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The all new "seethe" thread


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1 hour ago, jonnothejambo said:

 

Don't knock it until ye've tried it....

 

:verysmug:

:oohmatron:

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Just arrived at the in-laws after a five and a half hour drive. I'm largely allergic to their house because they've got air fresheners hidden everywhere. They know this. I'm loaded up on fexofenadine and a nasal spray but less than 5 minutes in the place and I'm sneezing.

 

The Mrs suggests to the old rhino that there maybe shouldn't be air fresheners out and she giggled and puts one in a cupboard, whilst mentioning the others that are all over. Stinking old cow. Whatever she does with them now doesn't matter, it's way too late. All that shits in the air for days. I went for a piss and I swear, there are more toxins in that bathroom than in Chemical Ali's spare bedroom!

 

3 days of joy ahead. 

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Sooperstar
7 hours ago, IronJambo said:

Just arrived at the in-laws after a five and a half hour drive. I'm largely allergic to their house because they've got air fresheners hidden everywhere. They know this. I'm loaded up on fexofenadine and a nasal spray but less than 5 minutes in the place and I'm sneezing.

 

The Mrs suggests to the old rhino that there maybe shouldn't be air fresheners out and she giggled and puts one in a cupboard, whilst mentioning the others that are all over. Stinking old cow. Whatever she does with them now doesn't matter, it's way too late. All that shits in the air for days. I went for a piss and I swear, there are more toxins in that bathroom than in Chemical Ali's spare bedroom!

 

3 days of joy ahead. 

At least you're not missing our biggest match in 7 years for it.

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I can see that on the telly here in Cumbria just like I would at home in Berkshire. 

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Horatio Caine

I wonder if Iron Jambo's in laws anticipate his visits as keenly as he anticipates theirs?

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14 minutes ago, Horatio Caine said:

I wonder if Iron Jambo's in laws anticipate his visits as keenly as he anticipates theirs?

Strategically placing the piss jug and air freshener to annoy him

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On 24/05/2019 at 09:23, milky_26 said:

Strategically placing the piss jug and air freshener to annoy him

Said jug has been sat on top of piece of kitchen roll on the cistern for the duration. I shiver to think what lurks on the kitchen roll.

 

I cooked here last night and it took 35 minutes to cook chips in the oven at a supposed 230 degrees. Just at well as it took over 20 minutes to heat beans on what is probably one of the first ceramic hobs that the UK ever seen. It heats up well, but then the thermostat cuts it out for two minutes (it cools so much you could touch it)before you get a 20 second blast of heat again. 

 

Apparently it's supposed to be like that and just because it's different to mine and everybody else's it doesn't mean it's broken. Baby bejesus had better cooking facilities on his car bonnet I think. 

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Bridge of Djoum
On 12/05/2019 at 12:40, Morgan said:

Och, was looking for something more erm....  juicy!!

 

On 12/05/2019 at 12:41, sadj said:

?Like the last juicy things i sent ya ?

 

On 12/05/2019 at 12:44, Morgan said:

Exactly like them, thanks very much!!!!   :biggrin:

Image result for funny gay gif

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Bridge of Djoum
Just now, sadj said:

:leveinproblem:

Yes...

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I didn't get the 'juicy'' PM. 

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1 minute ago, Bridge of Djoum said:

Yes...

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I didn't get the 'juicy'' PM. 

Apologies.... will see if i still have it or ill send similar to one of your dms when i get a minute my good sir...

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7 minutes ago, Bridge of Djoum said:

 

 

Image result for funny gay gif

 

:cornette_dog:

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Honeymoon.

 

4 minutes ago, sadj said:

:leveinproblem:

 

He’s just jealous of the juicy PM.

 

:wink: 

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Bridge of Djoum
1 minute ago, Morgan said:

 

:cornette_dog:

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Honeymoon.

 

 

He’s just jealous of the juicy PM.

 

:wink: 

Image result for old queen gif gay

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Bridge of Djoum
On 18/05/2019 at 05:52, jonnothejambo said:

It's the lycra clad twats that almost rocket up yer erse before tinging their wee bell on the canal that piss me off.

 

Feckin arseholes.

Yes, but what about cyclists?

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Bridge of Djoum
Just now, jonnothejambo said:

 

:lol:

 

My dog barked at one of them earlier today and he nearly shat his padded shorts. 

 

At least I think they were padded.....

 

:verysmug:

 

Mon the dugs.

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Sooperstar
10 minutes ago, Wee Mikey said:

On the topic of cyclists ... this heats up at approximately 1 minute in ...

 

 

Clowns

 

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6 hours ago, Wee Mikey said:

On the topic of cyclists ... this heats up at approximately 1 minute in ...

 

 

Arseholes, I was just hoping to see them get taken out by someone opening their car door at the appropriate moment.

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luckyBatistuta
1 hour ago, superjack said:

Arseholes, I was just hoping to see them get taken out by someone opening their car door at the appropriate moment.

 

Was hoping for an artic lorry myself. 

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Folk that nowadays can’t converse without saying either ‘guys’ or ‘issues’.

 

 

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Pretty much every time I’m at a set of lights, i’ll Keep my foot on the break, bad habit I know, but as soon as I stick the handbrake on instead boom lights change

 

also when I’m about to go around a car that’s trying to turn off right, as soon as I start to go round it, it will turn off meaning I then need to come back into lane

 

 

daft things but gets me every time

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Horatio Caine
10 hours ago, Morgan said:

Folk that nowadays can’t converse without saying either ‘guys’ or ‘issues’.

 

 

I can understand why that's an issue for guys like you.

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When you listen to good music you love on the way to work in the morning to set you up for the day. 

Then you pop in to grab a coffee before you start and they are playing something shit that then proceeds to get stuck in your head as an ear worm. Today. All Around The World  by Lisa Stansfield is ruining my morning. 

 

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1 hour ago, Tazio said:

When you listen to good music you love on the way to work in the morning to set you up for the day. 

Then you pop in to grab a coffee before you start and they are playing something shit that then proceeds to get stuck in your head as an ear worm. Today. All Around The World  by Lisa Stansfield is ruining my morning. 

 

 

 

I ******* despise that song.

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2 hours ago, Horatio Caine said:

I can understand why that's an issue for guys like you.

:touche:

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People who say "Welp, ?‍♂️" when stating an opinion on social media. 

 

Trying to be cute or "against the crowd" doesn't make your point valid. It makes you a complete and utter *****. 

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17 minutes ago, jonnothejambo said:

Fantons who say "oh my days" should be hung, drawn and quartered. 

 

I said it once and felt a right Dick. No idea why I even said it. It just came out.

 

Also these weather wank presenters almost coming in their pants because it's to be nice and hot in the South East. Get tae feck.  Come November and they get a bit of sleet and the tadgers go into meltdown. 

 

Soft as a wet shite that lot and soor faced twats as well.

‘Oh my days’ is right up there with ‘simples’.

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30 minutes ago, jonnothejambo said:

Also these weather wank presenters almost coming in their pants because it's to be nice and hot in the South East. Get tae feck.  Come November and they get a bit of sleet and the tadgers go into meltdown. 

 

Soft as a wet shite that lot and soor faced twats as well.

Oh my days, that's some rant.

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I hate the cinema at the best of times but today I'm taking the wee man to see The Secret Life of Pets 2.

 

£22 to sit on my arse bored oot ma tits with folk coughing all over the shop and going for a piss every 5 minutes with their screaming kids. He needn't think he's getting a hotdog or a drink or anything like that either. :( 

 

:seethe: 

 

In the dear seats, no way I'm puting my Duke of Argyll's through the pain of a hard seat.

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Horatio Caine
13 hours ago, Morgan said:

‘Oh my days’ is right up there with ‘simples’.

Anybody know what `Oh my days` actually means??

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2 hours ago, Horatio Caine said:

Anybody know what `Oh my days` actually means??

 

It’s the non-blasphemous version of oh my god   

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2 hours ago, Horatio Caine said:

Anybody know what `Oh my days` actually means??

 

Didn't, but.I do now. :) 

 

 

42 minutes ago, Ribble said:

 

It’s the non-blasphemous version of oh my god   

 

Good God.  :facepalm:

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19 hours ago, jonnothejambo said:

Fantons who say "oh my days" should be hung, drawn and quartered. 

 

I said it once and felt a right Dick. No idea why I even said it. It just came out.

 

Also these weather wank presenters almost coming in their pants because it's to be nice and hot in the South East. Get tae feck.  Come November and they get a bit of sleet and the tadgers go into meltdown. 

 

Soft as a wet shite that lot and soor faced twats as well.

You leave us in the South East alone. And just stick to your own teuchtar telly in the future if you find our weather offensive ?

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7 minutes ago, jonnothejambo said:

 

It'll be pishing doon before long....

 

?

Hopefully. At 24 degrees today it's about 7 degrees too hot. Can't wait until November.

Edited by IronJambo
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5 hours ago, graygo said:

I hate the cinema at the best of times but today I'm taking the wee man to see The Secret Life of Pets 2.

 

£22 to sit on my arse bored oot ma tits with folk coughing all over the shop and going for a piss every 5 minutes with their screaming kids. He needn't think he's getting a hotdog or a drink or anything like that either. :( 

 

:seethe: 

 

In the dear seats, no way I'm puting my Duke of Argyll's through the pain of a hard seat.

£5.99 for a leather recliner down at OT...although having worked there I'd advise against giving them a penny. Arseholes every single one of them. 

 

But to keep on the topic of the thread, I once complained my lack of hours were hurting my ability to financially provide for my children and was asked if I'd considered quitting to get child benefits 

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18 hours ago, Barack said:

Robert Pattinson, as the new Batman.

 

 

:what:

That isn't even the worst decision dc have made in the film department. That (dis)honour goes to casting Ezra Miller as the Flash

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Harry Potter
21 hours ago, jonnothejambo said:

Fantons who say "oh my days" should be hung, drawn and quartered. 

 

I said it once and felt a right Dick. No idea why I even said it. It just came out.

 

Also these weather wank presenters almost coming in their pants because it's to be nice and hot in the South East. Get tae feck.  Come November and they get a bit of sleet and the tadgers go into meltdown. 

 

Soft as a wet shite that lot and soor faced twats as well.

Tadgers /meltdown, :glorious:

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3 hours ago, jonnothejambo said:

 

Neither can I. Going to Australia then....

 

:verysmug:

 

I hope you like spiders and folk that love their own voice

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3fingersreid

Down at the western general hospital visiting my father in law on the way out went for a quick piss , 2 cubicles go into the first one lift the seat up and there is this big stinking shit sitting in the pan . In a hospital !!! What kind of scummy ******* does that in a hospital ???? 

 

 

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22 hours ago, superjack said:

Oh my days, that's some rant.

 

:lol: 

 

22 hours ago, jonnothejambo said:

 

In a bad mood. My golf was shite .

 

Simples.

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18 minutes ago, 3fingersreid said:

Down at the western general hospital visiting my father in law on the way out went for a quick piss , 2 cubicles go into the first one lift the seat up and there is this big stinking shit sitting in the pan . In a hospital !!! What kind of scummy ******* does that in a hospital ???? 

 

 

 

You can bet your baws that the dirty **** didn’t wash his hands either!

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3fingersreid
1 hour ago, iantjambo said:

 

You can bet your baws that the dirty **** didn’t wash his hands either!

My thoughts exactly , with the exception of my knob , everything touched was in contact with toilet paper not my hands , even after washing my hands the door was opened with bog roll . Must’ve used half a tub of alcohol gel when in the corridor 

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Just now, 3fingersreid said:

My thoughts exactly , with the exception of my knob , everything touched was in contact with toilet paper not my hands , even after washing my hands the door was opened with bog roll . Must’ve used half a tub of alcohol gel when in the corridor 

Your boaby must be toxic if you have to do all that after touching it.

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Maple Leaf
10 hours ago, Horatio Caine said:

Anybody know what `Oh my days` actually means??

 

It's short for "Oh my heavenly days", which is just an expression of surprise.

 

It's more hoity-toity than 'wow!'

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Samuel Camazzola
1 hour ago, iantjambo said:

 

You can bet your baws that the dirty **** didn’t wash his hands either!

Or wipe his hoop. 

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3fingersreid
1 hour ago, IronJambo said:

Your boaby must be toxic if you have to do all that after touching it.

Called many things but never toxic ??

would your mum in law like to check it ? ?

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