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chester copperpot

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5 hours ago, Captain Canada said:

 

I'm the same, I feel like I almost shut down over November, December and January and just try to get through the days as best I can until there's more daylight. 

 

As mentioned above, putting a brave face on things at nights out is really tough. I was in two minds whether or not to go to my Christmas night out with work a few weeks back. In the end I went along but didn't drink. A couple of comments were made about how I wasn't  massively enthusiastic about the activity we were doing before the meal. People don't think or realise the kind of impact little comments like that can have. 

 

I wasn't enjoying it at all because of my anxiety and came close to just walking out and going home. 

 

My plan for this year is to get out into nature as much as possible. Going to the beach or climbing a hill really help to boost my mood. I've also started cycling which will be good when the lighter nights come back. 

 

Hopefully some of the above will help someone else. It can be very isolating living with anxiety and depression but it helped me when I first realised I wasn't the only person going through it. 

Heard something a few months ago about what defines healthy.  The world health organisation currently define being healthy as someone who is off sound physical, mental and emotional health.  How many of us are ever all that on any given day?  They are looking at redefining it to.  Do you live a life that you value living?  You can have one hand and still live a life that you value.   

Thought I'd post that because of what you said about getting out into nature etc to get yourself better and to say sometimes we just feel a bit down in life.  Don't give yourself a hard time if life is already doing that for you.  The winter months affect people differently and sometimes it's about just getting your head down.  You're right about people maki g comments that they don't realise that are having an impact.  Luckily things are changing that way due to different campaigns.  Things are slowly changing but we are getting there.  Hope you get through this period and getting out into nature etc has the effect you want.  

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7 hours ago, Captain Canada said:

 

I'm the same, I feel like I almost shut down over November, December and January and just try to get through the days as best I can until there's more daylight. 

 

As mentioned above, putting a brave face on things at nights out is really tough. I was in two minds whether or not to go to my Christmas night out with work a few weeks back. In the end I went along but didn't drink. A couple of comments were made about how I wasn't  massively enthusiastic about the activity we were doing before the meal. People don't think or realise the kind of impact little comments like that can have. 

 

I wasn't enjoying it at all because of my anxiety and came close to just walking out and going home. 

 

My plan for this year is to get out into nature as much as possible. Going to the beach or climbing a hill really help to boost my mood. I've also started cycling which will be good when the lighter nights come back. 

 

Hopefully some of the above will help someone else. It can be very isolating living with anxiety and depression but it helped me when I first realised I wasn't the only person going through it. 

Mate i can totally identify. Couldnt go to my xmas night out, just made my excuses. Wasn't even going to try and put myself through something that was making me feel so bad. The week before i went out with a great group of friends (and a hibbee). My sister literally has to talk me out the house but was so glad i went. One of my friends took me aside at one point and said i was looking really stressed and that made me feel really great. Work colleagues are that. Your friends are your friends 

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The Real Maroonblood
9 hours ago, Captain Canada said:

 

I'm the same, I feel like I almost shut down over November, December and January and just try to get through the days as best I can until there's more daylight. 

 

As mentioned above, putting a brave face on things at nights out is really tough. I was in two minds whether or not to go to my Christmas night out with work a few weeks back. In the end I went along but didn't drink. A couple of comments were made about how I wasn't  massively enthusiastic about the activity we were doing before the meal. People don't think or realise the kind of impact little comments like that can have. 

 

I wasn't enjoying it at all because of my anxiety and came close to just walking out and going home. 

 

My plan for this year is to get out into nature as much as possible. Going to the beach or climbing a hill really help to boost my mood. I've also started cycling which will be good when the lighter nights come back. 

 

Hopefully some of the above will help someone else. It can be very isolating living with anxiety and depression but it helped me when I first realised I wasn't the only person going through it. 

You seem to have more positive thoughts with the cycling, going to the beach and hill climbing on your agenda 

I find walking particularly in the countryside is very therapeutic.

Best wishes to you for the future. 

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Captain Canada
5 hours ago, FruitJuice said:

Heard something a few months ago about what defines healthy.  The world health organisation currently define being healthy as someone who is off sound physical, mental and emotional health.  How many of us are ever all that on any given day?  They are looking at redefining it to.  Do you live a life that you value living?  You can have one hand and still live a life that you value.   

Thought I'd post that because of what you said about getting out into nature etc to get yourself better and to say sometimes we just feel a bit down in life.  Don't give yourself a hard time if life is already doing that for you.  The winter months affect people differently and sometimes it's about just getting your head down.  You're right about people maki g comments that they don't realise that are having an impact.  Luckily things are changing that way due to different campaigns.  Things are slowly changing but we are getting there.  Hope you get through this period and getting out into nature etc has the effect you want.  

 

Thanks very much for taking the time to reply FJ. I really appreciate it. 

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Captain Canada
2 hours ago, LeftBack said:

Mate i can totally identify. Couldnt go to my xmas night out, just made my excuses. Wasn't even going to try and put myself through something that was making me feel so bad. The week before i went out with a great group of friends (and a hibbee). My sister literally has to talk me out the house but was so glad i went. One of my friends took me aside at one point and said i was looking really stressed and that made me feel really great. Work colleagues are that. Your friends are your friends 

 

Thanks very much LeftBack. My default setting is to avoid work nights out but I was worried I'd not really been socialising much so pushed myself to go. It was hard going in parts and I didn't really enjoy it but I'm glad in a way that I pushed myself out of my comfort zone. 

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4 minutes ago, Captain Canada said:

 

Thanks very much for taking the time to reply FJ. I really appreciate it. 

Just remember that you are surrounded by help and support.  Just ask for it and it's there.  Don't keep these things to yourself. 

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Captain Canada
1 hour ago, The Real Maroonblood said:

You seem to have more positive thoughts with the cycling, going to the beach and hill climbing on your agenda 

I find walking particularly in the countryside is very therapeutic.

Best wishes to you for the future. 

 

Thanks very much for your reply, it's much appreciated. I think living within four walls at work and at home can make things more difficult so even though I'm pretty anxious most of the time, I'm going to try to do more in the outdoors and I'm sure it will help over time. 

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Captain Canada
Just now, FruitJuice said:

Just remember that you are surrounded by help and support.  Just ask for it and it's there.  Don't keep these things to yourself. 

 

Thanks mate. I go through cycles of feeling ok for a while and then much worse in the winter. I've got used to it I suppose and am still guilty of bottling things up at times even though I know from past experience, that's the least helpful thing to do. 

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Riddley Walker

Everything is honestly getting too much. Too much to even begin to explain on here but I'm starting to wonder if it's even worth it anymore.

Lost motivation to do ****ing anything and avoiding everything I can.

 

Gets to the stage when you wonder if there's even any point carrying on.

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rudi must stay
37 minutes ago, Riddley Walker said:

Everything is honestly getting too much. Too much to even begin to explain on here but I'm starting to wonder if it's even worth it anymore.

Lost motivation to do ****ing anything and avoiding everything I can.

 

Gets to the stage when you wonder if there's even any point carrying on.

 

To be honest I am thinking I need a career change and to make some big life decisions, it has only dawned on me really being the nice guy has only made me the fall guy to my boss and he is really a bully who has been very unfair and patronising to me over the years and I have taken it when others wouldnt. It sounds like you have factors in your life too, need to put them right mate and you'll feel good again, this is atleast a start👍

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Captain Canada
8 hours ago, Riddley Walker said:

Everything is honestly getting too much. Too much to even begin to explain on here but I'm starting to wonder if it's even worth it anymore.

Lost motivation to do ****ing anything and avoiding everything I can.

 

Gets to the stage when you wonder if there's even any point carrying on.

 

Sorry to hear this. I've felt exactly the same way quite a few times but there is always a point in carrying on. 

 

It always helped me to speak to someone to get a different perspective on things. If things have been bad for a while, it can be difficult to change how you see and think about the situation. 

 

I quite often felt helpless and looking back, didn't get help for a long time even though I knew something was wrong. I don't know your situation but if there's anyone you can talk to, even if they're removed from what's going on, that would be a good place to start. I have always found it easier to talk to people who aren't friends or family, but everyone is different. 

 

Getting out of your usual environment even for a day or two can help a lot as well and give you time and space to think more clearly about what's going on and what to do next. 

 

I hope that helps in some small way. Feel free to message me if you need to. 

 

Take care 

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8 hours ago, Riddley Walker said:

Everything is honestly getting too much. Too much to even begin to explain on here but I'm starting to wonder if it's even worth it anymore.

Lost motivation to do ****ing anything and avoiding everything I can.

 

Gets to the stage when you wonder if there's even any point carrying on.

It would be easy to say that everything will be OK and you are just going through a tough time. But the fact that you have admitted to feeling the way you do shows you don't want to feel the way you are. There is plenty of point in carrying on buddy. Go and see your doctor and explain how you are doing. And ffs if you need to talk there is plenty of help... Even to an ****hole like me... 

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Been racked with guilt these past couple of months. My grandad passed away but 2 months ago but before he was Ill I had already booked and paid for a holiday to Corfu. He passed away and the funeral was booked for when I was away. I was in two minds whether to go or not but my Nana basically told me to go and i did. I have never felt so guilty about something in my life. Still haven't forgiven myself.and wish I cancelled the whole thing. 

 

Been problems with my marriage because I felt and still feel the wife pressured me to go on holiday rather than support me through it all.

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Harry Potter
1 hour ago, AlimOzturk said:

Been racked with guilt these past couple of months. My grandad passed away but 2 months ago but before he was Ill I had already booked and paid for a holiday to Corfu. He passed away and the funeral was booked for when I was away. I was in two minds whether to go or not but my Nana basically told me to go and i did. I have never felt so guilty about something in my life. Still haven't forgiven myself.and wish I cancelled the whole thing. 

 

Been problems with my marriage because I felt and still feel the wife pressured me to go on holiday rather than support me through it all.

Dont beat yourself up on the decision you made, your nana wanted you to go 

on holiday, and im sure your grandad would have felt the same, take time to talk to your wife

and talk it through. sorry for your loss bud.

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2 hours ago, AlimOzturk said:

Been racked with guilt these past couple of months. My grandad passed away but 2 months ago but before he was Ill I had already booked and paid for a holiday to Corfu. He passed away and the funeral was booked for when I was away. I was in two minds whether to go or not but my Nana basically told me to go and i did. I have never felt so guilty about something in my life. Still haven't forgiven myself.and wish I cancelled the whole thing. 

 

Been problems with my marriage because I felt and still feel the wife pressured me to go on holiday rather than support me through it all.

I think you might be feeling this way due to still grieving.  Your nan said go for it.  Maybe going away has just delayed the grieving process for you.  You know you wouldn't have just thought stuff it I could do with a holiday.  

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6 hours ago, AlimOzturk said:

Been racked with guilt these past couple of months. My grandad passed away but 2 months ago but before he was Ill I had already booked and paid for a holiday to Corfu. He passed away and the funeral was booked for when I was away. I was in two minds whether to go or not but my Nana basically told me to go and i did. I have never felt so guilty about something in my life. Still haven't forgiven myself.and wish I cancelled the whole thing. 

 

Been problems with my marriage because I felt and still feel the wife pressured me to go on holiday rather than support me through it all.

Maybe have a chat about your feelings of guilt with your nan? I’m sure she wouldn’t want you feeling bad about it. 

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6 hours ago, AlimOzturk said:

Been racked with guilt these past couple of months. My grandad passed away but 2 months ago but before he was Ill I had already booked and paid for a holiday to Corfu. He passed away and the funeral was booked for when I was away. I was in two minds whether to go or not but my Nana basically told me to go and i did. I have never felt so guilty about something in my life. Still haven't forgiven myself.and wish I cancelled the whole thing. 

 

Been problems with my marriage because I felt and still feel the wife pressured me to go on holiday rather than support me through it all.

Alim?

 

Obviously I can only go on what you have posted but, the way I read it is, your nana told you to go on holiday. Correct so far?

 

Without knowing what your wife said I can't be certain about the next bit, but here goes with my assumption anyway.  

 

Your wife has said 'yeah, we should go on holiday, even nana said we should'.

 

If that is what took place, then I think you are being a wee bitty unfair on your lady.

 

If it's not as simple as that or, I've got it all wrong and there is more to it, then just ignore my rambling post!!

 

Anyhow, none of what happened is down to you. I know what your grandad meant to you as you have mentioned him in high regard many times on here over the years. 

 

Have a heart to heart with your wife and, for heavens sake, don't risk losing someone else who is dear to you.

 

Wishing you all the best, Alim.

 

Morgan

 

 

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18 hours ago, Captain Canada said:

 

Thanks mate. I go through cycles of feeling ok for a while and then much worse in the winter. I've got used to it I suppose and am still guilty of bottling things up at times even though I know from past experience, that's the least helpful thing to do. 


Sounds very silly but try a vit D supplement. Part of the reason might be the darkness and lack of sunlight/daylight. Wont cure all but may help a tiny bit

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Captain Canada
52 minutes ago, sadj said:


Sounds very silly but try a vit D supplement. Part of the reason might be the darkness and lack of sunlight/daylight. Wont cure all but may help a tiny bit

 

Cheers Sadj, I'll definitely give that a try. Thanks for taking the time to reply! 

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4 minutes ago, Captain Canada said:

 

Cheers Sadj, I'll definitely give that a try. Thanks for taking the time to reply! 

Anytime , one of the best things on here is this and the number of people who offer to be here as a shoulder or ear. 
 

one thing i always recommend to clients is to read up on l-glutamine as Serotonin levels are so important and a lot of it is produced in your guts. So gut health is really important.

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Dagger Is Back
9 hours ago, AlimOzturk said:

Been racked with guilt these past couple of months. My grandad passed away but 2 months ago but before he was Ill I had already booked and paid for a holiday to Corfu. He passed away and the funeral was booked for when I was away. I was in two minds whether to go or not but my Nana basically told me to go and i did. I have never felt so guilty about something in my life. Still haven't forgiven myself.and wish I cancelled the whole thing. 

 

Been problems with my marriage because I felt and still feel the wife pressured me to go on holiday rather than support me through it all.


Man that’s a tough place to be. I’d ask yourself this. What would your Grandad have wanted you to do?

 

Given what your Nana said, and she told you to go, I think you’re going really tough on yourself. 
 

Grief has many stages as you know. It’s easy to carry some form of guilt or blame around with you.

 

Take care buddy

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Dagger Is Back
1 hour ago, sadj said:


Sounds very silly but try a vit D supplement. Part of the reason might be the darkness and lack of sunlight/daylight. Wont cure all but may help a tiny bit


Doesn’t sound silly at all. I’m taking a Vit D supplement because of the lack of daylight/sunlight in the winter months.

 

I’m happy to give anything a go 

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4 minutes ago, Dagger Is Back said:


Doesn’t sound silly at all. I’m taking a Vit D supplement because of the lack of daylight/sunlight in the winter months.

 

I’m happy to give anything a go 


Well definitely have a read up on these two supplements , maca root powder (immune system and other things 🤭) but more importantly the L-Glutamine (there is glutamine peptides too) the peptides i avoid (if i remember correctly they are wheat based and it doesnt agree with me) even just the 10 or so basic health benefits make it a no brainer to me as a bloke over 30 (welllll over 30) 👍🏻
 

https://www.google.co.uk/search?q=l-gluramine+health+bebefits&ie=UTF-8&oe=UTF-8&hl=en-gb&client=safari

Edited by sadj
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Dagger Is Back
On 04/01/2020 at 12:40, Captain Canada said:

 

I'm the same, I feel like I almost shut down over November, December and January and just try to get through the days as best I can until there's more daylight. 

 

As mentioned above, putting a brave face on things at nights out is really tough. I was in two minds whether or not to go to my Christmas night out with work a few weeks back. In the end I went along but didn't drink. A couple of comments were made about how I wasn't  massively enthusiastic about the activity we were doing before the meal. People don't think or realise the kind of impact little comments like that can have. 

 

I wasn't enjoying it at all because of my anxiety and came close to just walking out and going home. 

 

My plan for this year is to get out into nature as much as possible. Going to the beach or climbing a hill really help to boost my mood. I've also started cycling which will be good when the lighter nights come back. 

 

Hopefully some of the above will help someone else. It can be very isolating living with anxiety and depression but it helped me when I first realised I wasn't the only person going through it. 


I think your plan is a sound one. The benefits of exercise and the release of endorphins are massive.

 

The trick is turning that plan into action, as you know. 
 

It’s one of my soapbox rants when I see the education system cutting back on PE for our kids.

 

Good luck for the year ahead CC.

 

Tomorrow, sunset in Edinburgh is at 1556. By 18 January is 1617.

 

Summers on its way

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Dagger Is Back
7 minutes ago, sadj said:


Well definitely have a read up on these two supplements , maca root powder (immune system and other things 🤭) but more importantly the L-Glutamine (there is glutamine peptides too) the peptides i avoid (if i remember correctly they are wheat based and it doesnt agree with me) even just the 10 or so basic health benefits make it a no brainer to me as a bloke over 30 (welllll over 30) 👍🏻
 

https://www.google.co.uk/search?q=l-gluramine+health+bebefits&ie=UTF-8&oe=UTF-8&hl=en-gb&client=safari


Thank you sadj. I’ll have a read up on that. Thanks for sharing 

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Captain Canada
9 hours ago, AlimOzturk said:

Been racked with guilt these past couple of months. My grandad passed away but 2 months ago but before he was Ill I had already booked and paid for a holiday to Corfu. He passed away and the funeral was booked for when I was away. I was in two minds whether to go or not but my Nana basically told me to go and i did. I have never felt so guilty about something in my life. Still haven't forgiven myself.and wish I cancelled the whole thing. 

 

Been problems with my marriage because I felt and still feel the wife pressured me to go on holiday rather than support me through it all.

 

As others have said, it sounds like you're giving yourself too hard a time over this. Your Nana helped make the decision for you but I do understand how you're feeling after an experience I had many years ago. 

 

I know it's easy for a stranger to say online, but I'm sure you had many amazing memories with your Grandad, so try to focus on those rather than missing the funeral. 

 

Please don't be too hard on yourself. Like all of us, you're just one person trying their best to navigate through life! 

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Captain Canada
9 minutes ago, Dagger Is Back said:


I think your plan is a sound one. The benefits of exercise and the release of endorphins are massive.

 

The trick is turning that plan into action, as you know. 
 

It’s one of my soapbox rants when I see the education system cutting back on PE for our kids.

 

Good luck for the year ahead CC.

 

Tomorrow, sunset in Edinburgh is at 1556. By 18 January is 1617.

 

Summers on its way

 

Thanks very much Dagger. I usually feel better by mid-February. Good to see the sunsets will be getting that bit later, even in January.

 

All the best 

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10 minutes ago, Dagger Is Back said:


I think your plan is a sound one. The benefits of exercise and the release of endorphins are massive.

 

The trick is turning that plan into action, as you know. 
 

It’s one of my soapbox rants when I see the education system cutting back on PE for our kids.

 

Good luck for the year ahead CC.

 

Tomorrow, sunset in Edinburgh is at 1556. By 18 January is 1617.

 

Summers on its way

 

That stat has cheered me right up.

 

I've had an ok Winter, although had a few off days but a few years back I had an absolutely horrific Winter where I found myself crying most days and not having the courage to do basic everyday things in public.

 

Don't ever think you're alone or daft for feeling bad during these months as you are apart of the majority. Excercise and Vit D is a good start. I found that once my mood started to pick up it felt easier coming clean about how I felt. Nowadays I tell randoms at work how I've felt even if they don't ask - I'm not fussed if they truly care or not it's just good to get it off my chest. Who knows maybe they are bottling their feelings up as well?

 

 

 

 

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23 hours ago, Riddley Walker said:

Everything is honestly getting too much. Too much to even begin to explain on here but I'm starting to wonder if it's even worth it anymore.

Lost motivation to do ****ing anything and avoiding everything I can.

 

Gets to the stage when you wonder if there's even any point carrying on.


The motivation point is a big one for me this past 6 months. I have to keep telling myself to go do something around the house or go for a walk, anything really. I’ve been signed off work since the last week in may due to reasons I already posted about a few months ago. 
 

Every day seems like a struggle, the fact is if I didn’t have my daughter to keep me busy and entertain I’d probably never leave the house. 
 

I am planning on trying to go back to work in a few weeks on a part time basis on the days my daughter goes to nursery , slightly dreading it but I think I need some routine/ structure in my life again . I don’t mind the work , more dreading the small talk and people asking how I am and stuff, not that much of a talker tbh. Before then I intend to do some DIY this coming week around the flat to get me doing more rather than wasting my days away in front of the tv or computer. 

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Dagger Is Back
3 hours ago, Jeff said:

 

That stat has cheered me right up.

 

I've had an ok Winter, although had a few off days but a few years back I had an absolutely horrific Winter where I found myself crying most days and not having the courage to do basic everyday things in public.

 

Don't ever think you're alone or daft for feeling bad during these months as you are apart of the majority. Excercise and Vit D is a good start. I found that once my mood started to pick up it felt easier coming clean about how I felt. Nowadays I tell randoms at work how I've felt even if they don't ask - I'm not fussed if they truly care or not it's just good to get it off my chest. Who knows maybe they are bottling their feelings up as well?

 

 

 

 


Glad it brought some positive news. 
 

Wise words indeed. Behind every door is a story. Just having the courage to speak out and people who listen can make a world of difference 

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Captain Canada

Hope everyone is doing ok after going back to work. I have to admit I was struggling a bit by Friday but hopefully this week will be easier. 

 

I went out to the beach yesterday despite the rain and wind and felt much better for it. 

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The Real Maroonblood
2 hours ago, Captain Canada said:

Hope everyone is doing ok after going back to work. I have to admit I was struggling a bit by Friday but hopefully this week will be easier. 

 

I went out to the beach yesterday despite the rain and wind and felt much better for it. 

Glad to hear you’re sounding positive.

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2 hours ago, Captain Canada said:

Hope everyone is doing ok after going back to work. I have to admit I was struggling a bit by Friday but hopefully this week will be easier. 

 

I went out to the beach yesterday despite the rain and wind and felt much better for it. 

Brilliant mate. Definitely being active helps 

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On 05/01/2020 at 01:47, Riddley Walker said:

Everything is honestly getting too much. Too much to even begin to explain on here but I'm starting to wonder if it's even worth it anymore.

Lost motivation to do ****ing anything and avoiding everything I can.

 

Gets to the stage when you wonder if there's even any point carrying on.

How are you doing mate? 

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On 05/01/2020 at 01:47, Riddley Walker said:

Everything is honestly getting too much. Too much to even begin to explain on here but I'm starting to wonder if it's even worth it anymore.

Lost motivation to do ****ing anything and avoiding everything I can.

 

Gets to the stage when you wonder if there's even any point carrying on.

Hi, 

 

not a thread I visit very often but having a wee read today.

 

I've never had much dealings with you over all these years, but your post here caught my eye.  For you to have typed this, you must feel awful. I just can't imagine what you are going through.

 

I genuinely hope you can get some professional help to get you past this.

 

Please don't ever think that there is no point in carrying on, there is, and you'll find it again.

 

I wish you all the very best, Riddley, and hope you keep posting on this thread, hopefully in a more upbeat fashion.

 

Good luck,

 

Morgan

 

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On 05/01/2020 at 11:56, Harry Potter said:

Dont beat yourself up on the decision you made, your nana wanted you to go 

on holiday, and im sure your grandad would have felt the same, take time to talk to your wife

and talk it through. sorry for your loss bud.

 

On 05/01/2020 at 12:37, FruitJuice said:

I think you might be feeling this way due to still grieving.  Your nan said go for it.  Maybe going away has just delayed the grieving process for you.  You know you wouldn't have just thought stuff it I could do with a holiday.  

 

On 05/01/2020 at 16:36, davemclaren said:

Maybe have a chat about your feelings of guilt with your nan? I’m sure she wouldn’t want you feeling bad about it. 

 

On 05/01/2020 at 17:09, Morgan said:

Alim?

 

Obviously I can only go on what you have posted but, the way I read it is, your nana told you to go on holiday. Correct so far?

 

Without knowing what your wife said I can't be certain about the next bit, but here goes with my assumption anyway.  

 

Your wife has said 'yeah, we should go on holiday, even nana said we should'.

 

If that is what took place, then I think you are being a wee bitty unfair on your lady.

 

If it's not as simple as that or, I've got it all wrong and there is more to it, then just ignore my rambling post!!

 

Anyhow, none of what happened is down to you. I know what your grandad meant to you as you have mentioned him in high regard many times on here over the years. 

 

Have a heart to heart with your wife and, for heavens sake, don't risk losing someone else who is dear to you.

 

Wishing you all the best, Alim.

 

Morgan

 

 

 

On 05/01/2020 at 20:01, Dagger Is Back said:


Man that’s a tough place to be. I’d ask yourself this. What would your Grandad have wanted you to do?

 

Given what your Nana said, and she told you to go, I think you’re going really tough on yourself. 
 

Grief has many stages as you know. It’s easy to carry some form of guilt or blame around with you.

 

Take care buddy

 

On 05/01/2020 at 20:24, Captain Canada said:

 

As others have said, it sounds like you're giving yourself too hard a time over this. Your Nana helped make the decision for you but I do understand how you're feeling after an experience I had many years ago. 

 

I know it's easy for a stranger to say online, but I'm sure you had many amazing memories with your Grandad, so try to focus on those rather than missing the funeral. 

 

Please don't be too hard on yourself. Like all of us, you're just one person trying their best to navigate through life! 

 

Want to say a massive thanks to you chaps. The wife and I sat down and had a heart to heart and put everything on the table. She didnt realise that I felt she put pressure on me and how much missing the funeral meant to me. I have tried to ignore and bottle up the grief which in turn has turned me into a pretty bitter person and I have taken that out on the person I love the most which is my wife. I realise an arsehole to her but thankfully she is a beautiful and forgiving person

 

I have decided to do dry january which has really helped clear the head, back to the gym and spending far more time with the family away from pub. 

 

I am also going to visit a greif councellor as it is clear that I dont deal with that very well. 

 

This thread is truly a wonderful resource. Good luck to everyone struggling. 

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Dagger Is Back
4 hours ago, Captain Canada said:

Hope everyone is doing ok after going back to work. I have to admit I was struggling a bit by Friday but hopefully this week will be easier. 

 

I went out to the beach yesterday despite the rain and wind and felt much better for it. 

 

Good for you CC. Fresh air and exercise is part of the package of things that will definitely help. Glad you were feeling much better. Stick with it and hope this week is an easier one for you. Little steps matey 

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Dagger Is Back
13 minutes ago, AlimOzturk said:

 

 

 

 

 

 

Want to say a massive thanks to you chaps. The wife and I sat down and had a heart to heart and put everything on the table. She didnt realise that I felt she put pressure on me and how much missing the funeral meant to me. I have tried to ignore and bottle up the grief which in turn has turned me into a pretty bitter person and I have taken that out on the person I love the most which is my wife. I realise an arsehole to her but thankfully she is a beautiful and forgiving person

 

I have decided to do dry january which has really helped clear the head, back to the gym and spending far more time with the family away from pub. 

 

I am also going to visit a greif councellor as it is clear that I dont deal with that very well. 

 

This thread is truly a wonderful resource. Good luck to everyone struggling. 

 

That is a really positive read Alim. Glad you sat and had a chat and have started to work things out

 

Good luck to you and your wife

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Captain Canada
21 minutes ago, AlimOzturk said:

 

 

 

 

 

 

Want to say a massive thanks to you chaps. The wife and I sat down and had a heart to heart and put everything on the table. She didnt realise that I felt she put pressure on me and how much missing the funeral meant to me. I have tried to ignore and bottle up the grief which in turn has turned me into a pretty bitter person and I have taken that out on the person I love the most which is my wife. I realise an arsehole to her but thankfully she is a beautiful and forgiving person

 

I have decided to do dry january which has really helped clear the head, back to the gym and spending far more time with the family away from pub. 

 

I am also going to visit a greif councellor as it is clear that I dont deal with that very well. 

 

This thread is truly a wonderful resource. Good luck to everyone struggling. 

 

That's great to hear! Glad you're doing much better mate. 

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Captain Canada
9 minutes ago, Dagger Is Back said:

 

Good for you CC. Fresh air and exercise is part of the package of things that will definitely help. Glad you were feeling much better. Stick with it and hope this week is an easier one for you. Little steps matey 

 

Thanks very much mate, I really appreciate it. 

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27 minutes ago, AlimOzturk said:

 

 

 

 

 

 

Want to say a massive thanks to you chaps. The wife and I sat down and had a heart to heart and put everything on the table. She didnt realise that I felt she put pressure on me and how much missing the funeral meant to me. I have tried to ignore and bottle up the grief which in turn has turned me into a pretty bitter person and I have taken that out on the person I love the most which is my wife. I realise an arsehole to her but thankfully she is a beautiful and forgiving person

 

I have decided to do dry january which has really helped clear the head, back to the gym and spending far more time with the family away from pub. 

 

I am also going to visit a greif councellor as it is clear that I dont deal with that very well. 

 

This thread is truly a wonderful resource. Good luck to everyone struggling. 

 

Brilliant post chief.

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27 minutes ago, AlimOzturk said:

 

 

 

 

 

 

Want to say a massive thanks to you chaps. The wife and I sat down and had a heart to heart and put everything on the table. She didnt realise that I felt she put pressure on me and how much missing the funeral meant to me. I have tried to ignore and bottle up the grief which in turn has turned me into a pretty bitter person and I have taken that out on the person I love the most which is my wife. I realise an arsehole to her but thankfully she is a beautiful and forgiving person

 

I have decided to do dry january which has really helped clear the head, back to the gym and spending far more time with the family away from pub. 

 

I am also going to visit a greif councellor as it is clear that I dont deal with that very well. 

 

This thread is truly a wonderful resource. Good luck to everyone struggling. 

Great stuff, Alim.

 

Thanks for posting an update, and a positive one at that!!

 

Morgan

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1 hour ago, AlimOzturk said:

 

 

 

 

 

 

Want to say a massive thanks to you chaps. The wife and I sat down and had a heart to heart and put everything on the table. She didnt realise that I felt she put pressure on me and how much missing the funeral meant to me. I have tried to ignore and bottle up the grief which in turn has turned me into a pretty bitter person and I have taken that out on the person I love the most which is my wife. I realise an arsehole to her but thankfully she is a beautiful and forgiving person

 

I have decided to do dry january which has really helped clear the head, back to the gym and spending far more time with the family away from pub. 

 

I am also going to visit a greif councellor as it is clear that I dont deal with that very well. 

 

This thread is truly a wonderful resource. Good luck to everyone struggling. 

 

What an uplifting post. Well done sir. Communication, opening up and talking stuff over is key, something most guys are poor at. You sound like a good egg and your missus too. The days are now slowly lengthening which should help too. Good luck 👍

 

I'm no stranger to big D myself and told my own tale on this thread a year ago. I've been pretty much fine continuously for about 8 years now, my best run as an adult (I'm 52). A nice trip up to Hampden in May of that year helped set me on my way😉 

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Dagger Is Back
On 05/01/2020 at 00:47, Riddley Walker said:

Everything is honestly getting too much. Too much to even begin to explain on here but I'm starting to wonder if it's even worth it anymore.

Lost motivation to do ****ing anything and avoiding everything I can.

 

Gets to the stage when you wonder if there's even any point carrying on.


Didn’t pick up on your post until now Riddley so apologies. 
 

How are you doing?

 

Clearly, I don’t know what’s happening in your life to make you feel this way, but what I do know is that I’ve been there too

 

On Hogmanay 2018, I was looking down on to the bypass trying to take that first step

 

A phone call from my Mum to wish me HNY and reading this thread stopped me.

 

I read about so many others struggling with things happening in their lives and the support from folks on here.

 

I realised that it wasn’t ‘just me’

 

It was a turning point of sorts. The black dog still paws at the door but most days are better.

 

I started writing down one thing a week that I’d done to help others. Nothing earth shattering, things like helping an elderly neighbour or not drinking at night so I can go and pick up daughter from Attik at 4am 😂

 

When I’m struggling I open the jar and have a wee read. Helping other folks has always made me feel good so it helps lift my spirits

 

My jobs a physical one but I wasn’t doing things for me. Got involved in walking football and met a brilliant bunch of guys and girls whose company can’t fail to lift the spirits.

 

As I said, we’ve no idea what is making you feel this way. All I’ll say is that there is loads of understanding and support here. No one will judge, that much is clear.
 

When you’re facing the black dog it’s really hard to find anything positive to beat the shit out of it with. When you look

though, you’ll find lots of personal values, strengths and skills that others value.

 

If you ever need to chat, feel free to pm.

 

Take care and let us know how you’re doing Riddley

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1 hour ago, Dagger Is Back said:


Didn’t pick up on your post until now Riddley so apologies. 
 

How are you doing?

 

Clearly, I don’t know what’s happening in your life to make you feel this way, but what I do know is that I’ve been there too

 

On Hogmanay 2018, I was looking down on to the bypass trying to take that first step

 

A phone call from my Mum to wish me HNY and reading this thread stopped me.

 

I read about so many others struggling with things happening in their lives and the support from folks on here.

 

I realised that it wasn’t ‘just me’

 

It was a turning point of sorts. The black dog still paws at the door but most days are better.

 

I started writing down one thing a week that I’d done to help others. Nothing earth shattering, things like helping an elderly neighbour or not drinking at night so I can go and pick up daughter from Attik at 4am 😂

 

When I’m struggling I open the jar and have a wee read. Helping other folks has always made me feel good so it helps lift my spirits

 

My jobs a physical one but I wasn’t doing things for me. Got involved in walking football and met a brilliant bunch of guys and girls whose company can’t fail to lift the spirits.

 

As I said, we’ve no idea what is making you feel this way. All I’ll say is that there is loads of understanding and support here. No one will judge, that much is clear.
 

When you’re facing the black dog it’s really hard to find anything positive to beat the shit out of it with. When you look

though, you’ll find lots of personal values, strengths and skills that others value.

 

If you ever need to chat, feel free to pm.

 

Take care and let us know how you’re doing Riddley

Great post from you, Dagger.

 

From the heart too, as I know how you were 12 or so months ago.

 

I hope that Riddley responds to you (I know he won’t to me. ( :sad: ).

 

I will look forward to reading his post and, just to re-iterate, I hope he comes out of this well.

 

Morgan

 

 

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  • 3 weeks later...

How are folk doing? I wonder if mods could maybe change title to mental health? Just thought thats more inclusive and helps rid stigma regarding depression. Just an idea. 

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Had another major crisis today which in the past could have tipped me. But managed to get past. Drugs definitely helping but i think its important to remember that life can be effing awful and you can feel crap without it caving in. I wish everyone was happy but i know that's just the same as wishing hearts were European champions, my bank balance always reads £1m and my children never hurt. Its how we deal with it. 

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