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The all new "seethe" thread


cosanostra

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1 hour ago, IronJambo said:

To avoid confusion, I didn't mean either of the above with "reverse poo". I'm not a complete animal. 

 

I meant do a dump in her toilet whilst sat on the seat facing the wrong way round. The resulting jobby will slide all the way down the front part of the inside of the bowl, leaving a nice mess behind. Left alone for a few hours it's not a nice or easy clean up. 

 

An A.C. Slater? 

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1 hour ago, iantjambo said:

 

Yeah,yeah,yeah...More to the point, are the in-laws visiting for Christmas? :D

 

They've just been here for the wee man's birthday. I was rather restrained because I was quite unwell. 

 

Her old man does my nut in. Lost sight in ONE eye a couple of years ago. His other eye is fine. Pretends he can't see and walks around with his arms in front of him. Apparently can't see a cup of tea that's an arms length away. I was fitting the TV on the wall and when levelling it up I was asking for opinions on how straight it was and which way it needed adjusting. Her mum said nothing as she only got a big mouth when she's not even nearly being helpful. Her dad pipes up that it's straight and needs no more adjusting. He's ten feet from the TV. I tell him to be quiet because he can't even see his hands. The telly didn't need any more adjusting and was indeed straight. Hamming Prick. 

 

The big jug has accumulated kit. It seems it doesn't get used though as there's always piss on the seat when he's in the bathroom. Still, at least there was always a pair of tights on the towel radiator to mop it up with. And lights. Every frickin light was always on. 

 

I'm still falling over sweeties that she's left behind. Celebrations, heroes, maltesers...... I don't know how the fat cow doesn't have diabetes. 

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1 hour ago, IronJambo said:

They've just been here for the wee man's birthday. I was rather restrained because I was quite unwell. 

 

Her old man does my nut in. Lost sight in ONE eye a couple of years ago. His other eye is fine. Pretends he can't see and walks around with his arms in front of him. Apparently can't see a cup of tea that's an arms length away. I was fitting the TV on the wall and when levelling it up I was asking for opinions on how straight it was and which way it needed adjusting. Her mum said nothing as she only got a big mouth when she's not even nearly being helpful. Her dad pipes up that it's straight and needs no more adjusting. He's ten feet from the TV. I tell him to be quiet because he can't even see his hands. The telly didn't need any more adjusting and was indeed straight. Hamming Prick. 

 

The big jug has accumulated kit. It seems it doesn't get used though as there's always piss on the seat when he's in the bathroom. Still, at least there was always a pair of tights on the towel radiator to mop it up with. And lights. Every frickin light was always on. 

 

I'm still falling over sweeties that she's left behind. Celebrations, heroes, maltesers...... I don't know how the fat cow doesn't have diabetes. 

 

Disappointed that you didn’t inform us of this visit earlier :(

 

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2 hours ago, IronJambo said:

They've just been here for the wee man's birthday. I was rather restrained because I was quite unwell. 

 

Her old man does my nut in. Lost sight in ONE eye a couple of years ago. His other eye is fine. Pretends he can't see and walks around with his arms in front of him. Apparently can't see a cup of tea that's an arms length away. I was fitting the TV on the wall and when levelling it up I was asking for opinions on how straight it was and which way it needed adjusting. Her mum said nothing as she only got a big mouth when she's not even nearly being helpful. Her dad pipes up that it's straight and needs no more adjusting. He's ten feet from the TV. I tell him to be quiet because he can't even see his hands. The telly didn't need any more adjusting and was indeed straight. Hamming Prick. 

 

The big jug has accumulated kit. It seems it doesn't get used though as there's always piss on the seat when he's in the bathroom. Still, at least there was always a pair of tights on the towel radiator to mop it up with. And lights. Every frickin light was always on. 

 

I'm still falling over sweeties that she's left behind. Celebrations, heroes, maltesers...... I don't know how the fat cow doesn't have diabetes. 

I bet the wee man loves them. There will probably be a big jug on his Christmas list.

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1 hour ago, iantjambo said:

 

Disappointed that you didn’t inform us of this visit earlier :(

 

Apologies. I've not been on here much in the last month due to being battered with man flu and labyrinthitis. The latter was great, felt like I was 5 pints deep every time I stood up. Not so keen on the tinnitus it's left behind though.

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1 hour ago, iantjambo said:

The Chase has been replaced by some shite called Cash Trapped!

 

🤬🤬🤬

It looks shite at first ,It’s not that bad if you give it a chance.

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Horatio Caine
4 hours ago, iantjambo said:

The Chase has been replaced by some shite called Cash Trapped!

 

🤬🤬🤬

You have to watch it to understand how it works but it's quite clever and there's much more to it than your standard quizes.  It's apparently Walsh's own idea.  I like it.  It's one of the very few quizes i would ever consider going on.

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Currently seething at the greed of people in the hotel I'm staying in. Filling plates up with a huge portion, eating only half then going back for more food, again not eating all of it. Sitting in the centre of London, homeless people everywhere and people in here wasting mountains of food! 

 

That's my save the people/environment rant of the day done 😄

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Captain Sausage

Mrs has her pal round for dinner. 
 

Tell me they want steaks. I stick the hot plate on and prep the steaks. As I’m sticking them on the plate, they inform me they want them well done, so that’s my timings ****ed. 
 

End up with my steak resting for too long and going cold, while their arid burnt pieces of shit weren’t cooked enough for them. 
 

I am a shite chef, but I can cook a nice steak. Last minute curveballs have ruined my Saturday dinner. And her pal brought round profiteroles for pudding. I ****ing hate profiteroles. 
 

**** off. 

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21 minutes ago, Captain Sausage said:

Mrs has her pal round for dinner. 
 

Tell me they want steaks. I stick the hot plate on and prep the steaks. As I’m sticking them on the plate, they inform me they want them well done, so that’s my timings ****ed. 
 

End up with my steak resting for too long and going cold, while their arid burnt pieces of shit weren’t cooked enough for them. 
 

I am a shite chef, but I can cook a nice steak. Last minute curveballs have ruined my Saturday dinner. And her pal brought round profiteroles for pudding. I ****ing hate profiteroles. 
 

**** off. 

 

Well done steaks :vrface:

 

Ruined. 

 

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Dagger Is Back

Ru Paul’s Drag Race

The infuriating increase in the use of like and literally in language

Strictly

Jonathan Ross 

Graham Norton

Trump

Boris

Hearts

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Samuel Camazzola
2 hours ago, Captain Sausage said:

Mrs has her pal round for dinner. 
 

Tell me they want steaks. I stick the hot plate on and prep the steaks. As I’m sticking them on the plate, they inform me they want them well done, so that’s my timings ****ed. 
 

End up with my steak resting for too long and going cold, while their arid burnt pieces of shit weren’t cooked enough for them. 
 

I am a shite chef, but I can cook a nice steak. Last minute curveballs have ruined my Saturday dinner. And her pal brought round profiteroles for pudding. I ****ing hate profiteroles. 
 

**** off. 

Tell her to find new pals if they are wasting good meat by requesting that. 

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2 hours ago, Ray Gin said:

 

Well done steaks :vrface:

 

Ruined. 

 

 

I’m not a food snob by any stretch of the imagination. Until it comes to steaks.

 

I genuinely fume when people ask for them to be cooked well done.

 

”Here’s a cracking piece of meat. Now cook the utter **** out of it”

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3 hours ago, Ray Gin said:

 

Well done steaks :vrface:

 

Ruined. 

 

My father-in-law says he can't taste the difference between any beer/lager. Then he'll go and order the most expensive pint on the menu along with a well done fillet steak. Grade A *****.

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on my way home from work today i spotted two houses that have christmas decorations up with lights in their windows etc. it is not even december yet

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On 23/11/2019 at 10:23, Captain Sausage said:

Mrs has her pal round for dinner. 
 

Tell me they want steaks. I stick the hot plate on and prep the steaks. As I’m sticking them on the plate, they inform me they want them well done, so that’s my timings ****ed.

 

:what:

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Not in work this week. The Mrs has decided to ruin Thursday but taking the day off and has dragged me out Christmas shopping. Ffs. Dying in Smyths right now.

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On 23/11/2019 at 17:23, Captain Sausage said:

Mrs has her pal round for dinner. 
 

Tell me they want steaks. I stick the hot plate on and prep the steaks. As I’m sticking them on the plate, they inform me they want them well done, so that’s my timings ****ed. 
 

End up with my steak resting for too long and going cold, while their arid burnt pieces of shit weren’t cooked enough for them. 
 

I am a shite chef, but I can cook a nice steak. Last minute curveballs have ruined my Saturday dinner. And her pal brought round profiteroles for pudding. I ****ing hate profiteroles. 
 

**** off. 

 

I'd have ****ing well microwaved their steaks so mines was still hot by the time they were chomping into their leather on a plate, tramps wouldn't have known the difference anyway

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Major roadworks at Gayfield , so which prick in the council okayed the road works at the west end of Queen street as well ? Arseholes the ****ing lot of them .

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2 minutes ago, 3fingersreid said:

Major roadworks at Gayfield , so which prick in the council okayed the road works at the west end of Queen street as well ? Arseholes the ****ing lot of them .

 

Deliberately done to piss everyone off. I'd empty the lot of them, amateurs in every department. Yellow vest protest anyone?...thought not.

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10 minutes ago, Old Blue Eyes said:

 

Deliberately done to piss everyone off. I'd empty the lot of them, amateurs in every department. Yellow vest protest anyone?...thought not.

Or stop voting for the same ****ing idiots 

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2 hours ago, IronJambo said:

Not in work this week. The Mrs has decided to ruin Thursday but taking the day off and has dragged me out Christmas shopping. Ffs. Dying in Smyths right now.

Looking for a 'My First Big Jug' by any chance?

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26 minutes ago, 3fingersreid said:

Or stop voting for the same ****ing idiots 

 

Other ****ing idiots with idle promises are waiting patiently for your vote...politics are fecked, have been for a long long time.

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3 minutes ago, FWJ said:

People that park right at the entrance to a car wash and then saunter into the kiosk to pay for it blocking it for those who pay first.

Yes!! This brings on the Michael Douglas in me!

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1 hour ago, FWJ said:

People that park right at the entrance to a car wash and then saunter into the kiosk to pay for it blocking it for those who pay first.

Have done this once and would again. 

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Салатные палочки

You good people in the East get the lovely Emma Cameron presenting the news, we in the west get egghead John. 

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The Future's Maroon
On 14/11/2019 at 18:56, IronJambo said:

To avoid confusion, I didn't mean either of the above with "reverse poo". I'm not a complete animal. 

 

I meant do a dump in her toilet whilst sat on the seat facing the wrong way round. The resulting jobby will slide all the way down the front part of the inside of the bowl, leaving a nice mess behind. Left alone for a few hours it's not a nice or easy clean up. 

 

Talking from experience I’m guessing?!
 

 

On 28/11/2019 at 11:45, Old Blue Eyes said:

 

Deliberately done to piss everyone off. I'd empty the lot of them, amateurs in every department. Yellow vest protest anyone?...thought not.


The idiots up top/in charge I will agree with, however to say amateurs in every dept is a little wrong, I know plenty, good, hard working people within the Cooncil.

 

Some of the management and senior staff/Councillors yes I agree 100% (I deal with them on a daily basis unfortunately), not fair to tar all staff with the shit stick though 😉 

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1 hour ago, The Future's Maroon said:

 

Talking from experience I’m guessing?!
 

 


The idiots up top/in charge I will agree with, however to say amateurs in every dept is a little wrong, I know plenty, good, hard working people within the Cooncil.

 

Some of the management and senior staff/Councillors yes I agree 100% (I deal with them on a daily basis unfortunately), not fair to tar all staff with the shit stick though 😉 

 

My generalisation was wrong. It's shameful that the competents are being run by idiots.

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2 hours ago, The Future's Maroon said:

 

Talking from experience I’m guessing?!
 

 


The idiots up top/in charge I will agree with, however to say amateurs in every dept is a little wrong, I know plenty, good, hard working people within the Cooncil.

 

Some of the management and senior staff/Councillors yes I agree 100% (I deal with them on a daily basis unfortunately), not fair to tar all staff with the shit stick though 😉 

 

I've dealt with half the councils in scotland professionally and Edinburgh Council in my personal life, not once have I come across a single person that I would call competent at their job, there are no doubt some otherwise the doors would be shut by now but I'm yet to meet them.

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4 hours ago, The Future's Maroon said:

 

Talking from experience I’m guessing?!
 

 

😉

A couple of decades ago 🤣

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Ads on Kickback are driving me insane. 

 

On mobile, they don't load at the same time as the page content, meaning you're about to click on a thread, and then suddenly it's moved a few centimetres because some ****ing advert has decided to load. 

 

Also, none of my adverts are any good and are all for utter shite I have no interest in. My browsing history should mean I at least get some half decent ones... :(

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6 minutes ago, tian447 said:

Ads on Kickback are driving me insane. 

 

On mobile, they don't load at the same time as the page content, meaning you're about to click on a thread, and then suddenly it's moved a few centimetres because some ****ing advert has decided to load. 

 

Also, none of my adverts are any good and are all for utter shite I have no interest in. My browsing history should mean I at least get some half decent ones... :(

I treat it as a challenge, try to click on your next page before the bad loads. It does mean I end up on a lot of people’s profile pages thus making me look like a stalker. Ah well, it also gives me an almost valid excuse.

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1 minute ago, superjack said:

I treat it as a challenge, try to click on your next page before the bad loads. It does mean I end up on a lot of people’s profile pages thus making me look like a stalker. Ah well, it also gives me an almost valid excuse.

 

I think I view more profiles than threads these days for this very reason! 

 

I would even pay an extra subscription if it meant a 100% ad free experience (most adblockers are shite on mobile) 

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11 hours ago, tian447 said:

 

I think I view more profiles than threads these days for this very reason! 

 

I would even pay an extra subscription if it meant a 100% ad free experience (most adblockers are shite on mobile) 

If you’re on an iPhone Adguard Pro works really well. 

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bloody wind has party knocked down my greenhouse last night. i need to go and take the roof off it so it does not get damaged any further before i rebuild it

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4 hours ago, milky_26 said:

bloody wind has party knocked down my greenhouse last night. i need to go and take the roof off it so it does not get damaged any further before i rebuild it

 

Get over it, never buy anything green. Wind having a party, that bit needs a wee bit more explanation.

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Shanks said no
On 03/12/2019 at 09:52, Ribble said:

 

I've dealt with half the councils in scotland professionally and Edinburgh Council in my personal life, not once have I come across a single person that I would call competent at their job, there are no doubt some otherwise the doors would be shut by now but I'm yet to meet them.

This post deserves some recognition 

👏👏

Council employees are similar to teachers, they could never make it in the real world 

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1 hour ago, The Frenchman Returns said:

This post deserves some recognition 

👏👏

Council employees are similar to teachers, they could never make it in the real world 

You hear that, @Der Kaiser ?

 

::troll::

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1 hour ago, The Frenchman Returns said:

This post deserves some recognition 

👏👏

Council employees are similar to teachers, they could never make it in the real world 

 

The real world wooo...

 

This is like a quote from the the smug arsehole character that Jeremy Clarkson likes to play. :lol:

 

 

 

 

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Some of my teachers were:

An ex-journalist for several major fleet street publications and a published author

A historian who has had several history textbooks published

Head of marketing for an English premier league team

An ex bank manager

A practising high court solicitor

A UN special rapporteur 

 

Feckin wasters the lot of them

 

:gocompare:

 

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3 hours ago, The Frenchman Returns said:

This post deserves some recognition 

👏👏

Council employees are similar to teachers, they could never make it in the real world 

 

2 hours ago, Morgan said:

You hear that, @Der Kaiser ?

 

::troll::

 

Wouldn't last half a day in my shoes......

 

Unless he can drink a lot of coffee and touch himself a lot...wait.....he's a Frenchman? 

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Shanks said no
31 minutes ago, Cade said:

Some of my teachers were:

An ex-journalist for several major fleet street publications and a published author

A historian who has had several history textbooks published

Head of marketing for an English premier league team

An ex bank manager

A practising high court solicitor

A UN special rapporteur 

 

Feckin wasters the lot of them

 

:gocompare:

 

one of mine became a Labour MP for 20 odd years, then a life peer, we must have gone to different schools!

 

ok ok not all teachers are bad before I get more personal messages!

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