Jump to content

The all new "seethe" thread


cosanostra

Recommended Posts

9 minutes ago, jonnothejambo said:

 

Do a loud, rasping fart then blame the barrel. 

She would never do such a thing though, she doesn't pass wind. She has "values" that go further back than Queen Victoria. That means that she's a racist cow and thinks that men should always be dressed with a shirt and tie on and be clean shaven. The poor old weak minded bumbling fool that she's married to retired 30 years ago and still dresses like he's going to work in a drawing office. Whether at home, on a beach, or shopping in Tesco he's got his dress trousers on with a shirt and tank top on. The tie is missing these days and I can only assume it's because marshmallow face can't do it properly.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • Replies 20.5k
  • Created
  • Last Reply

Top Posters In This Topic

  • Morgan

    1497

  • Harry Potter

    731

  • iantjambo

    616

  • IronJambo

    586

Top Posters In This Topic

Posted Images

55 minutes ago, IronJambo said:

She would never do such a thing though, she doesn't pass wind. She has "values" that go further back than Queen Victoria. That means that she's a racist cow and thinks that men should always be dressed with a shirt and tie on and be clean shaven. The poor old weak minded bumbling fool that she's married to retired 30 years ago and still dresses like he's going to work in a drawing office. Whether at home, on a beach, or shopping in Tesco he's got his dress trousers on with a shirt and tank top on. The tie is missing these days and I can only assume it's because marshmallow face can't do it properly.

it sounds like you are missing them and are wanting them to visit soon

Link to comment
Share on other sites

1 hour ago, milky_26 said:

it sounds like you are missing them and are wanting them to visit soon

Not as much as everyone else on kickback wants them to visit.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

7 hours ago, IronJambo said:

She would never do such a thing though, she doesn't pass wind. She has "values" that go further back than Queen Victoria. That means that she's a racist cow and thinks that men should always be dressed with a shirt and tie on and be clean shaven. The poor old weak minded bumbling fool that she's married to retired 30 years ago and still dresses like he's going to work in a drawing office. Whether at home, on a beach, or shopping in Tesco he's got his dress trousers on with a shirt and tank top on. The tie is missing these days and I can only assume it's because marshmallow face can't do it properly.


I live for these posts. Wonder how long until they come to visit.........

Link to comment
Share on other sites

48 minutes ago, Helzibob said:


I live for these posts. Wonder how long until they come to visit.........

Yep, it's like the script of a 70's un-pc sit com!!!

 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Harry Potter
On 02/06/2020 at 16:50, IronJambo said:

I'm halfway through a fortnight off and the barrel phones the Mrs every day without fail. To make matters worse she's now got what's app and it's a daily video call. 

 

One minute I'm having a bit of peace and the next her big fat marshmallow face is getting shoved in my coupon to say hello. It wouldn't be so bad but she's got zero conversation. At least she doesn't fall asleep on the phone I suppose.

better than being in your house bud.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

19 hours ago, milky_26 said:

it sounds like you are missing them and are wanting them to visit soon

 

17 hours ago, superjack said:

Not as much as everyone else on kickback wants them to visit.

Coronavirus is my friend here 😁

Link to comment
Share on other sites

20 hours ago, Helzibob said:


I live for these posts. Wonder how long until they come to visit.........

 

Hopefully soon and then they self isolated at IJ's house for a fortnight before they have their actual holiday with him, their visits could stretch out to 6 weeks at a time

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Horatio Caine
26 minutes ago, Ribble said:

 

Hopefully soon and then they self isolated at IJ's house for a fortnight before they have their actual holiday with him, their visits could stretch out to 6 weeks at a time

Yep.  Boris says the England residents can travel about as much as they like now.  Family visit surely pending.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

3 hours ago, Horatio Caine said:

Yep.  Boris says the England residents can travel about as much as they like now.  Family visit surely pending.

Maybe IJ could set up a couple of webcams around the house and sell virtual season tickets. 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Horatio Caine
26 minutes ago, superjack said:

Maybe IJ could set up a couple of webcams around the house and sell virtual season tickets. 

The show could start with a chorus of `Roll out the Barrell`

Link to comment
Share on other sites

8 minutes ago, Horatio Caine said:

The show could start with a chorus of `Roll out the Barrell`

it could be called marshmallow head and the barrel

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Unknown user
On 02/06/2020 at 12:38, Bordeaux 03 said:

I think I'm now on my 4th roofer who hasn't turned up when they said they would to provide a quote. It continually happens with workies, it's so difficult to give them money!

@sadj aren't you a roofer?

Link to comment
Share on other sites

ELC waste collection calendar; 🟩 bin days are highlighted in 🟥

 

🟫 bin days are highlighted in 🟧

 

And 🟦 bin days are highlighted in 🟦, ***kin geniuses.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Local tip no accepting white goods.

 

Good yin. I'll just shove my old dishwasher up my arse will I? 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

1 minute ago, IronJambo said:

Local tip no accepting white goods.

 

Good yin. I'll just shove my old dishwasher up my arse will I? 

Do ANTIFA run your tip?

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Lockdown tv show binge watching has exposed a myriad of annoyances.

 

Actors "drinking" from obviously empty cups.

Actors ordering "a pint" or "a beer" from a bar with no further description of what beverage they want.

Actors hanging up the phone without saying goodbye or otherwise finishing the conversation like a civilized human being.

American shows always, always showing people trying to hit the Bullseye when showing a dartboard on screen as if it's feckin archery.

Actors who manage to drive a car without crashing even though they spend 95% of their time looking over at the passenger.

During a car chase, changing gear works like a rocket booster.

Car doors that are bulletproof even though they're made of thin aluminium and plastic. 

 

:seething:

Link to comment
Share on other sites

luckyBatistuta

Folk who don’t return things when you’ve been decent enough to let them borrow it. Only just thought of this after a certain movie was just posted on the iconic thread. Two separate special edition films, one being Once Upon A Time in America and the other Brotherhood of War. Over 20 years for one and over 10 years for the other...cheers #####🤬

Link to comment
Share on other sites

heartsfc_fan
1 hour ago, IronJambo said:

Local tip no accepting white goods.

 

Good yin. I'll just shove my old dishwasher up my arse will I? 

Is the dishwasher still usable? Somebody will take it.

 

My folks put an old tumble dryer that was left behind in the house they moved to. Popped it on gumtree and it was collected by somebody about 2 hours later.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

1 hour ago, Dawnrazor said:

Do ANTIFA run your tip?

I'm sure it's council run

16 minutes ago, heartsfc_fan said:

Is the dishwasher still usable? Somebody will take it.

 

My folks put an old tumble dryer that was left behind in the house they moved to. Popped it on gumtree and it was collected by somebody about 2 hours later.

It probably could've been fixed. I dropped it in the car park when I got it home though as I had picked it up badly and there was metal digging into my hand. I let it go rather than let it cut me. It's currently in a bike store and it'll be there until someone takes it/the tip can accept it.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

1 hour ago, Cade said:

Lockdown tv show binge watching has exposed a myriad of annoyances.

 

Actors "drinking" from obviously empty cups.

Actors ordering "a pint" or "a beer" from a bar with no further description of what beverage they want.

Actors hanging up the phone without saying goodbye or otherwise finishing the conversation like a civilized human being.

American shows always, always showing people trying to hit the Bullseye when showing a dartboard on screen as if it's feckin archery.

Actors who manage to drive a car without crashing even though they spend 95% of their time looking over at the passenger.

During a car chase, changing gear works like a rocket booster.

Car doors that are bulletproof even though they're made of thin aluminium and plastic. 

 

:seething:


They then proceed to leave the boozer leaving the pint untouched on the bar.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

12 minutes ago, iantjambo said:


They then proceed to leave the boozer leaving the pint untouched on the bar.

Only topped by the full spread at breakfast which all members of the family (bar one) are sitting down to...they’re running late so they grab a slice of toast or sip of coffee and bolt out the door.

 

The wife is usually always okay with it too.

 

If my Mrs is anything to go by 1) such a mealtime would never exist. 2) id probably have my ***** kicked in for her putting in the effort to be ultimately wasted.

 

I think I may have gotten something off my chest there...

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Actors in adverts pretending to eat something.

Once you know to look out for it you catch them at it all the time.

Usual suspects include a burger or apple which they pretend to take a huge big chomp out of. Bonus points for re-using the same stock "crunching into an apple" sound clip over and over again.

Or a smaller item that they pretend to pop in their mouth but palm like some shite kid's birthday party magician then roll nothing around in their mouth (complete with orgasmic eye rolling).

 

 

Edited by Cade
Link to comment
Share on other sites

Alcohol, marijuana, cocaine, heroin, LSD, MDMA and all other drugs make you act in the exact same way, according to scriptwriters/bad actors.

And you can get totally shit-faced in about 20 minutes flat.

 

 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

7 minutes ago, Cade said:

And you can get totally shit-faced in about 20 minutes flat.

 

And people can quite happily grab a bottle of straight spirits and gulp it down like it's water. Though I don't mind if it's done for laughs.

 

 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

1 hour ago, Cade said:

Alcohol, marijuana, cocaine, heroin, LSD, MDMA and all other drugs make you act in the exact same way, according to scriptwriters/bad actors.

And you can get totally shit-faced in about 20 minutes flat.

 

 

 

Only decent portrayal on tv of how bevvy affects most people i've seen recently is Liev Schreiber in Ray Donovan, plays drunk very well imho

Link to comment
Share on other sites

2 hours ago, Dawnrazor said:

Every phone number in America starts with "555" in every film.

And people in films and TV hardly ever use a mouse if they're using a computer. 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Samuel Camazzola
6 hours ago, Dawnrazor said:

Every phone number in America starts with "555" in every film.

I believe it's a prefix sequence of numbers that were allocated to the film industry as all 555 numbers wouldn't be connected to a network. 👍 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

2 minutes ago, Samuel Camazzola said:

I believe it's a prefix sequence of numbers that were allocated to the film industry as all 555 numbers wouldn't be connected to a network. 👍 

👍 There you go!!

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Samuel Camazzola
6 hours ago, Dawnrazor said:

 

👍

Edited by Samuel Camazzola
Duplicate
Link to comment
Share on other sites

Салатные палочки
10 hours ago, Tazio said:

 

And people can quite happily grab a bottle of straight spirits and gulp it down like it's water. Though I don't mind if it's done for laughs.

 

 

 

What gets me is in soaps, they always meet in the pub at lunchtime and has a few drinks before going back to work but yet none of them are half pished and fall asleep at their desk. I mean no one in Coronation Street accidentally sews their hand to a bra after necking three double gins on their break. 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Салатные палочки
9 hours ago, Ribble said:

 

Only decent portrayal on tv of how bevvy affects most people i've seen recently is Liev Schreiber in Ray Donovan, plays drunk very well imho

 

Gregor Fisher was pretty good in Rab C. 

 

 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Harry Potter

Picked my wife up from work , driving over clerry hill in the fog and this clown passes me with no lights on.

honestly its 8am and hardly light, but fog.☹️.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Sair back. I spent 20 minutes holding Frankenstein yesterday afternoon trying to get him down for his nap. Sat down and when I stood up ten minutes later I never really stood. "Walking" with the posture of a 90 year old man with a zimmer but without the zimmer. Making two flat whites at 8am totally bollocksed me. I'm one step short of useless. Ffs I'm almost my in-laws minus the stupidity/ignorance/ugliness (I guess the latter is a matter of opinion).

 

Can't wait for the Mrs to take the bairns out so I can go for a lie down.

Edited by IronJambo
Link to comment
Share on other sites

Horatio Caine
44 minutes ago, IronJambo said:

Sair back. I spent 20 minutes holding Frankenstein yesterday afternoon trying to get him down for his nap. Sat down and when I stood up ten minutes later I never really stood. "Walking" with the posture of a 90 year old man with a zimmer but without the zimmer. Making two flat whites at 8am totally bollocksed me. I'm one step short of useless. Ffs I'm almost my in-laws minus the stupidity/ignorance/ugliness (I guess the latter is a matter of opinion).

 

Can't wait for the Mrs to take the bairns out so I can go for a lie down.

Have you got a jug??

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Harry Potter

Again 2 cars with no lights on going over clerry hill, it was 7-15 and quite foggy.

Is this offence 3points, what is wrong with these people, a danger to others and themselves.

Since no one answered me yesterday im maybe making a fuss over nothing.☹️.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

1 hour ago, Harry Potter said:

Again 2 cars with no lights on going over clerry hill, it was 7-15 and quite foggy.

Is this offence 3points, what is wrong with these people, a danger to others and themselves.

Since no one answered me yesterday im maybe making a fuss over nothing.☹️.

 

You'll be properly illuminated, this will help reduce the risk of colliding with the dafties...💡

 

Every other  motorist apart from yourself is a ***king arsehole, so I was taught.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Harry Potter
53 minutes ago, OBE said:

 

You'll be properly illuminated, this will help reduce the risk of colliding with the dafties...💡

 

Every other  motorist apart from yourself is a ***king arsehole, so I was taught.

Ha Ha, there are a lot of decent drivers about bud but i seem to see the worst, just dont get this not

putting your lights on, you would think they are paying for them, crazy folk.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

22 hours ago, Horatio Caine said:

Have you got a jug??

A big yin in the spare room but I'm feart to touch it 🤮. It's going back to its owner soon as my 5 year old will be moving into that room in a few months. 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

3 hours ago, Harry Potter said:

Again 2 cars with no lights on going over clerry hill, it was 7-15 and quite foggy.

Is this offence 3points, what is wrong with these people, a danger to others and themselves.

Since no one answered me yesterday im maybe making a fuss over nothing.☹️.

My lights come on at times that I don't think I need them but I just leave them be. I reckon if I had a car that didn't put them on automatically I'd be driving around in the dark all the time now. 

 

I think DRL's and well lit car parks play a big part in this behaviour though. The instrument panel never used to light up until you at least put side lights on but I don't think it's like that now? It was a hint before that you had no lights on because you couldn't see the speedo.

 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Harry Potter
1 minute ago, IronJambo said:

My lights come on at times that I don't think I need them but I just leave them be. I reckon if I had a car that didn't put them on automatically I'd be driving around in the dark all the time now. 

 

I think DRL's and well lit car parks play a big part in this behaviour though. The instrument panel never used to light up until you at least put side lights on but I don't think it's like that now? It was a hint before that you had no lights on because you couldn't see the speedo.

 

Some folk are just clueless mate, and its not a few, i think they just jump in the car and switch the brain off.

As for folk driving to close to my rear, this will never change, clowns.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

jambosean75

DRL and light up dashboards are a menace as people think their lights are on but they're driving with no rear lights on in the dark

Link to comment
Share on other sites

2 hours ago, IronJambo said:

My lights come on at times that I don't think I need them but I just leave them be. I reckon if I had a car that didn't put them on automatically I'd be driving around in the dark all the time now. 

 

I think DRL's and well lit car parks play a big part in this behaviour though. The instrument panel never used to light up until you at least put side lights on but I don't think it's like that now? It was a hint before that you had no lights on because you couldn't see the speedo.

 

The wife's car has automatic lights. She had to phone me yesterday to ask how to put her fog lights on. She's only been driving for a year though.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

The amount of people putting posts on social media with them drinking and partying with people from other households. I know Nicola is likely to loosen restrictions this week but she’s not done it yet. Why can’t people just follow the rules? 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

7 hours ago, Lemongrab said:

The wife's car has automatic lights. She had to phone me yesterday to ask how to put her fog lights on. She's only been driving for a year though.

My Mrs done the same thing after we'd had this car for 2 years. She doesn't know how to use even half the functions in it.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

7 hours ago, IronJambo said:

My Mrs done the same thing after we'd had this car for 2 years. She doesn't know how to use even half the functions in it.

 

Same here, it's been pretty damp and humid up here the last couple. Inside her car was like a sauna, reset the A/C and all is good. The ignorance of some folk regarding the capabilities of the comfy warm/cool modern car is incredible. Love watching a full family car and a dug, all hanging out the windows fighting for a draft, when the inside temp can be controlled automatically. For some, the instruction manual is only opened when something ***ks up!

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.




×
×
  • Create New...