The all new "seethe" thread

[Ribble]

Nipped to tesco for Milk this morning, shop was pretty much dead with 2-3 other customers in, I've been served at the till by a guy wearing marigolds and as I turn to leave almost bump into the old codger stood right behind me.

 

Stupid old coot had the nerve to berate me as 'I am wearing glasses and should effing well be able to see where i'm going' took all my powers of restraint not to have a right go back at him, one the glasses to point behind me and secondly he shouldn't have been so bloody close in the first place!

[IronJambo]

Got an email from the boys after-school club telling us how great they've been doing since they closed and that most of their staff are on furloe now. They have a centre ready to open for kids of key workers and are just going to work out what fees they want to charge us for next month.

 

We're not treated as key workers (even though I am) at the boys school so he's not there or at after school club just now. We already paid for two weeks worth of care that he never had and that hasn't even been acknowledged. They can suck my hoop if they think I'm going to be paying them a fee for not having my kid.

[Салатные палочки]

Last night. 

 

Me: "What do you fancy for tea tonight? Chinese? Indian? Chippy?" 

 

Her: "I'm not bothered, whatever you want?" 

 

Me: "Well I'll eat anything so you can decide and I'll go and collect it". 

 

Her: "No you can choose. You always do this, make me choose" 

 

Me: "okay cool well Indian it is then." 

 

Her: "No I don't want an Indian I quite fancy a Chinese." 

 

Well say that then FFS!!

[milky_26]

23 minutes ago, Salad Fingers said:

Last night. 

 

Me: "What do you fancy for tea tonight? Chinese? Indian? Chippy?" 

 

Her: "I'm not bothered, whatever you want?" 

 

Me: "Well I'll eat anything so you can decide and I'll go and collect it". 

 

Her: "No you can choose. You always do this, make me choose" 

 

Me: "okay cool well Indian it is then." 

 

Her: "No I don't want an Indian I quite fancy a Chinese." 

 

Well say that then FFS!!

if you had said you fancied a chinese i bet she would have said naw i fancy a chippy/indian

[LeftBack]

53 minutes ago, Salad Fingers said:

Last night. 

 

Me: "What do you fancy for tea tonight? Chinese? Indian? Chippy?" 

 

Her: "I'm not bothered, whatever you want?" 

 

Me: "Well I'll eat anything so you can decide and I'll go and collect it". 

 

Her: "No you can choose. You always do this, make me choose" 

 

Me: "okay cool well Indian it is then." 

 

Her: "No I don't want an Indian I quite fancy a Chinese." 

 

Well say that then FFS!!

Spot on, thats a frighteningly accurate conversation. And substitute that for...Netflix....drinks.....etc!

[iantjambo]

1 hour ago, Salad Fingers said:

Last night. 

 

Me: "What do you fancy for tea tonight? Chinese? Indian? Chippy?" 

 

Her: "I'm not bothered, whatever you want?" 

 

Me: "Well I'll eat anything so you can decide and I'll go and collect it". 

 

Her: "No you can choose. You always do this, make me choose" 

 

Me: "okay cool well Indian it is then." 

 

Her: "No I don't want an Indian I quite fancy a Chinese." 

 

Well say that then FFS!!

This is definitely a woman thing 🤬🤬

[¼½¾]

3 hours ago, Salad Fingers said:

Last night. 

 

Me: "What do you fancy for tea tonight? Chinese? Indian? Chippy?" 

 

Her: "I'm not bothered, whatever you want?" 

 

Me: "Well I'll eat anything so you can decide and I'll go and collect it". 

 

Her: "No you can choose. You always do this, make me choose" 

 

Me: "okay cool well Indian it is then." 

 

Her: "No I don't want an Indian I quite fancy a Chinese." 

 

Well say that then FFS!!

 No doubt that will go down as her choosing again.    

[chubby1973]

4 hours ago, Salad Fingers said:

Last night. 

 

Me: "What do you fancy for tea tonight? Chinese? Indian? Chippy?" 

 

Her: "I'm not bothered, whatever you want?" 

 

Me: "Well I'll eat anything so you can decide and I'll go and collect it". 

 

Her: "No you can choose. You always do this, make me choose" 

 

Me: "okay cool well Indian it is then." 

 

Her: "No I don't want an Indian I quite fancy a Chinese." 

 

Well say that then FFS!!

My missus is exactly the same. Or she'll just say get your own, I'll not bother now. I usually get her favourite out the Chinese to piss her off 😎😁

[milky_26]

how much time would i end up serving if i killed my neighbour?

 

i only ask as one has decided to put his DJ equipment outside and have an impromptu disco at full volume. 

[3fingersreid]

1 minute ago, milky_26 said:

how much time would i end up serving if i killed my neighbour?

 

i only ask as one has decided to put his DJ equipment outside and have an impromptu disco at full volume. 

Water your garden , H2O and electricity aren’t the best of friends and it would be a shame if they met , wouldn’t it . It would also be an accident . 

[milky_26]

1 minute ago, 3fingersreid said:

Water your garden , H2O and electricity aren’t the best of friends and it would be a shame if they met , wouldn’t it . It would also be an accident . 

sadly he is across the road and down three or four houses

[Morgan]

1 hour ago, milky_26 said:

how much time would i end up serving if i killed my neighbour?

 

i only ask as one has decided to put his DJ equipment outside and have an impromptu disco at full volume. 

Would it be worth it if the prison sentence was 6 months?

 

 

[milky_26]

2 minutes ago, Morgan said:

Would it be worth it if the prison sentence was 6 months?

 

 

absolutely

[3fingersreid]

3 hours ago, milky_26 said:

sadly he is across the road and down three or four houses

Use a bloody big hose then 😂😂

[All roads lead to Gorgie]

I was out on my bike yesterday for a bit of exercise and to pick up some shopping at the same time. If anyone is on the pavement I always move further out on the road as I pass them, common sense at the moment! I did that whilst passing an older couple yesterday, meanwhile some oaf in full racing gear undertakes me on the inside very close to both myself and the couple on the pavement.  

On an other occasion a jogger with earphones on ran right passed me less than the two meters distant in a wide open park. Obviously his lap time of the park was more important than any thing else.

[Sooperstar]

Tik Tok. I ****ing hate it.

[All roads lead to Gorgie]

Having to pay full Vehicle tax right now when the car has hardly left the street in weeks and that is likely to continue for some time!

[Baldwigforjack]

On 21/04/2020 at 09:08, Sooperstar said:

Tik Tok. I ****ing hate it.

This.

[Салатные палочки]

On 21/04/2020 at 09:08, Sooperstar said:

Tik Tok. I ****ing hate it.

 

I just don't get it. I know it's supposed to be funny but it just isn't. 

[Салатные палочки]

Controversial but these videos of nurses, police, fire fighters, bin men, pharmacists etc dancing is beginning to wear thin. They're all busy and overworked right now but twenty of them can stop working and dance to some shite song for three minutes. 

 

I can't stand that stuff at the best of times. Because of who they are and the current climate we're supposed to be impressed. 

[I P Knightley]

On 09/03/2020 at 09:12, manaliveits105 said:

Piers Morgan having a rant because government ministers wouldnt appear on breakfast TV this morning to discuss corona virus with him - they might just have other things to do ya spangle (you should be behind bars anyway for authorising phone hacking not a highly paid celeb) - absolute cant 

I'm on JKB record with my views towards Piers Morgan (pie-face moron; should have done time; up his own hole; and many more).

 

However, in recent weeks I've been surprised to see that his tweets and interviews related to coronavirus have been spot on. Actually holding the politicians to account, unlike Peston and Kuenssberg. Apparently this morning he made a couple of thousand folk run greeting to OfCom complaining about him demanding a minister answered questions truthfully.

 

The fact that he's doing things which I find admirable is making me seethe with confusion.

 

I almost want him to do something utterly dickish, just so I know that there is some constancy in this world.

[manaliveits105]

Asking ministers and others questions he knows they cant answer and shouting at them when they don't is poor behaviour.

The government or  health executives cannot confirm how many health professionals have died for instance until the official figures have been released  and not like that idiot hold up a newspaper and shouting The Financial Times seems to know as if we can take as read everything thats printed in newspapers is 100% correct .Don't forget he savaged Sturgeon as well so its not just UK govt.

Hopefully he is on the radar for retribution when this ends if not before.

[Vlad Magic]

Not really seething as it’s quite funny.

 

Slightly annoyed perhaps?

 

Im currently banned from posting anything on Facebook because a scar on my elbow resembles a vagina.

 

I wasn’t aware it resembles a vagina because you cant physically see your own elbow. It was pointed out to me in the pub some years ago.

 

The Mrs pointed it out again at the weekend whilst hot tubbing so I took a more recent photo of it and posted it on FB.

 

Well the resemblance must be close because FB refused to post it as the automated recognition software identified it as a Poonanny. 
 

Today I received 2 official warnings and banned from posting for 24 hours for breaking their code of conduct over sexually explicit material!!

 

You couldn’t make it up 😂

[Stuart Lyon]

Woman (North American) in local shop that allows only 2 customers in at a time standing texting instead of doing her shopping. Then her debit card wouldn't work but to be fair that wasn't her fault the card reader was acting up!

[Spitonastranger]

14 minutes ago, Vlad Magic said:

Not really seething as it’s quite funny.

 

Slightly annoyed perhaps?

 

Im currently banned from posting anything on Facebook because a scar on my elbow resembles a vagina.

 

I wasn’t aware it resembles a vagina because you cant physically see your own elbow. It was pointed out to me in the pub some years ago.

 

The Mrs pointed it out again at the weekend whilst hot tubbing so I took a more recent photo of it and posted it on FB.

 

Well the resemblance must be close because FB refused to post it as the automated recognition software identified it as a Poonanny. 
 

Today I received 2 official warnings and banned from posting for 24 hours for breaking their code of conduct over sexually explicit material!!

 

You couldn’t make it up 😂

Useless without a photo

[Vlad Magic]

13 minutes ago, Spitonastranger said:

Useless without a photo

I can’t. I will get banned for posting pics of fannys. 

[Spitonastranger]

1 minute ago, Vlad Magic said:

I can’t. I will get banned for posting pics of fannys. 

😀

[milky_26]

3 minutes ago, Vlad Magic said:

I can’t. I will get banned for posting pics of fannys. 

but people post pics of hibs players regularly.

 

also can you not appeal the temp ban by showing it is your arm, say with a video that goes from full arm then zoomed into the slit?

[Vlad Magic]

3 minutes ago, milky_26 said:

but people post pics of hibs players regularly.

 

also can you not appeal the temp ban by showing it is your arm, say with a video that goes from full arm then zoomed into the slit?

I think I might need mod approval before posting.

 

 

[I P Knightley]

2 hours ago, Vlad Magic said:

I can’t. I will get banned for posting pics of fannys. 

I'm sure you could manage it tastefully and artistically.

Maybe cover up the clitoris?

[I P Knightley]

2 hours ago, Vlad Magic said:

I can’t. I will get banned for posting pics of fannys. 

In the absence of any pictures of Jack & Dannys, do you have any scars that resemble Whitesnake album covers at all?

 

 

 

Edited April 27, 2020 by I P Knightley

[JWL]

On 22/04/2020 at 15:14, I P Knightley said:

I'm on JKB record with my views towards Piers Morgan (pie-face moron; should have done time; up his own hole; and many more).

 

However, in recent weeks I've been surprised to see that his tweets and interviews related to coronavirus have been spot on. Actually holding the politicians to account, unlike Peston and Kuenssberg. Apparently this morning he made a couple of thousand folk run greeting to OfCom complaining about him demanding a minister answered questions truthfully.

 

The fact that he's doing things which I find admirable is making me seethe with confusion.

 

I almost want him to do something utterly dickish, just so I know that there is some constancy in this world.

 

Think you're okay there.

[Cade]

Internet problems

[¼½¾]

9 minutes ago, Cade said:

Internet problems

Virgin?  Mine went down about 5ish, but was only out for about 20 minutes max.

[Tazio]

5 minutes ago, Lemongrab said:

Virgin?  Mine went down about 5ish, but was only out for about 20 minutes max.

I posted on the other thread that all is good in EH4

Edited April 27, 2020 by Tazio

[Sooperstar]

EH4 and mine has gone down twice that I've noticed but only for short periods.

[Angel eyes]

On 12/04/2020 at 12:23, Salad Fingers said:

Last night. 

 

Me: "What do you fancy for tea tonight? Chinese? Indian? Chippy?" 

 

Her: "I'm not bothered, whatever you want?" 

 

Me: "Well I'll eat anything so you can decide and I'll go and collect it". 

 

Her: "No you can choose. You always do this, make me choose" 

 

Me: "okay cool well Indian it is then." 

 

Her: "No I don't want an Indian I quite fancy a Chinese." 

 

Well say that then FFS!!

Aye or her: you want to go for a walk?

             Me: aye if you want 

              Her: okay give 5minutes.......20 minuets later your still waiting to put on a fecking bobble hat, jaicket oh I’ve nae hankies......

              Me: where do you want to go.

              Her: please your sel am no fussed.

               Me: you wanted to go a walk?

               Her: no a didn’t, I’m just going we you!.........strewth give me strength 

[iantjambo]

3 hours ago, Angel eyes said:

Aye or her: you want to go for a walk?

             Me: aye if you want 

              Her: okay give 5minutes.......20 minuets later your still waiting to put on a fecking bobble hat, jaicket oh I’ve nae hankies......

              Me: where do you want to go.

              Her: please your sel am no fussed.

               Me: you wanted to go a walk?

               Her: no a didn’t, I’m just going we you!.........strewth give me strength 

Or she insists on going for a walk as “We never do anything together”. Then as soon as you’re out the door, she phones her pal and proceeds to gabber to her for the duration of the walk.

Edited April 28, 2020 by iantjambo

[Der Kaiser]

On my drive into work today and yesterday I would have thought the significantly less traffic would be more pleasant......I was wrong. 

 

Contrary to what I read people are driving more slowly.....like they want to fully appreciate the quieter roads for longer.

Can these people **** off.

 

Cyclists I've encountered are also enjoying the quieter roads...coasting slowly care free down the middle of roads two abreast.

Can these people **** off.

 

Pedestrians.....why are you walking in the road? I get you want to keep 2m from passing pedestrians but the road is for me and the pavement is for you.

Can these people **** off.

 

 

[Stuart Lyon]

1 hour ago, Der Kaiser said:

On my drive into work today and yesterday I would have thought the significantly less traffic would be more pleasant......I was wrong. 

 

Contrary to what I read people are driving more slowly.....like they want to fully appreciate the quieter roads for longer.

Can these people **** off.

 

Cyclists I've encountered are also enjoying the quieter roads...coasting slowly care free down the middle of roads two abreast.

Can these people **** off.

 

Pedestrians.....why are you walking in the road? I get you want to keep 2m from passing pedestrians but the road is for me and the pavement is for you.

Can these people **** off.

 

 

This may answer you question

https://www.edinburghnews.scotsman.com/news/transport/pop-cycle-lanes-and-widened-pavements-edinburgh-and-glasgow-2545363

[iantjambo]

1 hour ago, Der Kaiser said:

On my drive into work today and yesterday I would have thought the significantly less traffic would be more pleasant......I was wrong. 

 

Contrary to what I read people are driving more slowly.....like they want to fully appreciate the quieter roads for longer.

Can these people **** off.

 

Cyclists I've encountered are also enjoying the quieter roads...coasting slowly care free down the middle of roads two abreast.

Can these people **** off.

 

Pedestrians.....why are you walking in the road? I get you want to keep 2m from passing pedestrians but the road is for me and the pavement is for you.

Can these people **** off.

 

 

Strange but I’ve also encountered all three of these today.

 

Some doddery old bugger crawling down Old Dalkeith Road at under 20 mph (speed limit 30).

 

Almost ran down a cyclist at Davidson Mains, when he pulled out of a junction as I was still passing it. I was intending on parking up but couldn’t as I would’ve flattened the prick.

 

Granton Road. Arsehole woman walking her dog on the road, Arsehole woman walking up the middle of the road, arsehole woman pushing a pram on the road. All within about 200 feet of each other. Arseholes.

[iantjambo]

People who keep taking photos of people being out and posting their rage on Facebook.

 

YOU’RE OUT AS WELL YA DICK!

[Angel eyes]

2 hours ago, iantjambo said:

Or she insists on going for a walk as “We never do anything together”. Then as soon as you’re out the door, she phones her pal and proceeds to gabber to her for the duration of the walk.

And it starts raining and she says ‘ see I knew it would rain, that’s your fault’ 

[superjack]

Twice now in the last 2 weeks when clicking onto the shed the page took a bit opening. Went to click again, and both times hit the marked as read button.

Edited April 28, 2020 by superjack

[Joey J J Jr Shabadoo]

8 hours ago, Der Kaiser said:

On my drive into work today and yesterday I would have thought the significantly less traffic would be more pleasant......I was wrong. 

 

Contrary to what I read people are driving more slowly.....like they want to fully appreciate the quieter roads for longer.

Can these people **** off.

 

Cyclists I've encountered are also enjoying the quieter roads...coasting slowly care free down the middle of roads two abreast.

Can these people **** off.

 

Pedestrians.....why are you walking in the road? I get you want to keep 2m from passing pedestrians but the road is for me and the pavement is for you.

Can these people **** off.

 

 

The cyclists I've encountered are on the pavements, despite the roads being empty.

 

Pricks.

[scott herbertson]

On 27/04/2020 at 14:43, Vlad Magic said:

Not really seething as it’s quite funny.

 

Slightly annoyed perhaps?

 

Im currently banned from posting anything on Facebook because a scar on my elbow resembles a vagina.

 

I wasn’t aware it resembles a vagina because you cant physically see your own elbow. It was pointed out to me in the pub some years ago.

 

The Mrs pointed it out again at the weekend whilst hot tubbing so I took a more recent photo of it and posted it on FB.

 

Well the resemblance must be close because FB refused to post it as the automated recognition software identified it as a Poonanny. 
 

Today I received 2 official warnings and banned from posting for 24 hours for breaking their code of conduct over sexually explicit material!!

 

You couldn’t make it up 😂

 

 

They don't f%nny about, and I'm not surprised they gave you the elbow TBH

Edited April 28, 2020 by scott herbertson

[Tazio]

I’ve been in agony with the peeing equivalent of constipation the last day or so, now I’ve got the peeing equivalent of diarrhoea. 
 

Why can’t life be simple?

[Tazio]

4 hours ago, Barack said:

Kidney/bladder stones? Or something else Urethra Franklin?

 

I'd have a little chat with my GP, bud. Blockages are never something to ignore. 

I’ve been told it’s almost certainly a mild bladder infection and will clear itself up. It wasn’t the peeing that was painful but the sensation of being full constantly. 

[¼½¾]

4 minutes ago, Tazio said:

I’ve been told it’s almost certainly a mild bladder infection and will clear itself up. It wasn’t the peeing that was painful but the sensation of being full constantly. 

A guy at work had similar symptoms a while back. We were all telling him he'd be in for some of the old finger up the hole treatment. But he only got antibiotics. 

[Ribble]

On 28/04/2020 at 16:03, Stuart Lyon said:

This may answer you question

https://www.edinburghnews.scotsman.com/news/transport/pop-cycle-lanes-and-widened-pavements-edinburgh-and-glasgow-2545363

 

I could probably create a thread as long as this one about Adam McVey, yeah lets close roads so folk can walk on the roads next to a park?