Gay Parents

[GforGallo]

men and women are different in many ways and I actually believe for a child to have parents male and female is the best way of learning the different yet important strengths and weakness of both

 

If parents are the same sex, this may result in there being an imbalance in their understanding and not give a truthful understanding of both sexes

I understand that logic and agree with it but only so far.

 

I would say though it is better to have two loving parents of the same sex who have to make a conscious decision to have a child than to have two parents of opposing genders who aren't loving, or a father (or mother) who abandons the family.

 

Same sex couples with children are just part of life's rich tapestry.

[Craig Gordons Gloves]

as opposed to all the kids growing up with only one parent?

Heterosexual systems have broken down so badly now you are seeing an explosion of self harm, childhood mental illness, attatchment disorders and behavioural problems including ADHD

It is the inability of people to put the happiness of their offspring before their own that is the problem - not the gender of the parents

 

 

DING DING DING! This is spot on. 

 

My realtor and his husband have adopted 2 boys, the boys are 2 of the happiest kids i've come across because the parents provide a loving, stable and fun environment as a family.  That's what matters - the kind of environment that kids are being brought up.  Now, it doesn't work all the time, you have instances of kids coming from amazing, stable family backgrounds that go off course in the same way that you have kids who come from unstable, horrific backgrounds who are fantastic individuals but these are the exceptions rather than the rule. 

[elvoys]

There are nurturing feminine qualities that come from a mum that a chap simply cant replicate. This obvious statement shouldn't be controversial but in the bonkers age of 'gender is a social construct' I'm sure it is. Otherwise good people and units come in all shapes and sizes and I'm all for the principle.

 

But to back up i8s, of course there will be friction for the kid in school. It is by definition an artificial, engineered concept that is actively going against the most basic of traditional societal norms. Adjusting attitudes would require the same engineering or education.

 

What is interesting is the same culture that actively pushes this for years destroyed countless black kids lives, stopping their adoption to white families cos of the huge obstacle of 'cultural' authenticity.

[Quagmire]

There are nurturing feminine qualities that come from a mum that a chap simply cant replicate. This obvious statement shouldn't be controversial but in the bonkers age of 'gender is a social construct' I'm sure it is. Otherwise good people and units come in all shapes and sizes and I'm all for the principle.

 

But to back up i8s, of course there will be friction for the kid in school. It is by definition an artificial, engineered concept that is actively going against the most basic of traditional societal norms. Adjusting attitudes would require the same engineering or education.

 

What is interesting is the same culture that actively pushes this for years destroyed countless black kids lives, stopping their adoption to white families cos of the huge obstacle of 'cultural' authenticity.

 

this is absolute bollocks. it might be your experience, but i certainly know of fathers who have had to fill both roles, as it were, and have done an absolutely incredible job of it. I'm not saying i buy into the 'gender is a construct' stuff, thought for what it's worth, i think it's a nonsense to speak about both sexes as though they have mutually exclusive emotional capabilities, because even if the crude averages (whatever that means) would differ between the sexes, the overlap in the middle would be absolutely enormous. it's individuals we're dealing with, that's billions of people, not two entities that can be sensibly generalised on matter like this.

[elvoys]

this is absolute bollocks. it might be your experience, but i certainly know of fathers who have had to fill both roles, as it were, and have done an absolutely incredible job of it. I'm not saying i buy into the 'gender is a construct' stuff, thought for what it's worth, i think it's a nonsense to speak about both sexes as though they have mutually exclusive emotional capabilities, because even if the crude averages (whatever that means) would differ between the sexes, the overlap in the middle would be absolutely enormous. it's individuals we're dealing with, that's billions of people, not two entities that can be sensibly generalised on matter like this.

Take breast feeding out of the picture and there are still unique things about a feminine presence that a guy simply can't provide. And that doesn't mean he can't be perfectly brilliant as a sensitive, nurturing parent but I maintain its not the same.

[Quagmire]

Take breast feeding out of the picture and there are still unique things about a feminine presence that a guy simply can't provide. And that doesn't mean he can't be perfectly brilliant as a sensitive, nurturing parent but I maintain its not the same.

in what way though? i mean specifically, because otherwise all you are going on is your own presumptions. i'm not calling you a bigot, i totally get the 'gut feeling' thing, it's a natural reaction in a sense, but that doesn't make it right either. you need evidence to back up this kind of thing, because when it comes to this kind of thing, what a section of the population 'feels' about something isn't really a good enough reason to deny people the right to be parents.

[elvoys]

in what way though? i mean specifically, because otherwise all you are going on is your own presumptions. i'm not calling you a bigot, i totally get the 'gut feeling' thing, it's a natural reaction in a sense, but that doesn't make it right either. you need evidence to back up this kind of thing, because when it comes to this kind of thing, what a section of the population 'feels' about something isn't really a good enough reason to deny people the right to be parents.

I'm entirely for it as mentioned earlier. I know a gay man who'd be a great parent though its not his bag. I just said its not the same. A feminine, maternal presence is difficult to quantify like love I suppose which is one of the overriding factors in this debate.

[Zibi]

men and women are different in many ways and I actually believe for a child to have parents male and female is the best way of learning the different yet important strengths and weakness of both

 

If parents are the same sex, this may result in there being an imbalance in their understanding and not give a truthful understanding of both sexes

The best post JiH has ever made.

[jambo lodge]

in what way though? i mean specifically, because otherwise all you are going on is your own presumptions. i'm not calling you a bigot, i totally get the 'gut feeling' thing, it's a natural reaction in a sense, but that doesn't make it right either. you need evidence to back up this kind of thing, because when it comes to this kind of thing, what a section of the population 'feels' about something isn't really a good enough reason to deny people the right to be parents.

Women are from Venus Men are from Mars.

[Ulysses]

Women are from Venus Men are from Mars.

 

 

He asked for evidence, not a T-shirt slogan.

[John Findlay]

 

He asked for evidence, not a T-shirt slogan.

Be fair U. It was a book written by a woman.

[jambo lodge]

Read the book.

[King prawn]

I don't care what sexuality two parents are. If they raise their child to treat others with respect, do as well as they can in whatever they want to do them good for them.

 

I can think of quite a few horrible heterosexual parents that treat their children terribly. Why on earth should they get to say who can and can't be a parent?

[FWJ]

I don't care what sexuality two parents are. If they raise their child to treat others with respect, do as well as they can in whatever they want to do them good for them.

I can think of quite a few horrible heterosexual parents that treat their children terribly. Why on earth should they get to say who can and can't be a parent?

Exactly.

[Bindy Badgy]

men and women are different in many ways and I actually believe for a child to have parents male and female is the best way of learning the different yet important strengths and weakness of both

 

If parents are the same sex,  this may result in there being an imbalance in their understanding and not give a truthful understanding of both sexes

 

Can you point to any peer-reviewed studies that have been published in credible scientific journals that back this claim up or is this solely what you feel?

[AlphonseCapone]

Can you point to any peer-reviewed studies that have been published in credible scientific journals that back this claim up or is this solely what you feel?

He has no idea what a peer-reviewed study is. Half his posts on here are about the bible or the end of the world. That's not a man who puts much stock into evidence.

[John Findlay]

My parents were gay. They were continually a happy couple.

[Ulysses]

Read the book.

Evidence, not slogans. Whenever you're ready.

[jambo lodge]

Evidence, not slogans. Whenever you're ready.

What kind of evidence do you need that women and men think differently, respond differently to situations and are often much more intuitive than men. .

[Bindy Badgy]

What kind of evidence do you need that women and men think differently, respond differently to situations and are often much more intuitive than men. .

 

Do you have any evidence that any of these differences have any negative impact on children raised by homosexual parents?

 

Meta-analysis here that states that the scientific consensus is that there are "no differences" between children raised by heterosexual couples and children raised by homosexual couples.

 

While the US Supreme Court was considering two related cases involving the constitutionality of same-sex marriage, one major question informing that decision was whether scientific research had achieved consensus regarding how children of same-sex couples fare. Determining the extent of consensus has become a key aspect of how social science evidence and testimony is accepted by the courts. Here, we show how a method of analyzing temporal patterns in citation networks can be used to assess the state of social scientific literature as a means to inform just such a question. Patterns of clustering within these citation networks reveal whether and when consensus arises within a scientific field. We find that the literature on outcomes for children of same-sex parents is marked by scientific consensus that they experience ?no differences? compared to children from other parental configurations.

[TommyC]

As a primary school teacher at a school with gay parents, let me clarify:

 

- Educating about the existence of same sex relationships reduces gay bullying.

- The gay parents in our school are some of the most engaged, evidently brilliant parents we have seen.

- The children of these gay parents are achieving, happy, safe and well nurtured. All round developing as children should.

 

Gay bullying issues in the playground? Problem is with the poor parenting of the bullies, not the parenting of the child with gay parents. Not to mention that gay parents probably had to deal with a decent amount of bullying in their childhoods. Their resilience and hardiness will prove useful qualities to pass on.

 

Well done to those who noticed that men and women are different! You've passed Primary 1. Next step for you is learning that different parenting experiences happen all over the world. Different isn't necessarily wrong. A friend of mine has two mums and is perfectly well rounded (with a great "truthful understanding of the sexes").

 

I'm also the God parent to a little boy with two dads. They are fantastic parents and have undoubtedly improved the little boy's life through adopting him.

[Riddley Walker]

My youngest sister is 19. She finished school 2/3 years ago and we spoke at length about the gay guys in her year. There were several openly "out" boys in 4th-6th year and she speaks about it like it was absolutely normal. No issues whatsoever.

 

Anyone who thinks gay people shouldn't adopt children is thick and/or ignorant.

[i8hibsh]

My youngest sister is 19. She finished school 2/3 years ago and we spoke at length about the gay guys in her year. There were several openly "out" boys in 4th-6th year and she speaks about it like it was absolutely normal. No issues whatsoever.

 

Anyone who thinks gay people shouldn't adopt children is thick and/or ignorant.

Ah, share my opinion or you are thick eh. I am not the one who is using one girl's experience from one school out of many many millions all over the world to base my opinion.

 

I must add as I feel I must but what the **** has a few teenage gay boys got to do with gay parents adopting kids?

[hughesie27]

Ah, share my opinion or you are thick eh. I am not the one who is using one girl's experience from one school out of many many millions all over the world to base my opinion.

 

I must add as I feel I must but what the **** has a few teenage gay boys got to do with gay parents adopting kids?

Your argument against gay parents being that kids will get bullied. People give you anecdotal evidence that actual gay students aren't being bullied.

You've probably not been anywhere near a school in well over a decade and yet you feel qualified to disregard actual real experiences for your presumptions.

[i8hibsh]

Your argument against gay parents being that kids will get bullied. People give you anecdotal evidence that actual gay students aren't being bullied.

You've probably not been anywhere near a school in well over a decade and yet you feel qualified to disregard actual real experiences for your presumptions.

Wrong. It is one of my arguments.

[hughesie27]

Wrong. It is one of my arguments.

The only one you've brought forward. Dodge and deflect dodge and deflect.

[i8hibsh]

The only one you've brought forward. Dodge and deflect dodge and deflect.

As opposed to the 'share my opinion or you are thick' argument? That was top drawer that.

[hughesie27]

As opposed to the 'share my opinion or you are thick' argument? That was top drawer that.

You are a precious wee soul. If you need someone to talk to about the bullying I'm always happy to accept PM's.

[Riddley Walker]

Ah, share my opinion or you are thick eh. I am not the one who is using one girl's experience from one school out of many many millions all over the world to base my opinion.

 

I must add as I feel I must but what the **** has a few teenage gay boys got to do with gay parents adopting kids?

I brought then up to show that most kids have got completely different attitude to gay people than they even did a decade ago.

 

I'm not usually one to go down that road, but if you believe kids are better off in care than being raised by two gay people, I stand by that you're missing something in between your skull.

[i8hibsh]

I brought then up to show that most kids have got completely different attitude to gay people than they even did a decade ago.

 

I'm not usually one to go down that road, but if you believe kids are better off in care than being raised by two gay people, I stand by that you're missing something in between your skull.

I just would rather they were raised by a man and a woman. I do know lots of kids in foster care however from my personal life and it is the best place for them. Living with a loving couple with other children in need of a better environment. I would actually rather people who can't provide a child with a great environment in the first place wouldn't have ****ing children.

[Sydney]

Some of the posts on here seem like they are straight out of the 1950s

 

Everyone is entitled to an opinion, and we all know that opinions do not have to be influenced by facts, but........researchers from the Columbia Law School examined 76 studies published after 1985 and found that only four of them (5%) concluded that children raised by gay couples faced additional adversity as a result of having same-sex parents.   That means that 95% of them concluded there  are no differences in the outcomes for children based solely on whether they were raised by same-sex or heterosexual parents.

 

Obviously not every study came to the same conclusion.  The study by Paul Sullins, a Catholic priest and sociology professor at Catholic University, found that children raised by same-sex parents were twice as likely to have emotional problems versus those raised by heterosexual parents. I am sure that he was in NO WAY AT ALL influenced by his religious ideology.

[Jambothump]

I genuinely feel sorry for gay people, both sexes, they cannot help their hormonal imbalance. It is not natural and in the order of evolution, but is not their fault.

 

I would have concerns about bringing a child up in that unnaturally evolutionary environment, no matter how loving the relationship, the child could see it as "normal". 

[Sydney]

I genuinely feel sorry for gay people, both sexes, they cannot help their hormonal imbalance. It is not natural and in the order of evolution, but is not their fault.

 

I would have concerns about bringing a child up in that unnaturally evolutionary environment, no matter how loving the relationship, the child could see it as "normal". 

 

I think I see what you mean.

 

If you take your argument even further you could even say "The laws of nature require the obliteration of the unfit and human life is valuable only when it is of use to the community or race."

 

I'm no Bible reader, but I did come across this interesting quote:

 

"Professing themselves to be wise, they became fools." -Romans 1:22

 

You can use it when talking about those "scientists" and their ridiculous views.

[i8hibsh]

Not really sure who's on the wind-up on this thread anymore.

 

I'd hope no-one as it is a serious issue.

[Jambothump]

If you take your argument even further you could even say "The laws of nature require the obliteration of the unfit and human life is valuable only when it is of use to the community or race."

 

I do not wish to punish people for their, in my view deficiency, don't try to make me a supremacist with comments such as above. 

You do not know me, or my personal circumstances for my views, don't judge on your half informed opinions.

[i8hibsh]

I genuinely feel sorry for gay people, both sexes, they cannot help their hormonal imbalance. It is not natural and in the order of evolution, but is not their fault.

 

I would have concerns about bringing a child up in that unnaturally evolutionary environment, no matter how loving the relationship, the child could see it as "normal". 

 

 

Never feel sorry for gay men - they get sex constantly!  Nowadays I can't even buy it.

 

 

On a serious note, when you talk about 'natural' it is entirely natural- to them.  What is natural to you or me for sexuality is not necessarily natural to everyone else.  Having kids however is non negotiable ? that is 100% naturally a man and a woman thing.  No matter how much a gay couple want to be like the rest, or how much they feel they need a baby to complete their jigsaw it simply does not change this.

[hughesie27]

If you take your argument even further you could even say "The laws of nature require the obliteration of the unfit and human life is valuable only when it is of use to the community or race."

 

I do not wish to punish people for their, in my view deficiency, don't try to make me a supremacist with comments such as above. 

You do not know me, or my personal circumstances for my views, don't judge on your half informed opinions.

Don't knock it till you try it.

[Sydney]

If you take your argument even further you could even say "The laws of nature require the obliteration of the unfit and human life is valuable only when it is of use to the community or race."

 

I do not wish to punish people for their, in my view deficiency, don't try to make me a supremacist with comments such as above. 

You do not know me, or my personal circumstances for my views, don't judge on your half informed opinions.

I'm sorry.  You're right, I don't know you or your personal circumstances.  I was trying to slyly have a dig at you and I shouldn't have.  I inappropriately quoted two books I find offensive and tried to infer that you hold views similar to those found in the books.  I shouldn't have done it.

 

Let's just stick with this - I disagree with your views and I don't like your opinion.  Nothing more to it than that..

[southcap]

The UK currently has a birth rate of 1.9 for every women.

 

Thus, we are under producing children.

 

.Who are going to pay for our pensions btw?

 

We need as many bairns as possible right now.

[AlimOzturk]

.

[i8hibsh]

The UK currently has a birth rate of 1.9 for every women.

 

Thus, we are under producing children.

 

.Who are going to pay for our pensions btw?

 

We need as many bairns as possible right now.

 

 

Who is going to pay for all the children though?

[Bindy Badgy]

I genuinely feel sorry for gay people, both sexes, they cannot help their hormonal imbalance. It is not natural and in the order of evolution, but is not their fault.

 

I would have concerns about bringing a child up in that unnaturally evolutionary environment, no matter how loving the relationship, the child could see it as "normal". 

 

How exactly are you defining "natural"? Homosexual behaviour has been observed in literally hundreds of different species. I don't see how it can defined as unnatural.

[southcap]

Who is going to pay for all the children though?

Us, children are significantly cheaper than pensioners. 

[i8hibsh]

Us, children are significantly cheaper than pensioners. 

 

 

Why should I pay for someone's child?

[AlimOzturk]

Why should I pay for someone's child?

Look after everyone in society who needs it.

 

Not everyone who has children has deliberately went out their way to cheat the ****ing system. Some true sad situations out their which you wouldn't even begin to comprehend due to your political views.

 

Punish the many for the few. Typical Tory heartless

 

Oh aii...and you can't even see the irony in your own argument. Why should the state bring up children when there is a perfectly good gay couple willing to shoulder the burden.

[southcap]

Why should I pay for someone's child?

Why should that child pay for you?

[Norm]

Why should I pay for someone's child?

You could argue similar with regards to paying for people's parents and grandparents with the state pension.

[i8hibsh]

Why should that child pay for you?

Pretty certain a child will not be.

[AlimOzturk]

I8 we just to going to allow children to starve because their parents decided not to use protection?

[southcap]

Pretty certain a child will not be.

I'm pretty sure they will be.