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Samuel Camazzola
On 15/03/2020 at 13:18, IronJambo said:

Open the the fridge and there's milk leaking everywhere because the barrels left an open 6 pinter lying on its side. She then comes into the kitchen and tears open a couple of bread rolls over a placemat (ignoring she has a plate there). She then butters one roll on the placemat before putting it on the plate and devours the other one dry, over the placemat. These are crusty rolls. Crumbs everywhere! Don't start me on the wet tea bags that are all over the place!

Is the big jug out in all its glory? 😄 

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On 16/03/2020 at 12:34, Lemongrab said:

Oh, I don't know. The premedication, and talking about cashing in on it might not go down too well. He'd best hask the mods to do some deleting, or it could be 30.

Whoa hang on... Who's cashing in? I dinnae want their money. The mortician can use their money for embalming purposes for all I care. 

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13 minutes ago, IronJambo said:

Whoa hang on... Who's cashing in? I dinnae want their money. The mortician can use their money for embalming purposes for all I care. 

It was the money from the memoirs and film mentioned above I was on about.

 

Maybe the morticians would take a big jug in part payment. I'd imagine they use such things.

 

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Sorry @IronJambo, but your In-Law stories are the best things posted on Kickback.  I know it's hell for you, but I hope it never ends :lol: 

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This is directed at my Mrs for giving me false hope yesterday. She sent me this message whilst I was at work "Think my dad would like to get home tomorrow but it'll cost too much getting a new ticket".

 

I explained in great detail that it wouldn't cost too much, and that it would probably cost zero. I then get home (23:30) and chuck something in the oven. The barrels on the sofa watching nonsense on the TV.  I heard a four lettered word from the TV and I thought she'd turn it off but she never. She spoke about the "cost" and complications of going early before showing me an open ticket. An open ticket! She's got no restrictions on return. Nada! So really, selfish fatso just didn't want to go home.

 

She stayed up irritating me until half 12 before shuffling off. I didn't even get a chance to watch Better Call Saul before bed. 

 

There's always light though. I've spent most of today in bed with a cold and they go home tomorrow. There's a real fight going on in my head just now with the possibility I'll be dropping a dump in her handbag overnight. My 5 year old sometimes wakes up confused.......

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3 hours ago, jonesy said:


My in laws were due to fly over to stay with us from China earlier this month, flight cancelled. 
 

While I wouldn’t describe myself as pro-pandemic...

I'm jealous of your fortune. My pests are going home tomorrow at least 😁

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7 minutes ago, IronJambo said:

I'm jealous of your fortune. My pests are going home tomorrow at least 😁


You hope 😈 

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9 minutes ago, IronJambo said:

I'm jealous of your fortune. My pests are going home tomorrow at least 😁

boo, how am i going to get through this crisis without your updates

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1 hour ago, iantjambo said:


You hope 😈 

Mate, I'd give one of the struggling cabbies on here a grand in cash to drive down and take them away. Don't even care if they get them home. Anywhere North of Spaghetti junction will suffice!

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Harry Potter
12 hours ago, IronJambo said:

I'm jealous of your fortune. My pests are going home tomorrow at least 😁

Pests, bet you love them, 🙂.

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1 hour ago, Harry Potter said:

Pests, bet you love them, 🙂.

 

 

 

Yep. I love people that shave on my sofa and in the hall. I love people that seem to be able to make the biggest mess possible. I love pishy jugs being left inmy spare room. I love old lady tights hanging on the towel radiator in the family bathroom. I love that the most inane crap is constantly on the TV and that anything with a swear word or the slightest bit of nudity will offend someone. I love that they're here under the pretence of helping my Mrs with our newborn when actually they need constant care themselves. I love wet tea bags everywhere. I love that they can't use the buttons for the TV except for when it suits them. I love that dinner every night is some form of overcooked meat with gravy and potatoes. Driving them to the train station in 5 minutes. I love that he doesn't have a backbone. I'm driving them to the train station in 5 minutes, it's going to be a momentous moment when I drive out the car park.

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18 minutes ago, IronJambo said:

 

 

 

Yep. I love people that shave on my sofa and in the hall. I love people that seem to be able to make the biggest mess possible. I love pishy jugs being left inmy spare room. I love old lady tights hanging on the towel radiator in the family bathroom. I love that the most inane crap is constantly on the TV and that anything with a swear word or the slightest bit of nudity will offend someone. I love that they're here under the pretence of helping my Mrs with our newborn when actually they need constant care themselves. I love wet tea bags everywhere. I love that they can't use the buttons for the TV except for when it suits them. I love that dinner every night is some form of overcooked meat with gravy and potatoes. Driving them to the train station in 5 minutes. I love that he doesn't have a backbone. I'm driving them to the train station in 5 minutes, it's going to be a momentous moment when I drive out the car park.

Heard all trains are cancelled.

#prayforij.

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1 hour ago, superjack said:

Heard all trains are cancelled.

#prayforij.

i heard his car has broken down and there are no taxis available 

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Harry Potter
5 hours ago, IronJambo said:

 

 

 

Yep. I love people that shave on my sofa and in the hall. I love people that seem to be able to make the biggest mess possible. I love pishy jugs being left inmy spare room. I love old lady tights hanging on the towel radiator in the family bathroom. I love that the most inane crap is constantly on the TV and that anything with a swear word or the slightest bit of nudity will offend someone. I love that they're here under the pretence of helping my Mrs with our newborn when actually they need constant care themselves. I love wet tea bags everywhere. I love that they can't use the buttons for the TV except for when it suits them. I love that dinner every night is some form of overcooked meat with gravy and potatoes. Driving them to the train station in 5 minutes. I love that he doesn't have a backbone. I'm driving them to the train station in 5 minutes, it's going to be a momentous moment when I drive out the car park.

Sorry bud, i maybe got it wrong, take care.

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1 hour ago, Harry Potter said:

Sorry bud, i maybe got it wrong, take care.

Maybe??

 

:cornette:

 

 

 

:rofl: 

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luckyBatistuta
12 hours ago, milky_26 said:

i heard his car has broken down and there are no taxis available 

🙋🏼‍♂️ are they still there, I’m available and willing to drive the lot of them back to IJ’s house, free of charge...the things I do for all you guys on here.

4 hours ago, Dawnrazor said:

I thought Ozark started tonight on Netflix, another 8 days yet😡😡😥😥

Yeah, seems to have been an eternity for this new season to arrive, can’t wait for it.

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Up at 6.00 just to get in the toilet roll queue 

:cornette:

Even local cafes are closed. No early breakfast for me. 

Haven't seen anything like this since the fuel crisis.

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6 minutes ago, Marvin said:

Up at 6.00 just to get in the toilet roll queue 

:cornette:

Even local cafes are closed. No early breakfast for me. 

Haven't seen anything like this since the fuel crisis.

I know, I'm just about to head up town for our weekly shop. Tesco do and hour, 9 to 10, 3 days a week for the elderly and vulnerable, problem being shop is open for 3 hours prior to this so the shelves are bare. Apparently have a session on sundays for NHS staff? Not up here in stornoway, how dare they open a shop on the sabbath.

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Back from Sainsbury's and queued for half an hour to be allowed in by a spotty 16 year old, only to discover the shelves are bare. There was an older lady in tears because she was unable to buy the bare essentials. The store was as busy as it was during Xmas period.

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Салатные палочки

Some daft bint right up my arse almost all the way to work this morning.  What annoyed me the most is that we had miles and miles of national speed limit road in which she could overtake but continued up my arse.  I was early so was in no rush to get to work.  The funny thing though is she waited until a 50mph bit of bendy road to overtake,  her intention to obviously overtake me and the bus in front but as we were approaching a tight turn, she immediately sandwiched herself in between me and the bus where she stayed until I got to work.  Total waste of her time the arsehole.  

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Unknown user
23 hours ago, Helzibob said:

Everyone wishing their mothers happy Mother’s Day on Facebook when their mother isn’t even on Facebook. 

👆 👍

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Harry Potter
3 hours ago, Salad Fingers said:

Some daft bint right up my arse almost all the way to work this morning.  What annoyed me the most is that we had miles and miles of national speed limit road in which she could overtake but continued up my arse.  I was early so was in no rush to get to work.  The funny thing though is she waited until a 50mph bit of bendy road to overtake,  her intention to obviously overtake me and the bus in front but as we were approaching a tight turn, she immediately sandwiched herself in between me and the bus where she stayed until I got to work.  Total waste of her time the arsehole.  

Some folk just cant drive mate, loads in Edinburgh im afraid.

Passed one with no lights on at 7pm last night, :huh:.

Maybe they think the battery will drain with them on, clueless people.

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On 22/03/2020 at 11:44, Helzibob said:

Everyone wishing their mothers happy Mother’s Day on Facebook when their mother isn’t even on Facebook.

Or even still alive.

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5 minutes ago, Helzibob said:


Yep. I did see a few “happy heavenly Mother’s Day” posts. 🤬

Quite ridiculous.

 

 

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luckyBatistuta

And now I’m in the doghouse. You would think forgetting to enter us in the Cash Register was the crime of the century🤬

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it looks like i need to go into work on monday (currently on leave) and test upgrades IT are doing and if it affects our systems.

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luckyBatistuta

My lad was just sitting playing a game on his iPad and a message came up saying someone was trying to log in to his account from Mombasa🤬

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Working for a retail company that is non essential but has managed to designate itself as such and then having to take shite from customers because a toy for their grandbairns birthday hasn’t showed up because of a supply issue. 
 

Don’t think these arseholes really understand what’s going on here

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Working for a retail company that is non essential but has managed to designate itself as such and then having to take shite from customers because a toy for their grandbairns birthday hasn’t showed up because of a supply issue. 
 

Don’t think these arseholes really understand what’s going on here

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It's bloody freezing so the heating is on full blast, just what is needed when we're all stuck indoors all day. Fuel bills are going to be huge.

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Why do Americans call NFL 'football' when nobody foots or kicks the ball except just one guy who is called the kicker? 

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17 minutes ago, JackLadd said:

Why do Americans call NFL 'football' when nobody foots or kicks the ball except just one guy who is called the kicker? 

It originated as a form of Rugby Football.

 

Association Football became Soccer, or what civilised nations call Football. 

 

 

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1 hour ago, Cade said:

It originated as a form of Rugby Football.

 

Association Football became Soccer, or what civilised nations call Football. 

 

 

 

At least Australians call their version Aussie Rules and not Football. Americans have a unique arrogance and stupidity. 

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8 hours ago, JackLadd said:

 

At least Australians call their version Aussie Rules and not Football. Americans have a unique arrogance and stupidity. 

Just like their world series of base ball that only has them in it

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Having to nip to Tesco, so go outside and find my back tyre completely flat. I could’ve wept!

 

My own fault, I’ve had a slow puncture for a few weeks and kept putting off getting it repaired and was just putting air in whenever it needed it. It only took 10 minutes to change but it’s a lesson learned.

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Harry Potter
15 hours ago, Tazio said:

It's bloody freezing so the heating is on full blast, just what is needed when we're all stuck indoors all day. Fuel bills are going to be huge.

New kitchen done and gas cooker installed instead of electric, its like night and day.

Electric costs a fortune and the oven element only lasts months , never again.

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Nookie Bear
2 hours ago, milky_26 said:

Just like their world series of base ball that only has them in it

 

Pedant alert: it is namd World Series because the original finals were sponsored by the New York World Telegram newspaper.

 

Still very convenient, of course.

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2 hours ago, milky_26 said:

Just like their world series of base ball that only has them in it

Blue Jays?

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