ said:

No 1 child says she has school prep to do and can she use my office/study. Now this is generally a no no in my household for all manners of reasons 

 

However, today I said yes. Mainly because I had to take the boy to a&e, as he had broke his finger.
 

Anyway I have just entered my office. Two ****ing school bags strewn across the floor. I can’t see my keyboard under papers at my desk. My meeting table is covered with about a hundred books.

 

I couldn’t figure out where the books had come from. Then I look at my bookshelves and they have been partially emptied and replaced with a variety of Lego she has been working on. 
 

I can’t even find the stuff I was working on before she went in. 

:seething:

 

 

😆

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3fingersreid
4 minutes ago, Smithee said:

 

 

What if they're doing it legally?

Doing what legally ? I’m not sure that the law on drug driving has been changed so I’d guess it’s still illegal ? 

Edited by 3fingersreid
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35 minutes ago, Smithee said:

 

 

What if they're doing it legally?

 

In what way is smoking a joint and driving a motorbike legal? I genuinely don't know. 

 

No matter the legality, it is still idiotic behaviour. 

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Unknown user
1 hour ago, 3fingersreid said:

Doing what legally ? I’m not sure that the law on drug driving has been changed so I’d guess it’s still illegal ? 

 

28 minutes ago, Salad Fingers said:

 

In what way is smoking a joint and driving a motorbike legal? I genuinely don't know. 

 

No matter the legality, it is still idiotic behaviour. 

 

If they have a prescription they're exempt from the rules on having it in their system. Of course it's in their system, it's supposed to be.

 

They're still responsible for their driving, but there's nothing stopping someone with a prescription smoking a joint while driving.

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4 minutes ago, Smithee said:

 

 

If they have a prescription they're exempt from the rules on having it in their system. Of course it's in their system, it's supposed to be.

 

They're still responsible for their driving, but there's nothing stopping someone with a prescription smoking a joint while driving.

 

1 minute ago, Lord BJ said:


Weed is legal in U.K. under prescription, there is an automatic statutory defence for thc in system if your are prescribed it. 
 

Now I personally wouldn’t want to test it and in no way am I promoting drug driving, no one should be driving under the influence if they are impaired 
 

However, people who are prescribed medical cannabis will almost find it impossible to pass a drug driving test if following prescription, even when not under influence. 
 

It is a medicinal substance in U.K. nowadays. 
 

I repeat in no way am I promoting anyone driving ‘high’.

 

Fair do's. I wasn't aware of the laws around medicinal cannabis. 

 

Some of the stuff these days though, I wouldn't even be able to turn the key in the ignition after a joint of that. 

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Unknown user
2 minutes ago, Salad Fingers said:

 

 

Fair do's. I wasn't aware of the laws around medicinal cannabis. 

 

Some of the stuff these days though, I wouldn't even be able to turn the key in the ignition after a joint of that. 

 

I think it's only with a proper prescription, which means only prescription weed and that'll at least be a known quantity, a known strain from a known provider.

They must know enough about whatever strain it is to decide the benefits outweigh the risks.

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3fingersreid
35 minutes ago, Smithee said:

 

 

If they have a prescription they're exempt from the rules on having it in their system. Of course it's in their system, it's supposed to be.

 

They're still responsible for their driving, but there's nothing stopping someone with a prescription smoking a joint while driving.

I think that’s at the far end of the truth spectrum 😂

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3fingersreid
35 minutes ago, Smithee said:

 

 

If they have a prescription they're exempt from the rules on having it in their system. Of course it's in their system, it's supposed to be.

 

They're still responsible for their driving, but there's nothing stopping someone with a prescription smoking a joint while driving.

I think that’s at the far end of the truth spectrum 😂

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