LOVE ISLAND 2018

[shaun.lawson]

1 hour ago, Phil Dunphy said:

That Kendall one is a bit of a cow, like.

 

Goes with her being the hottest, I suspect.

[luckyBatistuta]

Well like, I watched it like, tonight’s episode that is like. And like it was alright like, but I’m not sure like, if I actually like it.

[Armageddon]

The Dr boy is obviously used to hoovering up bursds back home and isn’t liking he’s not having the success.  The last boy to go in in totally full of cheesy/sleazy shit.

 

This show is a slow burner, the second half is what makes it.

[Phil Dunphy]

9 hours ago, shaun.lawson said:

 

Goes with her being the hottest, I suspect.

 

I quite like Dani. When she’s not talking/screeching. 

 

None me of the girls so far can hold a candle to Camila from last year though ?

[Shooter McGavin]

A show that launches the career of even more talentless c****. 

 

File under Geordie Shore & The Only Way Is Essex. S****.

[Nookie Bear]

19 hours ago, Governor Tarkin said:

 

An excellent synopsis of the modern world, Doc, that's me convinced.

 

I'll be sure to encourage my kids to whore themselves out to the slavering masses on reality TV instead of pursuing a fine education and rewarding career.

 

 

Or, best of all, pursue a well-paid part-time job...like a GP

[Nightwing]

They've really scraped the bottom of the barrel with the pondlife on it this year.

 

 

I counted in one 30 second conversation between the girl that has a face like a melted barbie (Kendall) & Harry Potter (Niall), the word 'like' was used 19 times.

 

once you notice it, like. y'know, like, you can't miss it, like.

Edited June 6, 2018 by Nightwing
added names

[luckyBatistuta]

48 minutes ago, Nightwing said:

They've really scraped the bottom of the barrel with the pondlife on it this year.

 

 

I counted in one 30 second conversation between the girl that has a face like a melted barbie (Kendall) & Harry Potter (Niall), the word 'like' was used 19 times.

 

once you notice it, like. y'know, like, you can't miss it, like.

 

That’s exactly why I posted what i did above. I can’t hear anything other than like,like,like, it’s grating as.

[hughesie27]

This Morning just had a peice about the "Likes" last night.

 

219.

 

1 every 16 seconds.

[Gavsy Van Gaverson]

6 minutes ago, hughesie27 said:

This Morning just had a peice about the "Likes" last night.

 

219.

 

1 every 16 seconds.

 

That is good going likes.

[shaun.lawson]

Imagine the auditions, and what they're looking for:

 

- Must be hot and have a chest the size of a small country (women)

 

- Must have more muscles than braincells (men)

 

- If they get pregnant, their IQ would double (women)

 

- Must be shallower than a paddling pool (all) 

 

- Must have a vocabulary equivalent to a 3-year-old child (all)

[luckyBatistuta]

5 minutes ago, shaun.lawson said:

Imagine the auditions, and what they're looking for:

 

- Must be hot and have a chest the size of a small country (women)

 

- Must have more muscles than braincells (men)

 

- If they get pregnant, their IQ would double (women)

 

- Must be shallower than a paddling pool (all) 

 

- Must have a vocabulary equivalent to a 3-year-old child (all)

 

Number 3 = like ✅

[Captain Sausage]

2 hours ago, shaun.lawson said:

Imagine the auditions, and what they're looking for:

 

- Must be hot and have a chest the size of a small country (women)

 

- Must have more muscles than braincells (men)

 

- If they get pregnant, their IQ would double (women)

 

- Must be shallower than a paddling pool (all) 

 

- Must have a vocabulary equivalent to a 3-year-old child (all)

 

Aye, that doctor is thick as shit eh? More qualified to make assessments of our coach than certain posters on here!

[inspector]

7 hours ago, Shooter McGavin said:

A show that launches the career of even more talentless c****. 

 

File under Geordie Shore & The Only Way Is Essex. S****.

Totally agree. Pap for the masses. Although to be honest, I've never watched it. The adverts for it are enough for me.

[Tazio]

On 05/06/2018 at 15:02, Dino Velvet said:

More people applied for the show this year than applicants for Oxford and Cambridge combined. 

 

As I saw someone put on Titter "yeah, but it doesn't cost £28k to go on Love Island"

[William H. Bonney]

14 minutes ago, Tazio said:

 

As I saw someone put on Titter "yeah, but it doesn't cost £28k to go on Love Island"

 

I think the point being that these young people would rather use their looks than their brains to make a name for themselves. 

[Jamhammer]

On 6/5/2018 at 15:02, Dino Velvet said:

More people applied for the show this year than applicants for Oxford and Cambridge combined. 

The world has gone to hell in a handbasket. I've never watched this, BGT, Dancing on Ice, Strictly, Made in Chelsea, Towie any of those. I've learned that, if I even watch one of them that'll be me hooked. I remember watching The Hills cos the bairn watched it. I hated myself. Like watching a car crash. Life, especially at my age is way too short to watch these things when there's so many decent things to watch

[Armageddon]

Who’s watching??? 2 new girls about to go in   Starts to mix it up 

 

Kendall seems really nice ?? 

[Elmore]

3 hours ago, Dino Velvet said:

 

I think the point being that these young people would rather use their looks than their brains to make a name for themselves. 

Who wouldn't if you're a lazy ******* with no sense of achievement?

[indianajones]

I'd rather eat my own testicles than watch this havering pish. 

[hughesie27]

Lassies crapping themeslves now.

[Tazio]

1 hour ago, hughesie27 said:

Lassies crapping themeslves now.

 

Live on telly??

 

Reality telly really has gone to far. 

[luckyBatistuta]

1 hour ago, indianajones said:

I'd rather eat my own testicles than watch this havering pish. 

 

Make sure you pack those sandbags really high 

[The Brow]

8 hours ago, Dino Velvet said:

 

I think the point being that these young people would rather use their looks than their brains to make a name for themselves. 

 

go to some island, chill out for a while. Have it off with one or more of these plebs. Make some cash. 6 months work and a complete piece of piss. 

 

Contrast that with actually having to live in Oxford and attend Oxford university. 

 

I'll go pack me trunks. 

 

[Jeff]

4 hours ago, The Brow said:

 

go to some island, chill out for a while. Have it off with one or more of these plebs. Make some cash. 6 months work and a complete piece of piss. 

 

Contrast that with actually having to live in Oxford and attend Oxford university. 

 

I'll go pack me trunks. 

 

 

Sure I heard that ITV make 10% of their future earnings

[Phil Dunphy]

9 hours ago, The Brow said:

 

go to some island, chill out for a while. Have it off with one or more of these plebs. Make some cash. 6 months work and a complete piece of piss. 

 

Contrast that with actually having to live in Oxford and attend Oxford university. 

 

I'll go pack me trunks. 

 

 

The university thing would make sense if one of them was t a junior doctor and another wasn’t a Electrical and Nuclear Systems Design Engineer. 

 

No no difference between these young people who haven’t gone to uni and other young people who don’t go to uni. 

[doctor jambo]

21 hours ago, houstonjambo said:

 

Aye, that doctor is thick as shit eh? More qualified to make assessments of our coach than certain posters on here!

There is now a Doctor and a solicitor on it.

It looks like fun to be on the show.

Its a chance to make life changing sums of money, that would otherwise take people in these professions decades to make.

And the "morality" brigade can think what they like, it matters not a toot.

Its great TV, I love it,

and if my kids went on it, I'd support them.

Life is too short to worry about what auld farts think of you being young and having fun

[Captain Sausage]

1 hour ago, doctor jambo said:

There is now a Doctor and a solicitor on it.

It looks like fun to be on the show.

Its a chance to make life changing sums of money, that would otherwise take people in these professions decades to make.

And the "morality" brigade can think what they like, it matters not a toot.

Its great TV, I love it,

and if my kids went on it, I'd support them.

Life is too short to worry about what auld farts think of you being young and having fun

 

Spot on sir. Agree word for word. 

[hughesie27]

2 hours ago, doctor jambo said:

There is now a Doctor and a solicitor on it.

It looks like fun to be on the show.

Its a chance to make life changing sums of money, that would otherwise take people in these professions decades to make.

And the "morality" brigade can think what they like, it matters not a toot.

Its great TV, I love it,

and if my kids went on it, I'd support them.

Life is too short to worry about what auld farts think of you being young and having fun

The actual prize is only 50k. Which is likely split between 2 people.

After that they could do the club night appearances and such for about £1500 a night!

[Armageddon]

12 hours ago, doctor jambo said:

There is now a Doctor and a solicitor on it.

It looks like fun to be on the show.

Its a chance to make life changing sums of money, that would otherwise take people in these professions decades to make.

And the "morality" brigade can think what they like, it matters not a toot.

Its great TV, I love it,

and if my kids went on it, I'd support them.

Life is too short to worry about what auld farts think of you being young and having fun

 

The villa is amazing, poontang on a plate, you’ll make a shed load of cash off of it all, and you get 2 months in the sun!!

 

 

[Phil Dunphy]

That Kendall bird is doing my absolute box in. 

 

“I’m just not ready for something with someone, so I need to take it slow.”

 

**** you doing on Love Island then?

[Homme]

Mrs loves it and its also a guilty pleasure of mine.

 

We usually watch serious drama's etc on tv so good to have a bit of lightheartedness where i don't have to think.

 

That said it'll be getting launched when the WC starts.

[scottish_chicP]

3 hours ago, Phil Dunphy said:

That Kendall bird is doing my absolute box in. 

 

“I’m just not ready for something with someone, so I need to take it slow.”

 

**** you doing on Love Island then?

She is really doing my nut in. She seems extremely high maintenance.

 

I haven't actually watched it before. I watched one episode the other night and I think I am addicted. It's shite but I can't help myself.

[Phil Dunphy]

3 minutes ago, scottish_chicP said:

She is really doing my nut in. She seems extremely high maintenance.

 

I haven't actually watched it before. I watched one episode the other night and I think I am addicted. It's shite but I can't help myself.

 

That was me last year. Watched one and was hooked for the rest of the series. 

 

I think her saving grace in the coupling tonight will be the fact no-one likes that Hayley lassie and I can’t see where anyone will want to couple up with her. 

[hughesie27]

1 hour ago, Homme said:

Mrs loves it and its also a guilty pleasure of mine.

 

We usually watch serious drama's etc on tv so good to have a bit of lightheartedness where i don't have to think.

 

That said it'll be getting launched when the WC starts.

There's only 1 WC game in the whole tournament that will clash with it.

[I P Knightley]

On 6/5/2018 at 15:02, Dino Velvet said:

More people applied for the show this year than applicants for Oxford and Cambridge combined. 

 

On 6/5/2018 at 19:07, Ministry MK2 said:

Presumably the number of people who get school grades good enough to be considered by Oxford & Cambridge is pretty tiny. 

 

Not a particularly surprising fact.

Oxford gets north of 45,000 applicants each year. I assume it's similar for Cambridge. So we're talking about 90,000+ applying to this TV show? I don't believe it. 

 

Never seen the show. Is it titzoot?

[hmfc_liam06]

6 minutes ago, I P Knightley said:

Never seen the show. Is it titzoot?

 

This is what I want to know as well.

[Phil Dunphy]

1 hour ago, I P Knightley said:

 

Oxford gets north of 45,000 applicants each year. I assume it's similar for Cambridge. So we're talking about 90,000+ applying to this TV show? I don't believe it. 

 

Never seen the show. Is it titzoot?

 

I can well believe it. A summer lying about by a pool, getting to know other young people with the same interests and the potential to make a name for yourself?

 

No less understandable than someone applying for Britain’s Got Talent. 

[hughesie27]

1 hour ago, I P Knightley said:

 

Oxford gets north of 45,000 applicants each year. I assume it's similar for Cambridge. So we're talking about 90,000+ applying to this TV show? I don't believe it. 

 

Never seen the show. Is it titzoot?

 

1 hour ago, hmfc_liam06 said:

 

This is what I want to know as well.

I've never watched any of the previous series but as I understand it there's not a lot in the way of raw chebs. 

 

[Homme]

2 hours ago, hughesie27 said:

There's only 1 WC game in the whole tournament that will clash with it.

 

Shhhh don’t tell me that!

 

[Siphiwe Tshabalala]

I'm going to take a punt and say Jack ditches Dani tonight and couples up with Hayley.

 

I wouldn't tire of punching Adam and Niall in the face. 

[dazajmbo]

Niall is just someone if you seen in tesco you would just smash thier face against every single freezer looooiike.

 

Dani is tidy as!

 

Feel a bit sorry for the doctor that nobody likes him. He seems the most real out of all the guys. 

 

Adam is a wank

[hmfc_liam06]

1 hour ago, hughesie27 said:

 

I've never watched any of the previous series but as I understand it there's not a lot in the way of raw chebs. 

 

 

Great thanks. I'll give it a miss then.

[Siphiwe Tshabalala]

36 minutes ago, dazajmbo said:

Niall is just someone if you seen in tesco you would just smash thier face against every single freezer looooiike.

 

Dani is tidy as!

 

Feel a bit sorry for the doctor that nobody likes him. He seems the most real out of all the guys. 

 

Adam is a wank

 

You've nailed it.

 

Agree about Dani, but think Jack will punt her tonight for some limelight! 

[cuthy2k]

Disappointed at the lack of pics. 

[iantjambo]

46 minutes ago, cuthy2k said:

Disappointed at the lack of pics. 

 

Here you go mate

 

 

 

You’re welcome ??

Edited June 8, 2018 by iantjambo

[shaun.lawson]

Just shoot me now.

 

 

[shaun.lawson]

Quite enjoyed this - by Hugo Rifkind of The Times.

 

The big story of the week, among some people, albeit probably not you, is that fewer people applied this year to go to Oxford and Cambridge than to appear in the second series of the ITV2 dating programme Love Island. Across social media, this led to widespread angst, derision, accusations of snobbery and humourless grandstanding about debt, all of which was fairly predictable. What nobody seems have noted, though, is that the experience of arriving at both is quite similar.

 

Going up to Oxbridge hits you in one of two ways. Some people go into shock. Back at their sixth-form college in Arsehampton, Bottomshire, they were the cleverest and most interesting person around. Here, though, they’re average. Or worse, bland. Sure, they’re quite good on Shakespeare’s use of garden imagery in Hamlet and are grade seven at the violin, but that bloke in the next room? He’s trilingual. He’s dating a Cambodian princess. He has read Thucydides in Greek, spent his gap year interning for Deutsche Bank and used to be secretary-general of the Model UN.

 

This, in Love Island terms, is the experience of Alex, an A&E doctor from Lewisham. A big guy, with the haunted handsomeness of an aristocratic coward who let his men die in the trenches, he was probably, until now, the best-looking person he had met. Compared with this lot, though? He hasn’t spent long enough working on his tan. Probably because he was working on saving lives and stuff. He has zero tattoos. His muscles and belly, while respectively large and flat, are still the pinkish mediocrity of a Cornish sailing holiday, rather than the carved, improbable mahogany of the Instagram model. Relatively speaking, in other words, he mings. Within hours, he has about him the stench of disappointment. It’s awful.

 

The opposite approach, Oxbridgewise, is to feel like you’ve blagged it and experience an overwhelming sense of relief. That was me. Emmanuel College, 1995. “I’m here!” I said to myself. “I can do basically nothing for the next three years, and I will still always be a person who got into Cambridge.” On Love Island, that’s Dani Dyer, the daughter of the EastEnders actor Danny Dyer. Exactly why somebody called “Danny” would call their daughter “Dani” is a question puzzling the nation, but we can all frown about that on our own time. Dani won plaudits for arriving in the house in an asymmetrical bikini, but it strikes me as highly possible that she has just stuck her head in the wrong bit. With only the pretty face of the girl next door, she sometimes looks like a fan who has won a competition to hang out with the Pussycat Dolls. No matter. She’s bloody loving it.

 

Shut up. Yes I am allowed to talk about them like this. What do you think Love Island is? It’s porn without the porn. It’s the absolute joy of getting a bunch of horrendously beautiful people and putting them in an environment that is not so much sexually charged, but utterly decharged of anything else. Here, under the hot Spanish sun, they get to do things they are brilliant at, such as wearing clothes, and not wearing clothes, but they also have to do things they are terrible at, such as talking in complete sentences.

 

They need to pair up, because these are the rules, and if they don’t they get kicked out. Dani starts off with Jack, who sells pens. “I didn’t even know that was a thing,” she says, amazed. Where did you think pens came from, Dani? “This pen is going to change your life,” says Jack, explaining his sales patter. “You can write in the dark with it.” What, like all pens? Jack’s teeth are insanely white. Yes, so are all their teeth, but his are so white that even people with white teeth mention it. “His teeth are really white, though,” Dani says. “Very white ****ing teeth,” says somebody else. You know that bit in Pulp Fiction, when they open the briefcase? It’s like that when Jack opens his mouth.

 

Everybody is beautiful, but some are more beautiful than others. Probably the most beautiful couple so far are Eyal and Hayley. He’s a model. She too is a model. She likes his hair. He likes people who are “deep” and being whipped during sex. “I want to be with somebody who isn’t superficial,” he explains, as they loll on a sundrenched sofa. “What does superficial mean?” she says. You can see why people watch this, right?

 

The biggest drama concerns the triangle of Niall, Kendall and Adam. The first two started off as a couple and were really close, but then Adam took Kendall away and kissed her, “so we don’t need to spoon when we get back”, and now Kendall is conflicted and Niall is sad. All this in, like, a day and a half. Adam is huge, powerful and gorgeous, like a Dothraki, but Niall has something called “a great personality”. This is certainly considered an asset on Love Island, but only on a par with, say, nice eyes, or good abs.

 

Still, I do find myself hoping that he and Kendall get back together. Niall, you see, is looking for love, which he defines as liking somebody even when they’ve not got make-up on. I’m writing this after only two episodes. Lord knows what will have happened by the time you get to read it. Probably nothing at all.

[theshed]

48 minutes ago, shaun.lawson said:

Just shoot me now.

 

 

 

No danger anyone is this daft.

 

Just playing the dumb card to get max attention as all these people  do on this type of show 

[lewis2006]

On 05/06/2018 at 15:41, iantjambo said:

 

Why would it only be idiots that watch these kind of shows?

 

Sorry I should have been clearer.

 

Telly made by idiots....

 

Watched by total morons