Sooperstar Posted May 1, 2020 Share Posted May 1, 2020 3 hours ago, Lemongrab said: A guy at work had similar symptoms a while back. We were all telling him he'd be in for some of the old finger up the hole treatment. But he only got antibiotics. I can feel the disappointment oozing from your keyboard. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
¼½¾ Posted May 1, 2020 Share Posted May 1, 2020 12 minutes ago, Sooperstar said: I can feel the disappointment oozing from your keyboard. Happy for him that it wasn't anything serious, but there was a certain amount of disappointment. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LeftBack Posted May 1, 2020 Share Posted May 1, 2020 Get the living room to myself. Few beers. Glass of wine. Xbox... Great. Wee game of tiger Woods. No played that for ages.... Disc unreadable.... Wtf..... Ffs Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
IronJambo Posted May 1, 2020 Share Posted May 1, 2020 29 minutes ago, LeftBack said: Get the living room to myself. Few beers. Glass of wine. Xbox... Great. Wee game of tiger Woods. No played that for ages.... Disc unreadable.... Wtf..... Ffs Give a clean and then give it a rub up with a dab of toothpaste Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LeftBack Posted May 1, 2020 Share Posted May 1, 2020 50 minutes ago, IronJambo said: Give a clean and then give it a rub up with a dab of toothpaste Did that. But anyway back to the xbox... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rudi Skacel Posted May 2, 2020 Share Posted May 2, 2020 Got two numbers and two stars on the Euromillions tonight, so 4 out of 7 numbers required. Not too bad, thinking maybe £30-£40. Nah, only £8.40. Crap! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Der Kaiser Posted May 5, 2020 Share Posted May 5, 2020 On 28/04/2020 at 14:38, Der Kaiser said: On my drive into work today and yesterday I would have thought the significantly less traffic would be more pleasant......I was wrong. Contrary to what I read people are driving more slowly.....like they want to fully appreciate the quieter roads for longer. Can these people **** off. Cyclists I've encountered are also enjoying the quieter roads...coasting slowly care free down the middle of roads two abreast. Can these people **** off. Pedestrians.....why are you walking in the road? I get you want to keep 2m from passing pedestrians but the road is for me and the pavement is for you. Can these people **** off. All these jokers were out again today! Also....are you an elderly gentleman who likes jogging near Hillend early in the morning? Social distancing is 2m....not 20m....next time you come off the payment to avoid pedestrians look behind you before you run into the middle of the road.....you were almost a hood ornament on my car you dozy git. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
luckyBatistuta Posted May 6, 2020 Share Posted May 6, 2020 WTF!!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
milky_26 Posted May 6, 2020 Share Posted May 6, 2020 LB you've been outed Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BM1874 Posted May 6, 2020 Share Posted May 6, 2020 Thornybauk/ Ponton Street lights coming from fountain park towards lothian road, absolute nightmare of a couple of sets of light, if one is red, the other is green, and vice Versa but it take unnecessarily long to get through them Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
¼½¾ Posted May 6, 2020 Share Posted May 6, 2020 55 minutes ago, BM1874 said: Thornybauk/ Ponton Street lights coming from fountain park towards lothian road, absolute nightmare of a couple of sets of light, if one is red, the other is green, and vice Versa but it take unnecessarily long to get through them For going round into Semple Street? My main gripe there is people using the wrong lanes. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tazio Posted May 6, 2020 Share Posted May 6, 2020 Idiots piling up sacks full of donations outside the charity shop near my house despite the massive sign in the window saying it’s closed until further notice. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
luckyBatistuta Posted May 6, 2020 Share Posted May 6, 2020 3 hours ago, milky_26 said: LB you've been outed Really wasn’t happy when I came on and saw that. A Rangers advert on JKB, a new fekn low that one. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
milky_26 Posted May 6, 2020 Share Posted May 6, 2020 1 minute ago, luckyBatistuta said: Really wasn’t happy when I came on and saw that. A Rangers advert on JKB, a new fekn low that one. at least it wasn't for a hibs season ticket Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
luckyBatistuta Posted May 6, 2020 Share Posted May 6, 2020 1 hour ago, milky_26 said: at least it wasn't for a hibs season ticket there is that I suppose Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
iantjambo Posted May 7, 2020 Share Posted May 7, 2020 See when you’re in a que and someone comes up to it and wants to skip to the front. They’ll ask the person at the very front of the que “I’m in a hurry, can I jump ahead of you?. If they agree then they’ll jump to the front of the que and won’t even bother asking the rest of the people waiting if they mind them jumping ahead of them. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
¼½¾ Posted May 7, 2020 Share Posted May 7, 2020 2 hours ago, iantjambo said: See when you’re in a que and someone comes up to it and wants to skip to the front. They’ll ask the person at the very front of the que “I’m in a hurry, can I jump ahead of you?. If they agree then they’ll jump to the front of the que and won’t even bother asking the rest of the people waiting if they mind them jumping ahead of them. Next time tell the person who let them in that they'll have to take the fellys place at the back of queue. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
iantjambo Posted May 7, 2020 Share Posted May 7, 2020 13 minutes ago, Lemongrab said: Next time tell the person who let them in that they'll have to take the fellys place at the back of queue. Have done this in the past. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tazio Posted May 7, 2020 Share Posted May 7, 2020 ****ing idiot neighbours have a load of pals at their house from this afternoon and they’re still all there having a wee party. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
IronJambo Posted May 8, 2020 Share Posted May 8, 2020 20 hours ago, iantjambo said: See when you’re in a que and someone comes up to it and wants to skip to the front. They’ll ask the person at the very front of the que “I’m in a hurry, can I jump ahead of you?. If they agree then they’ll jump to the front of the que and won’t even bother asking the rest of the people waiting if they mind them jumping ahead of them. In what seems like another life I worked for a shite supermarket. A woman that belonged with the travellers at Dale Farm in Essex used to come in and she'd always shove herself to the front of a queue in an aggressive manner shouting about her baby being in the car and can she go first. I let her do it a few times and then told her I wasn't serving her unless she joined the queue like everyone else. She threw her shopping on the floor and I never seen her again. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rousset1 Posted May 8, 2020 Share Posted May 8, 2020 3 hours ago, IronJambo said: In what seems like another life I worked for a shite supermarket. A woman that belonged with the travellers at Dale Farm in Essex used to come in and she'd always shove herself to the front of a queue in an aggressive manner shouting about her baby being in the car and can she go first. I let her do it a few times and then told her I wasn't serving her unless she joined the queue like everyone else. She threw her shopping on the floor and I never seen her again. Well played, my man. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cheetah Posted May 8, 2020 Share Posted May 8, 2020 Been laid up all week with some shitty virus. Anyone know of something going round? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
iantjambo Posted May 8, 2020 Share Posted May 8, 2020 1 hour ago, cheetah said: Been laid up all week with some shitty virus. Anyone know of something going round? Nothing springs to mind. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
iantjambo Posted May 8, 2020 Share Posted May 8, 2020 I was just on live chat with Vodafone as my iPad is due an upgrade. Did all the details. Picked my new package etc and the boy toddles off to put the order through. I then get disconnected and almost immediately reconnected and get told I would need to provide full name, bank account number etc for proof of address! Aye,nae bother pal. I was born yesterday right enough. Scummy **** Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Der Kaiser Posted May 21, 2020 Share Posted May 21, 2020 Having a catheter put in.......when you're awake. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Realzaragoza Posted May 21, 2020 Share Posted May 21, 2020 Hibs neighbours who ask me about relegation . Never see them for weeks after derbies , months after cup final. They need to be in lockdown for their own safety. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Салатные палочки Posted May 21, 2020 Share Posted May 21, 2020 Listening to Radio 6 this morning, they had a guy called Erland Cooper (personally I have never heard of him) who has composed a song using sounds "from lockdown" sent in by listeners. These included bird songs, a baby crying etc. All fair enough, I suppose. But my seethe is with the listeners texts after the played it. People saying that they held their partner in their arms during it, they stood at the window and looked at the outside world in silence., one said her and her partner held hands and cried. . No doubt they were holding a latte and stroking their beards at the same time. Hipster bullshit. It really wasn't that sad a song, in fact it was quite pish in all honesty. If you felt the need to cry during it you probably should visit your G.P. It's not Cats in the Cradle ffs. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
3fingersreid Posted May 21, 2020 Share Posted May 21, 2020 Fancied watching The Pacific on TV , just finished reading the book it’s based on , I’ve got the DVD’s but no idea where they are . Searched through both Netflix and Amazon prime ,found it , but the *******s want to charge for it , ffs it was on free TV years ago ,, robbing *******s 😡 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
¼½¾ Posted May 21, 2020 Share Posted May 21, 2020 1 hour ago, 3fingersreid said: Fancied watching The Pacific on TV , just finished reading the book it’s based on , I’ve got the DVD’s but no idea where they are . Searched through both Netflix and Amazon prime ,found it , but the *******s want to charge for it , ffs it was on free TV years ago ,, robbing *******s 😡 It's on Sky, I hadn't heard of it. Might give it a bash, cheers. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
iantjambo Posted May 21, 2020 Share Posted May 21, 2020 2 hours ago, Salad Fingers said: Listening to Radio 6 this morning, they had a guy called Erland Cooper (personally I have never heard of him) who has composed a song using sounds "from lockdown" sent in by listeners. These included bird songs, a baby crying etc. All fair enough, I suppose. But my seethe is with the listeners texts after the played it. People saying that they held their partner in their arms during it, they stood at the window and looked at the outside world in silence., one said her and her partner held hands and cried. . No doubt they were holding a latte and stroking their beards at the same time. Hipster bullshit. It really wasn't that sad a song, in fact it was quite pish in all honesty. If you felt the need to cry during it you probably should visit your G.P. It's not Cats in the Cradle ffs. What a load of absolute horse shit. How did the DJ not burst out laughing? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Morgan Posted May 21, 2020 Share Posted May 21, 2020 2 hours ago, Salad Fingers said: Listening to Radio 6 this morning, they had a guy called Erland Cooper (personally I have never heard of him) who has composed a song using sounds "from lockdown" sent in by listeners. These included bird songs, a baby crying etc. All fair enough, I suppose. But my seethe is with the listeners texts after the played it. People saying that they held their partner in their arms during it, they stood at the window and looked at the outside world in silence., one said her and her partner held hands and cried. . No doubt they were holding a latte and stroking their beards at the same time. Hipster bullshit. It really wasn't that sad a song, in fact it was quite pish in all honesty. If you felt the need to cry during it you probably should visit your G.P. It's not Cats in the Cradle ffs. What a load of absolute codswallop. It’s your latte and beard comment that really clinches it for me. Some folk. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
3fingersreid Posted May 21, 2020 Share Posted May 21, 2020 1 hour ago, Lemongrab said: It's on Sky, I hadn't heard of it. Might give it a bash, cheers. It’s the Pacific version of Band of Brothers , the books worth a read too , hope you enjoy it 👍🏻 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Салатные палочки Posted May 23, 2020 Share Posted May 23, 2020 The gf made coconut truffles today. Had one earlier and it was actually really good. Then about half an hour later I started coughing with something tickling my throat. A ******* bit of coconut flake is stuck in it. Coughed for about an hour solid until I was sick and it's still stuck in there. Between the baking constantly recently and now this, I'm convinced she's trying to do me in. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stuart Lyon Posted May 24, 2020 Share Posted May 24, 2020 9 hours ago, Salad Fingers said: The gf made coconut truffles today. Had one earlier and it was actually really good. Then about half an hour later I started coughing with something tickling my throat. A ******* bit of coconut flake is stuck in it. Coughed for about an hour solid until I was sick and it's still stuck in there. Between the baking constantly recently and now this, I'm convinced she's trying to do me in. Get her to slap your back its Bounty come out then. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BM1874 Posted May 24, 2020 Share Posted May 24, 2020 8 hours ago, Stuart Lyon said: Get her to slap your back its Bounty come out then. 🤣 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chubby1973 Posted May 25, 2020 Share Posted May 25, 2020 Kids greeting all weekend to go out and play in garden. Today, right wee go on your bikes, schoolwork then out the back. Nah, just want to play with lego. 🤨🤨🤨 Love them to bits, but will never work them out?!? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chubby1973 Posted May 25, 2020 Share Posted May 25, 2020 Kids greeting all weekend to go out and play in garden. Today, right wee go on your bikes, schoolwork then out the back. Nah, just want to play with lego. 🤨🤨🤨 Love them to bits, but will never work them out?!? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Салатные палочки Posted May 31, 2020 Share Posted May 31, 2020 That bloody Antti Niemi joke. It was funny when the guy first did it and maybe the few times afterwards I listened to it but does every internet comedian and their dad need to crack it every time his name is mentioned on social media and even post the YouTube link of the video just in case someone (unlikely) hasn't seen it? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jambos_1874 Posted May 31, 2020 Share Posted May 31, 2020 Anyone who says "Insta". Wankers. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Samuel Camazzola Posted May 31, 2020 Share Posted May 31, 2020 Anyone who signs off their e-mails with "Best" or "BR". Wankers! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Harry Potter Posted June 1, 2020 Share Posted June 1, 2020 8 weeks to send a sticker for my brown bin, as said before told them to forget it as i was missing 4 collections, an old moan but having to bag the hedge cuttings yesterday made me seeth.☹️ Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
¼½¾ Posted June 1, 2020 Share Posted June 1, 2020 Crows. They've decided to take up residence in trees near my house, and I can't take my dogs out for a walk without those gits swooping down at them (and me). Tempted to buy a baseball bat. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ribble Posted June 1, 2020 Share Posted June 1, 2020 2 minutes ago, Lemongrab said: Crows. They've decided to take up residence in trees near my house, and I can't take my dogs out for a walk without those gits swooping down at them (and me). Tempted to buy a baseball bat. Make sure you hit them then, pretty sure crows remember faces of anyone that has been cruel/nasty/aggressive towards them and will attack as soon as they see that person again, oh and they tell their pals too! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
¼½¾ Posted June 1, 2020 Share Posted June 1, 2020 1 hour ago, Ribble said: Make sure you hit them then, pretty sure crows remember faces of anyone that has been cruel/nasty/aggressive towards them and will attack as soon as they see that person again, oh and they tell their pals too! Ah, so it's a bat and a Boris Johnson mask I need. Someone would probably report me, if they saw he whacking them, so I guess I'll have to avoid them/put up with it, for however long it takes for their chick to fledge. I suppose kind of admire them, the way they're protecting their young. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OBE Posted June 1, 2020 Share Posted June 1, 2020 Anyone calling people wankers when partial to chug themselves...😁 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
IronJambo Posted June 1, 2020 Share Posted June 1, 2020 (edited) 8 hours ago, Lemongrab said: Crows. They've decided to take up residence in trees near my house, and I can't take my dogs out for a walk without those gits swooping down at them (and me). Tempted to buy a baseball bat. They must have eggs or young to protect. You'll be fine to walk by when the young ones are teenagers as their mum and dad will hate them by then. Edited June 1, 2020 by IronJambo Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
¼½¾ Posted June 2, 2020 Share Posted June 2, 2020 On 01/06/2020 at 10:39, Ribble said: Make sure you hit them then, pretty sure crows remember faces of anyone that has been cruel/nasty/aggressive towards them and will attack as soon as they see that person again, oh and they tell their pals too! I can just imagine them sitting there...good guy...good guy...good guy...w***...swoop. 17 hours ago, IronJambo said: They must have eggs or young to protect. You'll be fine to walk by when the young ones are teenagers as their mum and dad will hate them by then. No sign of them when I passed with the dogs at 10 last night. They must have been tucked up in their wee twiggy beds. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bordeaux 03 Posted June 2, 2020 Share Posted June 2, 2020 I think I'm now on my 4th roofer who hasn't turned up when they said they would to provide a quote. It continually happens with workies, it's so difficult to give them money! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
IronJambo Posted June 2, 2020 Share Posted June 2, 2020 I'm halfway through a fortnight off and the barrel phones the Mrs every day without fail. To make matters worse she's now got what's app and it's a daily video call. One minute I'm having a bit of peace and the next her big fat marshmallow face is getting shoved in my coupon to say hello. It wouldn't be so bad but she's got zero conversation. At least she doesn't fall asleep on the phone I suppose. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
milky_26 Posted June 2, 2020 Share Posted June 2, 2020 3 minutes ago, IronJambo said: I'm halfway through a fortnight off and the barrel phones the Mrs every day without fail. To make matters worse she's now got what's app and it's a daily video call. One minute I'm having a bit of peace and the next her big fat marshmallow face is getting shoved in my coupon to say hello. It wouldn't be so bad but she's got zero conversation. At least she doesn't fall asleep on the phone I suppose. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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