Gershwin Posted January 21, 2013 Share Posted January 21, 2013 Need to give the toast at a Burns Supper this weekend. Anyone know a good resource that might give me some inspiration? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Van Wilder Posted January 21, 2013 Share Posted January 21, 2013 Drink lots of whisky and see how it goes. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sidsnot Posted January 21, 2013 Share Posted January 21, 2013 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The People's Chimp Posted January 21, 2013 Share Posted January 21, 2013 A quick google threw up this "gem": Sensible advice to womenfolk preparing for their husband's return from work- from the May 13,1955, issue of Housekeeping Monthly. Take 15 minutes to rest so you'll be refreshed when he arrives. Touch up your make-up, put a ribbon in your hair and be fresh-looking. Be a little gay and a little more interesting for him. His boring day may need a lift and one of your duties is to provide it. At the time of his arrival, eliminate all noise of the washer, dryer or vacuum. Try to encourage the children to be quiet. Listen to him. You may have a dozen important things to tell him, but the moment of his arrival is not the time. Let him talk first, remember, his topics of conversation are more important than yours. Make the evening his. Never complain if he comes home late or goes out to dinner, or other places of entertainment, without you. Instead, try to understand his world of strain and pressure. Arrange his cushion and offer to take off his shoes. Speak in a low, soothing and pleasant voice. Don't ask him questions about his actions. Remember, he is the master of the house and as such will always exercise his will with fairness and truthfulness. You have no right to question him. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sidsnot Posted January 21, 2013 Share Posted January 21, 2013 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BigC Posted January 21, 2013 Share Posted January 21, 2013 There's a decent wee ditty on this thread: http://www.hmfckickback.co.uk/index.php?/topic/105856-robert-burns/page__st__50 Feel free to help yourself! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Boomstick Posted January 22, 2013 Share Posted January 22, 2013 The best I ever heard was really respectful to women and poked fun at the sexism of the typical toasts. The stupid cow that did the reply came out with a load of tired sexist cliches and made a right ***** of herself. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tazio Posted January 22, 2013 Share Posted January 22, 2013 That photo makes me very glad I drink. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sidsnot Posted January 22, 2013 Share Posted January 22, 2013 That photo makes me very glad I drink. Hic, me two or too even. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
IronJambo Posted January 23, 2013 Share Posted January 23, 2013 What's your menu? I'm doing haggis, neeps an tatties as a starter with whisky sauce. Then a venison and ale pie followed by cranachan. Got a nice 15 year old Glenlivet to help the evening along Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JT1959 Posted January 23, 2013 Share Posted January 23, 2013 Make sure you have a picture of the recently revealed face of Rab Burns. http://internationalscotland.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/01/RobertBurns.jpg Constructed from a cast taken of Robert Burns skull. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ianski77 Posted January 24, 2013 Share Posted January 24, 2013 I gave the toast to the lassies at a Burns Supper on Saturday and I decided to write my own speech. Generally if it is a formal occasion it should last around 5 minutes. My toast was on scottish women through the ages with plenty of jokes thrown in. My advice would be to combine and adapt what you find on the internet rather than copy it in it's entirety especially if the crowd have been to a load of Burn's suppers before. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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