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The all new "seethe" thread


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22 minutes ago, redjambo said:

I've never understood this hatred for spiders. I love the wee beggars. They spin these beautiful webs, generally stay out of your way, and eat all the flies etc. that annoy me far more than spiders could.

 

They’re just freaky looking ********!

 

I actually love watching them spinning webs and shedding their skin. Just not in my house :lol:

 

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1 hour ago, iantjambo said:

 

They’re just freaky looking ********!

 

I actually love watching them spinning webs and shedding their skin. Just not in my house :lol:

 

Janet eats them if there is nothing else available.

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Samuel Camazzola
59 minutes ago, Morgan said:

Janet eats them if there is nothing else available.

To cleanse the palate before the next course? 

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3 hours ago, redjambo said:

I've never understood this hatred for spiders. I love the wee beggars. They spin these beautiful webs, generally stay out of your way, and eat all the flies etc. that annoy me far more than spiders could.

 

Up to a certain size, I agree, they're fascinating creatures, but above a certain size they creep me out.  I don't know exactly what the line between "cute" and "aaargh" is for me, but it's somewhere around the size of a fingernail. Anything bigger than that just makes me tense up and recoil when I first spot them, and there's nothing I can do about that reaction. 

 

I will never ever kill one though, and take them outside or to a garden shed or wherever I can, but the bigger ones need a bit of paper and a glass to do it :lol:

 

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3 hours ago, tian447 said:

 

 

 

I will never ever kill one though, and take them outside or to a garden shed or wherever I can, but the bigger ones need a bit of paper and a glass to do it :lol:

 

 

I'll be honest and say that I spray a spider killer around my windows and doors. It's true chemical warfare on them. Found some pretty big false widows living in my window frames before. I'll be kind to any spider I find inside by just throwing them out but false widows are going to be getting it. 

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3 hours ago, Samuel Camazzola said:

To cleanse the palate before the next course? 

indeed!

 

She needs to be just ready for her deep fried pizza supper and her Mars bar cooked in the same manner.

 

Then she has the main course....

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19 minutes ago, Morgan said:

indeed!

 

She needs to be just ready for her deep fried pizza supper and her Mars bar cooked in the same manner.

 

Then she has the main course....

the fact you keep talking about her makes me think you want to be her main course

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4 minutes ago, milky_26 said:

the fact you keep talking about her makes me think you want to be her main course

Honestly, milky, I most certainly don't.

 

She'd kill me with her blubbery excess. for one thing. 

 

She also has the manners and social graces of an apricot, and the intelligence of your average pitchfork.

 

 

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On 05/11/2019 at 14:10, Lemongrab said:

 🎅🏻Let me be the first to wish you all a Merry Christmas.🎄

 

Out with the dog earlier, and noticed some feckin eejit has Xmas decorations in their garden. 

 

These people need locked up.

 

Not right in the head if you ask me. 

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1 hour ago, IronJambo said:

I'll be honest and say that I spray a spider killer around my windows and doors. It's true chemical warfare on them. Found some pretty big false widows living in my window frames before. I'll be kind to any spider I find inside by just throwing them out but false widows are going to be getting it. 

 

Throwing them outside will either kill them or they'll just work their way back in. No point to it at all. If they pick a wall or corner and stick to it they can live in my house, soon as they think they can take liberties and scuttle around on the floor they get catalogued. 

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2 minutes ago, Mauricio Pinilla said:

 

Throwing them outside will either kill them or they'll just work their way back in. No point to it at all. 

I throw them down as presents to the floor below me. They don't come back. 

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13 minutes ago, IronJambo said:

I throw them down as presents to the floor below me. They don't come back. 

Lucky you. I've had the same one come back about eight times in the last week. The bugger somehow even managed to come back after the dog had eaten it.

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Just **** off with the fireworks , 2 ******* weeks they’ve been going off , ban them or birch any tosser letting them off on any day other than 5th November 

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Those all-in-one tap/hand dryer things at the airport. WTF are they all about?

 

The hand dryer bit ALWAYS comes on first! What clown approved that design?

 

:muggy:

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9 minutes ago, Gershwin said:

Those all-in-one tap/hand dryer things at the airport. WTF are they all about?

 

The hand dryer bit ALWAYS comes on first! What clown approved that design?

 

:muggy:

They work fine for me. 

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2 minutes ago, tokyowalnut said:

Christmas music in the shops already. I like Christmas, but the build up is getting longer every year. 

 

 

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1 hour ago, tokyowalnut said:

Christmas music in the shops already. I like Christmas, but the build up is getting longer every year. 

Christmas lights were put up in our town here, last week.  :facepalm:

 

Not on thankfully, but still feckin up.  :seething:

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53 minutes ago, Morgan said:

Christmas lights were put up in our town here, last week.  :facepalm:

 

Not on thankfully, but still feckin up.  :seething:

Same in Davidson's Mains. Up but not switched on yet.

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2 hours ago, tokyowalnut said:

Christmas music in the shops already. I like Christmas, but the build up is getting longer every year. 

 

My cousin just posted pictures on Facebook from the xmas party at Berwick caravan park last night. Tosser.

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21 minutes ago, graygo said:

 

My cousin just posted pictures on Facebook from the xmas party at Berwick caravan park last night. Tosser.

hibs fan?

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1 hour ago, Morgan said:

Christmas lights were put up in our town here, last week.  :facepalm:

 

Not on thankfully, but still feckin up.  :seething:

tbf, with the amount that will need put up by december i can accept that. as ling as they dont get put on until december 

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6 minutes ago, milky_26 said:

tbf, with the amount that will need put up by december i can accept that. as ling as they dont get put on until december 

Yes, that’s true.

 

They have about 8km of lights to put up on the promenade alone. The ‘switch on’ date is the 4th of December.

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31 minutes ago, graygo said:

 

My cousin just posted pictures on Facebook from the xmas party at Berwick caravan park last night. Tosser.

Did they play CD’s and LP’s though?

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1 hour ago, Morgan said:

Christmas lights were put up in our town here, last week.  :facepalm:

 

Not on thankfully, but still feckin up.  :seething:

Got on the train at Haymarket after the match yesterday. There were people who'd come from Waverley and quite clearly had been Christmas shopping. Rolls of wrappinig paper, some things actually pre-wrapped, and that smug " I've nearly finished my Christmas shopping" look. I had that "I've just seen the Jambos score five" look.

 

I'm actually getting the seethe just typing the word Christmas. :seething:

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3 hours ago, Mauricio Pinilla said:

 

 

Goes far better than it should tbh. Away to watch the original to flush that out my head though 

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24 minutes ago, graygo said:

 

No idea, don't even know what they are. 😉

Things that play music, I believe.

 

My mum had them years ago, they're round and usually come in sleeves telling you who the music is by.

 

A lot of mums ones had Bay City Rollers and Gary Glitter on them.

 

Mud and Showaddywaddy too.

 

They sound shite.  

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45 minutes ago, whodanny said:

Got on the train at Haymarket after the match yesterday. There were people who'd come from Waverley and quite clearly had been Christmas shopping. Rolls of wrappinig paper, some things actually pre-wrapped, and that smug " I've nearly finished my Christmas shopping" look. I had that "I've just seen the Jambos score five" look.

 

I'm actually getting the seethe just typing the word Christmas. :seething:

:yas:

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2 seperate but related seethes from me

 

have my kids today, (joys of a split with their mother) and I’ve still got a set of keys for the old flat, so I can get them in and put Them to bed at a reasonable hour whilst she’s out with her new guy.

 

except I had the keys to her place in the same pocket of my bag as my work keys. Been out with them all day (up since 5am as one wouldn’t go back to sleep) and finally got to theirs to find I had the wrong keys and a 25 minute drive across town to go and get the proper set.

 

 

part 2

no issue being split up, but her selfish insistence that it is “acceptable” to expect me to be here until “around 10ish” tonight when she comes back, knowing fine well I am getting up at 5am for work and working 12 hour shift tomorrow. 
 

just a pain in the arse

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40 minutes ago, Sooperstar said:

The noise of the de-icer in your boot rolling around and banging off things as you drive.

Ditch it. All you need is a decent scraper. Heat in full blast at the windscreen and demister on the rear window. Scrape the side windows, then finish off the back and move to the front. De icer is nasty stuff.

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On 10/11/2019 at 17:24, BM1874 said:

2 seperate but related seethes from me

 

have my kids today, (joys of a split with their mother) and I’ve still got a set of keys for the old flat, so I can get them in and put Them to bed at a reasonable hour whilst she’s out with her new guy.

 

except I had the keys to her place in the same pocket of my bag as my work keys. Been out with them all day (up since 5am as one wouldn’t go back to sleep) and finally got to theirs to find I had the wrong keys and a 25 minute drive across town to go and get the proper set.

 

 

part 2

no issue being split up, but her selfish insistence that it is “acceptable” to expect me to be here until “around 10ish” tonight when she comes back, knowing fine well I am getting up at 5am for work and working 12 hour shift tomorrow. 
 

just a pain in the arse

Next time you need to do a reverse poo and forget to flush it. It'll give you an enormous sense of warmth when you think of her trying to clean it.

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20 hours ago, IronJambo said:

Next time you need to do a reverse poo and forget to flush it. It'll give you an enormous sense of warmth when you think of her trying to clean it.

Have to ask, whit's a reverse poo ?  Not a term I'm familiar with.

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16 minutes ago, whodanny said:

Have to ask, whit's a reverse poo ?  Not a term I'm familiar with.

Doesn't mean a thing to me either.

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...a bit disco
51 minutes ago, whodanny said:

Have to ask, whit's a reverse poo ?  Not a term I'm familiar with.

 

34 minutes ago, Morgan said:

Doesn't mean a thing to me either.

 

noun

: that thing people are always worried about where somebody might sneak up behind you and poop their poop directly up your butthole. A perfectly rational fear, and one which most people are worried about every day.

verb

: the act of committing the above transgression.
"One of our greatest thinkers once mused that it was a blessing indeed that once something passeth through the butt-hole, then truly is there no coming back. Though the ages have proven this optimism to be shortsighted, verily the world would be better were it so. Woe be unto us, sons and daughters of Mankind, for from the time we can walk until our final breath, the terrible specter of Reverse Pooping is never far from our collective nightmares. We wake from dreams made unsound by visions of Reverse Pooping, slink from our beds, and spend each day in furtive creeping with an eye turned ever rearward, lest we be taken unawares with Reverse Pooping. Truly, it is a reasonable fear, and everybody thinks about it pretty much all the time."

~ St. Ignatius the Wise, from the First Canticle of "Reverse Pooping Is a Real Thing, And You Should Think About it A Lot"
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Driving home tonight, the amount of arseholes Who don’t dip their lights until they are almost level with you. It isn’t difficult, see a car coming towards you and dip your lights. Also, if you know a car is coming round a bend, dip your fecking lights before you’re next to the oncoming vehicle.

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3 hours ago, ...a bit disco said:

 

 

noun

: that thing people are always worried about where somebody might sneak up behind you and poop their poop directly up your butthole. A perfectly rational fear, and one which most people are worried about every day.

verb

: the act of committing the above transgression.
"One of our greatest thinkers once mused that it was a blessing indeed that once something passeth through the butt-hole, then truly is there no coming back. Though the ages have proven this optimism to be shortsighted, verily the world would be better were it so. Woe be unto us, sons and daughters of Mankind, for from the time we can walk until our final breath, the terrible specter of Reverse Pooping is never far from our collective nightmares. We wake from dreams made unsound by visions of Reverse Pooping, slink from our beds, and spend each day in furtive creeping with an eye turned ever rearward, lest we be taken unawares with Reverse Pooping. Truly, it is a reasonable fear, and everybody thinks about it pretty much all the time."

~ St. Ignatius the Wise, from the First Canticle of "Reverse Pooping Is a Real Thing, And You Should Think About it A Lot"

Jeez ! Who'da thunk it. I don't agree though, I certainly don't think about it "pretty much all the time" . I only heard of it for the first time today. Might think about it a bit more now though. 🤢 🤮

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1 hour ago, whodanny said:

Jeez ! Who'da thunk it. I don't agree though, I certainly don't think about it "pretty much all the time" . I only heard of it for the first time today. Might think about it a bit more now though. 🤢 🤮

I only quoted you so you'd think about it again.

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10 hours ago, whodanny said:

Jeez ! Who'da thunk it. I don't agree though, I certainly don't think about it "pretty much all the time" . I only heard of it for the first time today. Might think about it a bit more now though. 🤢 🤮

 

:lol: That isn't what the original poster meant though. He meant take the lid off the tank and drop one in the top of the toilet.

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Салатные палочки
14 hours ago, superjack said:

Driving home tonight, the amount of arseholes Who don’t dip their lights until they are almost level with you. It isn’t difficult, see a car coming towards you and dip your lights. Also, if you know a car is coming round a bend, dip your fecking lights before you’re next to the oncoming vehicle.

 

I've not been driving long admittedly but my route home takes me out into the arse end of nowhere and it's happened to me on a couple of occasions.  What annoys me also is the brightness of some of the headlights.  Jeezo man, seems to be higher end cars like Merc's and some jeep types. A big, bright, white light like a ******* laser beam shining into your eyes.  P*sses me off having to slow right down because of it, usually with someone right up your arse.  Not enjoyable for a new driver anyway.  

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To avoid confusion, I didn't mean either of the above with "reverse poo". I'm not a complete animal. 

 

I meant do a dump in her toilet whilst sat on the seat facing the wrong way round. The resulting jobby will slide all the way down the front part of the inside of the bowl, leaving a nice mess behind. Left alone for a few hours it's not a nice or easy clean up. 

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8 hours ago, Salad Fingers said:

 

I've not been driving long admittedly but my route home takes me out into the arse end of nowhere and it's happened to me on a couple of occasions.  What annoys me also is the brightness of some of the headlights.  Jeezo man, seems to be higher end cars like Merc's and some jeep types. A big, bright, white light like a ******* laser beam shining into your eyes.  P*sses me off having to slow right down because of it, usually with someone right up your arse.  Not enjoyable for a new driver anyway.  

My Skoda SUV has full LED lamps and they're amazing. I call them "arsehole lights" and I normally see similar in the door mirror a mile off. They shouldn't be blinding anyone though as at the right settings (and LED's I'd expect will all be auto levelling) they shouldn't be going through anyone's windows.

 

Edit: full beam is a different story. Id have it on all the time if I could as it's mentally bright. That would definitely blind you. 

Edited by IronJambo
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1 hour ago, IronJambo said:

My Skoda SUV has full LED lamps and they're amazing. I call them "arsehole lights" and I normally see similar in the door mirror a mile off. They shouldn't be blinding anyone though as at the right settings (and LED's I'd expect will all be auto levelling) they shouldn't be going through anyone's windows.

 

Edit: full beam is a different story. Id have it on all the time if I could as it's mentally bright. That would definitely blind you. 

 

Yeah,yeah,yeah...More to the point, are the in-laws visiting for Christmas? :D

 

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